Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading [Written]: Homeworld of Pure Connection

The following is a Akashic Records Reading (Written) originally performed for a client. This is a reading performed over two weeks and delivered to the client in written, essay form. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would impact the original, intended meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Written Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

Part I: Origins

1.1 Homeworld

As I open the reading, I’m shown the image of a planet which is not Earth. I’m being shown this image from up above as if I’m hovering in space, from which I’m able to look down on the surface from a distance that allows me to take it in as a whole. This is a rocky (solid) planet like Earth, it would be perhaps slightly smaller but comparable in size. From what I can gather, there seems to be a much smaller proportion of bodies of water on the surface of this planet compared to Earth. The majority of the surface appears to be solid ground, or at least that’s what I’m shown. No discernible oceans or lakes are seen, and rivers, while existing, are too small and thin to be clearly noticeable from this distance.

One particular feature of the planet’s surface is that it is very rough: full of ridges and edges, hills and mountains, and lots of different elevations, transitioning between each other in all manner of gentle and sharp ways. There are a few flat or flat-ish portions to the surface: these seem to be congregated in areas that sit between some of the major mountain ranges. Perhaps it may have been that courses of water, present or past, that may have carved into the landscape over time, helping shape these flatter portions which now form a few running valleys as well as many smaller winding passageways, of varying sizes, that permeate what we would otherwise call a predominantly mountainous terrain throughout. While the landscape is generally rough throughout, within it there are a few gigantic, wide, large-scale mountains and ranges that are so tall compared to the rest, that they seem to reach even above the planet’s atmosphere, nearly and seemingly peering directly into space. These are not “peaks” in shape but rather wider, rounder mountaintops and larger sequences of terrain standing in high altitude. Much like continents on Earth are portions of land rising above sea water levels, these parts would register a little like “continents” of land rising above the main portions of the planet’s atmosphere. These elevated portions of ground at high altitudes, contrary to what would probably be expected on Earth, do not seem to be “white” i.e. covered in snow at the top, but mostly sharing the same tones with the rest of the terrain.

Streaks and plumes of clouds, of a very pure but faded white, run across the high altitudes, swirling and swooshing in circular patterns as if stirred by an invisible spoon of a cook on the surface of a soup, this “soup” being the atmosphere that enshrouds the surface of the whole planet all around. These clouds are sometimes pierced by the tallest mountains and portions of terrain that rise up above their level, which they seem to be forced to circumvent. Other than the clouds, the atmosphere and air appear almost completely translucent, transparent; the atmosphere’s presence is only discernible by the aforementioned clouds floating on its “surface”, and perhaps by a subtle difference in hue and luminosity between the colors of the planet’s surface down below as it is illuminated by its star and the deep vastness of outer space, that exists very subtly beyond the difference in color itself, if that makes sense. For someone standing on the surface, the air would feel pure and pristine. It would be comparable to the purest, most clean breathable air on a natural growth forest on Earth. It is so pure and healthy, if you will, that it would physically feel slightly cold, without temperature-wise being actually cold.

Seen from this distance, foliage (flora) i.e. the “green parts”, do not seem to be a predominant element on the landscape. The surface is mostly a smattering of grays and browns, as if we’d be looking at an arid or tundra-like landscape on Earth. However, there are a few noticeable patches of densely-packed flora, dark green in color, covering large swathes of the surface in certain specific areas. These patches of vegetation are mostly concentrated around the base of various of the mountainous areas as if tucked against their sides; and most often in lower-altitude areas formed between those mountainous regions, possibly where they’d be more sheltered from the elements. They seem to grow at a certain, specific altitude range, not growing above and not growing below certain thresholds of altitude. Consequently they’re forming full or partial ring-like shapes, at the base of the mountains at the base of which they grow. These patches of vegetation are areas of dense, pristine forest. Contrasting with the general lack of green tones in the landscape otherwise, some of these forest patches are so large and extensive, that they’d be equivalent in size to countries, seas, or even continents on Earth. There doesn’t seem to be a gradual transition between forest and non-forest, in other words between where forest ends and non-forested landscape begins; from up above, the boundaries of these forested patch look as if clearly delineated, forest transitioning to non-forest in a relatively abrupt manner.

I am shown the images above, as an Akashic Records reader being given access to them, watching them myself as they are registered in the Akash; but at the same time I’m also seeing them through Helen’s eyes, as the one who had firsthand experience of them. Just to clarify, the second point didn’t have to be so i.e. I could be shown something that existed, without the person actually ever having perceived it that way, for the purposes of context for example. But that’s not the case here, because what’s being shown was also known by the self, the way it was shown. That is to say, Helen lived and experienced this planet, and not only that, she witnessed what is being shown, the way it is shown. The visual information that is presented is part of her personal (spiritual) memories and references of it. These for the most part are not held consciously, of course, but nonetheless exist in her Akashic Records, as spiritual/timeless memories, and are just as real and true. Further, Helen has knowledge of this planet not just from having lived on its surface but also from witnessing it from up above with her own eyes, which is the generally same perspective from which the descriptions have been offered.

1.2 Biology

Even though Helen today is a human being living on Earth, at some point of her past she was another type intelligent being, living on this planet, a reference she carries spiritually with her. Helen is thus a Starseed, meaning, a spiritual entity who has had experience on other placed in the Cosmos before coming to Earth. A Starseed is just like any other human being, in the sense of being a spiritual self incarnating in a physical body, for a time; the only differences relating to, perhaps, a a very subtle sensation, residing mostly in the spiritual background, of one not fully feeling as a part of, “belonging”, to this planet and the realities and experiences there, simply because the self has had more experiences, of different types, before. So one tends to passively, inadvertently, unconsciously, place all things that are seen and lived from the perspective of knowing “there’s more than this”. Further, that I can gather, Helen has spiritually a very close affinity with this planet. It’s what she spiritually regards as her Home – or her Homeworld, if you will. We’ll say Helen is a being from this planet, currently incarnating on Earth as human. She has done so for many lives, this is not by any means her first life on Earth. And yet, on a spiritual level, she nonetheless retains this close sense of identity with her Homeworld; this is how she sees herself and how she feels: as someone from that place, as someone who is on Earth but hails from that world.

We’ll proceed to describe the beings from this other planet, appearance-wise and in biological terms. This would apply both to how Helen would look like when on this planet, and also in general i.e. applicable to the biology of all the beings there. The reading here goes through a process by which it adds layers of information to fledge out an image that corresponds to this biology and appearance. So to start it offers the image of the “base” template of the human form. This form essentially is very similar to the human being on Earth: bipedal and humanoid, and generally with the same proportions in physical and body shape. The main difference being the one of the skin, which is more of a mix of gray and blue-ish hues, as opposed to the more beige and brown tonalities and variations of the skin of humans on Earth. Next, in place of what would be the hair in a human, from the top and back of the head, a bundle of very thick, to the lack of better words, spines or protrusions, juts backwards. These protrusions grow and are bundled together with next to no space between them. Their thickness is such that there’s much fewer of them than the amount of strands on human hair: in number they seem to be only a few, they would number in the dozens at most, at most; the total amount of them certainly not reaching three digits. They all grow out in the same direction, the shape they describe obeying gravity slightly, while looking quite stiff, growing out slightly upward first and then slowly and slightly downward describing a gentle curve like a bow bends when you pull its string, together the protrusions forming a sort of a crest in the back of the head. The protrusions look to be made of keratin or a keratin-looking material. In appearance – and also thickness – they would fall somewhere between the base of a bird feather, the quill of a porcupine, and also, the rope-like appearance of a strand of hair in Rastafarian dreadlocks.

Past, perhaps, the first one-fourth of their length, each of these protrusions, spines, or “hairs” if you will, develops a “fuzz” of secondary material all around them, in a circular shape around the core shaft, running the rest of the length until the end. I’m uncertain what material these are made of, but they appear to be a variation of what the primary protrusion is made of, but of a much lighter nature. This “fuzz” would be very soft to the touch, giving way to contact without resistance, almost as if touching a very light patch of fur, or maybe the soft fluff of a dandelion. The core shaft of the spine is predominantly of a more neutral gray-brown tone, while the fuzz around it is of a very soft and see-through, but still quite easily discernible, gray-blue, the two tones having some parallels between then but the fuzz holding relatively more color despite being semi-transparent. The cumulative effect of the “fuzz” of all primary protrusions creates an element of, so to speak, styling and differentiation, not unlike in the same vein of variations in texture, shape, and styling to human hair, with the tonality of blues of the fuzz in particular having slight variations between different individuals.

Out of the sides of the face, at the top where the “cheek” begins (picture the highest point from where beards in males can grow) there is material that grows, similar to the one described, growing on the sides of the face, but that does not seem to completely connect at the front, registering a little like extended, wide “sideburns”, or a sidebeard if you will. There’s some differentiation, in this growth, between males and females, and among individuals in general: some have very little, barely growing it, while others have comparatively more; but loosely speaking both genders, as well as all individuals in a general sense, have it. This material is similar or related to the one described for the top and back of the head but on a smaller scale and size, and it also has two types of elements to its composition (i.e. core shaft and “fuzz”) but not as extreme in their difference. There’s still an element that is more rigid, and then a softer, more plume-like part; but whereas the material on the top of the head looks more like quills or dreadlocks, the one on the side of the face is much more feathery or plumage-like. The colored portion has a much greater preponderance relative to the roots which are smaller relative to it, adding the feeling of it being more feather-like as well. This “side plumage” follows the same blue tonality of the one on the head, but perhaps being even more intense, more “full” in color, less see-through. Its color is entirely monotone, meaning, it has one tonality, and it always follows that tonality without variation throughout. The only variation to it is a very slight “rainbow”-like, translucent effect, that can be discernible from up close and from certain angles. One could discern this by looking closely at this feather-like plumage, and then shift one’s back and forth or up and down, to cover different angles; the variation of the angle with which you’re looking at it reveals a soft rainbow-like shine or hue across its surface.

This translucent effect would the more pronounced the healthier and more vibrant the individual would be. It would something that would be extremely subtle and easy-to-miss if you were trying to look for it objectively, yet evident enough to be discernible in an instinctual manner, particularly to the members of the species. It would be something by which one could at a glance assess each other’s health and general state of well-being, even if not necessarily being able to lay one’s finger on it. Noticing someone being unwell through this subtle aspect would be similar to the human version of “you look pale”, “you look tired” etc. Lack of health would translate to this translucent effect being less pronounced, more dull, similar to the human being pale, again not being overly obvious in terms of difference but discernible enough to be noticed instinctively. This humanoid form, biologically, is descendant from animal forms that at one point were able to achieve flight, but as far as I can see this humanoid shape is no longer able to do so. Due to its evolutionary progress, the upper limbs, which in the animal equivalent had served the purpose of being wings, are now arms with hands capable of manipulating the external environment. An increase in upper body weight relative to the early animal forms, namely due to the development of the arms, the upper torso, and the increase in volume of the cranial capacity, meant the physical form had lost the ability to fly long ago.

Despite some similarities and parallels with bird-like features, I am uncomfortable saying they are biologically descendant from birds – at least as we classify animals on Earth. In other words, there wasn’t a reptile-dinosaur-bird ancestry to them. I would say the classification of their evolutionary ancestry in biological terms wouldn’t fit 1-on-1 with the same development as well as classifications of animal life made on Earth. My impression is that this ancestry, in Earth equivalent, would be a combination/mix of bird and mammal: lightweight, airborne-capable animal forms, which had some characteristics we’d call mammalian as well as others that were bird-like, without fitting precisely into either category, at least, again, as we classify them on Earth. Further, I also have the impression that despite their evolutionary process, some of the characteristics from the ancestry weren’t completely ironed out, phased out, of the physiology. One notable aspect ties to the arms. Despite serving functions, namely of manipulation of the external environment, that are more typical for a sentient human-like species, the arms nonetheless retain a strong vestigial connection to the fact they were once wings in a biological past.

Taking as reference the human form on Earth, the arms are disproportionately long and thin relative to the rest of the body, describing something of a line-like shape. The total arm length (ancestrally it was a “wing span”), rather than being a fairly rigid parameter common throughout individuals of the species, is something that can actually vary, sometimes wildly, between any two given individuals, perhaps more so than with any other part of the body. In some cases – this would be valid for individuals in general, but perhaps more prevalent for a few more than to others – in leaning the body slightly forward, bending the arms somewhat, it would not just possible to touch and scrape the ground with the hands, but even walk on all fours, by choice, for a period, by allowing some body weight to shift onto the back on the hands, as they connect with the ground. For comparison, picture of the sort of movement pterodactyls or similar prehistoric flying reptiles on Earth, would describe as they moved on the ground. This comparison is pertinent possibly because the flying ancestry of these beings on this planet did just that: being able to fly, the animals would have described this same sort of motion whenever walking across the ground.

My attention is now directed to the hands, at the end of the arms. The hands have one index and one thumb digit each, or maybe something that is equivalent. I’m unsure how articulate these fingers would be i.e. how much motion they would have; because they feel fairly stubby and rigid, almost made of the similar type of keratin-like substance that was also present in the previous elements. I am reminded of the thumb Pandas have on Earth, which is not actually a “finger” but just an extension of bone that the species use to grab and hold the bamboo sticks on which they feed. I don’t know if in this case here, with these fingers being purely a rigid extension like this; but my main impression is that these two fingers, while making the hands capable of refined manipulation to a degree, this manipulation would nonetheless be relatively awkward and unwieldy, at least when compared to that of a human being on Earth. Further, the rest of the hand, other than these two fingers, is composed of much, much larger “fingers”: extremely long bony structures, with some interdigital webbing between them. These are somewhat articulate themselves – each comprised of multiple segments of bone or equivalent, rather than a single segment – progress forward from the hand, alongside the index, around two to three times past its length, and then curve sharply backwards, in a sweeping curving motion, proceeding from there further backwards, elongated, at length. The shape of these other fingers would, again, be loosely reminiscent of the type of shape a pterodactyl’s wing, bending backwards at the joint, as the animal walked on the ground. In this case, whether the individual would use them to touch the ground or not, these fingers were fixed in this position, namely the “bend” as they curved backwards was not flexible/articulated, it was fairly rigid in shape. The curving they described could flex a little, but it was not articulated and had no further range of motion beyond that. These fingers were therefore a part of the hand that was practically unusable for manipulation – somewhat “getting in the way” of it if you will – biologically speaking playing more of a vestigial role.

Individuals nevertheless could and did use their hands, or their “old wings” so to speak, in capacities that are more typical to sentient beings. The hands were a part of the body that was both capable of manipulation, and was also sensitive, particularly the length of the fingers and any skin between them. They could, for instance, extend their hands and wrap themselves around with them, for a makeshift way to create comfort and warmth (the effect of which depending of how large or small the hands were). The hands were fairly sensitive, and could easily be extended, or “opened” (a little anyway) to pick up on slight changes in air temperature, atmospheric pressure, humidity, and so on, a little like putting out an antenna or opening a “net”, in order to assess the weather.
They also could and would use the upper limbs as an aid for expressing themselves: opening and closing, having them more up or more down, moving them slowly or quickly, enacting on motions akin to “flapping”, any of these could be used as visual aids for communication. This would be something akin to what a human would refer to as “talking with the hands”, in this case perhaps on a larger scale. Meaning, compared to human language, their communication would have a larger proportion of gesturing, to the extent we could refer to it as a combination of more normal or explicit expression (verbal) with, loosely speaking, an integrated component akin to sign language. At this point I’m led to wonder what proportion of their communication is indeed verbal; this isn’t put forth clearly by the reading, but I sense that as much as 60-80% of their communication goes through indirect/subtle/non-verbal queues and other means rather than explicitly.

All in all, the hands were still a capable part of the body and used in a number of various ways; perhaps non-essential, but still useful and complementary. This being said, in taking in the overall biological shape, I’m left with the sensation that the transition between the ancestral animal forms to the more current sentient/humanoid one may have occurred relatively rapidly, as far as biological evolutionary processes go, perhaps more than how much the body was given time and space to fully adjust to sentient life. Note this is purely a neutral observation, without meaning there is a “problem” with this; the biology is practical and adequate to serve the needs of individuals, and for them to enact all the necessary tasks and functions pertaining to their lives. This observation comes primarily from the fact the image presented carries a large component to the biology that seems to be be more vestigial rather than fully suitable for function. I mentioned before how the length of the arms is highly variable from one individual to the next. In addition to this, pertaining to the “fingers” in the hand – the ones that aren’t the index and thumb, but the ones that curve and extend backward – not only is their length is also genetically variable, but their number can also greatly vary between individuals. Some can have as few as three or four of them in each hand, while others could have up to seven, if not more. Overall, by virtue of having this much variation among members of the same species, this carries to me the impression that these components could represent a biology that evolved fairly rapidly, inheriting certain elements of the physical body that register as being less consolidated evolutionary-wise.

1.3 Society

The reading continues to focus on describing some of the elements of this planet and its inhabitants, now moving to a more cultural and spiritual assessment of the society and of the planetary collective as a whole, connecting with some of the elements discussed so far. The first aspect that “pops up” in this regard are the forests, which are regarded nearly as sacred and actively protected and preserved by the society on this planet. These are pristine, densely-packed agglomerations of trees of all sizes, and within them, given they can be so extensive in size, there are various combination of types of terrain: some areas and regions are fairly clear and flat woodland, almost as if you’re standing on an endless flat surface and in every direction you can look is an endless mass of tress and canopy as far as the eye can see; other areas are more akin to moss-covered dense and messy old growth, sometimes growing in such a hilly and rough terrain that it’s almost impossible for anyone to physically move through. Regardless of the type of terrains in them, the forests on this planet create a microclimate or subclimate to them, a little like a “bubble” surrounding and enveloping the perimeter of each contiguous forest area/zone – a bubble that is figurative but also literal.

Within a forest, the weather is noticeably calmer, softer, and tempered; winds are milder, as are temperatures and their variation; and, as stated before and which the reading makes a point of reinforcing, the air quality is extremely high, “through the roof” you could say, to the point one acquainted with other “air qualities” would feel a little like stepping into an open-air oxygen chamber when waking through a forest. The air in them is so crisp and clean that it almost feels tangibly cold to the touch, as previously mentioned. This contrasts somewhat with the rest of the planet’s surface, with its other biomes and areas. While in general not a particularly troublesome planet in terms of its environment on the surface (in terms of storms, extreme cold or warmth, difficult climate, and the like), the rest of the planet’s surface is nonetheless, by comparison with the forests, more barren, harsher, the surface somewhat more exposed to the sun and the elements, and with not as much air quality, or abundance. There is, therefore, a somewhat distinct contrast between the few, naturally occurring forested “zones” on the planet, and the rest of its environment. As a result, throughout the planet’s history the forests were always regarded by the inhabitants as sacred or close to it – not so much in a “religious” way, but more in the sense of being deeply revered; in the sense of existing a conscious and ever-present mindfulness that the forests were a fundamental, priceless, irreplaceable parts of the land and of their lives, not just for the sake of the ecosystem in itself but for the continued existence of the inhabitants. The vast majority of the planet’s population did in fact live within the forested areas, or in their close proximity, given the distinct advantages in terms of living conditions they could naturally provide. Very seldom did individuals spent long periods away from them, and there were very few who didn’t live in their proximity. The closest approximation of this aspect that was common in the collective mindset, would be to say those on the planet had always collectively held a strong conservationist/environmentalist attitude, to the point they didn’t quite have a term describing it. They wouldn’t, for example, refer to these as principles, as “policy”, or as a “movement”; it was just something that was evident and deeply ingrained in the collective mindset, to such a degree they didn’t usually conceive anything that was not it.

Throughout the planet’s history there was always an active, conscious effort to preserve the forests in their natural state as much as possible. And there was no accident to this, as the winged lifeforms from which they had descended had evolved precisely within these woods, having called them home so to speak. So it was only natural for the inhabitants to inherit this perspective, and hold strong reverence for the woods they lived in as well, given how they could acknowledge how precious they were, by virtue of the contrast between them and the land where they were scarce or didn’t exist. To them, the woods were their sanctuary, their safe space, where they could live. They regarded these forests as their sacred home, and they protected them as such. Next, the reading recalls how individuals expressed themselves with one another, and the fact this included a strong component of non-verbal communication. And it now expands on this element, exploring the broader context to it. Individuals are in fact extremely mindful and cognizant of any and all non-verbal queues, demeanor, and general body language, whenever engaging and interacting with each other. They’ve acquired, in part due to their genetics, a strong necessity to connect with and read the other person, not disrespecting their space and privacy, but precisely to fulfill the purpose of respecting the other person, and being in tune to them, whenever any two individuals engaged with one another. Based on any and all both verbal and non-verbal queues, each individual would always aim at being in tune with what the other might think, how they were responding and reaction, and what their disposition was. For comparison, this would be akin to a very throughout and thoughtful form of “reading the room” if you will; which is when you seek to understand not just the verbal language being exchanged, but you try to wrap your mind around the situation that is occurring, in “real time”, by reading the energy and non-verbal nuances, and other non-verbal input, within it; but in this situation, applied specifically to interpersonal interaction, in a gentle and mindful manner, from one individual towards another.

A portion of this ingrained mindset in particular derived, again, from ancestral roots i.e. the winged forms they had evolved from. In that regard. Perhaps quite in bird-like manner, you could say, these had been creatures that engaged in highly ritualized mating procedures, displays, communication, and synchronization with each other, involving things such as gesturing, displays, and color. It was a general behavioral patterning of the preceding animal forms, that had been somewhat inherited and expanded upon as the species later evolved and became sentient. Thus they still retained a strong structural and formal component to their communication, and the intense willingness to use it, when engaging each other. You could say this attribute was part of the language and communication themselves. In practice, you could say the individuals were highly connected with each other by choice, belief, and behavior. In any situation where any two people connected and engaged each other one on one, they’d instantly shift into the mindset of being highly tuned to the other, to their input, as well as any and all gestures, cues, and general demeanor, at all times – being the display and gesturing involving the hands/wings a part of this scenario. Each individual enacted an effort to stay deeply connected with and respectful of the other, at all times, unconditionally, and for as long as the proximity and interaction lasted with them, with no “gaps”, lack of attention, or loosening up that commitment over time. If you allow us the expression, to them it was akin to a religion – not in spiritual terms, but with regards to the unwavering commitment with which they approached this element of their lives. The concept of not doing so virtually didn’t exist.

These standards of respect and connection were so strongly ingrained in the conscious as well as subconscious parts of the self, to the extent they were nearly always mutual and reciprocated, and very rarely did individuals not follow through with upholding them towards each other. This helped cement this habit as an evident collective necessity, as opposed to a matter of variable personal choice. In practice, by virtue of this level of mutual attunement and willingness to really read into and synchronize with another, in a deep and overarching way, this allowed individuals in this collective, on this planet, to be generally capable of establishing extremely deep connections with each other, while also lending a strong sense of, shall we say, background safety in all interactions. From an onlooker’s perspective, one could say any given individual would come from the expectation of others always upholding a strong sense of mutual respect, as if “watching their backs” at all times if you will – even if they themselves would rarely realize so, as there were few opportunities to experience contrast with not doing so. All in all, this meant social interactions were a safe space in a figurative sense, as much as their forests were so in a physical and literal one.

You may be surprised to know this society had next to no technological development. The technological aspect equated to what could be described as a local, handcrafted, “tribal” level, and this remained even as the society evolved over time, including in a spiritually sense.

Shelters were created for sleep and comfort, and general tools and utensils were used for everyday life; but generally speaking these were fairly elementary. It would be the type you’d create and use if you found yourself on an isolated island, and you’d have to make due with the materials you’d find there. There was no such thing as mass production, transportation, electricity, or tools, beyond those that could be crafted from natural materials in one’s immediate vicinity. Any important and more elaborate knowledge and know-how about tool-making or anything else, would typically be shared among individuals, and passed on from one generation to the next. This was only possible, in part, due to the highly sheltered, comfortable, abundant, and safe nature of the natural environment in which they lived. This environment tended to provide all they needed in all regards, and this did not induce a meaningful necessity for changing their ways, developing more elaborate tools, manipulating their environment in a more extensive way (nor did they want to as they intended instead to preserve the environment as much as possible) and/or improving their their ways of life. This aspect was also compounded by the fact that their biology did not lend itself to an elaborate degree of manipulation of the external reality – a reality they were already highly adapted to and comfortable in.

To an inverse proportion to the technological aspect, we’ll say they were an extraordinarily spiritual people. By the same token they almost entirely lacked technological advancement, their societal progress had taken place by evolving almost exclusively in spiritual sense. Note this isn’t an attempt by this reading to push an agenda ”technology bad spirituality good”; this is purely intended as an account of what was, without any intrinsic agenda or judgment of value. The collective on your Homeworld had evolved to be extremely tied, connected, and tuned to their external, pristine, sacred environment, which they did not seek to manipulate or alter but rather protect and live integrated in. This desire for connectivity extended to their interpersonal connections, were they sought to engage each other with unwavering intense attention, and upholding a deep sense of respect, leading to a sense of interpersonal connection that paid deep attention to the subtle and nuanced, and created connections in “total” and complete way. It was, to use a simple term, a way of being that was very connected, shall we say, in all facets of life. As each individual constantly sought to pay attention to and connect with what was subtle, non-obvious, and unspoken, over time this lent itself to the build-up of a deep sense of integration with and respect to both the external environment and others, fostering a sense of collective harmony. Spiritually, this was not so much a matter of belief or faith, but of intrinsic connection i.e. being tuned with the environment, immersed in it, and being tuned to the other, establishing deep connections that paid attention to the subtle and unspoken, and without attempting to control or manipulate. In short, the habits that were natural to them lent themselves to the practice of being in touch: with the varying types of subtle, unseen, and energetic, if you will, aspects of their reality.

It should also be noted that the planet was sparsely populated (even if most lived in and around the forest areas of the planet), enough that it allowed most individuals plenty of space and time to live and be on their own, for most of their lives. Without this aspect, none of the other circumstances would be possible the same way, of course. Generally speaking, individuals would tend to meet and gather in a relatively sporadic manner, often in a ritualistic fashion enacted on occasions circumscribed in time (as opposed to in a continuous manner), taking place under their active, agreed upon, mutual choice. While there’s always specifics and exceptions to such a broad analysis, we’ll say that as a norm, on average. Individuals tended to spend a lot of time on their own, and have a lot of space for themselves; “bumping” into someone by chance or accident was relatively rare. They wouldn’t get lonely out of it. First, because for the purposes of meeting each other, let’s say socially, they could reach and “call” each other from distance, thus being able to engage each other if and when they wanted, even with the relative degree of physical distances between them. On an early stage, this communication could be made from using sounds, echoing and reverberating through the higher levels of the forest canopy (the network of intertwining branches up on the trees); then, on later stages, and as the society developed spiritually, they would come to achieve the same through the “net of energy” the forest naturally provided – in human terms we could probably refer to this as a form of directed through or telepathy. Either way, they could easily reach each other even from relatively long distances – in no small part due to how highly attuned they were, both with each other and with their environment – allowing them to check up on each other, communicate relatively well, and live relatively far apart, only meeting in person on a need/want basis.

Secondly, they wouldn’t get lonely (on average, again a very loose and broad analysis) because such a high degree of connection, on all levels, led them to not experience times – at least not in a sustained manner – where they felt lacking. They were immersed in a providing environment that was safe and comfortable, and where they were welcomed, part of; and when they did meet, it was under a mode of relationship that was so deep and fulfilled, that they were fully satisfied and “filled up” socially, so to speak, resulting in their need for connections and contact being deeply and almost perfectly met. They could, at most, feel things such as boredom, missing close contact temporarily, or maybe have some desire to explore new things and new thoughts; but they did not feel lonely per se; because, essentially and in a manner of speaking, the level of connection of their existence “didn’t let them”. Thus, in terms of dynamics between social interaction and personal space, individuals had something of the “best of both worlds”. During the time an individual was alone, they were able to relatively easily achieve a great degree of individual connection, namely through and to their surrounding environment, which we’ll call spiritual and Nature-based. Then, when they engaged each other one-on-one, they could also able to achieve a similar level of deep connection, now on the interpersonal level. Which was aided by the fact they tended to engage in occasions and periods of time delimited and discrete, allowing them to divert their full energy and attention to establish that level of focused connection when in proximity to each other.

You might wonder how could a society successfully evolve and progress without the aspect of technological advancement or the development of large population centers, for example. Indeed, it is often the case that as a planetary society develops, the two vectors – technology/external and consciousness/internal – tend to accompany and evolve alongside one another. And while at any given point one might overtake the other and gain relative preponderance, it’s nonetheless normal for both to accompany the overall societal development, to some extent.

But, this is not always the case. In reality, it actually isn’t strictly necessary for either technology to develop, or for population to grow and coalesce together in numbers, to have the collective evolve and mature as a society, and spiritually – which is the ultimate purpose embedded in all societal development. In fact, prior to the current cycle of reincarnation on Earth, which has been lasting for roughly 25.000 years, Earth itself has gone through two previous cycles [to my knowledge] of similar duration, where the collective in the physical did not in fact coalesce in large population centers, nor did it form countries, kingdoms, empires, etc. instead living mostly in small-scale, localized, relatively isolated “tribal” arrangements. It was just that in this case, it happened this way of living, for planet Earth and at the time, did not provide for sufficient, effective level of spiritual advancement. And so, in order to promote such advancement for the third cycle, it was decided by the collective there was necessity for the grouping of incarnating individuals in larger-scale settlements, in close proximity and interaction with each other. But in this case, on this planet, that never came to be necessary. The collective evolved spiritually, effectively, without ever developing in a technological or in an “urbanizing” sense. And so it was that their ways of life, and connection, led to a process of spiritual evolution, and eventually, to the spiritual ascension of the society as a whole.

1.4 Evolution

It happens sometimes that the biology of a planet receives intervention by external intelligence, to allow it to develop a biological sentient species, which will allow souled beings to incarnate. It falls outside of the scope of this reading to cover the intricacies by which and by whom this would have been accomplished [this means I didn’t receive this information]. But for the sake of the explanation, we’ll say that this intervention generally takes place on the level of DNA. Typically a more and/or promising species, that might have developed on its own to a relatively advanced biological form, is selected to be taken “to the next level”, which is to say, receiving certain genetic and energetic upgrades which will allow it to not just become intellectually intelligent, but also be able to hold, express, and act upon, the spiritual/metaphysical values of the Soul – which are, broadly speaking, to impulse to Create; to make choices and experiencing the consequences those choices; and spiritually, to seek the Light of the Creator. In theory, evolution of a sentient species on a planet could happen spontaneously, organically, naturally if you will; but the process can and often is greatly expedited by virtue of external intelligence, already holding various DNA blueprints to do so, incorporating those blueprints in the planet’s “code”. This was the case of how it happened on this planet.

The planet had naturally developed primitive groups of avian creatures, with a shape loosely reminiscent of Earth’s pterodactyls. Still in animal form, these had slowly shown early signs of more elaborate intelligence and mental acuity; relatively complex communication, mutual bonding, and assistance; and a relatively elaborate social structure. And these were rising above the tenets of basic survival and instinctive behavior, having adapted to living in a close, harmonious, nearly symbiotic bond with the environment of the planet’s forests. The animals were still capable of flight, but they were now upper-body heavy, and the combination of a higher upper body volume with the safer and peaceful nature of the forest environment, had the species come to spend a greater portion of their time walking along the forest’s floor “on all fours”. In evolutionary terms, they would generally equate to Earth’s apes, like chimpanzees or perhaps gorillas, in the way they lived and communed, and even to some extent how they moved about. It was then this species that received the DNA seeding, and from which the sentient ones had biologically evolved from. Upon receiving this, the beings of this early form proceeded to change and adjust, in biological evolutionary terms doing so relatively quickly, evolving onto the humanoid form and moving to walk upright (or waking upright more). The relative swiftness of this process accounts for the relatively unconsolidated, less genetically “stable” if you will, parts of their biology, namely the structure and function of the upper limbs, previously wings. This progress gave rise to a sentient species of individuals who were highly tuned to each other and their environment, adept at reading each other’s energy beyond the physical, appearance, and words. Like many others across the Universe, around this time this planet was set up as a place for what we’ll refer to as Free Will Tests or Trials, a context the seeding of DNA had been part of. These are Trials that happen as cycles of many years where souled beings incarnate and reincarnate in the physical plane, on a planet, with the objective of undergoing experience, enacting choice within that experience, and eventually rise in awareness, in the process achieving spiritual progress with their cumulative growth, individual and collectively. On this planet, given the biological form was “new” i.e. had just been developed or evolved from animal form, this cycle technically began in the Third Density.

The Third Density is the stage of development of a planetary society where individuals, while sentient and intelligent, do not yet see themselves as part of a broader whole – not just as a collective on a planet but part of the whole “spiritual fabric” of the Universe – and lasts for as long as this condition in perception remains. Eventually, as the society progresses in individual and collective awareness, there comes point when the spiritual nature of reality is ascertained and becomes evident to all members of the collective, at which point it is said they’ve evolved onto the Fourth Density, which is the next stage of societal development. The journey a planetary society undertakes as it evolves through the Third Density can be quite tumultuous, depending on the planet and its experience there. 3D can sometimes be a level of awareness of competition, scarcity, and grievances. The Third Density can bring out the differences between the “me” and the “other”, and have the “us” see the “them” as different, opposing, and adversarial – because the others aren’t acknowledged as part of a whole in equality with the us yet. On this Density, conflict, war, and members and groups of the collective, may be left behind, not looked after or taken care of, and treated to a below-par capacity.

But this society on this planet had a very deep and wide sense of harmony from the get go. They were very bound to Nature and to their special environment, where they felt safe, protected, and provided for, without too much effort or difficulty. Thus they were relatively less prone to undertake the experience of scarcity of resources. They were also very bound and attuned to each other, despite the sometimes large physical distance between individuals – a “far-yet-close” type of interpersonal connections – which led to less tension, less willingness to disconnect from others and see them apart; and thus less need to clash and fight them. It led to a general abundance of personal space and time, reducing the perception of one’s boundaries and space being trespassed and having to be defended; also to an abundance of choice, as this combination of personal space/freedom and attunement with one another, allowed each individual a lot of freedom to manage their personal time and space relatively freely, engaging with others or spending time alone as they saw fit. The third Density can be a lot about competition for resources, not just physical i.e. food, water, land, wealth, etc. but also of a more subtle nature: choice, freedom, sovereignty, power over oneself, etc.. But due to a combination of factors this element of scarcity was much less prevalent for this society, on this planet.

These particular circumstances, namely the abundance of resources, of physical and personal space, the communion with Nature, and a deep connection to each other, also allowed personal boundaries to be easily maintained, and created relatively little space for interpersonal attachment – in a bad “way” i.e. not in the sense of connecting and bonding with another, but also doing so with dysfunctionality, toxicity, excessive closeness and lack of space, as well as leading to the related accumulation of karma, which is the accumulation of unresolved experiences of pain and separation together. The result was that the collective went through its third Density cycles in a fairly seamless manner, with a very low degree of separation and conflict needing to be be processed. Further, the relatively awkward manipulative ability in a physical sense, combined with a relative absence of need to manipulate the environment in the first place, had the effect of reducing the proportion of external manipulation and control in their development, with very little emphasis placed on the notions/concepts such as those involved with taking, getting, using, controlling – and, consequently, of conflict and war. Instead, in an inversely proportional manner, most of the developmental focus occurred inward: in the connection with the environment, with one another, and deeply within on an individual level, a type of focus and endeavor which there was ample time and opportunity for. The natural sensitivity of individuals, coupled with that same sensitivity being somewhat distance-independent, meant that most of the society developed strongly towards the spiritual and at a very fast pace, while at the same time developing next to nothing through technological, “pragmatic” vectors.

For the purposes of their spiritual development, there was never any need, as stated, to coalesce in large population centers. This becomes a necessity only to expedite mutual growth, when that growth is necessary, which was what happened on Earth. The previous 3D cycles on Earth had been of a similar nature to those described on this planet, namely the physical plane being sparsely populated, and individuals living in relatively few numbers in a “tribal” or clan-like fashion. But a relatively low efficiency in spiritual progress of those cycles, with few attaining spiritually graduated status, resulted in the collective spiritually designing for the more recent cycle to contemplate a large portion of individuals incarnating simultaneously, and coalescing together in tows, cities, and large metropolises. While it would provide for a less peaceful, and a more chaotic and less comfortable experience, the purpose of this was to expedite individual growth through a relative “saturation” of interpersonal interactions – to provide more contrast and challenge, more frequently and intensely. But this was never necessary for this planet, where there was substantial and satisfactory spiritual progress occurring in all of the 3D cycles. Each cycle consistently produced a fair, growing number of spiritually graduated individuals, who could then could go on to assist, instruct, and teach the rest for the next cycle, in simple terms becoming “spiritual masters” and teachers for the others. Ultimately, a critical mass of these enlightened individuals was reached, which led the collective to transition to the fourth Density.

1.5 Collective Consciousness

In the latter portions of their progress in 3D, they had become so spiritual, and so attuned to their Natural environment and with each other, that their awareness had begun “fusing”, to the lack of a better term, with the energetic layers of the planet. Every planet in the Cosmos, especially those harboring life, has an energy and a spirit of their own. On Earth, we would refer to this entity as Gaia, or perhaps Mother Nature, for example. This is an energy that envelops the planet and all things in it, and it has a spiritual awareness of its own; to an extent it can be regarded as a cohesive, spiritual entity, in its own right. On this planet, in time, the spiritual sensitivity of the individuals became so developed that their awareness grew to become immersed with the spiritual energy of the planet itself, forming almost as of a “super-collective spiritual consciousness”. It was accessing and working with this mutually shared energy, to which all belonged and were a part of, that for example they were able to communicate with each other over long distances, check on each other, relay messages, share thoughts and needs, and so on. This collection of messages, callings, sharing of insights, requests, and general movement of energy back and forth were much like the neurons of a larger organism, activating and communicating, which had grown to become its own planetary awareness, existing simultaneously with the awareness of each individual. And this aspect carried over as the collective together evolved into the Fourth Density.

This is why on a spiritual level today, you regard yourself as an individual spiritual being, and at the same time, also as one and the same with the planetary spiritual collective you come from, in other words with the spirit and identity of your Homeworld, being able to hold the same level of identification, being an individual but also “being” the collective, simultaneously. The sound/name I received, at this point of the reading, to refer to this planet (could be figurative and symbolic as opposed to literal) is something like Andoria or Pandoria. This name is possibly influenced by the fictional names Andor (Star Wars movies) and/or Pandora (Avatar movies), which portray various elements that could be said to be, loosely speaking, similar to the descriptions here presented. Now, one of the things that often happens as a collective steps onto the Fourth Density, is that they’ll often rise in awareness to the same “level” of that of other civilizations throughout the Cosmos also inhabiting the same Density. And, as a result, they’ll meet each other, eventually. In other words, graduating to the Fourth Density often is accompanying with being introduced to extraterrestrial (or non-planetary in this case) life. It was the case here. But how did this happen if they did not have develop any technology, did not create spaceships, and otherwise did not have any means to travel to or communicate with other planets?

As they evolved through the third Density, their original sensitivity and affinity with the surrounding environment only grew deeper, and it expanded over time. They became ever more aware of the nature and energy around them, which they already revered and protected, their cognizance of it eventually developing and evolving up to the point it was so tangible they regarded it as evident, rather than in a figurative sense as a matter of faith. Within that field of cognizance, they could access each individual member of the collective, whom they could reach through that continuum of energy. And as they approached the Fourth Density, this connection to the energy allowed their perception/cognizance through this field to coalesce more and more. They could see how each individual was made of spiritual energy; that this spiritual energy was eternal as opposed to the just the physical bodies they were in; and that the broader energy field also had an independent and sovereign awareness of its own. Then, as this perception grew over time, they began realizing this same spiritual energy, which was a continuum, ultimately it didn’t exist isolated in a vaccum; it didn’t reach a point where it stopped and ceases to be. Rather, in itself it belonged to a broader horizon, a broader context, extending far beyond their planet, out into a vast dark sea – this “sea”, in a tangible sense, equating to the physical Cosmos itself.

Eventually, by the same token that they could ascertain by an ever growing degree the spiritual energy of their planet, pinpoint themselves and communicate with each other within it, and even through it grasp the nature of the Infinite/God – there was a point where, in connecting to the “great out there“, they started to be able to ascertain more… the same thing – but with others. They started peering into the horizon, onto the broader sea of energy in the vast endless void. And they slowly began being able to realize there were there more others, more souls, more individuals, and more groups, in that same sea, connected by it. And over time they could better identify, then connect with, then eventually communicate, with them. They began engaging, now not amongst themselves, but others as well, who were out there. They could do so well before actually seeing them. Ultimately, a call, collectively concerted, was made. Upon which contact with these others was answered. This was how this collective came to be accepted as a part of, what you could call, the collectives of spacefaring societies in the Cosmos, despite never developing their own space travel themselves. Some individuals of the planet even became members of multi-background groups traveling across the Cosmos in spaceships, you being one of them.

Part II: Energy

2.1 Empath

The reading at this point will seek to establish a bridge between what was described until now, and inner/personal characteristics that might exist in the present moment. Part of this effort will be speculative, where as the reader I’m assessing the energies I’m shown, extrapolating how they could manifest, be present, and influence the reality of this lifetime. The purpose of this is so that you may attest the validity of the information and deepen your understanding of yourself and your reality, namely those that may be involved and/or related to what’s discussed. Keep in mind that despite any and all input presented here, ultimately you’re the one who will best be able to establishing connections between the reading’s information, and your personal reality.

The first thing I want to say is that you come from a spiritual background where individuals were not just extremely connected at all times, but are also adept at “reading the room” whenever they are. That is to say, they’re able and willing to connect, read, and “immerse” themselves with an energy they encounter and find themselves in – this could be a figurative, as in finding oneself in a given situation in life; literal, as in walking into a room and assessing and/or feeling into the energy there; or otherwise something that might hold true, to some extent, whenever engaging with others and their energies. The spiritual background that was described is extremely vivid, in the sense it’s felt as very recent – in fact it feels as if no time ever went by, and it’s very much still active, for all effects and purposes with Helen on a spiritual level regarding herself as a being from her Homeworld. And so I would assume Helen would display qualities and values related to this background. For instance, when engaging others, Helen may be very willing to do so with intensity, perhaps in a relatively formal, mindful, attentive manner, where she seeks to put forth all of herself to the other person while (unconsciously) expect an equivalent, reciprocal, matching willingness from them. This would be a reminiscent, or a “momentum” if you will, of how she would have evolved as a spiritual entity on her planet, being connected with others instantly, and focusing all of her attention to them whenever in each other’s close proximity and presence, with an incredible depth of connection, intensity, and respect between them.

Alternatively and/or cumulatively, I envision Helen very much as an empath: someone who can very easily, almost instantly, become energetically connected to whatever situation she steps into, and/or with those around her, even if she hadn’t consciously chosen so i.e. with this happening by default. Here this term encompasses the aspect of connecting to others to feel what is external in a manner that’s more clear and vivid than what a person would otherwise be expected to feel. I wouldn’t say necessarily this is about the feeling or choice for “empathy”; rather it is much more an affinity, and possibly an automatic-like mechanism, by which Helen is inherently sensitive to the energies around her and of others. This sensitivity is in energy primarily; but it may also include a large proportion of non-verbal layers to the way individuals exchange energy and communication between themselves. On certain occasions Helen might find herself leaning into, and/or being affected by, any and all non-verbal queues, gestures, actions, and otherwise unspoken and implicit demeanor from others; the impact these elements could have would possibly be both inadvertent (in the sense she might not have chosen to read the room, it “just happens”), and also with a weight that bypasses the conscious understanding of the mind. In other words, one possibility is for Helen to have adopted this kind of affinity for herself, meaning, she would understand and be adept at reading others and their energies, and would choose to do so on her own volition; but another possibility is that the energy of others, as well as all of their spoken and unspoken demeanor, perhaps simply by proximity, will have a strong impact in Helen’s own energy, without her necessarily realizing so, wanting it to happen, or comprehending how that works in the first place.

This sensitivity likely wouldn’t apply just to her immediate proximity, but both a) in general, pervasive to her life, and b) pertaining to the energy of planet Earth at large. So Helen could find herself reacting (adversely) to the aspects of planet Earth, its society, and its interpersonal connections, on all levels of scale, particularly those that are disharmonious, heterogeneous, and dissonant, as these will generally contrast greatly with the sheer levels of harmony, safety, connection, and also detachment, prevalent in her spiritual reference. Helen might find she can’t help but care and be mindful of the external, perhaps even experiencing distress, anguish, and suffering, on behalf of others and of the world at large. She might find that it’s especially hard for her to disengage and disconnect – save, perhaps, if she manages to find herself totally alone, which might make it easier doing so, even if perhaps only marginally, for a limited duration. From this, it derives that topics such as boundary definition and maintenance, management of distance, time, and attachment, and separation of responsibility (who’s accountable for what, what am I not responsible for, as well as “tough love” teaching, etc.), to name a few, may be prime areas for personal growth and lesson, if nothing else purely from the contrast between this world and the references held within. I do not feel protected, my back covered, so how do I react? There’s no space or time for me to be me, so do I go along and adapt and adjust to what others expect, or do I disengage but watch others succumb to what I regard as confusion, doing nothing to help? Should I stay, or should I leave? These would be the kinds of questions, immediate or philosophical, that might be involved in the lessons about boundaries, of a sensitive self whose standards are of perfect safety and communion with others.

The types of lessons involved with this line of questioning, and the choices made for them, will serve the purposes of seeking to be sufficiently well-adjusted to this society, as well as the spiritual evolution of the self, as there was very little learning in this regard through the course of the Homeworld’s evolution. This is, in part, the spiritual reason why you are on Earth: necessity of spiritual progress. This is a matter we’ll expand more further ahead into the reading; but the general assessment is that you come from an experience that was purely and supremely harmonious and of total connection, one where you could live and be in perpetual connection, that is to say, 100% engaged at all times: when alone, with yourself and all of the surrounding reality; and when in proximity of another, in full connection with them. But now, and as you bring with you this memory/reference and your ability to connect, you find yourself in a world that is potentially tumultuous; in a society where the least common denominator is often a viable choice, can take precedence, and sometimes even hold power; and further, where lots of people band together and live jam-packed in close proximity. And where you largely feel unsafe, that you don’t have “your back covered”. You brought with you this intensity, this ability to always be connected, but as a result you may often find yourself vulnerable to the overloading of stimulus, noise, drama, and their loudness/volume, with no safe, “sacred” spaces to go to when overwhelmed – worse, in a society with no consensus on the relevance, importance, or maintenance of safe spaces – and largely prone to experiencing a prevalent, inescapable lack of safety, lack of boundaries, lack of clarity, and with no easy or discernible way to disengage. With no true safe space to fall back to, Helen is likely by this point immersed in a major depth of spiritual fatigue and burnout; further, since the only known safety is in the recollection of the inner reference, this could leads Helen to a tendency to retreat unto herself, in some way.

In the inexorable spiritual effort involved in existing in, and adjusting to, this world, there are two guidelines to be followed. The first one is of acceptance: I am an empath, it next to impossible for me to disengage, and therefore it is bogus to try to “change” or “fix” the way my inner workings and mechanisms function. The second one is of management: knowing I am this way, and that this inexorably carries an aspect of lesson simply by virtue of existing here, I actively own and manage my own time and space, so that within reason I create and manage safe spaces and moments, as well as shielding and protecting my energy, to the best of my ability. It’s in this aspect of management that lies the movement of spiritual progress.

2.2 Unsafe Environment

From the background spiritual reference, most likely the archetype that is abided by in terms of what would be ideal for relationships, in particular romantic but possibly also applicable otherwise to some extent, would be a conciliation of moments of deep connection and flow, achieved in states of pure solitude unrestricted in time, interspaced by other moments, delimited in time, where a deep connection with another is achieved and maintained in full focus and intensity. In this archetype, both moments are clearly defined and alternated, based in full agreement and mutual understanding, which would imply a deep sense of actively, willingly, upheld mutual respect. This was the archetype that was possible, ideal, and that became ingrained, as the self spiritually evolved in their Homeworld. In contrast, on Earth these standards are not upheld. On Earth, these standards can only ever not be met, and individuals in general do not contemplate them in interpersonal connections and relationships. On Earth, whatever standards for boundaries, safe spaces, and solitude that an individual has chosen or by choice committed to uphold, will inevitably not be as high, deep, or intense, as those that are contemplated in this reference.

Instead, for Helen, not just on this lifetime but in her history of reincarnating, the most likely scenario that would take place in virtually all situations where any individual or group is engaged, interacted with, and/or she becomes involved in a connection with, for whatever purpose, type, and duration, is one where a strong contrast arises between what the standards of the other is and the self’s are. The other will not be as diligent in preserving their own personal boundaries and space – nor do so for Helen with whom they’re engaging – perhaps not acknowledging the importance of safe and personal spaces, or even the existence of the idea itself. The other will consequently tend to “walk over” the lines and demarcations that would be ideal for Helen, realizing it or not. For Helen, the experience in practice (as, again, may not be entirely understood consciously) amounts to one of trespassing and disrespect. Of course, it may be made worse if it is enacted by the other person out of a confrontational, adversarial intention; but it may still apply if the person does so only inadvertently, by accident and/or without realizing they’re doing so. The perception of one’s space/energy/time being able to be trespassed at any time, outside of a connection and deep commitment to respect mutually upheld, creates a perpetual background sense of lack of safety as well as of complete unpredictability. What is evidently sacred to the self, others are only partially aware of, if not entirely oblivious to. And this largely makes the self feel unsafe, as well as choiceless and powerless to uphold their standards, in the sense it’s difficult to do so while holding some level of agreeability, in a setting where no one else does not share or relate to, and may not even be able to comprehend them.

The nature of Earth’s overall setting then compounds on this effect. Not only is this setting not-as-harmonious as the spiritual Homeworld, but on top of it it’s one where there’s a much larger amount of collective contrasts, dissonance, discrepancies, and where not everyone is equally invested in a personal process that is of constructive growth. Further, individuals can even be prone if not even encouraged to trespass on other’s boundaries, disrespect others, actively operate outside of integrity, and hold a confrontational attitude, sometimes even with malicious intent. So if even as the particular nature of interpersonal relationships would be challenging to begin with, as standards that are sacred to the self are not and cannot, virtually speaking, be met, the overall nature of society in general may then up this perception by creating a background scenario where the self further feels unsafe and overwhelmed, and with no clear safe spaces of connection to gather, to go, or to retreat to. This also plays with the previously mentioned difficulty with disconnecting from the outside and from the world at large, exacerbating a type of suffering that already happens through energetic resonance with the setting, in a “sympathetic” way, if you will.

2.3 Disconnection

Due to the general feeling of lacking standards and mutual respect in most interpersonal connections, short and long-term, as well as an overall lack of safety, Helen has come to see the proximity of others (including physical proximity in a literal sense i.e. presence and distance) as equating to disconnection. When sharing space, time, and energy, it is impossible to enact that “pendulum” movement of alternating between deeply alone and deeply connected; instead the context of a connection with another (and other any groups in general, as one would have in a social context, at work, etc.) transforms into a mush: there’s little opportunity or agreed/acknowledged justification to be be on one’s own; personal boundaries become muddled if not outright nonexistent; decisions might be shared, but without the deeply intense consideration for the other, and of the other towards the self, that the references the self holds would otherwise dictate; others might occupy one’s choices, freedom, and spare time. And so the result is feeling without freedom, without choice, without time, and without the ability to think clearly and think out of one’s own mind. In the Homeword, one’s time spent alone isn’t simply about playing, or minding one’s business: it’s about spiritual connection. Out of this depth of connectivity with with the fabric of reality, if you will, there was ample space and time to connect, and stay in a state of connection. This connection brings clarity and knowing; the space is safe and sacred because it allows the Light to be present, making all things clearer and more apparent; not to mention the sense of bliss and peace deriving from that experience. In simpler terms, you could say one “is closer to God”, in a manner of speaking. And in the space of relationships in the Homeworld, the state of connection was similar and equivalent, with one’s energy and attention fully devoted to the other being, sharing a deeply spiritual connection also, this time with them.

But on Earth, because the space of interpersonal relationships has come to be associated with disconnection, the precise opposite is experienced. First, there’s a contrast between being alone and being in the proximity of another; even on Earth, the former can still nonetheless replicate somewhat, be reminiscent of, the spiritual references of connection within, and therefore still hold some form of peace and solitude, in a way the latter cannot provide. Secondly, the combined perceptions of boundaries being, and not be anything other than being ignored; mutual respect and dedication not being upheld in an ideal and/or reciprocal manner; the fact the other person is not intrinsically committed, or is not as committed, to seek stay and maintain their own spiritual connections within themselves and then bring that connection onto the relationships shared space; and the relative lack of opportunities for withdrawal to a safe, solitude, detached space (combined with the already existing lack of ability to do so out of being empathetic, as described) – these result in the space of relationships being fertile for experiencing confusion and lack of clarity, feeling states of tension and anxiety, being overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities, and generally feeling suffocated, as if without being able to breathe or see clearly, figuratively speaking.

This difficulty could and would manifest and have different effects of varying nature. One of them would relate to operationalization. Here, in this reading and in the context of this explanation, the word “operationalization” is to be interpreted as the act of converting abstract/immaterial thought, intention, and/or creative insight, into something that is visible and/or tangible in the external space. So this can apply to any action that expresses or creates something – that could in theory be ascertained by another person if they witnessed it – and it would including things such as communication and expression, organizing and carrying out daily tasks either important or menial, navigating and adjusting to new and emergent situations in life, putting out creative output (writing, painting, playing music, etc.), organizing one’s day and following through with it, reaching objectives and milestones at work, both short and long-term, and so on and so forth.

My impression is that operationalization, currently or at least at some point in the long-term spiritual journey and reincarnation past of the self, will already have been a topic of challenge to begin with. In the self’s background there was an almost 100% preponderance of evolution in a spiritual/inner sense, but very little in the sense of manipulating, interacting, and enacting change on the external world and environment. In other words, it would have not come naturally to the self, initially at least, the prospect of engaging and interacting with the outside world in a practical manner, in any way. In the long-term process by which the self evolved and matured spiritually, until their graduation/ascension to the Fourth Density, the Homeworld simply did not foster the exercise of outward manipulation: the biology of the species did not account for it anyway, and individuals were in practice, due to their circumstances, encouraged to go deeply within, while discouraged from engaging outwardly in a practical, operational manner. As a result, from the simplest tasks that could involve using tools in a more elaborate fashion, to the most broad-level considerations involving wrapping one’s mind around practical situations, problem-solving, learning how to deal with practical situations of the day-to-day, there is likely to be an intrinsic point of challenge, if nothing else, simply out of a relative sense of unfamiliarity with it. As such, nothing else considered, this would already likely be a point of challenge to begin with. But the presence/proximity of others will dial this element up to eleven. As the self finds themselves blocked and disconnected, deprived of freedom, space, and time, purely out of being in the presence of others, this disconnection will then become “applied” to any tasks at hand that will require the aforementioned operationalization. At points, this may turn things that already look challenging and difficult into insurmountable obstacles.

Your mileage may vary. I wouldn’t precisely know how this may be experienced, or how intensely; but I postulate it could potentially be so deep and intense so as to have the self feel they’ve been completely deprived of, to a lack of better words, the energy to do things. It may feel almost as if the tap that runs the water (energy) of movement and action seemingly was shut off, with nothing whatsoever coming out of it. Possibly also leading the self to ardently desire more space and time for themselves, and/or that others leave their vicinity, so they can concentrate, wrap their mind around the subject at hand, and think things through. The reading at this point comes with indications that aim to assist this particular matter to the extent that it is valid and applies. These indications could relate to any arena and situation where this difficulty is experienced, aiming and ameliorating the ability to navigate and operationalize in the external environment. These may be useful if you feel stuck and at an impasse at anything work and professionally-related – particularly in any scenario where you’re working from home and/or managing your own time – as well as helping you cope with the proximity of others. The presence of others will likely always have a blocking or disconnecting effect, to some extent; these indications are not meant to “solve” that i.e. make it completely go away, but rather as ways by which you may be able to offset that effect and function more effectively.

If you’re in a situation where there’s a task/objective you need to fulfill but you feel overwhelmed by it, the first thing you need to do is stepping out of the situation. You need to get away from those around you, work associates and peers, and/or family, etc., possibly get out of the space – or have others leave so as to find a period of time alone on your own. By doing so, you’ll need to have some time to yourself, possibly to clear your mind and detach from the problem and scenario. The fact of the matter is that the presence of others will likely act as a strong factor that destabilizes and blocks you, with particular impact on things you might already be challenging. So you’ll need to account for that, and find a time to be alone, relax, and regroup. This time ideally must not be too restrictive; it might not be enough to only take five to escape for a minute while having to have to go back to the situation right after. You’ll need to have more ample space and time on your own, one that gives you enough of an opportunity to calm down and order your thoughts, and preferably one that you then choose to leave on your own accord if possible. This space will naturally tend to lend you more calm and peace, and more clarity.

Out of this space and time, your goal is to come up with a game plan. You are to wrap your mind around the task, and come up with a way, on your own accord, to tackle the situation once you go back to it. How to engage and address it, how to accomplish it, how to navigate a problem, how to go about to reach its goals. This plan doesn’t necessarily need to be too elaborate; there’s no need for you to fully understand all of the workings of the Universe in their most minute detail. All you have to do is feeling you’ve figured out how to go about the situation to tackle it, what steps to take to do so, and in which order. Write them down if you have to; write them in bullet points if you have to. The plan alone will lend you calmness and grounding; it will have you feel you’ve figured out what to do. And it will help you remain more calm, in control, and engaged, once you step back into the situation and resume the task. When you’ve got to grips with what you want and need to do in the situation, you’re ready to step back into it. Back in the situation, the plan you designed may require change as things unfold and the situation progresses. But even if you have to change or reformulate the plan, the fact you came up with it to begin with, means you’re now more in tune with the situation – you went back to your inner connection to do so. This will allow you to address the situation much better on the fly, even if you have to change and adapt, even if you have to improvise or reformulate what you had planned – because it’s your plan. You might even find yourself performing most of the work just making the plan itself, which, if the situation allows it and you permit, could greatly facilitate the process at hand.

What you’re aiming when performing the task, is to accomplish it as efficiently, powerfully, and quickly as possible, and then immediately step out of it when you accomplish it. After completing the task or objective that were in front of you and you needed to accomplish, leave them for the day. Do not aim at working “X amount of hours”, or subscribing to arbitrary measurements of how much or how long you must/should work – these notions by which work and time are quantified are completely dissonant from how you function, and should be discarded completely if at all possible. The clarity you brought from your personal time will lend you a moving, pushing force that you must use to accomplish the task successfully and succinctly. So the task you initially feared and thought would take 7 or 8 hours and felt overwhelming to you, might be accomplished in 2 hours instead. Let it. Allow it to “only” last only 2 hours, and congratulate yourself for being more efficient than expected. Don’t try to do more. Don’t try to fill the space If you work for just 2 hours and leave the rest of the day to do nothing, do nothing for the rest of the day, and be happy that you can do so. This is how you’ll build a sense of trust, in that you’re allowing yourself to work how you naturally work, conquering objectives in a way that is adjusted to you.

In the long run, what you’re aiming for is to establish a dynamic where you interspace short/brief/burst periods of intense work, with broader periods of detachment, relaxation, and clarity, with the former possibly even being shorter and more intense than the former. This way you achieve moments where you work with due intensity and due diligence, and then moments of adequate and complete detachment when you relax, distance yourself from the task at hand, and obtain peace and clarity, as it is natural to. Do you notice the pattern? Your aim is to be able to interspace moments of complete connection and commitment to work, with moments of complete disconnection and detachment, and connection within instead. This is how you’ll be most productive, and be able to achieve a life routine that best mirrors and suits you and your essence. Finally, you have to do this dividing larger projects and/or goals into smaller, achievable tasks, and set out to accomplish one at a time. Energy occupies space: don’t dismiss the burdening effect that holding in consideration multiple matters, tasks, objectives, and responsibilities might have for your energy. This is not simply about “pacing yourself”, it it about operating within the limits of what you can and can’t do, taking them seriously. If something you’re considering doing (this task A, then task B, then this other task C) is overwhelming for you, then postpone C or even B if it helps – even if in theory an hypothetical person would be able to handle and think over both/multiple things i.e. “multitask”. Respect the fact contemplating C and B might overwhelm for your energy, and act accordingly, by taking on one at a time, or as few as you’re comfortable with, and it’s possible for you to do so.

2.4 Charge

Proximity to others equating to disconnection, can have another, different type of effect. The spiritual references within equate relationships to the deepest form of connection, harmony, and consequentially, love. These were a way to share the deepest possible bond between two individuals: by the way they each reach and connect with Infinity, or with the Divine if you will. In this reference, relationships where the deepest possible way of experiencing love. On Earth, over the experiences of reincarnating here, there was a build-up of a type of spiritual/emotional/energetic charge that was accumulated specifically within the scope of interpersonal connections, and relationships. This charge may apply to all types of connections, to some degree, as all relationships can be intense, and a gateway to love and to the Divine, each in their own way. But it may perhaps in the connections that can in theory wield the deepest and most intense forms of connection where the charge is proportionally built-up, which would be romantic relationships. If in the inner reference the interpersonal is a space of immense respect and love, and elsewhere the experience can only be lesser, and equate to forms of disconnection instead, then in those circumstances relationships might have come to be associated with disrespect, lack of freedom, and absence of love, and lead to blockages that are associated to these elements.

In all respects, but with particular emphasis in the interpersonal, Earth is a severe contrast with the references from the Homeworld. On Earth, not everyone is well-meaning or good-natured (or, the same person might not always be guaranteed to be so); not everyone is willing to be respectful, or willing to engage and connect; not everyone is fully committed to establish the deepest, most loving relationships possible and give all of themselves to it; individuals can and will often disengage and break away from the relationship, at any time. On Earth, even within mutually chosen and deeply committed relationships, individuals may often be acting on their own agenda rather than on behalf of the partner’s interests. Mind you, one’s agenda could in theory be in alignment with the partner and with the best interests of the common greatest good of each and of the relationship. The issue in practice is that it often won’t be so: when having an agenda of their own, it will often be a selfish one, in the sense that one partner aims at following the self’s wants not taking into account the best interests of the other. Further, on Earth, and perhaps especially more so for women, saying “No” will in practice often not matter, or not be a path of least resistance, if doing so will then imply a price/toll to be paid afterwards, a heavier burden to carry, and/or a confrontation and fight, and more energy that needs to be expended for doing so, than simply allowing the otherwise unwanted situation. What will be the least energy taken away by the situation that presented itself and won’t leave? Quite often it will be accepting it! And so the unwillingness of the other in respecting the self and being open to accepting their “No” in and of itself makes for a highly constrictive environment that doesn’t allow the self full freedom of movement and of choice, and it can happen even outside established relationships, not to mention within them.

What’s more, on Earth, even if and when you dare to allow yourself appear more free, more joyous, more enthusiastic and energized, cue someone right away coming along and saying or acting along the lines of: oh, you are happy? You have energy to spare? I need you to do this/I have this issue I need help with/it’s not fair because I’m not well/it’s your fault/etc. On Earth, you’ll feel your own energy is not entirely yours, as it can often be claimed by another at every opportunity, or have expectations and demands placed upon it which essentially leads to the same thing. More and more situations that won’t want to leave, and came to occupy the space, will seem to present themselves. All of these things compound with the feeling of being heavily restrained and limited in proximity with others, a well as unsafe (without safe space) as you never know when your spare energy and time will be taken over by others. On Earth, relationships often aren’t spaces of freedom – valid in general for all individuals, and perhaps with egregious emphasis for women. Relationships have all of these layers of attachment to them (as in, non-free binding connection) that contribute to entangle the self; and yet, at the same time they can also provide the most heartbreaking experiences as even within said attachment individuals can break the bond at any time, doing so without mutual agreement or harmonization – the will of the individuals in the relationship may will often become mismatched, in ways that just wouldn’t happen within the deeply connected and harmonious setting of the Homeworld, where even increasing distancing and farewells would come out of mutual understanding, and would be perfectly understood and foreseen mutually i.e. you’d “see it coming” as it happened.

Earth can often an extremely convoluted, disconnected place in this particular regard; and this generates confusion, as opposed to clarity. On Earth, the disconnection can obscure one’s vision, acting like a “fog” that make events occur suddenly and unexpectedly, which can create a degree of mistrust and unsafety to relationships, in an overall setting of experience that already carries these values to begin with – if not perhaps even blocking the love and connection themselves. The existence of disconnection within relationships may directly equate to a shortage if not complete absence of love. So the aspect above would have already be difficult to begin with, as you’d be prone to feeling a) disconnection as well as experiencing lack of love in relationships in some way, and b) also be prone to feeling breakups, betrayals, and separation, in particularly excruciating ways. These experiences of the Earth plane are already quite difficult to handle for anyone to begin with; but happening to a strongly empathetic self, with a mode of operating that is of intrinsic, perpetual connection, and who grew as a spiritual entity in a realm of pure harmonic values, within a setting where they would always feel different from everybody else, these were particularly, well, horrible to live through. This is one part of this charge.
But then, a paradoxical aspect also enters the equation: and this is, that you’d often find yourself groveling for love of others; trying to adapt and adjust to them, and serve and please them, to the maximum of your ability.

Because you operate out of profound and determined connection, and not being fully committed to a connection would not be something you can do, because spiritually you’d be giving up on yourself and your own essence if you did, and you’re not willing to do so (in fact, any and all advice you might have received from others in the line of “you shouldn’t care as much” in order to not simply does not apply, as this is not who you are).

Because you are perpetually engaged and connected to the outside, and you wanted to adjust, be accepted, be part of the whole, and so you always try to adapt and seek harmony – in this context to the other person.

Because you were trying to avoid, as far as you could, the immeasurable pain and hurt that could come from (in your eyes unexpectedly) the other person giving up on the connection. Note that the same situation would be comparatively easier in the off-chance the initiative for leaving the relationship would come from you, as then you were at least connected to that possibility/reality, by virtue of this falling on your agency.

Because in a relationship you would always inevitably feel that the other person would never be able to match the same level of intensity, commitment, engagement, attention, willingness to respect, and love, that you were offering; and as a consequence, in order to just be able to be heard, considered, valued, paid attention to, even in small-scale, daily circumstances such as speaking to the other person, holding a conversation, feeling you were remembered whenever not present, etc. you would find yourself having to fight and/or plead the other person for the level of standards of these things that you felt you were offering, needed, and were lacking.

So even in the circumstance of being, to an extent, loved, respected, and acknowledged, you would still always have a residue/remnant of these things, because virtually speaking no other human would be capable of matching the references you have within of connection. This perpetual propensity to feel unloved, one’s level of engagement towards another not being matched by them to the end, un-reciprocated, together with the difficulties i) with another’s proximity that brings blockages, and ii) to operationalize – possibly leading to a relative discomfort and panic in dealing with many situations in the physical life, and often finding yourself in need of help, assistance, support, guidance i.e. proximity – and there would be a recipe for being perpetually pleading for love, an amount of love that inevitably was difficult to come by; and to always find yourself in a weak negotiating position when engaging with others. When sitting at the “relationship negotiation table” on Earth, trying to care constantly, trying to please constantly, will often mean you have the hand of cards of less value, resulting in exposing yourself even more to the things you were trying to avoid.

This effort to be loved and gain love, done out of a place of a vulnerability, would always place you operating from a weak and frail negotiating position, and would lead you to be inversely proportionally fuel ALL of the previous patterns, making you MORE prone, not less, to experience and delve deeper in them. You would be able to maintain less boundaries for yourself; you would have less time, space, and room for yourself; consequently you would have less clarity, feel more lost and unaided, and prone to be more blocked from external presence; you would feel less valuable, and consequently in your experience you would find less love and/or be less loved; you would be (even) less able to disconnect, disengage, and be less free, and consequently be less able to foster detachment. The end result being prone to falling MORE in systems of attachment – as in, “sticky” emotional/energetic bounds and chords without clear interpersonal boundaries, where the responsibilities and energies of one fall on the other, where true closure and peace are rare and ineffective, and where karmic attributes often arise and endure for many lifetimes. Throughout your journey of past-lives on Earth, this pressed on all existing patterns and lead to worsening them. Emotions of pain, suffering, and also guilt, low self-worth, etc. would have helped consolidate and solidify this built-up charge, that can now be present, active, pervasive, throughout the arena of interpersonal relationships, possibly with especial emphasis on the romantic type.

2.5 Patterns

It is difficult for me to pinpoint exactly how this charge would manifest in this lifetime. There is a component to it that is pervasive i.e. always in the background, and therefore could subtly always be present, and be more or less noticeable depending on how intensely it is felt. Alternatively and/or cumulatively, it could also be something that activates or “triggers” should certain circumstances be met, namely and specifically in this case with regards to interpersonal connections and romantic relationships. Further, I feel that any sort of experience of rejection, embarrassment, failure, admonishment, and/or maybe acquisition of behaviors and beliefs from authority figures in youth such as parents, if impactful enough and playing “wrongly” with this charge, may have amplified it, bringing it more out of a “subtle” status and onto something more noticeable, intense, and/or impactful. I will nonetheless extrapolate, mentioning a few examples of how this charge could manifest. Note, again, you are ultimately the one who’ll be able to tell which of the following, if any, will apply, and to which extent they do.

One possibility would be for you to lose track of your feeling of love i.e. to have the perception that you stop feeling, or that you don’t feel enough, once you formally enter a relationship, and/or after a certain type of event that triggers this.

You could be perpetually feeling suffocated, out of time and space, when in the relationship with another; possibly feeling they’re invading and taking over your time, choices, and agency; and possibly experience a growing urge to leave it all behind and break the relationship yourself in order to escape this feeling, in a fight-or-flight mindset that will trigger and may further tend to block any more subtle emotions of love, empathy, compassion, patience, understanding, etc.

You could be exceptionally sensitive and prone to intensely feel all moments of rejection or criticism; possibly any kind of moment that can vaguely be construed as a critique, admonishment, or rejection, will be interpreted as critical instances of lack of love, that the other person is about to give up on you, and that you run the risk of being completely abandoned, akin to rejection sensitive dysphoria.

You could deal poorly with another taking the initiative and making decisions or suggestions affecting you, as opposed to acting upon something you yourself decided. This is due to the fact you may feel obliged to obey and be agreeable (or you are unable to) rendering you feeling powerless regarding any initiative they may take, particularly if it goes against your wishes.

You’ll likely have to some extent adopted the patterning of “being nice” to others. Within the context of this explanation, being nice is different to being kind: the latter is a conscious choice born of sensitivity and wisdom acquired from past past experience, often adverse; the former is a coping mechanism enacted out of a desire for self-protection – the difference being one is a bearer of wisdom while the other isn’t. Being nice, meaning being agreeable and adjusting to the desires and expectations of others, would be something adopted out of a context of feeling unsafe, of a desire to obtain that safety i.e. if you like me, I’ll belong and therefore be safe. However this modality is often a prison, as the self’s actions and behavior need to be decided entirely in function of the other’s perspectives rather than of the self’s, which of course greatly compounds with the experience of being suppressed and limited by the presence of others. And the later movement of rebelling against limitations imposed and/or experienced will have felt liberating, especially, in part, because a significant portion of this pattern was being released and abandoned.

Being inexorably, perpetually connected with the external, yet (and seemingly paradoxically) prone to feeling disconnected/blocked from the proximity of another, with great difficulty to disengage and without clearly available safe spaces to fall back to, there’s the possibility of being perpetually exhausted and fatigued, animically with very low levels of energy, and perhaps easily falling into emotional burnout and overwhelmed states, simply out of a saturation of being exposed to the energy of others, particularly those you have relationships with, share your space and life, etc – further, any guilt/shame for bearing this type of burden, without really being able to understand or explain it properly, will only add to this tiredness.

Adding to the above, possibly feeling that the standards of others (of self-worth, beliefs, parameters of consciousness, parameters of respect and commitment, discernment, etc) are sub-par, which would further dissuade you from the possibility of detaching from them (perpetually or momentarily), out of the perception they’d not be able to fare for themselves and need to be “saved” – further adding to the sense of attachment to, difficulty to disconnect from, and consequently feeling trapped and weighted down by, them. You could have a low self-esteem that leads you to settle for sub-par or lesser forms of love that do not really represent who you are or what you feel you should be worth, which would press an the above mechanisms, and lead you to wish to leave the connection.

The inverse could also be true: rather than being the subject of what is described above, you could be, or may at points have been, the partner of someone displaying and reflecting these characteristics back to you. For example, rather than leaving on pondering on leaving, you’re the one on the other end of the equation, being rejected out of not enough love, for example. Most if not all what was described above and in this reading are tenets of challenge that exist in your spiritual lessons and background, and so there’s any number of ways by which they could manifest in your experience, being you the origination or on the receiving end of them.

Alternatively and/or cumulatively it could be possible that the characteristics, traits, and challenges, that exist subtly within are held more intensely by children or someone under Helen’s care, which would give her the opportunity to both have these traits reminded to her and reflected back to her through another, while presenting an opportunity to instruct, guide, steer another in managing and handling them. As I said, there are a number of ways by which these values could be present, be felt, and manifest, which I am doing my best to cover as much ground in terms of possibilities as possible, so as to allow Helen to acknowledge them how they may be present for her.

It is quite likely that your process of spiritual awakening and growth in this lifetime may have seemingly intensified this charge (while at the same time the difficulty with it could have been a driving factor for it to take place). As you expand your awareness and rise in vibration, you are simultaneously a) remembering who you are (even if only subconsciously, spiritually), therefore desiring to recover and get back to the original states of freedom and connection you know, and b) realizing the sub-par nature of the sheer difficulty, trauma, and karma of the energy that is present in the field of your relationships, existing or otherwise. Ironically, this same process may actually be heightening further the charge itself: because it makes you more ardently desire that level of connection, while at the same time rejecting more the low standards of worth and love you may have been subjected to. This makes you less willing to compromise; less willing to negotiate; less willing to stay, engage, and adapt; it makes you have less patience, and be less committed to being agreeable.

Unbeknownst to you, unconsciously, the spiritual process also brings up the instinctive desire to disconnect and disengage, as critical to you spiritually as drops of water on the desert of oxygen on the lungs, and that you have been missing to an extensive extent – all of this having a cumulative effect of pressing further on the desire to break free from connections, previously established or new. Whereas up until this point the effect of the charge would generally be offset by a desire to be loved, to seek and experience love, to experience some connection, and to belong, and thus become something that even if noticeable could be somewhat manageable, now the current spiritual process has instead seemingly heightened its effect, bringing it up more to the fore, making it more noticeable, and less controllable/circumventable. It may have made you more rash, more impulsive, less agreeable, less willing to engage. And while there might be an arising of personal truth that brings a newfound sense of freedom, a degree of “conundrum” might still exist and be present, insofar as not all pieces of the puzzle have fit together, love and connection have not yet been able to be fully manifested, and a degree of charge might still be felt, feared, or be experienced.

The reason for this is that through any events and circumstances that might be related to what we’ve been explaining, healing of the charge is taking place, as an integral part of your spiritual process. We’ll be addressing the subject matter of healing, and why it is necessary, further ahead as the reading continues, but it is important for you to understand that any intensification of the charge and its effects, to the extent it applies and is relevant to you, isn’t by chance: it is precisely part of your spiritual process.

I could not conclude this second section of the reading without making the obligatory mention to a possible sensitivity towards Nature and perhaps a conservationist attitude by Helen, formal or informal. From all of the materials addressed in the reading I figure that, to some extent, it would be likely for Helen to care about and be affected by environmental matters, to the necessity to preserve and protect Nature, and to how humanity generally handles this topic. If there’s anyone who needs both a large amount of space for her living conditions, as well as living in the midst of a natural environment, it would be her. Helen would be the type of person to pass by a portion of Nature, even if just a small park, and be deeply bothered if not even aggravated with any littering there is in it.

Several of the elements the reading addresses caught my attention, such as the non-verbal focus, possible difficulty with engaging the outside and operationalizing, empathy and perpetual connection in energy and spirituality, extreme tiredness and prone to be overwhelmed, withdrawal within out of a perception of absence of safe spaces, and others. Depending on how impactful, pervasive, and intense the effects discussed so far may be present and apply, in my mind it would be understandable if Helen would be neurodivergent to some capacity. One possibility in my imagination would have been for her to be able to have enough experience in engaging the outside to “act like” others do, effectively being able to function in the world to enough capacity that she can “pretend” not being so; but despite so the inner truth would remain without chance.

In addition, there might also be a strong component of what I would refer as anger, or perhaps of temper. This would relate to the part that may have been exacerbated by the spiritual progress, about being increasingly less flexible and willing to adjust, and being more urging and willing and to break free leaving things and others that are felt as suppressive and oppressive behind. This part essentially is angry, tired, and revolted, at continually adjusting and going the extra mile for others, while gaining little and exposing itself to suffering more, rather than less. And while there is some room for healing and tempering, I will stress this is a legitimate part of the inner process, as the self understandably seeks to release itself spiritually from all the chores, burdens, misunderstandings, unfairness, and lack of freedom, to which it has been subjected on this planet for so long. As such, I would not condone this type of arising and intensifying feeling, because it derives from the spiritual process the self is going through.

From this element of anger and intensity, in the sense it may also be ingrained within the self alongside with the spiritual charge accompanying it – perhaps, to some degree, having “arrived” into the incarnation with the self since birth – I’d be willing to classify Helen as an Indigo child (now adult) as well.

2.6 Why Healing?

At the current stage of your personal development, a strong component of an urge to be liberated developed – or perhaps it has been allowed to arise to the surface and come more to the forefront. And this element is now as if urging the self to break free, from all things that kept restraining itself; from all that prevents itself from following exactly their own determinations; from doing and saying exactly what it needs to say, and to feel things freely, the way it feels them. This is the element that grows a thinning patience for being agreeable, for adjusting to others and their expectations, and that is no longer willing to accept being cornered and suppressed. This element having its way, you’ll be flipping off all that aggravates and limits you, with you riding into the sunset leaving it all behind, never looking back again. Further, it could be an element that could conceptually apply to life itself, and your time on Earth.

The issue is that this element alone also isn’t the answer (by itself). The willingness to leave things behind i.e. detach and disengage, is a critical, crucial aspect of the equation that has been largely missing in your experience on Earth so far, and as such, finding it in yourself, and allowing it to come to the fore more, has been immensely liberating, maybe something of a revelation for you. However, if you notice, acting upon just that – on the general movement of “breaking free”, if you will – on its own isn’t a complete answer in the sense it doesn’t release you from a certain degree of hurt and pain still inside, from a certain lack of comfort and security in navigating the world, and perhaps from the grip certain memories and insecurities might still hold within. If you notice, these remain despite this aspect being allowed. Plus, if you only flip things off and break from them all and/or too easily, you might also be cutting yourself off from the opportunities for love, belonging, harmony, and connection – which you still want and aspire to, as they’re a part of you as well. You won’t achieve a state of, let’s say, completion/wholeness, if you completely shut yourself off from this part as well. In short, acting upon just the liberation part may prevent you from bringing you the loving part.

The idea in terms of the healing process that you are in at this stage of your development – which this reading does not create or bring to you, but rather only aims to make more explicit and offer clarity about – is to have both elements in a somewhat functional capacity: where you can disengage and have safe times and spaces to connect deeply within, and alternate them with particular circumstances where you can engage intensely and deeply with situations and with others in full commitment, where both elements are more separated and more under your control. This general mode of operating and living, with potential adjustments and variations depending on the type of circumstances and area of life, but generally following these molds, correspond and align more to who you are spiritually, where you came from which you find ideal – as well as being also a materialization of what you’ve set out to learn on the Earth plane that you didn’t have before arriving here. This is a state that will correspond to a) your true nature, b) your spiritual progress, and c) to the a state of spiritual graduation/freedom as a result of healing.

Achieving it is not about changing your way. It is not about trying to “fix” yourself, or working against who you are and what you feel. It is not about caring less, being more “loose” or “open”, or otherwise not honoring the way you feel things, how you function, and what you find ideal within, and you’d want to recuperate and get back to. Achieving this healing is about 1) burning away the charge so that 2) what all that remains is what you’ve spiritually learned in your time on Earth, which may then have the opportunity to become manifest. Allow us to elaborate on these premises. What is in excess and is the cause of much of the problems (insofar as what this reading discusses) is not caring too much or too little; it isn’t about feeling too much or too little; it isn’t about being normal or exceptional; it isn’t about staying or leaving. The cause of the problems, and the aim of healing, is not so much a behavioral issue. The problem is the charge itself – in accordance with what we’ve discussed so far.

It is the body of charge, accumulated over the span of your time on Earth, with every situation of lack of freedom, oppression, pain and distress, most active within the realm of interpersonal connections, that is the “problem”, spiritually speaking. Meaning: it is what weighs you down in the Earth experience; it is what keeps you stuck in loops where you find yourself stuck, locked in attachment without freedom, and bound to the whims of others without sovereignty; it is what draws to you experiences of less quality and can lock/keep them in place. And it is a great part that plays negatively with the perception of blockage and lack of connection, contributing to them. We can go so far as to say this charge is karmic in nature, in the sense of being an accumulated residue of energy and emotions from past experiences; but while it was part of them then, at the time they took place in past-lives, now it serves no practical, constructive purpose in the present moment and for the future – save perhaps for the purposes of healing in the present moment. For all effects and purposes, we will say that a part of your process of healing and liberation in the experience of Earth – and, ultimately speaking, of the experience of Earth altogether – requires a “burning” of this body of charge. Doing so will allow your vibration to rise, feel as well as be free in a practical sense, and release you from any bonds and experiences that don’t align with you and don’t serve your greatest good.

As this charge is burned away completely, in its wake will remain only what you have acquired from those same lessons that you have and had on Earth. What lessons are these? It has to do precisely with the matters we’ve discussed: this primarily revolves about the experience, and added wisdom, about navigating an environment that isn’t ideally harmonious, that requires careful management of personal boundaries, careful motorization of interpersonal interactions, and the heightened attention required to do so. It has to do as well with a degree of acceptance and mastery of the self, contemplating a degree of self-directed sovereignty to allow oneself safe spaces, free time, time to think and ponder, time to decide, being away from others, being time away to heal, and so on and so forth. It was this type of experiential wisdom, if you will, that by virtue of circumstances had not been learned on the Homeworld and was acquired in your stay on Earth, and that you’ll take you by the time you’re no longer reincarnating on the Earth plane. But until then, for as long as the charge remains and continues to have weight, this acquired wisdom will remain somewhat obscured or at least perturbed by the aforementioned charge, the former having to share its space with the latter.

What does burning mean? In karmic terms, burning accumulated energy involves going through situations that bring it the energy to the fore and allow its emotions to be felt. The bulk of all healing of karma revolves around the act of feeling – simple, as opposed to complex, and difficult, as opposed to easy. The act of feeling is at the core of all healing, and it is no less true in this circumstance. In short: burning this charge has to do with going through situations that will have you feel it intensely. The presence of this element leads me to believe, therefore, that in your life will exist and/or would have existed situations that to some extent represent and bring up the values of the charge – which are, lack of freedom, suppression of time and choice, disconnection, lack of love, etc. now possibly with an added degree of frustration and anger to accompany them. Further, these are situations that might be present and persist even after the self had chosen to allow oneself to be less agreeable, less adaptable, refuse being cornered, etc. – meaning, the emotions of the situation, the feeling of being suppressed and limited, of wanting to leave the connection behind, etc. might now be extra intense, as the self is now more cognizant of them, and more willing to resist them. And it might be possible for these situations to feel especially like a prison: an unsafe place from where the self can’t or feels powerless to escape, where they don’t want to be, yet possibly without an exit existing in sight.

Please know that any such situations that fit this mold are not karma as in “punishment”. Nor are they meant to last indefinitely, without resolution. They are precisely part of the process of healing that is necessary to burn this core karmic charge, so that ultimately you may be completely free, which is what you ardently desire spiritually. Furthermore, no higher all-powerful entity is pressing down on you to keep you trapped and stuck, or working against your best interests – a feeling which in itself would be part of the charge at stake. Rather, this healing process is self-defined and self-calibrating: the charge itself is so intense that creates the ultimate desire and urge to leave and break free, from it. That desire, is a desire to heal; and to heal karma, the karmic circumstances the self carries within have to be brought to its external reality; and as that happens, the karmic charge will heavily contrast with the desire to break free from it (reminiscent of the connection/freedom once known spiritually), and will create an intense sense of pressure (exacerbating the sense of being imprisoned). This sense of pressure is key: it is this pressure that, metaphysically, will result in the burning of the charge, while within the situation(s), for as long as there is charge left to burn, like a fuel that is being spent until there’s no more left. To put it simply, much like a star burns brightly by creating fusion under its own weight, the pressure that results from the intensity of the charge itself will result in its own burning.

With this burning, you will in essence be leaving behind: the instances across many lifetimes of broken trust and broken promises; of being disappointed and disillusioned; of being trapped in situations out of your control; of not being able to say No, nor have any saying in the course your life would take; of the heart being perpetually broken; and of inner expectations and standards never being met.

2.7 Movement

Up until now, in your journey on Earth across many lifetimes, you’ve been as if immersed in a muddled pool: of challenge. A pool where there are no boundaries, where there’s little choice and agency, where suffering is predominant and challenge can appear at any time, and with no oxygen to breathe. This pool had its moments of connection, belonging, sharing, and rewarding experience; but it all “jumbled” together with the less positive aspects of the experience, without the chance to establish a clean separation between them.

The movement that your healing is meant to induce as it occurs, is transitioning form the state, in the above paragraph likened to being immersed in a muddled pool with all things jumbled together without separation, and a more resonant state, where you are able to transition under your choice between moments where you’re able to step outside of the pool onto a safe and detached space (and time, and circumstances), and then when ready and willing you can, for any amount of time and again under your agency and choice, momentarily step back into the pool, which is where all connections and “real life” is. The pool will retain some of the things inside it: the waters a little bit muddled and obscured; some lack of clarity; some blockages out of the presence of others; difficult to tell where things are, and where the energy one one ends and of the other one begins; difficulty to have oxygen to breathe. But, in this second stage towards which this movement heads towards, this pool will no longer last indefinitely, with you completely immersed in it, not being able to leave/escape/detach, and with no end in sight; instead, and crucially, you will remain there for as long as you’re compelled to do so, and you’re free to detach and leave at will, being able to resume your safe space/time and regain clarity and grounding. A particular example of this movement would be what was contained and illustrated in the example given for work, where you were suggested to step outside of situations in order to gain clarity, until you were ready to engage them again, and when doing so only spending in them as much time as necessary.

Out of the current spiritual state, a part of you might feel disappointed with the idea of “stepping back into the pool” or similar description, because at this time your greatest desire is precisely to break free from it; to break free and leave behind all chords, bounds, and burdens. This is understandable: it is understandable because this urge to break free, to “leave”, on a spiritual level equates to and comes from the desire to burn all karma, become free from the reincarnation cycles on Earth, and resume a level of existence that was resonant with life in the Homeworld. In short: the urge to break free from all that burdens the self ultimately equates to a spiritual desire to ascend, with the ultimate form of “leaving” being leaving planet Earth. Further, this desire is completely true and legitimate. It is what has truly been fueling the process of healing we’ve been describing. That being said, we reiterate that this process of healing and ascension will not have you go back in time (spiritually speaking) and return to a past that had been. Meaning, ascending won’t simply mean the freedom of leaving everything behind; of only experiencing the purest connection as it was known and experienced in the Homeworld, and nothing else. Rather, it is integrating that with what was learned on Earth. It is to open the possibility of exploring outside that core, original space, being able, empowered, and comfortable enough to do so, while always retaining the ability to retrieve the purest connection in solitude at any time. In other words, it is to incorporate the practical experience of Earth with the inner references that were, and will still be, the spiritual background and origination of the self. Thus, we aren’t looking at “going back”, but neither are we in changing the self for the future; we’re simply aiming at moving forward from where you stood, adding to it.

The movement of healing will lead to a state of experience in the physical plane, where you’ll have created for yourself the freedom to move between attached and detached, uninvolved and engaged, fully present and perfectly absent, under your choice and in a way that’s comfortable for you. Whichever situations you will manage, and that you’ve already managed to achieve so, will resonate/match/correspond to the ascended spiritual state manifested on the Earth plane. Such moments and/or situations are, and will be, spiritually representatives of the how you lived in the Homeworld and the connection you were able to achieve there; and on Earth they will also represent the amount of healing you have managed to achieve. They will be, to the lack of a better word, a metric of success, so to speak, if you allow us to put things this way. Meaning, they will represent the success you’ve achieved in a spiritual sense. As the ascended state is manifest on the material plane, so it will too be present on the spiritual one.

I have not been allowed by the reading to give timings or prognostics regarding the timing of the ascension process. Therefore, I am not able to tell whether it is something that will take place in the short term, in this lifetime, of if not, in how many lifetimes and/or in which circumstances. There are, however, things I can and am allowed to say freely. I can say the process is ongoing as we speak (visible by the sense of pressure and distress regarding these matters). I can say that the process moving at good pace and that you’ve made a good headway in it, meeting and surpassing expectations. And I can say that the process of ascension as a whole is in what could be called its “last stretch”, meaning, the human self is actively aiming at healing in a definite manner and meeting up with the spiritual layers of itself, without further delays or distractions, and engaged with or paying attention to little else. This is in fact one of the elements contributing for the intensity with which the charge may be felt, and is healed by. This intensity is further potentiated by the spiritual/metaphysical processes planet Earth is currently undergoing, which are, in a general way, imposing a degree of heightened pressure and intensity on all those whose spiritual premise is ascending, or at least healing to a significant, meaningful extent. We will reiterate here that the process of healing and of ascension aren’t meant to contemplate the values of liberation/release/breaking free only – because that would not fully contemplate the connection that is also part of you. Rather, these must lead to and will include the components of connection i.e. colloquially speaking, engaging and mingling with others in a practical sense, still sharing life moments and circumstances with them, even in the healed/ascended moment.

For this reason, you may find that certain situations, particularly if related to healing and distress, rather than allowing you to easily leave, break free, and potentially create a irrecoverable dissolution, will instead ask for tempering that element with a degree of patience, tolerance, and acceptance. This might register as entirely counter-intuitive because the self has just allowed itself freedom from what it shackles it; the thought of it may be felt as asking the self to surrender to its daemon or jailer. But the freedom that is adequate to the spiritual process isn’t so much a freedom to break free from situations destroying them, but rather the freedom to be and feel free in their presence, as opposed to being stuck in and by them – a sovereignty and sense of freedom made possible by the burning of the karmic element and integration of accumulated experience. As such, to expedite the healing processes wherever you may find it, look for the application of the following answers whenever they may present themselves and be asked by the process: aiming to surviving and enduring a situation where you find yourself vulnerable and trapped, until the moment you no longer are; holding on to hope where no hope can be discerned – even if it’s hope in something that’s not yet known or hasn’t been revealed yet; holding on tooth and nail to the 1% of true freedom and connection you are able find when otherwise within such a situation; remembering to choose: even if you’re unable to change a situation you’re in, remind yourself to hold the intention of what you’d rather experience, and where you’d rather be, even if just in your mind or as prayer. The intention that is held within in a sustained manner goes a long way in directing one’s path, and in shaping the realities that will manifest later, as the healing that is carried out will allow; ceasing to try to fight the situation, “letting go”, dropping the arms, and embracing the distress being inflicted by the situation.

Letting go and embracing distress surely has to be the most counter-intuitive and hopeless-sounding suggestion we can possible give, given the contents of this reading; but hopefully the intention behind this suggestion may also be understandable to some extent. It is not to be confused with accepting unfairness at the hands of others, forgiving a toxic transgressor, going back to earlier states of personal awareness, etc.; the only point being to embrace any process by which the charge is being burned, should that clearly be the purpose of a situation of distress out of which you can’t easily find solutions or an “antidote” for.

Part III: Contrast

3.1 Plight

Allow us now to retrace a few steps back, and go back to the stage of your spiritual past when you first left your Homeworld. We’ll say this was the initiation of the journey by which you as a spiritual self, as you regard yourself to be today, undertook. Spiritually you still are, and see yourself today as being, the same being who went through this experience. There’s a continuity between that then and this now, and this step and the journey thereafter are that’s felt as having happened in a relatively recent. relatable past.

This step was, well, more or less literally, stepping into spaceships.

The collective on your Homeworld, yourself included, had been in contact with external intelligence for some time. Until this reached a point when direct communication was possible, mostly telepathically, in consciousness. And there came a time when intelligible conversations were established, diplomatically if you will. Out of these early conversations, the way first contact happened was, not by others descending from the skies with their spaceships – they generally felt doing so would be overextending, stepping onto a “terrain“ which was highly sacred for the inhabitants. So instead, it was determined first contact would be best carried out by extending an invitation for a few in that collective, who might want to visit them in their spaceships, up in space. And, ultimately, this invitation would be extended, or prolonged, in that a few out of those were invited to join them, in space, on a more long-term basis. This was an invitation to depart their Homeworld to travel the Cosmos with them, as ambassadors of their Home energy and welcomed newly-minted members of their “space collective”, sharing experiences and memories, and generally speaking, going out to see the world – that is to say, outer space.

Out of those in your collective, you happened to be one of those who chose this. You were interested in seeing what was out there; spiritually, it was a desire to establish more contrast, out of curiosity, to progress your spiritual development. There was a need for “something more”. And so out you went, stepping into the void yourself. Which involved, again, physically stepping onto these spaceships. We should also note these were positively-aligned beings of the Fourth Density, traveling the Cosmos for purposes that related primarily to spiritual interests, curiosity, altruistic pursuits, and generally serving Source in spiritual alignment. These had multi-origin, multi-cultured, multi-ethnic backgrounds; meaning, these weren’t one species/civilization but rather comprised of many individuals from many societies, each representing the voice and energy of their respective society of origin, co-inhabiting a mutually-shared, high-technology, space-bound setting. This setting had a degree of limitations (normal for being in space rather than on the surface of a planet) but was still advanced technologically, where they willingly and mindfully fostered a harmonic, mutually-respectful, safe environment. The experience, in theory, would have been all manners of exciting, revolutionary, exhilarating, mind-boggling, and each and every possible term describing how something totally new beyond beyond conception happens to the self. And you would have preferred for it to have been that way. But that was actually not the case.

We’ll greatly abbreviate much of the details, as there were naturally many; our main focus will be transmitting the essence of the experience, how it was like for you, and how you felt it.

For you, the experience throughout was very disconcerting, dissonant, and overwhelming, on many and very deep levels. As an approximation, so that you may have an idea, imagine the hypothetical, illustrative situation of moving to a different country, with a different language, where you don’t have relatives friends or acquaintances, as a six-year old child, finding yourself there unexpectedly and without preparation. As this child in this imaginary situation, you suddenly see yourself standing in the middle of a busy town square, on an unknown city, in a foreign country, not knowing what either cities or countries are, and having no idea where to start, what to do, where to go, and essentially having no idea period. This was not a direct comparison with this situation, of course; but we hope to begin helping you understand the type of sensation that came from being in the experience.

First and foremost, the perhaps most glaring and apparent point of difficulty was the one of operationalizing.

Up on this technological space-bound setting, there were many instruments and points of contact for interacting with technology that could or had to be engaged with, in order to achieve all results, and live there, basically. You held no responsibility whatsoever in the setting, mind you; you were not responsible for flying, piloting, being “crew”, or anything of that sort. You were essentially a long-term guest or visitor, perhaps an ambassador if you will, and you were regarded as such. But you were still existing, co-inhabiting, and living to an environment to which you had to adjust to; an environment of a very different and dissonant nature to your Home planet, full of technology, and where basic needs and general living involved a degree of interaction with the environment and that technology, to an extent that did not exist in the Homeworld in any capacity whatsoever, where all resources and safety were available and provided for, and largely with very little difficulty or even need for manipulation.

A glaring, very essential limitation was upper appendage skill and hand-to-mind coordination. Compared to most if not all other sentient beings there, this aspect in you was almost, largely, underdeveloped, as it came with your species and biology. You felt like a kindergartner trying to learn very basic things that to others were instinctual, requiring next to no effort and largely bypassing any thought to be achieved. Grabbing, holding, touching, pressing, feeling, and the general premise of reaching out to manipulate the external surroundings, were seemingly far more difficult for you than for anyone else aboard; they would have already been so out of a general lack of habituation to begin with, of brain pathways if you will; but to “complement” the issue, it also didn’t help that biologically the appendages meant to serve that purpose, meant to be used as “hands”if you will, weren’t nearly as suited for doing so compared to what most other species physically had to work with.

Note that not all points of engagement in this environment were physical, as a human would know them on Earth. This was a highly technologically evolved (and varied) setting where many forms of manipulating and providing input in the environment weren’t about pressing buttons or turning knobs! A large proportion of the technology could be interacted with in various ways that to us would be regarded as esoteric/metaphysical/spiritual. There would be things like energy fields that reacted and responded to directed thought and attention; there were some things that could read and react to your aura and “mind field”, and perhaps even respond to it by enacting movement and direction (the technology for flying the spaceships themselves would be a more straightforward example of this, for example). There were things that seemed to have an intelligence and sentience of its own, being able to be interacted with like with a computer, but with consciousness. The jump in difficulty of explaining it would be equivalent to trying to explain digital touch screens to a cowboy living in the nineteenth century countryside. So, in short, not all things needed to be interacted with and handled literally in a tangible, physical, touch-based way; some could and had to be engaged in subtler and energetic ways. And, at least with these, you held some grasp of the subject matter; you kind of knew where to begin.

Still, these were all forms of engaging the external environment, in a targeted manner and for a purpose, to respond to a need or lack, which was by and large still largely new and unfamiliar for you. In all of these aspects you were still facing major adaptation difficulties, almost as if facing the prospect of climbing a mountain at every little corner, gesture, and need. It can be extremely hard to convey in words the premise of having to learn and adjust to something that is completely foreign and new. Imagine the stages of development a human infant goes through before the child is able to even begin manipulating their environment, taking their first steps, articulating their first words, and holding more complex thoughts about themselves and the world. Much of these capabilities, seemingly normal and taken for granted in most adults, come from habituation that was built up gradually as the child grew, starting from instinctual basics but necessitating a large amount of training and practice that over time created the aforementioned pathways in the brain, and without which the child will have never developed to become a functional adult. Now imagine how it would be asking an adult human, who never had any concept of walking upright, articulating words and thoughts, or using their hands to use objects and manipulate the environment, to just begin doing those things overnight. In such a hypothetical situation there would be a steep learning curve to say the least; the difficulty involved in that “ask” would be high, almost as if asking a toddler to use fork and knife, in a space where every other child had been fine dining all their lives.

All others in the environment appeared to do such things naturally, to the extent they didn’t even think about it. The fact that it was so, coupled with your desire to honor your invitation, it as if led you to almost try to abstract and hide the countless, immeasurable difficulty that came to you, as if sweeping it under the rug. An inordinate amount of expectation suddenly came to be in place, in terms of achieving something that was daunting and next to impossible, trying to make it look you could learn and to do in a manner that was disproportionately straightforward. It was an environment that was completely new to you, where you yourself were completely new. This in itself was entirely new as well: you had never experienced a different setting, of different values, of a different nature, with a different feel, or with a different type of connection. Even difference itself was something that was new to you. But you still carried a need to be totally connected to, in symbiosis, and accepted by the external environment. In very simple terms, we’ll say you wanted to be accepted and belong in your “new home”. So instinctively, overwhelmed by a level of contrast you couldn’t wrap your mind around, your first and instinctive reaction was to try to adjust and adapt, and try to be in full harmony, just as you always had done up until that point. It was what was second nature to you. You did not want to cause waves, or be the generator of even more difference. So you hid the difficulty, in your attempt to adjust completely.

This was the first ever creation a very strong and sharp value of dissonance within the self, with their outward behavior came to be dissociated from the true dimension of the inner struggle. The thing is daunting to me and I’m facing an almost insurmountable challenge, yet I’m meant to achieve the thing easily treating it like it’s nothing, so I can keep up with all others who can do so. It was here the first time the self felt the need to hide its difficulty from others, trying to cope with the mountain inside, while appearing to act normal on the outside, as if it handling an inconvenience. Within a space and environment that, even if cognizant and supportive, was ultimately different, unfamiliar, and new to your plight, and could not entirely relate to its depth out of not relating to it.

3.2 Boundaries

Operationalizing was but one aspect to the equation of how you felt. This was in reality a multi-layered situation, with several elements adding to it. Beyond “just” trying to wrap your mind around engaging the environment, what next struck you was – compared to the Homeworld – the relative lack of personal/energetic boundaries within the ship(s), even as the level of awareness/vibration of this context was the Fourth Density. This was another element of contrast, this time perhaps one of a different type. The entities and general intelligence that had been “seen” and identified back in the Homeworld, and that in time were hailed telepathically, had always appeared, and be felt – and to an extent presented themselves – as being more advanced and evolved relative to your planet, both in terms of technology as well as also of evolution in consciousness i.e. relative spiritual advancement. You were all now of the same Fourth Density – it is a spectrum/range rather than an on/off toggle – but these were seen and presented as those who were “already there”. And as you stepped into this environment, your expectation was to being shown the ropes, not just of the environment itself but of the Cosmos, and of the Fourth Density as a while.

And, to an extent, you firsthand came to verify that these expectations were indeed, at least in part, true. In the scale of Densities, these were several civilization members, groups, and individuals, with vast experiences and an ongoing journey in the Fourth Density. Some of these were figures that played roles of relative prominence and status, authorities, who were indeed more spiritually advanced even among the rest. Within the spectrum of the Fourth Density, these could often be situated in the upper half of it, if you will, meaning that they were approaching, with their personal development, certain tenets of the Fifth Density, the stage after the Fourth. And these, even on this Density, emitted and projected and aura that was discernible, of a higher vibratory rate than the rest, discernible due to the subtle qualities of the Fourth Density was an effect that was evident and apparent for all to see. As a side note, it was from observation of such figures the very first instance where you first obtained an initial reference of the general motions of “closing the energy”, “being angry”, and “pushing others away”, for example, which in reality are (or can be) more of a Fifth Density attribute rather than a Fourth one. By virtue of being closer to the Fifth Density, these figures had more practice in displaying and utilizing these modalities of awareness by choice and in mindfulness, without creating separation/suffering externally.

And yet.

Among the members of the setting, among the “crew” if you will – which was of the Fourth Density, and at least relative to the Third that Earth is in – there was a substantial amount of attention and observation of personal boundaries, respect for the other’s energy, and giving space for each other’s own Free Will. However, this did not, by any means, reach the standards and depth to which you were accustomed to in your Homeworld. There was much, shall we call it, social mingling aboard space-faring ships; which was natural, of course, because no matter the vibratory rate of an environment, this was a much more cramped setting compared to the Homeworld (and to any planet) and for that reason alone it was always bound to be intense, less able to provide privacy or space, and somewhat overwhelming and saturating in this regard. Insofar as it created much more frequent moments of proximity and contact, while reducing to a very large extent the opportunity to be on your own and stay in perpetual connection.

The concept of inner spiritual connection, withdrawal to safe spaces, and the maintenance of one’s energy – thank goodness – were well know, seen as evident and true, acknowledged, supported, and actively maintained. These were basic tenets of spirituality that were evident and commonplace, shall we say. That being said, in the cramped space-bound environment, and a little like in an urban environment on Earth, the opportunities for inner connection were certainly fewer, less abundant, and with less “quality”, compared to the sacredness of the woods of the Homeworld. And this created an environment where meeting with others and engaging with them, either purposefully or by chance (i.e. bumping into people, more or less) was far, far more frequent, random, and to an extent unexpected and unpredictable.

As you might imagine, a drastic shift in the frequency and abundance of personal solitude spaces, combined with repetitively keeping to engage-disengage with different people all over – knowing some individuals and others less; some more willing to engage than others; some with relatively different backgrounds, different references, different natures, origins, values, and energies – it all was extremely overwhelming and disconcerting. Engaging with others in deep connection and profound respect, formality, reverence, was the only way you knew how to conduct this aspect of life. The predominant, ingrained habit of establishing a long drawn-out line of communication from afar, then meeting up-close and deeply, all of that almost ritualistic format (which did provide a deep sense of connection) was now being constantly exposed to a constant push-shove of all these different modalities of interactions, with different levels of connection, depth, and variable degrees of respect and spiritual understanding. Despite taking place in the Fourth Density, the raw honest insight into the experience is that these were felt as abrupt, harsh, and even violent, akin to having spear points repeatedly being thrust back and forth stabbing your energy, which too place at any time, all the time.

Not to mention communication in itself was in itself part of the challenge – because communication itself is, or can be seen, as a part of operationalizing, in the sense of engaging with the exterior. When you move to a new country, you first have to learn not just the language itself, but you’ll eventually also integrate all of the minutia of unspoken rules and cultural values that permeate it, without which you’ll constantly be at a loss and one step backwards relative to the natives who master it. And the natives might give you a few tips, but after a certain point they’ll rarely just hand that all of the knowledge out to you; because these are things that are part of being “in the know”, it’s our own little thing, and there’s this unspoken rule where you’re supposed to try and practice the thing on your own to master it, until you become a part of us, at least to an extent. This was a little bit of what also happened on this setting, about language and communication, further compounding with the impossibly difficult premise of having to adjust rapidly to something that was mindbogglingly different to the purely harmonious reality you had grown up and evolved in as a spiritual being.

Further, compounding with all of the above, despite being in the Fourth Density, those in the ships, despite being in the Fourth Density, seemed to have a much lax attitude, despite being in the Fourth Density, towards personal boundaries, despite being in the Fourth Density. Despite being in the Fourth Density. The much more intense and frequent environment created situations where individuals’ energies were, well, much more “on top of each other”, compared to, say, if they were living on the surface of a planet. The context of being cramped together created an environment where, for practical reasons related to having to co-inhabit the same space, the habits involved with maintenance of energy and personal spaces were less taken care of. In simple terms, out of practicality, some of the respect otherwise typically afforded to interpersonal interaction was somewhat abbreviated if not ignored for the sake of simplicity, brevity, and practicality. Individuals would cross each other’s paths and speak/communicate in half terms or thoughts, as if simply signaling each other without much though. This is a simple enough example, but one that is enough to show a remarkable difference with the way interactions worked back in the Homeworld for you.

The more meaningful issues arose with a certain amount of dilution of boundaries that resulted from this simplification. Individuals would often inadvertently step over each other’s personal spaces for inner connection (you’d call these something like “meditative time” or similar) interrupting it; individuals could sometimes pick up the habit of appearing and stepping into each other’s quarters entirely unannounced, and then out of mutual courtesy the other would not be able to decline or say No, even if it was inopportune for them or the person simply didn’t desire to connect at that particular time. It is difficult even now to state particular examples, but the feeling of this would be akin to as a child having your mother repeatedly entering your room behind your back and touching and rearranging your things, no matter how many times you ask not to. The feeling is of not having strong personal boundaries, nor the jurisdiction/legitimacy to maintain them – when this was the most crucial aspect of the safety and connection of the Homeworld.

This aspect in particular was infinitely challenging because all connections for you necessitated a degree of mutual responsibility and upheld respect, and you were now in an environment where this was very frequently not observed or completely missed at all, inadvertently or on purpose. The energy coming in truly felt like being forced to accept it against your will, and this generated a general sense of distress and unsafety, already in the midst of a process of great challenge due to the need to adapt, making you feel you had no way of maintaining or enforcing your boundaries. Mind you, no one was knocking down your door to behave with aggression or violence towards you. It was more a form of ‘soft unwanted permission’, where the person, yourself included – perhaps out of embarrassment, for the sake of mutual harmony, or simply to avoid causing separation and pain to another out of the feeling of rejection it could create in them – was or felt discouraged from maintaining their boundaries even if and when they wanted to. So it was not an aggressive, difficult environment; but it was nevertheless one where boundaries were often muddled, ignored, and kept that way.

To an extent, we can say these traits had somewhat to do with the practical necessities of the environment itself, which lent to adaptations of a practical nature intended to cope with the lack of space, time, and resources, that naturally arose from living in space (even in high vibration and with evolved technology). To a large extent, even many of those on that setting also disliked that aspect to it; but for the sake of practicality, and also to belong, “in Rome do as the Romans do”, these too had to adapt, and even did their part in impressing this form of behavior among themselves. It came to be a natural part of the setting and its identity. Still, this was something you had never had to deal with before, and consequently had little experience in coping with. Thus, none of the reasons above prevented you from feeling this aspect very intensely, almost violently. You were now in a cramped environment energetically, where there was little space to regain connection, and where your space, boundaries, and energy could be trespassed by others due to their proximity, in ways that you could even not be able to foreseen and conceptualize, let alone deal with or protect yourself against. It was the first experience of the feeling of oppression, suffocation, lack of space, and unsafety, largely associated to close proximity to others.

3.3 Special

Another aspect to this experience sits on the more subtle layers of what may be ascertained about this matter, and may have even somewhat escaped your attention at the time.
Societies progress through the Densities in their development and spiritual advancement, graduating from one to the other, in sequence. After the Third comes the Fourth, then after the Fourth eventually comes the Fifth, and so on, with a total of Seven Densities total existing, with the seventh being the closest in vibration and perspective to Infinity/Source.

By the time a society crosses the threshold onto the Sixth Density in particular (6D), they largely bypass the existence that is bound to physical biological bodies, and, although still maintaining shape and/or ability to project into physical manifestation, now exist primarily as ethereal immaterial energy, no longer bound to the limitations of the physical plane. This also results in often 6D entities congregating in larger abstract Complexes of “Supersouls”, which are essentially more advanced and refined versions of the Collective Consciousness, pertaining more to 4D and 3D, that we described before. Usually, in 6D this means each individual entity is whole within oneself, while at the same time also be an integral, inexorable part of the whole, which in turn has a consciousness and sense of identity of its own. Usually, this effect is not as predominant in the Fourth Density. On that level there’s a degree of Group/Collective-level Consciousness, greater than in 3D, which, as the name implies, forms by the group consciousness of groups, and collectives, even on the planetary level. But individuals still mostly see themselves as individuals first and foremost, with the broader aspect to their awareness more of an afterthought, relatively speaking, rather than something at the forefront of their consideration to an equal degree. Note that as one ascends in Densities the individual sense of identity isn’t lost i.e. one doesn’t “disappear” or “dissolve” into a bigger soul (!) rather one’s awareness expands to encompass more of what they really are and always have been; but this is merely a remark for another time, relative to the information discussed now.

But you and your Homeworld are a peculiarity in this regard. They are very unique in the sense that the level of harmonious nature by which they developed throughout 3D, almost exclusively without ego, confrontation, or separation, without competition for places and resources, and with an inordinate amount of spiritual connection (inversely proportional to the level of technological advancement) had led to the effect of having transitioned onto the Fourth Density, relative to what usually happens, almost as a hybrid form of awareness: part individualized, in the sense of being comprised of individual entities, but also equally collectivized, in the sense of being so connected with the whole, with themselves, as a collective – to a degree emulating the type and level of connectivity that a Sixth Density Spiritual Collective would have. Consequently you are a representative of a unique type of deep spiritual connection on the physical plane, a type of which is highly uncommon and unseen throughout the rest of the Fourth Density. Another way of putting this would be to compare your spiritual origination to almost being like a hybrid between the existence/energy/awareness of an angel (Angelic Realms) and that of an incarnated being, in the sense of representing a state of pure connection to Source almost without ego, malice, or separation, while at the same time being incarnated in a physical body.

This is one of the reasons why the Fourth Density collectives were interested in your Homeworld and had extended an invitation to travel and be with them: not just to represent your collective next to them in the Cosmos, but to be a representative of deep spiritual connection for them, a little bit like a “walking lighthouse”, if you will, to the lack of better term. Meaning, to remind themselves of what actual deep connection could be. Further, this is part of why you, on a spiritual level, see yourself both as an individual entity and also identify with being the Collective Homeworld Itself: first, a) because you can hold both levels of reference at once, “natively”, that is to say, out of the specific characteristics that your Collective spiritually has; second, b) because that was your particular role as seen by anyone else on the Fourth Density. You were there as a representative, or a reminder, of what spiritual connection was; as a maximum exponent, an extreme example, of how much spiritual connection could be achieved, as showcased by a particular civilization that had achieved it to an unprecedented degree. Over time you also ended becoming somewhat attached to the definition of that role, because this is mostly what you had “signed up for”, and how others saw you.

In the space-bound setting, there was much dissonance with the external. It was a setting where references you were familiar and comfortable with were few and far between, and where even the concept of doing something, of being useful, of contribute or play a role, was foreign to you – this had been one of the reasons for the appeal of having you on board, figuratively and literally. But in this setting, and for the same reason, it was difficult for others to truly acknowledge the depths of yourself and of your spiritual connection, because despite being of the Fourth Density they could only go so far into reaching that connection and thus were never able to match it. So there was a limit to how much this new setting could make you feel acknowledged, accepted, intrinsically connected with and integrated, be a part of it. But one of the few things others could acknowledge, was your identity as a representative/example of true connection; that was your “position”, so to speak; it was your role. In fact, as you walked around, this would be tangible and visible to others.

The Fourth Density is nonetheless a fairly high vibratory state where the energetic and metaphysical, sometimes called esoteric or “paranormal” in 3D, can be more easily ascertained, physically and visually if you will. When you walked the corridors and passageways, you would carry with you this translucent aura next to and enveloping your body. In a visual sense the effect was almost as if your physical body was partially distorted, a little like a three-dimensional hologram; or perhaps as if your physical body shared the same physical space with a floating body of water that was permeating the same space you existed in and walked through. Accompanied by subtle natural “shine” on the feather-like plumage, this effect was as if your aura had a very tangible shine to it, in a way that even for the Fourth Density was rather noticeable and unusual. And while it wasn’t the precise same effect as the figures of spiritual relevance in this new setting also had, it had some characteristics that rivaled it and often drew comparisons with that type of aura. In other words, it had you be compared in equal footing to the revered and respected spiritual authorities of the setting.

Naturally, in a setting where you struggled (infinitely) to find a space and identity, and that was different than everything you’d ever known, this was one of the few things you felt validated and reflected back to you, that properly acknowledged if you will, the sense of connection, respect, and nurturing that you no longer were in – perhaps even the only one, and to this extent. In simple terms, it was something that made you feel special. So because it strongly validated you, this was something that “stuck” closely to your formulation of your identity, even on this spiritual level, as if a reminder you kept to yourself and why/how you were special. I am special [in the sense that] I am a representative of my Homeworld, and of true, deep spiritual connection. So that is who I am. Your aura and the visual effect to it were, in practice, the sacred energy of your Homeworld, more specifically the energy and vibration of the forested spaces where you lived in. This energy was an integral part of you and you carried it in you, because it was your energy also, whenever you went – almost like an energetic “bridge” back to your Homeworld. The effect itself wasn’t as noticeable for you, only because you had lived immersed in it all of your existence, it was all you had known.

3.4 Different

This intrinsically distinct and unique spiritual nature made you feel distinct and different from all others in this setting, in a context where everything else already was different, and where would have already made you feel different to begin with. You carried the highest potential for connection, while, to an inverse proportion, being inexperienced and underdeveloped in engaging with the external world, at least in the molds and shapes practiced in the new setting. In these circumstances, it was therefore next to impossible to find a point of contact and reliability with others. This couldn’t be helped, because your spiritual energy was inexorably different from anyone else around you, in all conceivable levels. This difference exacerbated any and all issues pertaining to adaptability, learning, and adjustment, and it only made you feel isolated, alone, “by default” – even loneliness itself being a new development for you.

This was the first time you were in a different external environment other than your Homeworld and its energy, and the first time in a context where you were distinct from that environment. The Homeworld was a harmonious energy you spiritually, simultaneously, belonged to and also were a part of. You were as if immersed in it, a part of it, and you shared that same sense of connection and belonging with all others there, whom you could sense and speak with from distance, and you shared deep bonds of connection with a reciprocal sense of respect and commitment. In that setting, all others in it also felt part of the same whole, and you were used to feeling connected, it was all you knew. But you were now away from that context, experiencing what it was like to be, exist, and feel outside of it. You were now disconnected from it, much like, figuratively speaking, a fish out of water. You carried the energy of your Homeworld within, as its energetic representative, ambassador, and example; so metaphysically speaking you took your energy and connection with you, whenever you went. However, the external circumstances were now different, no longer the inside reflecting the outside. This made you feel a pervasive sensation of disconnection, and as if you had been severed from the harmonious nature of the Homeworld.

But something else added to this sensation of perpetual, pervasive disconnection. From Home you had brought the continual seeking of connection in intensity, a momentum/impulse that was part of your genesis and energetic signature. So you couldn’t “shut it down” even if you wanted to. From this momentum, your energy was constantly seeking to be immersed and engaged with the external environment wherever you stood – in this regard, not engaged as in reaching out to achieve a particular external purpose i.e. operationalize, but engaged as in reaching out in energy, subtly, to attach yourself to the energy around you. As mentioned, you come from an origination that was metaphysically “hybrid”, where you were both an individual physical being but also in parallel you were also part of a whole in energy and awareness. And this led you to try to always belong to the whole around you; to be in a constant state of immersion, connection, subscribing, “tapping” to it at all times – a little like being connected to the whole by having the plug inserted into its socket, figuratively speaking.

And so, in this new environment, your energy was constantly/perpetually reaching out, looking for that “socket” to plug into. Which is to say, there was a momentum of engaging with the surrounding energy in order to belong to it. Except the external environment you were tapping to was not the original Homeworld. Certainly it was a spiritually advanced setting, of the Fourth Density and of high vibration; and yet, it did not hold the same standards of harmonic values and resonance of your Homeworld, and that you embodied. Not only did it not match the level of connection to Source, but there was also a degree of heterogeneity between individuals: they all had varying standards of beliefs and biases, connectivity to Source, spiritual challenges, and even overall spiritual advancement. Further, many were spiritual entities used to incarnate in the physical while having explored a degree of duality and separation, which they now held residue of within them, both in memory as well as in their energies. Separation also often included an ego, which is a portion or subset of the self’s identity that tends to develops alongside experiences in physical matter where separation is prevalent.

All of this were things you didn’t have and didn’t relate to, as it was something you had not experienced back Home. So if you were already like a fish out of water simply by virtue of being different in that setting, on top of it the setting itself also had a portion of disharmonic values in its energy, from its heterogeneous composition in terms of members and the separation held by in their own energy and consciousness. So, as you inexorably reached out to connect with all of this by default, not only were you felt disconnection from being disconnected from your Homeworld’s energy, and from feeling different from everyone else, but you were also tapping to the outside values of disconnection, as if feeling all of it at once. As you were feeling all of this, it was new, disconcerting, and overwhelming enough that you didn’t consciously realize the disconnection you were feeling (or part of it) was a disconnection that existed outside around you, rather than in and of you. In space, no matter the setting, there’s limited opportunity to “go somewhere else” i.e. leave the environment and stand outside of it. In these circumstances, there was nowhere to go, and you couldn’t detach and retreat to a safe space, even if you wanted to. Not to the extent you could do in your Homeworld anyway. So this was the first instance of tapping empathically to the outside, and experiencing, shall we say, a level of “second-hand” distress and suffering as a result of it, connected to it virtually constantly and without being able to easily disengage.

It should be noted that to this experience of disconnection there were very real and tangible aspects to it. When a sentient being stands on the surface of a planet, particularly if it’s their planet of origin, the physical biological body is adapted to, and in constant communication with, the energetic, electromagnetic, geodesic etc. subtle energetic elements of the planet. The physical body is in some ways like an organic, small-scale replica of the planet itself, in the sense its has and generates its own electromagnetic field and aura, which then functions like an antenna that continually picks up and harmonizes with the same energetic values of the broader planet as a whole. But when you go to space and leave that planet’s proximity, the body is no longer in contact with and immersed within its energy; the connection on these levels is severed; and if the physical body stays in these conditions for prolonged periods, its baseline functioning may be affected. Now, there are various ways to simulate these energetic values while in space to diminish this effect, which essentially boil down to attempting to replicate the same energy in the spacecraft that has to be lived in. Still, the methods that achieve so artificially, no matter how advanced, can never be perfect in replicating how this energy is naturally generated by a planet. So this was an effect that anyone in these circumstances would experience: simply the fact traveling away from one’s planet of origin will inevitably result in the physical body, to some extent, reacting to absence of the energy that it is designed with and for, particularly the specific tones, vibrations, and energetic signature, that is is used to live in and is made of. It was just the case that, for you, this effect that you’d already be going through, was compounded, felt exponentially, and turned up to eleven, by virtue of the added layers of your specific background and the experience of extreme contrast you were going through.

The uniqueness of your spiritual nature doesn’t end in the hybrid nature of the way it combines individual and collective awareness on the Fourth Density. Typically, the way most souls first self-realize is through experiencing contrast when coming in contact with the physical plane and its experiences, after having descended in vibration from Source, and came into proximity with the physical plane. This contrast, which equates to experiencing things, close to or within physical matter, that are opposite to the harmonic, blissful state of wholeness and completeness of Source, create an “energizing” effect that will over time leads the consciousness of the self to coalesce, until eventually they realize themselves as a soul, and carrying on their individual spiritual journeys across the Cosmos from that point on. With the process by which this happens typically becoming their Genesis Story, forever present in their spiritual background. This is what typically happens for the vast majority of spiritual entities in the Universe.

In a certain sense, what this reading describes are the circumstances of your own Genesis Story: the moment or stage in your journey when you were first exposed to an experience of separation and disconnection, which in essence determined the spiritual journey that would take place from there on out. The peculiarity of this story, in this instance, is that it took place in a atypical, “unorthodox” way; in the sense you realized as a sovereign soul on the 3D setting where you had evolved; but exposure to separation did not arrive from the 3D experience on the physical plane, but only from moving from that experience onto the space-bound, higher development setting of of the Fourth Density, after having spiritually graduated/ascended to it. Leaving your Homeworld, to become incorporated and engaged with an extraterrestrial, multicultural setting in space, was what to you equated to incarnating, if you will. It is a unique situation of this background, almost coming in an “upwards” movement (i.e. rising to the “heavens”) rather than a “downwards” one (coming from them). This adds that much more to the uniqueness of your spiritual nature – and also to the stark, deep sense of difference you felt relative to everyone else as you did so.

3.5 Disappointment

We’ve been portraying this situation as if you had gone to spend one or two weeks on a cruise and you didn’t quite adjust well; but we do note this is a simplification for the purposes of the explanation, as in reality both the scale of this experience as well as the passage of time in the Fourth Density in general, spans a long, drawn-out period of time. The reading isn’t specific, but I gauge we’re discussing the equivalent of many, many years on Earth, hundreds, if not thousands, or even more.

There was an initial stage to this journey where indeed it was felt the most intense in terms of the initial shock; it this first stage when this aspect of contrast was at its absolute strongest. Past a certain point, there was indeed some degree of adjustment, with you attempting to find ways to cope with the feeling of disconnection and adversity. It had been, after all, your own choice to be there and do this. At no point had there been anyone controlling you or pushing you to do their bidding; it had been simply a matter of receiving an invitation and responding to it. Nor was at any point a true possibility of giving up and turning back – in part not because it wouldn’t be feasible, but essentially, in part, because the trauma was so intense it didn’t even occur to you! For better or worse, all you could think of was adjusting, adapting, and keeping up, catching up, with the states of development and states of affairs in the new environment you found yourself in. This had also been a choice made on a spiritual level, with many years in the making, the though-process tracing all the way back to the initial stages when the Homeworld had only just begun realizing the external presences “out there”. So giving up, despite the intensity of the experience, was not on the cards.

Past the initial stages of most intense shock, a development unfolded, particularly in terms of awareness and energy dynamics, which we’ll try to explain.

This Fourth Density space-bound setting had been touted as one of advanced development, higher vibration, and the opportunity to expand your horizons. Essentially, an opportunity to meet and engage with the Universe – not just learning by possibly establishing the deep connection in a manner that wouldn’t be restricted to the forest of the Homeworld, but of the Universe and Cosmos at large, which had just been discovered. This was, and still is, a major draw; a deeply passionate spiritual calling, emerging from that same connection, to connect with the Universe. And this was what had you move forward and be there. But over time you realized that, despite certain elements that were indeed much more advanced, both in technology and in awareness/vibration/standards, there was also much to it that was… subpar. This sensation had to do with many of the aspects discussed so far, as they were observed in the Fourth Density. Some degree of boundaries being loosened; a lesser degree of spiritual connection/connectivity, despite the vibration being arguably higher; lesser standards in interpersonal connection, respect, and willingness to connect; and so on. There was to the experience a degree of, shall we say, disappointment.

That is not to say that you held all of the Fourth Density vibration accountable for these specific values you found where you here; you did not have sufficient information to draw that conclusion. But you did find that at least that specific environment, where you had struggled so much, and still did, to adapt to and engage, there were many components that did not meet your, well, expectations. Again, not to the extent you would contemplate leaving i.e. changing the choice you had made. Yet, a certain level of disappointment nevertheless existed in your consideration. But in parallel with this feeling of disappointment, there was also all of the experience of feeling out of place, grossly underdeveloped, under-prepared for this setting, and the contrast with how all others were able to navigate it. These were essential requirements that you did not have and had to learn, yet all others held them naturally almost taking them for granted – this was in part due to your inexperience in going through separation in 3D and learning from it. Conversely, most others in this setting had been through entire 3D cycles in their own journeys in the past, which had led them to a degree of hard-earned experience in dealing with separation, in knowing what it felt like to “get a little bit dirty”. And they all carried that experience and energy residue with them. You found yourself in a position of having to play an impossible game of catch-up, if you wished to achieve a minimal of adjustment and belonging.

It happens the setting itself was externally also reflecting this duality, between “supposedly higher but then disappointing”, which you yourself were holding within, back to you. For others, you had been touted as the next big thing in terms of connections. An entity part physical part collective, representing the highest form of connection there could be. And indeed, to an extent, your capabilities and appearance did show a high level of spiritual connection. However, in part because others couldn’t quite grasp the true depth and extent of that connection, in part because you were so inexperienced i.e. naive, unprepared, on an extremely fundamental level, and found it difficult to relate to and engage them on a one-on-one basis, they often couldn’t help but feel a little disappointment in you as well. To their understanding, they were expecting a highly developed spiritual master, a walking shining beam of Light, capable of shaping its own reality and transcend all manners of space and time rules at will. Instead, what they got was a barely functional being who constantly struggling with basic communication, with relating to them, and even with the basic functionality of the ship.

We need for a moment to once again situate this point within a scope of Fourth Density Vibration. It’s not like you were being bullied on the spaceship – possibly something that could happen in a situation on Earth of equivalent values. There wasn’t any adversarial or confrontational attitude, and to an extent individuals had a state of awareness that allowed them a good understanding of what was going on, affording them wealthy compassion and tolerance. But you know how the practicality of an everyday life can bring things down to the lower denominator. When there isn’t enough energy to sustain a “higher”, more understanding perspective on a certain matter – also helped by the less-than-ideal state of the space-bound environment, which allowed less connection. In the everyday living, within the ship’s walls, in the lowering of the arms and a certain numbing that comes with routine and habituation, there were many small moments when others couldn’t help but feel a little… disappointed in you. The reference of connection they were expecting didn’t match the isolated, difficult-to-communicate-with being that was in front of them. Even if they understood it, they also felt things in a certain way. It hurt you deeply. And you could feel this reception in them very well. Your state of perpetual connection afforded you to. You sought to be engaged with the outside in energy (empathetic-ally), which meant it was all too easy for you to pick up on the subtle feeling as others would feel it.

You knew when others held you in a lesser regard. It’s not that they wished you harm or anything of that nature; but it’s when they subtly start displaying less willingness to engage; it’s when they stop listening, and begin dismissing; it’s when they might show a little respect outward, but inside they’ve already disconnected. Here was the first instance of the attention/commitment that would otherwise be mutual in the Homeworld, start to subside in others. It was the first instance where the impulse for begging for energy, an energy that was slipping away, began. As others felt disappointed, the amount of reciprocity in the attention and depth of connection they would display would inevitably reduce. And this was what truly hurt you. This hurting, that was so tangible almost to the point of feeling like like jagged edges coming through your body, was a reminder of what you had lost and lacked from the Homeworld. An acute sensitivity to rejection was born. This disparity was very much present in how you felt about yourself. No longer immersed in an setting where you felt you belonged, having lost such a crucial aspect to your existence absent (which in part you didn’t even knew you had) your focus had gone went onto the parts of the new setting by which you were felt accepted and valued, as a replacement if you will. And this was, namely, being presented and seen as an example of the highest possible connection – which was precisely true.

So, sometimes, on some occasions, you’d feel great! Sometimes you’d feel like a million bucks, to use a very colloquial expression. The visual effect in particular was noteworthy in that it seemed to prove this nature to you, and it was often equated to that of the higher order, more advanced figures of the setting. But other times this came crashing down. And you felt like a literal child, if not even sub-human, struggling to articulate thoughts and engaging others even in simple ways; all minutia being very complicated to you and not coming naturally. You would struggle to hold cutlery and other items with your hands, without dropping them or shifting them around in place. On occasions, which were most of them, you felt like you were slowing everyone down, not playing your part, being a constant, extreme disappointment. Which, as you might imagine, didn’t do any favors to all of the experience of adaptation, and its issues described so far.

I’m unsure what came first: if it was you becoming deeply disappointed by the setting – and with the people in it, and their subpar connection, sensitivity, commitment, awareness, and standards – or if it was them being disappointing with you, as you seemed to not meet their expectations of the connection that you supposedly held and were there to show them. What’s true was that the disappointment that was felt within was being matched, reflected, and redirected to the self, by the external setting.

3.6 Coping

In order to cope with this swinging back and forth between feeling okay and then being subjected to extreme core pain, seemingly at any time, out of nowhere, and when pain itself was something you hadn’t even known, you reacted in a way that to be fair is relatively common for a sentient being to, when they’re exposed and are subject to separation.

You created an ego.

The ego is that part of the self that says “I’m better than everyone else”, in order to cope with feeling worse than everybody else. In this case, outside of the nurturing, harmonic nature of your Homeworld, immersed and “encased” in a state of perpetual disconnection where you were seldom accepted and seen, you sought to grab on to whatever small remnants in that setting allowed you to remind yourself of the original acceptance, belonging, and intrinsic worth – as reminders of the original connection, as explained previously. And these were the aspect of being perceived as a being of superior connection. And you used that element to shore yourself up, to avoid preventing falling time and time again in a dark pit of infinite despair, which by that time was starting to become all too familiar. And so you started to adopt and fuel that element, as much as you could.

You adopted the image others could at least partially, or at least wanted, to see of you. You tried doing your best to present yourself as a superior, connected being, maybe not so much in a spontaneous manner, but rather maybe in a way that others were expecting to see. If others weren’t capable of ascertaining you, then you’d give them what they wanted. And to avoid having others peering through that image, you started consolidating it, perfected it, insulated it, as best as you could. So as to not have the spear points constantly piercing through reaching your soft core.
You used the ego to shield yourself. As an attempt to try to cope with a pain that was impossible to solve and to escape from. And as a way to give a little more space for yourself. You were trying to push others away a little more with the ego; if you couldn’t detach completely from them, then you at least tried to do what you could, to try to not have others waltz into your presence unannounced, without noticing you, or failing to acknowledge your true worth. Now you had a “true worth” – or at least your ego did. Now there was an image to present yourself with, and a threshold of value you didn’t want to fall below of. It was the birth of the ego.

The truth is that the construct of the ego can be a reasonable tool when within the material plane, to rescue a degree of worth to the self when that worth is scarce, provided it is used sparingly and with discernment. But the issue of an ego is that past that point, it paradoxically creates the separation it is trying to defend oneself of.

By saying “I am better than” or “this is less than adequate” it is operating by a logic of comparison, and it is actively inducing separation in one’s perception, as it says a part of the whole shouldn’t be there and doesn’t belong. This separation can create disconnection instead of connection, because it is rejecting certain parts of the whole, when the whole is, well, whole. And in fact, if there was a sense of disconnection before, the ego could act by solidifying that disconnection, “covering it” even further. So in utilizing the ego consistently, you would actually be making the choice of consolidating, coalescing, solidifying, your disconnection, within a setting where the seeds for that disconnection already existed.

Unlike all other entities in this Fourth Density setting, you were not used to the separation, or to the ego. The usage of it came naturally and spontaneously enough; it is a coping, survival mechanism; if you’re at sea drowning, you will instinctively thrash and wave the arms, and you’ll instinctively try to hold on to whatever is near you, no matter the species or the background. With the ego it is the same. You had a small speck of remembrance of the acceptance and connection you had lost, and you held on to it with tooth and nail. But since you were unaware of its mechanics, very quickly you were submersed, seduced, and engulfed by them.

Soon you were – and even actively sought – various dynamics and entanglements with others pertaining to traps of comparison, defense and offense regarding hurt, showcasing power, displaying spiritual acuity, and similar. You were soon engulfed in dynamics of enmeshment, entangled in webs of attachment with others, which you sought because there was little sense of connection and truth to be drawn anywhere else, and because it seemed to be the way to connect around here. But in the Fourth Density, you were more attached to the ego than others, and you became more attached to others than them to you (!!). This only fueled the feeling of the attention of others being reduced. The other entities were comparatively more developed and advanced in this regard, and although it’s not always clear right away, comparatively speaking it was nonetheless easier to them to pinpoint exactly when an ego is being incorporated, and put forth as a display for others to see. It was a defense mechanism, and so to an extent was understandable; but without mindful care for control, soon the ego can and will spread all over and try to take over everything and anything, trying to spread to the energies of others and take over their space. And that was what happened in this case. As you were handling something you weren’t well acquainted with, in an impromptu manner, just to try to survive, you began being more of an energetic weight and something others “had to handle” rather than the source of Light, connection, and detachment you were touted to be.

Whenever others could spot you holding the ego, it compounded heavily with the sense of disappointment, which turned into shame. Because whereas before the type of disappointment from others was more like a vague and imprecise feeling, related to not being quite as evidently advanced, now using an ego was demonstratively a way for them to see you were indeed not as advanced! By using an ego, when that ego was indeed not concealed and could be seen by others, their disappointment reached a whole new level: it seemed to prove your lack of development. In turn, your reaction to this was to try to shield your usage of the ego better. To try to hide it, as you felt supremely ashamed that you felt the need to use it. It proved to others, and to yourself, that you were indeed incapable of handling that environment, that you didn’t in fact belong. But in trying to hide it, you withdrew within more, as little other forms of disengaging and re-connection were possible in the setting. But a movement of withdrawal, reminiscent of, but not to be confused with, the motion of disengaging for detachment and re-grounding, is a movement that closes down, shuts off, and locks energies and patterns in place, preventing them from moving. Adopting the ego had led you to solidify the disconnection keeping it in place, as well as seemingly “proving” you were not as spiritually advanced as you had been touted to be. At least, as far as your perception of this experience went.

You had indeed the capacity to connect exactly the way you had been said to have. It happened that by virtue of exactly that capacity, and of the context to which that capacity was born and belonged to, you also had an extreme difficulty in coping with a situation of pain and hurt. And in trying to cope, you attempted to handle something you weren’t as experienced with as others were, which led you to solidify that pain. It was this usage of the ego that determined the next step for your development involved going back to a more “normal” 3D in order to garner some necessary experience and habituation in dealing with difficulty, which had been absent from your previous 3D journey up until then. The reading is closing and will not be covering any events by which this took place; but this was not a punishment in any way; the overall purpose was to be exposed to a degree of 3D experience, at least to the extent that you could functionally (in practice) be empowered on the Fourth Density to maintain connection better even in the presence of any element of separation and adversity.

3.7 Closing

In your current spiritual process, and the healing process taking place, in terms of what the reading depicts, it is as important protecting your boundaries, detachment, and free space, as it is also the willingness to remain in a degree of humbleness.

With the charge that’s being “burned”, itself a field of emotion associated to experiences of pain and distress in the past, it is also being burned the ego alongside it, at least to an extent. The ego has been used to shore up the self in times of deep crisis, in order to prevent falling into an abyss of disconnection, pain, and worthlessness. But the ego is as we stated a double-edged blade that keeps that exact pain and disconnection in place. Utilizing the ego is like cooking a poison and expecting not to be affected by the fumes yourself; the ego is very sensitive towards what it’s protecting itself against, and it becomes very fragile and susceptible if exposed to the things that causes it pain, exacerbating the experiences of that same pain. So the ego has been part of the equation, and is infused with the experiences of the past, that are being healed alongside the charge.

In your rejection of being limited and cornered, you’ll want to close, withdraw, and shut off to the world more than anything. But your healing state is not about becoming completely closed off to the external; it’s about being better adapted to handle it, while maintain a degree of freedom to detach under mindful command. In other words, withdrawal is not the intended healed state; a combination of both external and internal, connection alone and connection together, is. This is why the willingness to hold at least a degree of openness, in the sense of opening and accepting the processing/burning of pain as an experience, are important to your healing. Because this movement of openness and humbleness are opposite to the values that are involved with the usage of the ego, which in turn keep the pain trapped in your experience, reality, and karmic attributes.

The ego was used as a scaffolding: in place of true safety and wisdom, to maintain a modicum of safety and shield you from harm, which could come from any side, at any time, in times when you didn’t have the experience of having gone through these things. Now, by the burning of the charge that is part of your healing, the acquired wisdom and experience left in its wake are intended to occupy the space and role the ego once did, allowing you to become more empowered, and be yourself, in a more detached and free manner.