A Discussion on Soul Mates, and How to Find Yours

This text is dedicated for those of you who might wonder if there’s The One for you: that perfect person, prince Charming, the perfect princess, your soul mate. YES, there is. The question is, what does it take for this person to appear in your life, and how do you do it.

Regarding Love, there’s a myth about another myth. One myth states that the perfect person is somewhere out there. The other says that there is no such thing.

There really is someone who matches you perfectly for this lifetime. In broad terms there might be more than one, depending on what you had chosen or planned for this lifetime. But there’s always a partnership whose potential goes beyond physical attraction, passionate fling, experimentation, or even a “solid relationship” you must “work on”. There will be a true spiritual match.

The other myth, the one that says that there’s no such thing, while not true, also transmits a realistic, down-to-earth side to it: the person will be perfect to you, but not actually perfect. Any mental idealization is false, in the sense that there is no such thing a flawless or featureless person. Unless you’re both Ascended, when (if) you meet, there will still be issues to work with, edges to soften, possibly karmic (past-life) stuff to get out of the way. The difference will be the Spiritual, and it will be the glue underneath all human emotion, impulse, doubt and thought, which will confer true stability and solidness to your match.

For each Soul in existence there is usually, in general terms, an energetic complement somewhere in the cosmos. The union, or mating, or pairing of the two can reach, in ideal circumstances, the greatest, highest, deepest degree of fusion. This is a reflection of the One God being fundamentally divided into its two sacred aspects: the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine. It’s only natural to admit that in some way each Soul spark is also split into two fundamental aspects. There are several distinctions and terms to name these aspects: twin flames, soul mates, etc. I’m using Soul mates in this text.

There are complexities to this story. Because by stating there is one other twin Soul, I’m purposely neglecting crazy metaphysics stuff, like parallel timelines, each Soul / Higher Self potentially has multiple aspects in several realms of Creation, each Soul may be divided my multiple beings… So keep in mind that by using the term “one” I’m reducing to an individual something that is multiple, complex, and infinite. But, for the purposes of the human thinking, it’s fair enough to put things in this way. Because in a typical monogamous relationship, you’re not relating to someone’s 100 separate aspects: you’re interacting with one individual person (hopefully).

In societies or cultures of higher densities, such as 4D and above, it’s fairly common for a being to meet and/or be aware of its complementary mate, as a kind of requirement, a foundation, for it to endeavor in its unique life mission and purpose. Otherwise (especially in 4D) the search for partner, the exploration for mating, and dealing with less than ideal partners, would make it difficult for any kind of non-partnership life pursuit and focus. This is not linear however, because exploration of several beings and partnerships may be exactly what the Soul wants to experience. Furthermore, there are many kinds of models and beliefs and cultures across the Cosmos regarding personal partnerships. Like humans, it’s natural for a given being to have a degree of compatibility with others. Still, it’s a rough generalization, but viable nonetheless, that the presence or contact with the Soul mate is an important aspect of one’s existence.

The Human Common Relationships

However, humans spend a massive amount of energy and time searching and looking for partners, and to then to the breeding of children.

The word “breeding” may be purposely reductive and negative. So why am I using it? Because in the decision to have children in regular human consciousness, there’s a great deal of biological impulses, and mass-consciousness inherited and patterned needs, beyond actual Love and spiritual desire to serve another Soul. I’m not saying Love isn’t involved, but it’s not just about Love.

This is in part because of genetic features of the human DNA, and in part because in 3D the human body is vibrationally still very attached, very related, to the ones of animals, and their biological, instinctive impulses. Sexual and emotional impulses are so strong that humans who aren’t aware there is an ideal match for them easily form mating couples with less than ideal partners, and find themselves involved in all kinds of partial, incomplete, inharmonious, and unbalanced relationships. Then, they spend all of their energy busy dealing with this, with the loss of energy that continuously comes from these kinds of attachments.

At several points in the early history of human evolution, humans were in direct and indirect contact with beings not from Earth, more evolved in consciousness and awareness. In very broad terms, these were the various mythological “gods”. They worked very much to the human society like parents to young children. And much like you may spend your entire life replicating and/or fighting the memories of your own parents at an individual level, the human race, as a biological and spiritual consciousness, still has these cellular memories of looking up to unquestionable, perfect, and greater beings. For it is normal for a lesser, less evolved being to face more evolved ones like they’re perfect, out of reach, much like a pet loves unconditionally an owner, oftentimes regardless if the owner is caring and loving, or an insensitive and violent person.

These cellular memories of “perfect parents” manifest in the human species when the young child faces the parents as “perfect” (perfect gods), and pretty much takes in, absorbs, and replicates, everything it sees from its parents since birth. Then, there’s a certain time in life of every person where the lens through which this perfection falls away, and the person realises the parents aren’t really perfect and unquestionable at all: they are just regular people (albeit still its parents). This moment is a replication on an individual level, ancestral memory of when the ancient young humans, either in a sudden moment or over time, may have realized their caretaker gods and rulers might not have been necessarily as godly as they seemed to be. The humans growth, by the way, was one of the things that drove the “gods” to distance themselves further back, so that could still control humans, while not allowing them to see the “gods” for what they truly where: just regular beings, not any better than themselves. Keeping the appearances, you see.

But I digress. This is about Soul mates.

The memories of “perfect gods”, and “perfect parents”, make humans want to recover that once they lose it, in looking for perfect partners after they lose the illusion of perfect parents. This is why puberty generally follows this realization of the individual. The desire for external perfection was transferred from parents to the equal-standing partnership.

Hence, they tend to “fall in love” with their partner of choice or interest. Or, in other words, look at him/her as perfect – for a short while. This is almost a biological, genetic predisposition, you see. A programming. The person becomes completely oblivious that the human in front of if is a complex and partial being, and with whom a pairing might not be completely adequate. It simply – for a brief period – loves him/her unconditionally.

This feeling of Love is actually very real. It’s the Divine unconditional energy of Love almost in its pure state. However, it’s most commonly felt at the 1st and 2nd chakras, the raw biology centers, with little other energies balancing it out. So instead of serving the human, it completely dominates and overpowers him like as if an hypnosis, or a drug-induced high state. Love does indeed have such an effect, but its effect depends on the level of consciousness of the individual. The biological-predominant effect of “being in love” lasts for months, maybe one or two years, which is enough time to procreate and appropriately keep the couple together for them to breed children, at least in their early stages of life. It’s like animals that are driven with the impulse of mating, but with a brain that is rationalizing and making up excuses as it goes along. But the brain as little to no influence in the process. It’s the biological impulse of mating and breeding that dominates, that wasn’t really that much updated from the 2D roots of the biological body’s DNA – at least in the common level of human awareness, which works at most at 3rd chakra (mental) level.

Hence, humans spend a massive amount of energy in its relationship drama, which could be otherwise invested in themselves, in their own personal focus, to spiritually evolve in a sustainable way.

The Bitterness Virus

When relationships inevitably break down and humans get hurt, they “put rocks over it”, they “move on”, and force themselves to “forget”. And they convince others and themselves that they’ve forgotten the situation. Then, they use other people and new love to compensate, to heal the previous experience. “What you need is a new love“.

But guess what. “Moving on” is not healing. Not if you haven’t accepted and got true emotional closure from the situation. That means feeling everything and anything you need to, crying, screaming, forgiving, and letting a bit of lone time gone by. Your Spirit needs some processing to truly move past the experience.

But what happens instead? You’re angered, frustrated, hurt, you can’t stand the pain, you feel revolted at not being valued enough, loved enough, at being traded by someone else, or simply not dealing with things well enough. You babble with your friends to ask for their reassurance. You do everything, except just feeling and letting go. So the experience wasn’t really healed. When an experience isn’t healed, it’s always active in the present moment. The person might not actively feel the fear that the experience repeats itself again, but it’s always there. So the tendency is exactly for the experience to happen again. The situation that happened in the first love magically happens in the next, and in the next, and in the next.

The problem is that the human can’t face and deal with the original memory, with the original loss, because they cause an immense and uncontrollable amount of emotions and pain. The unhealed energy remains buried, repeatedly, underneath recurring layers of more unhealed energy. This is the definition of “karma”: unresolved emotion stacked in layers. And that’s not all.

In the next lives, instead of being finally open to new experience, the Spirit again attracts exactly the same people to try to solve the multiple layers of karma it has with them, and free itself. So when it finds the person again, the cellular memories of intense emotion again invade its body, causing the “stomach butterflies” sensation (1st and 2nd chakras, max up to 3rd) and they are so strong and intense, and exciting, they are confused with love and passion. And everything just repeats itself.

To make things even worse, no other human is really able to help, other than to offer similarly unguided advice from similarly unresolved emotions of its own. Furthermore, all scientists and psychologists are humans themselves. There are no theories or studies who can help the psychologists and scientists themselves, when their own human chemistry pull their own body uncontrollably all over the place. No matter how much they analyse the subject, Love is spiritual. And contemporary sciences and fields of study only marginally contemplate the generic thing called spirit. The human spirit, they call it informally. But their mainstream studies only go so far as to the brain.

Finally, because things only rarely end up well, and humans can only really get hurt, people get disappointed and disillusioned, bitter, and frustrated. And they eventually settle with keeping intact the lousy relationships they manage to have (because they can’t manage to be alone either). They go from the original Spirit’s dream to meet up with their mate, to a “realistic” standpoint, which states there is no The One, it’s all an illusion. And they spend the rest of their frustrated time telling (infecting) other humans and their own children that the ideal relationship is a mirage, a myth, that it doesn’t really exist.

They only do so because they gave up fighting with the uncertainty, they gave up looking. And that only created frustration within their Spirit, because they decided to cut off a part of it. The ironic part is, a Soul mate appearing gives you spiritual certainty. You just don’t really know how it is, until it appears. Until it appears, no matter what words come out of your mouth, you don’t know how it is.

This is actually a crime to the Soul, because you were at a point of looking for the ideal partner, you were at 5D, hence you hoped or had faith in some way, that it existed. But if you eat the lie that there isn’t, then you gave up on that truth, you dropped to 4D, by admitting not-ideal relationships in your energy.

As a result of all of this, humans spend an enormous amount of vital energy dealing with finding The One, with strong emotions, with the underlying “uncertainty of Love”, and dealing with all the other people who aren’t really The One – and above all, dealing with the karma they have with those. They rarely have the opportunity, or are ready, to manifest their energetic mate, or their ideal romantic “contract”, in a certain lifetime.

What Does It Take For The Person to Appear

I don’t assume to know everyone’s case, but it’s safe to generalize it this way: if you allow lower energy to exist in your life, or if you are open to it, then it will always take up the space ahead of higher energy.

Imagine you have a solid brick, and you throw it into a pool. The water will make way for the brick to occupy its space, regardless of where it falls. The principle is the same with Soul mates, and it’s absolutely valid for anything in your life. If you are willing to concede space to relationship types and patterns that you’ve acknowledged probably are not really healthy to you – even if they spark something inside you, if they awaken a kind of interest, flare, excitement.

Nothing wrong with physical attraction, sex, spice, excitement. But these things can either be aligned with the Spiritual portion, or not. If they’re not, there’s this element of insecurity and instability that can never be resolved.

The appearance of a true, full-matching Soul mate, or its highest possible manifestation, is a trait of the human who’s undergoing the path of Oneness, the path of Unity. This means his path consists of surpassing duality and integrating within itself all its positivity and negativity. By the degree that you become whole by yourself, it’s the degree that you can manifest a person who is wholly integrated with you.

Still, I restate that there is an ideal match for your life circumstances, if not for your entire life, then let’s relax that concept a little, let’s not set the expectation so high you may feel you can’t reach it, and let’s state it would be an ideal fit for your current and near-future life circumstances – and the rest depends on you. There is a person who matches you in ways that might go beyond any considerations of your mind or emotions. It is, for all purposes, your ideal match.

The way to get your ideal relationship match is always to decide it so:

I only want The One for me. And nothing else.

You don’t need to define how the person is. You don’t need to write it down repeatedly, and say positive affirmations to the mirror. You don’t need to conduct elaborate systems, or rituals. Like all things spiritual in your life, you only need todecide. And then, stick with it. Decision means commitment. For usually there are tests right after the decision, to assess your resolve. If your choices on those tests happen to be aligned with your choice, you’ve past them. If you got to a point where you’ve made that decision, the tests will generally be relatively easy, or at least accessible, let’s call it that.

The difficulty about deciding is getting there. First, you have to believe, of course, or at least hope, in this Soul mate thing. And then, you have to get past all your emotional karma, your past-life patterns, and your raw impulses, which most of the time might be misguided and put you into problems in the first place. The most usual occurrence is going through a bunch of difficult relationships, going through a lot of pain and stuff. That’s called karma burning. And then those situations eventually get you to a place where you’re finally fed up of bad relationships.

So, at that point, there’s various ways to “decide”. One of them is simply, giving up and being OK by yourself. Have you ever noticed how people often say their best long-term relationships only came about when they least expected? This is because they finally got to a point of balance, of relaxation.

They said to themselves: “You know what? I’m tired of this running around. I’m just fine by myself, for as long as I need to be, and I don’t care if I stay alone for the rest of my life, but it’s either someone right for me, or no-one at all“.

Why is that? Because in a way, they made their decision by finally coming to a point of letting go of need, of anxiety. They inadvertently made de decision of being in an energy which is relaxed, calm, tranquil, assured. This is what happened to me personally. They might not be super happy, super-fantastic-awesome excited, but in a weird but powerful way, they found almost like an inner peace. And this is the best state for letting things come to you, as opposed to chasing after things with neediness and anxiety, and living in a roller coaster all the time. Roller coaster rides are fun, but only up to a point.

If you are reading this text, and if it rings true to you, then it is very likely you’re about ready to take that decision to yourself, to let go of the need to have that relationship. To Like/Love is Spiritual, to Need is always karmic. If you wish to manifest your ideal Loved one, you merely have to find your own way of getting into your point of balance, your point of relief. And make the decision. And the rest will sort itself out. Count on that.

Getting in touch with your Soul mate, or with your ideal romantic contract for this lifetime, is therefore a very spiritual thing, because it touches the fact that you attract him/her by staying in the right energy yourself. And this is oftentimes associated with the process of Awakening, because a) you’ll be way more in touch with your true self, thus attracting someone who loves who you truly are, and b) you have to clear lots of karma to be able to get ready for such a relationship, and you’ll do that anyway just by being in the Awakening process. Being with this person, even if it’s not a perfect situation in the beginning, has the potential to get you to a state that matches your Spirit’s dreams of being reunited with the one perfect Love.