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Heart Ki

The Three Conditions to Attract your Soul Mate

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The vast majority of people idealizes that upon meeting a Soul Mate, they’ll be in a permanent state of bliss. This is not true.

The first part about being prepared to meet your Soul Mate, is to discard the common human illusions about love.

1. Relinquish the Illusion

When you are “in love”, you’re high. You’re floating in the clouds, you see the world through pink glasses, everything is perfect, everyone is good. And you see the person you love as flawless. He/she’s up there in a pedestal. And because this person loves you back above all others, you feel superhuman.

You’re at the top of Mount Olympus.

The “Being in Love” experience is equal parts spiritual and biological. It’s both a release of chemicals — the biological part — and it’s also experiencing the Love of Spirit, while still incarnated. It’s what you feel in the Light realms when you’re permeated by the Love from Source.

This is why people become addicted to drugs that alter their consciousness to make them feel more optimistic, take things less seriously, bypass obligations and seriousness. It’s a shortcut to Heaven.

It’s also why the idea of “being in love” is so magical, so alluring.

There’s nothing wrong about being in love. Should you experience it, by all means enjoy it. But to pursue relationships seeking the “being in love” state, the “high”, is the act of an addict seeking the next fix – rather than the choice of a balanced individual with healthy emotions.

The physical body can’t handle being “high” all the time, from romantic experiences or otherwise. This is why “being in love” fades after a time. It must.

Blissful states are always transient, and must be a natural spontaneous experiences derived from meaningful moments in life. They are not supposed to be controlled or have expectations upon. If you want to be “high”, and you force it on yourself through drugs on an habitual basis, for example, it becomes a shortcut that fries your biological circuitry.

When you’re “in love” and you feel someone is absolutely perfect and flawless, you must practice the realization that such perception is false. It’s an illusion. No person is flawless. Not even your Soul Mate. A person may be perfect for you; but no one is truly without shortcomings, challenges, quirks. That doesn’t exist. It’s part of the human experience.

If you carry the expectation that Love is the “high” part, once it wears off and you’re left with a regular person, you’ll unconsciously be left disappointed. This is why many cheat. They might love the person they’re with, but they miss the excitement of the “high” when someone new is met, and want to repeat it.

The feeling of being in love might be a reflection of Spirit Love. But at the same time, if it makes you see something that’s not entirely true, if it leaves you less grounded, then it must be put into perspective.

Regardless of the manner by which you meet and link up with your Soul Mate, what you can have is not a relationship when you’re always blissful. Instead, you feel as if you’re poking your head into another dimension. You’re in awe, humbled, blessed – rather than blissful and ecstatic.

The relationship with a Soul Mate is a transcendental experience – rather than an endorphin release.

What your Soul Mate offers is the possibility of not participating in your habitual karmic patterns. If you’re always ultimately rejected, your Soul Mate won’t reject you. If you always end up hurt, your Soul Mate won’t hurt you. If you’re always cheated upon, the person won’t cheat on you. This person may spark those karmic elements. There may be scares, and dealing with past trauma. But for the first time there will be a real possibility for an actual improvement, rather than the inevitable descent into the same repetitive negative outcome. If the following conditions are met.

First, you must realize you’re in a relationship with a person that’s not made of metal, but a soft, sensitive, sometimes frail human being, like you. This is the #1 we’ve been addressing so far: relinquishing illusory idealizations, and anchoring your expectations firmly in reality.

In certain ways the relationship won’t necessarily start by being a finished article. You must be tolerant, not expect perfection, and not give up. This is the one person you don’t want to miss out on, whom you must hold on to. You’ll know it when he/she appears. You really must give all you have, put everything on the line, delivering your fair share of the effort. Which leads us into the second condition.

Second, you must take ownership for your own burdens. You must be able to pull your own emotional weight. There are never absolute guarantees in any situation in life, at least not ones that take all your accountability away. These are the next points, #2 and #3.

2. Grab the Leash of your Ego Patterns

During our experience as humans we develop a ton of ego-based patterns and vices, specially about relationships. Power trips, manipulation, emotional blackmail, victimization, invalidation, emotional distance, etc. Some people are tolerant of unhealthy relationships and abuse. Some people become addicted to seduction games and sleeping around.

We develop these things as replacements of self esteem, as defenses, as protection, as a way to feel well and avoid being disliked, unliked, left behind, etc. They are acquired responses to dealing with trauma and pain.

But you can’t carry those patterns into a Soul Mate relationship, at least not in an out-of-control manner, without having a leash on them. You must commit to having them under control. Otherwise, they would corrupt and destroy your relationship. For this reason, your spirit guides, generally speaking, don’t even allow your Soul Mate and you to approach each other, as long as you allow these things (which exist within you) to run rampant.

This is the same thing as considering you don’t attract your “ideal” relationship because you energy is not suitable yet. You can’t handle a Soul-level connection if you’re operating at ego-level.

Much like when you throw a brick into a swimming pool and the water gives way to accommodate the solid object, the energy that manifests around you, in your life, is the lowest vibration that you conceive and tolerate for yourself. Here, affirmations, positive thinking, dreams, etc, are irrelevant — only your actions count. If you tolerate unhealthy relationships for yourself, partners that disrespect and abuse you, then these energies occupy the “space” of your relationship and your Soul Mate can’t appear. If you chase after people based on appearance and ego play, this habit will occupy the “space”, and your Soul Mate can’t appear.

Only when you make a conscious decision to bypass your personal ego-based karmic patterns, do you begin to allow the space for an healthy relationship to appear. And this is your choice, your accountability alone.

It doesn’t necessarily mean you suddenly shut down your karmic tendencies overnight simply because you snapped your fingers. Karma is difficult and hard to deal with. But your choice is all that takes to begin your healing. You are here to make choices. Maybe it’s your genuine inner commitment all it takes for your Soul Mate to appear.

3. Discard the Waiting = Be Fine on your Own

The third and final condition for your Soul Mate to appear, is that you discard the waiting altogether.

“Waiting” for the special someone may be hiding a ego-based pattern of being anxious and suffering because of lack.

You can’t be emotionally dependent, “needy”, and still find your Soul Mate. Again, your spirit guides would never allow you to squander the opportunity of meeting your equal half, by having you carry along with you an unhealthy emotional behavior that drains the energy of the one you’re in a relationship with.

Your happiness cannot be a burden for someone else to carry.

Closely related with #2, you must be willing to carry your emotional weight, taking control of your own neediness. It doesn’t mean you’re flawless at it, but that you do your best.

You solve this by discarding spending energy on old patterns, and learning how to be fine by yourself, on your own. This usually involves a high degree of self-acceptance, of you and however you are. You’ve probably also gave up chasing after things, and/or subjecting yourself to things you don’t really want to. At this point, maybe not everything about your life is idyllic and perfect – but you’ve found a degree of peace within it. When you are able to do this, then you’re fine on your own.

At this point, there’s no more “waiting” for anything. You’re comfortable with who you are.

You might still wish for a Soul Mate. You’ve simply eliminated the waiting, the neediness.

Wishing for a Soul Mate is legitimate. If your spirit knows there’s a Soul Mate out there, you can’t remove from yourself the desire to experience such a relationship. And you don’t have to. You simply have to prepare, to balance, the parts of yourself that are in unbalanced, craving it.

If your thoughts fall into “how much time” to the person appear, or “how long” can you handle being alone, then you’re still waiting.

Have you ever heard how someone ultimately found the correct person “when they least expected”? This is because they had given up on the expecting. They gave up on the waiting/seeking. They finally lowered their harms and just proceeded with their life. And lo and behold, around the corner there’s a person who just so happens to be better than everyone else before him/her.

Soul Mates are magical, but at the same time they’re not. They’re simply human beings like you and me, who just so happen to match you perfectly.

They don’t carry you with the angels so you can leave the Earth plane and be done with all mundane tasks and pain.

Their magic is that they help bring the Heavens to you, down here on Earth.

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  • Dawn

    “They don’t carry you with the angels so you can leave the Earth plane and be done with all mundane tasks and pain.”
    Oh, how I wish.. but I can deal with heaven on earth! :-)
    Thank you for this article. I’m still desiring my soulmate but I am no longer waiting!

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