Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading [Written]: Breaking the Fifth Wall

The following is a Akashic Records Reading (Written) originally performed for a client. This is a reading performed over two weeks and delivered to the client in written, essay form. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would impact the original, intended meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Written Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

Prior to this reading Penelope (not the person’s real name) received two Quick Readings, which brought a number of points that were to be addressed more in depth. Namely, that as a spiritual entity she has a background in what was termed as the “Directors”, a metaphysical intelligence playing a part in managing the manifestation of physical matter, and how the physical realities are designed and maintained. Because of an intrinsic proximity with the process of designing the ultimately holographic setting of the physical realms, there was within Penelope a persistent line of questioning within, about what aspects of life and existence were ultimately real, and what were peripheral, transient, and illusions. Finally, for this reading she placed an inquiry about how her husband and son connected with this spiritual background and her personal lessons.

Part I: Director Energy

1.1 Introduction

We’d like to begin by saying this reading will cover much ground in terms of metaphysical topics, which will be involved in the information put forth throughout. Furthermore, we’ll state that this reading is a follow-up of previous topics already introduced beforehand, in two quick readings preceding it. For these reasons, an overall priority was adopted which was to ‘keep things tight’ i.e. to have all of the various subject matters and points of interest be addressed in a fairly short and succinct manner, at least within a reasonable degree. The reading will also not spend too much time going back to revise what was already said in the previous readings; we’ll carry on and ‘jump right in’ so to speak.

Because of covering much ground, at points it may make it seem certain ideas, concepts, information are as if coming forward quickly, without preparation or in-depth context, perhaps “telegram-style”. This doesn’t mean the ideas themselves aren’t important, or that they don’t warrant due care and attention in observing and exercising your discernment over them. This was only due to the need to simplify and keep compact. Having said so, we do feel this to be appropriate and suitable to serve the purposes of the reading and the explanations herein conveyed.
Throughout this body of text, the plural pronoun ‘we’ might, and will, often be used in phrasing the information. This is a reflection the work results from a collaboration between the human being writing the text, as well as their spiritual assistance selecting, guiding, and transmitting the information and otherwise collaborating in the process, in which your spiritual guidance team plays a a part. The text may sometimes instead come from an ‘I’ rather than a ‘we’, and interchange between the two; on that occasion it will be reflecting more of the point of view of the person writing these words rather than that of the overall team.

This is not intended to come across as weird, or somehow appear grandiose or ‘otherworldly’. This will be a reflection of the dynamics of the process, by which the reading was being made and written, reflected in the final outcome. The point is that it may hopefully be clearer which aspects of the information are coming in a more ‘pure’ sense from Spirit, and which ones lean more towards an interpretation by the reader – which in my mind is still valid information, albeit possibly with some bias or interpretive effort from my part. This is strictly from an intention to remain truthful and transparent regarding about where the information is coming from.

With this being said, it is ultimately up to you to take in the information here presented and apply your own personal inner discernment over it. So that you have the opportunity to tell whether a certain portion of information is accurate, if and how much, and also, so that you have the opportunity to make connections, if any, between the information itself and your own personal and inner real-life worlds. It is in these ‘in-between’ spaces, where the client happens to put two-and-two together i.e. establish their own connections and tie up loose ends with the information by themselves, that spiritual work often occurs significantly.

We hope you enjoy, and may make sense and use of the information here presented, and that it may be of service to your personal path.

1.2 Freedom

The reading opens with an emotional/energy tension/turmoil, which are held within. In a broad perspective this tension relates overall with a type of conflict between the inner world and the outer one: with what may be real and may not be, what may or may not matter at the end of the day, as well as with all things that might in some way relate and be involved or impacted by this inner perception, such as personal relationships for example. In opening with this tension, the reading is as if ‘pointing at it’ i.e. introducing the tension itself as a subject, a topic of study. Then, accompanying the tension, there’s a clear indication concerning it: that this tension or inner conflict is PART of the process. It is not flawed and it is not out of place; it is an intrinsic part of your spiritual path – even if in nature it equates to matters that induce a sense of lack of closure, and of doubt, and therefore can be unsettling and even stressful to some extent, with the possibility of a sense of tangible impact in your emotional state as well as some accompanying affectation in the real world derived from it.

This inner feeling, broadly and deeply speaking, is not something that’s wrong, incorrect, or flawed in any way – even though it might, and will, come across that way at points. What this feeling deep down means, is that there’s an inner spiritual rift that asks to be solved. There’s a sense of unease and turmoil spiritually, that’s requesting healing and resolution – and actually, by that very desire, is thus receiving it. It just so happens that in order to heal something, and in order to handle any spiritual matter, the healing of it will often involve the necessity and the process of coming into close proximity with things that reflect it externally. As it is often customary with experience and life in the physical world. Which is to say that any and all circumstances that are going to make one feel the tension and uneasiness, that are going to induce these feelings and doubts more strongly, and have one placing the questions inside, are the VEHICLE by which the situation is being placed in front of you for you to face it, so you may be in close contact with it. Unpleasant yes, yet sometimes part of the spiritual process. For if there were to be no stakes in it, if things didn’t have a very “real” aspect to them, if it was something that simply stayed “etheric”, theoretical, in the distance, portrayed in a painting hanging on the wall you pass by and forget, then that spiritual matter would remain distant, inconsequential, vague. Spiritual progress sometimes requires weight to situations. That they have importance and consequence in the real world. This is why they will, or they’ll seem they do.

The human coat, that is to say, those ideas, needs, perspectives and priorities, that a purely etheric and boundless spiritual entity wouldn’t have to contend with, but that the human self does (by virtue of living in a “real-world” and putting on a physical body) must be contemplated and involved in the lesson, for that lesson to be real, to exist, to take place. This coat, in your case, happens to reinforce a similar core disparity, essentially between the needs and priorities of the human tasked with navigating the physical world, and the more abstract and unbounded, freedom-based priorities of the spiritual self: how can I be free, but how can I participate, be involved, belong? What is attachment and what isn’t? What is Love and what isn’t? A disparity that is closely dealing with the concept and necessity of freedom. We remind you that your deeply seeded spiritual desire is to rise in consciousness and attain spiritual freedom. This desire for freedom is going to trickle down from your spiritual self onto your conscious awareness. And it will be the most apparent to you, likely and namely, when for example your mind wonders off into contemplating, when you allow yourself to dabble, in the concept of liberating from it all – to whichever extent you allow yourself to, to whichever depth you do so consciously. But essentially coming close in perception to the prospect of releasing things, letting go of them, leaving them behind in some way. Scenarios, real or imaginary, where you’re free from emotion, from weight, from role, obligation, and burdens.

However, freedom doesn’t necessarily mean leaving behind, breaking free from. Freedom can mean feeling free, drawing unto oneself a scenario where one feels free. Granted, some forms of freedom indeed involve leaving things behind – but if the spiritual process that was really meant to take place in a situation is interrupted midway, by leaving it abruptly (hypothetically, let’s say it happened literally), and thus the spiritual process left incomplete, what eventually happens is that the spiritual self – in the same lifetime or some other new one in the future – will find itself back onto a similarly enclosed, restraining situation once again, by choice or inadvertently. Because the spiritual process they needed, and is being asking for, remains unfinished. At that point, of course, once returning and/or seeing oneself back into a situation that is unpleasant and/or with lack of freedom, the self may be tempted to flee again, and may do so in fact, once more not completing the task at hand. Thus repeating a process of returning to a sense of freedom, but at the cost of not truly advancing, and not breaking free from the cycle, leading to cycles where there’s a perpetual approaching and then retreat of the desired spiritual achievement.

With this, we mean to say some types of freedom, in spiritual nature and in terms of spiritual process, are acquired not by leaving the situation but precisely by what’s going to seem contradictory or counter intuitive: undergoing the trial-style situation that, while it may seem to be preventing said freedom, it is being offered in order to extract a new, better, and higher notion of freedom, identity, and sovereignty – while possibly, also, diffusing old patterns of breaking free/being trapped.

Nowhere on this reading will be any information that will state you are forced or under any obligation to remain trapped and bound to a situation that is fundamentally of spiritual misalignment to you, and therefore inappropriate. The issue is discerning whether a situation is of the latter type and meant to be let go, or if it is spiritually meaningful, representing a set of worthwhile challenges to overcome, and therefore something worth investing, or at least reassessing with renewed perspective. We hope this reading is able to paint a clearer and broader picture regarding this central matter, and clarify some of the topics contributing to this situation internally.

1.3 Introduction to Densities

We’ll be referring to the concept of Densities at various points in the reading, and for this reason there’s the need to introduce the concept, so that it may serve as conceptual foundation whenever we touch the topic. In the spirit of saving time so as to cover as much ground as possible, the following is habitually copied and utilized between readings.

All there is in All of Reality, is Consciousness, existing in different levels, or layers, of manifestation. Reality can be divided into these different “layers”, each corresponding to a level of vibration, or frequency, characterizing the Consciousness therein. These layers form a spectrum, ranging from the layers with the lowest frequency, generally speaking corresponding to solid physical matter, all the way to the layers of highest frequency, of subtler substance, and closest to Intelligent Infinity: from where all things come from, and all concepts – including those of layers, frequency, etc – subside and fade. Comparatively speaking, the layers of a lower frequency – i.e. vibrating at a slower rhythm – are said to be more heavy or dense, while the layers of a higher frequency – i.e. vibrating at a comparatively faster rhythm – are said to be lighter, more subtle, less dense. While observing and comparing the layers with one another, we allude to the density that characterizes them. In short, they’re referred to as “Densities”.

All Reality can be observed as being divided into 7 (seven) main, primary Densities. For reference these are numbered from 1 to 7, therefore referred to as 1D, 2D, 3D, etc., in this nomenclature the number refers to the “order” while the D stands for the term “Density”. So 3D stands for 3 rd Density, 4D for 4th Density, and so on. Furthermore, they are ordered by frequency: 1D is the heaviest or most dense, while 7D is the less dense, most subtle. Each primary Density corresponds to a reality, an environment, a “level of existence”, where energy and spiritual entities exist and live, serving the purposes of their individual experiences and lessons. Each Density is characterized by the average Level of Awareness of the spiritual entities inhabiting it who are in lesson. So, for example, in a 3D reality the average Level of Awareness of the entities inhabiting is 3D; in a 4D reality, the average individual Level of Awareness of the entities inhabiting it is 4D. And so on.

The external ‘physical’ environment of a reality (and also the experiences that reality is capable of offering to the entities navigating it) tends to match the current, average level of Awareness of the entities within it. In other words, realities of lower Densities tend to be based in solid physical matter, whereas realities of higher Densities (lighter) tend to become less solid, more subtle, fluid, malleable. Specifically, 3D and 4D realities tend to be based in physical matter, much like on Earth; 5D physical realities start to become more infused with what we would call energy, or ‘subtle substance’; and 6D realities may no longer be called ‘physical’, as they are formed of pure energy. However, the concept of Densities defines first and foremost a spectrum for awareness: they measure the possible levels of beliefs, biases, and perceptions that can be held by spiritual entities at any given point in time, with their highest reference the pristine level of awareness of the Soul as It is closest to Source – and ultimately, the awareness of Source itself. As entities conduct their spiritual journeys with the purpose of raising their awareness, the spectrum of Densities therefore defines, implies, describes, the range of spiritual journeys undertaken by entities, and the lessons they go through in them.

When we use the word Density, we sometimes refer to, or imply, a reality, i.e. an environment, a planet, a location, a “realm”: a set of circumstances and physical properties where entities/individuals are living and accumulating experience. Ex: planet X is a 3D planet, planet Y is a 5D planet. Nevertheless, despite the word Density often implying a physical reality, it fundamentally means, relates, not with the set of circumstances and the physical attributes of that reality, but to the abstract measurement of the Level of Awareness to which that reality corresponds to – which, in turn, points back to the Level of Awareness of the Souled entities inhabiting said reality. Ultimately, the concept of Densities, or Levels of Awareness, always refers to, first and foremost, perception, belief, thought, bias. To the frequency, vibration, level of those thoughts and beliefs (i.e. awareness). Further, to the choices and actions taken by any entities based on those beliefs and thoughts they hold, as well as to the external life circumstances they – either purposefully and/or inadvertently – attract/draw unto themselves to satisfy their personal lessons and choices.

Human beings exist and live, currently, in a 3D reality. In other words, it is a reality whose vibration and experience generally speaking correspond to the 3 rd Density, and matches the overall, average level of awareness of all of the human beings currently in that reality. However, even if the reality is currently 3D, it’s nevertheless possible for each human being to express and/or hold different various levels of Awareness besides 3D. The human is a complex spiritual being, capable of holding and expressing any belief and perception, corresponding to any of the ‘Cosmic’ Densities. So for example, one could exhibit 4D beliefs when dealing with their family; while exhibiting 5D beliefs in their professional environments; while holding 6D beliefs about their spiritual self and personal insightful vision. The “cumulative”, “average”, overall Level of Awareness of an individual will result from the multitude of various perceptions towards the various facets and aspects of their life and existence, as well as their choices and actions in each of those areas.Furthermore, just because a human being is currently undergoing experience and incarnating in a 3D environment, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s “from” that environment. In other words, that this is his current maximum, highest level of Awareness he’s capable of attaining as a spiritual entity in a broad scale. Instead, it may be the case that the spiritual self incarnating as human has already graduated to higher Densities of awareness above 3D in the past – and/or has chosen to project from those Densities – and is now incarnating in 3D, with a 3D awareness and and undergoing experience in the 3D environment. This may happen for a number of reasons: to repeat past lessons in order to reinforce them; to acquire new skills which weren’t integrated in past; to simply explore a new reality and the possibilities it provides; to accumulate experiences that it deems necessary for future endeavors; or to achieve the learning of their lessons in an environment where this learning can be achieved faster.

As a rule of thumb, the lower the Density, the shorter the cycles of experience and leaning, compared to equivalent cycles in other Densities. This is because the overall experience is that much more intense, and difficult. As such, entities may be interested in taking advantage of any available ‘slots’ for experience in lower Densities, such as 3D, because these can act as catalysts for faster learning, allowing them to accomplish more in a much shorter span of time, than what they could otherwise achieve in their more natural, so to speak, current, or original, Level of Awareness. When this is the case, an entity might be living in 3D and going through the 3D lessons allowed by that reality; but each of those lessons will correspond to, overlap with, its original lessons from more subtle Densities, such as 4D, 5D, and so on. In being available and open to the learning through the 3D experience, and graduating from its 3D lessons, the entity may, at the same time, be graduating through its own original lessons, finding questions to its own doubts, and generally accelerating its spiritual journey.

Finally, and generally speaking, it is always the case that whenever entities of more subtle stages of spiritual awareness chose to, so to speak, “turn back” and undergo experience in a lower Density such as 3D, they will always be contributing to the spiritual growth and progress of the 3D reality, and the rest of the entities living there. This takes place both indirectly – simply by their presence which contributes in terms of vibration, energy, and so forth – and possibly also in a more direct manner, due to such entities holding, in some way or another, references, standards, perspectives, and memories, of different ways of doing things, from the realms from whence they came. Such memories and references may not appear clearly within their 3D minds, but they may come forth, at points, under the form of new ideas, ideals, inventions, choices, art, inspiration, creativity, etc.

1.4 Operations Center

The Operations Center of Directors – as we could call it, we may use other names for this – is a crux/flow point between the realms of pure energy and abstract consciousness, or “inner realms”, and the realms of physical matter, or “outer realms”, where said matter exists, and where Souls venture forth into the latter coming from the former, to conduct their journeys of discovery. This Center is not so much of a specific place, although it very much be perceived, experienced, and interacted with as such, if needs be, if it suits one’s awareness and perceptions. But metaphysically it is also more of an interface, a ‘membrane’, or perhaps a bridge of sorts. It is itself a state of constant flow through which energy comes from the subtle and converts into what we know as the physical, matter, and all of its constituents. The membrane we speak of sits between the purely subtle and the physical.

We’ll offer an analogy with the chakras in the human body. In the human body you have what you’d call the chakras which you’d describe as energy centers, or maybe “balls of energy”. But despite indeed being specific points of energy one may consider individually, one at a time, they are also at the same time part of a larger, bigger flow or system, that happens to coalesce at different “spots”, like whirlpools that form naturally in a river – yes, an analogy within an analogy. The constant flow of the river, that is to say, of the energy of the body, ends up forming the chakras in a natural manner. Each chakra represents a part or an aspect of the system (ex: physical/protection, emotional, mental, and so on.) and so their existence facilitates accessing and interacting with that one aspect of the system. Otherwise all of the energies would have to be considered ‘jumbled’ together, and would be more difficult to tell apart. But at the same time, the energy of the chakra is also just a ‘projection’ or explicitation of an energy that exists through the system itself. In short, each chakra is as much as a representation of a part of the energy of the system, as they are also made of it.

This analogy serves to illustrate the Center we are discussing. The Directors’ Operations Center is not just a specific “thing” or place, but a part of the system of manifestation of Creation, in this case of the outer realms specifically. To be more poetic about it, it is nowhere, and it is everywhere. And this center is akin to a membrane of sorts, one which is and results of a state of continual flux, through which all of the physical matter in the Universe “passes” (or is passing) and comes to be, and through which it is governed and directed – hence the name, Directors. In the scale of Densities, this Director Center, or this membrane or “flux”, exists primarily in, is “of”, the 5th Density. This is because in the scale of Densities – and we are now referring to what the Densities correspond to in terms of how Creation is structured physically – 6D corresponds to the realms of pure, abstract consciousness, the “inner realms”, while 5D is the first realm of the physical matter, where Souls can incarnate in physical bodies, thus the beginning of the “outer realms”.

We could say that the 5th Density as a whole is akin to a stepping stone, or an interface of sorts, standing between the outer realms (6D and above) and the inner ones (5D and below), existing between two worlds of a different nature. This is perhaps most true to its top half. The 5th Density can be seen as being divided into two halves, a ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ one. The top half in terms of consciousness is more neutral and balanced, and it tends to be a pristine representation of the abstract as manifesting in the physical. And it is the first physical reality entities tend to encounter as they approach the outer realms for exploration. While the lower or bottom half of 5D is one step further into the realms of the physical, and is comparatively denser in nature, more masculine-energy focused (rather than being neutral), thus carrying with it in it a bit more tension, a little bit more distance to pure abstract consciousness, and therefore with a little more movement, and drama. For an incarnated self, spiritual clarity become a little bit less immediate, a little more distant, relative to the purity of thought and clarity in the Light. And so one’s perception in the bottom half may become that much more intense, more grave and agitated, and less clear. But we digress.

By virtue of being itself a membrane, or a state of flux, between the subtle and the material, the Operations Center in itself can be observed to be of a 5D vibratory state. If we were to be technically accurate, then we’d have to say this membrane stands with a foot on each side of the ‘door’, figuratively speaking: that is to say, with characteristics both of 5D and of 6D. But, we’ll classify it as being predominantly 5D in nature. Because in function, it relates closely to the mission and purpose of directing and making the realms of physical possible, literally manifesting them into existence – and being part of them at the same time, like the analogy with the chakras. This is akin to observe how the top half of 5D is an equilibrium of both ‘sides’, the inner and the outer realms; it is the level where the abstract/energetic and the physical/tangible meet, and exist in equal measure, and in perfect equilibrium. The representation of the top half 5D in the Kabbalah’s Tree of Life is the Daath plane.

It is understandable, then, that someone coming from this role, the Directors, will in its nature also come with each foot always on each side of the door, that is to say, with an eye towards the physical, taking part and being involved in the stories that unfold there, but at the same time always with a very abstract, insight-driven and detached ‘vision’, a way of looking at things, coming from its background.

1.5 Perennial Doubt

This inner dual vision can be both a blessing, and also a burden at times.

Spiritually you tend to come into incarnation with both of these aspects simultaneously, in each incarnation, at least to the extent as the vibratory qualities of your personal process at the time will allow. This is because this inner abstract/detached vision fundamentally lends a sense of safety in the long run. To put it simply, the abstract/detached inner perspective is practical and grounds you, informing your choices while as the incarnated self. It also tends to have an overall, cumulative effect, across many incarnations and personal choices made therein, to reduce straying away from the Light and as a consequence accruing in karma. In other words, it makes you feel safe, or safer, and legitimately so. It could be said it is a way of you to keep you in the Light while you’re traveling, that is to say, while you’re exploring physical matter. The abstract/detached side to you indeed is a true and legitimate spiritual connection from within, and it is natural you tend to find both refuge and identity there. Further, whenever in the past you’d felt stuck or trapped, maybe you’d be tempted to escape and seek freedom in it. Instinctively you’re going to prize your personal freedom very much – spiritually this is an archetypal trait of 5D, the level of awareness of Freedom. A desire to seek freedom corresponds to an instinct of returning to an ‘open access’ to this inner connection within, for example for this connection to be unobstructed by, or with less interference from, external beliefs and influences, worries, obligations, and so on.

On the other hand, this vision will also have its own share of drawbacks and challenges – as anything one brings with them onto physical matter, of the Light or otherwise, will give rise. First, the detached energy is, well, detached: it might at points be caring or interested to an extent, but it is ultimately and fundamentally uninvolved with whatever stories and happenings are taking place in the physical plane. As such, this perspective can be somewhat insensitive and impersonal at times, at least when compared to the norm of human perspectives. Also, related to the previous points, this detachment could also have helped in the past make decisions to leave situations of imbalance, of negative attachment, of energy draining, and of toxicity – but maybe also leaving those situations that could have been salvageable, manageable, and/or of lesson, in which case there would be an originating or propagating of the specific karma that mentioned before,of leaving early situations without completing the lessons, therefore creating the necessity in the future of being as if ‘forced’ to return to them, if not the same, a similar situation.

Today, as residue of such karmic attribute, there could always be a lingering doubt whether the situation you’re in is appropriate and challenges are lessons to overcome with ‘happy days’ after them, or, if they’re fundamentally unsolvable and/or stagnant, and you should leave them instead. You may also find yourself trying to escape situations of oppression, unfairness, injustice, etc, yet seemingly somehow lacking the ‘pulling power’ to completely escape them, possibly finding yourself submitting to them once more. These would be reflections of such conundrums, essentially related to 5D lessons in essence.

1.6 Uneasy (I)

One aspect pressing on the inner uneasiness is the fact it’s going to be highly unlikely for other individuals to share this same inner dual vision. This pertains to the nature of the spiritual lesson at hand, as we hope it becomes clearer over the course of the reading.

At points it could theoretically be the case that those who engage the self during the incarnation could have a similar spiritual background in the Directors – in which case they could have the same type of dual perspective within. However this is not going to be the case often, not with regularity. First because in human-to-human relationships the norm is for relationships (even those that are spiritually aligned) are going to contemplate two individuals of unequal mismatching Densities in spiritual origin ex: one of 4D and the other of 5D, one of 5D and the other of 6D, etc. This is a general norm for all humans and entities in lesson, it is not just for this case. This is so in the exchange within relationships there can be the sharing not just of Love but of spiritual growth and differing perspectives as well, conducive of spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is a baseline rule whenever two individuals come together and share experiences, even if it might not seem that way consciously. When one drawn to and/or falls in love with another, they’re not formulating it with “I want to share spiritual experiences”; rather, there are various aspects at their core that both are drawn to the other, and that are valued in them.

The second reason for spiritual backgrounds not being exactly the same between two individuals, closely related with the first one, is that in your particular case there’s an interest from the spiritual self in exploring and garnering experience outside of the ‘native’ spiritual context identity of the Directors. So intrinsically this dictates that experiences away from this context are going to be drawn to the self. Given this context, meeting someone of the same spiritual background would actually stunt spiritual growth – it could even lead to its regression, devolution. As a consequence most of any viable relationships, as well as friendships, partnerships, or otherwise interpersonal connections etc. during the lifetime are likely to be felt as not sharing this particular inner insight. This is by design.

But it is understood how this difference can create contrast with others and quite a bit of uneasiness. It may play with, and reinforce, the aspects of doubting and tension mentioned earlier, which to an extent were mentioned in previous readings: what is real and what is illusory, what is true Love and what is personal attachments and therefore burdens, and so on. Essentially, whenever there’s a contract of any kind with another individual met during the incarnation – “contract” in a spiritual sense, as in meeting another, be it in a fleeting manner of lasting for as long as lasts and of any type, romantic, marriage, familiar, friendship etc. – you are likely going to feel, to some extent, as if you’re hiding something from the other. It’s as if you’re holding a side to you that the other doesn’t have, won’t be able to understand, and therefore you can’t bring into the common space. But this is going to make you feel you’re hiding something, if not even deceiving the other somehow. Essentially, you’ll feel as having to hide a part of you, keep it secluded, from the shared space in the connection, while the other is either oblivious to this, unaware of it, and being asked and expected to be fully and completely in the relationship, when she’s unable to. This perception and feeling of this may not be fully conscious, understood clearly and vividly, instead perhaps being somewhat subtle, subconscious, of a emotional/spiritual nature. But it could be felt, perhaps, as a form of unfairness, inequality, deceit, dishonesty, if not outright betrayal even. Which is another component adding to the sense of pressure/tension building up within.

This uneasiness can and will push against the previously mentioned kernel of seeking freedom, by making you feel trapped by tension and obligation, possibly having you harbor an extent of a desire to abandon the connection, to liberate from the associated feelings of guilt, tension, and so on you feel within it – thus creating even more guilt, even more tension, even more sensation of dishonesty, even more guilt, thus even more sense of oppression and entrapment, and so on. Overall, the perception of inequality can create a heightened uneasiness within, whenever in connection with another. It could play with, and be a reflection/manifestation of, those inner aspects that may be labeled/identified/suspected as being of the autistic spectrum.

On the other hand, the fact is, that if you were to always stay one hundred percent true to your inner detached insight, if you were to never come close to another and try to find a compromise between this inner traits, and the equally strong necessity of engaging others for nurturing, support, and comfort, you’d never be able to commence a relationship, and be in a shared space of mutual experience, to any meaningful capacity. So in essence there’s an attempt at a compromise, but also an uneasy struggle nonetheless, in the coming together with another individual. This compromise permits shared and fulfilling experience in the human reality – even if that in itself has been unable to completely resolve the inner distress that still lingers. Perhaps unconsciously you expected the relationship itself to dissolve these doubts due to the experience of love, but if that was the case then you were surprised by the fact that these things seemed to become more accentuated and intense from it instead.

In a more general note, we would observe that by virtue of this inner aspect with a more detached and abstract vision of reality, you may feel that it prevents you from truly and completely IMMERSING yourself in moments and experiences, i.e. “getting completely LOST” in them. This is a byproduct of, a related effect with, the previous points. You might feel as if the inner vision that is pragmatic forever preventing you from becoming truly involved in physical matter – perhaps where the perception of this side being a ‘curse’ can be stronger. Alternatively and/or as a side effect there may be a sensation you can’t quite ever truly surrender, or relax, let go, become tranquil. It would be possible this effect of a spiritual nature indirectly creates sleep issues or irregularity, such as insomnia for example. The perception of never being truly able to let go, and/or immerse/surrender to experiences completely, in part comes from the original intention of bringing the inner pragmatic side of the Directors with you into the physical. And the reasoning for this intention was, for this aspect of you to be a reference that could function as an anchor to her origins. Broadly speaking, across many incarnations, this aspect of you would serve the purpose of helping her not become as LOST in physical matter, and more easily find her way back Home – spiritually speaking – when the timing for that process to commence. In other words, this spiritual reference would work as a way to expedite the process of spiritual growth and “retrieval”, if you will, spiritually speaking, in terms of the personal spiritual process.

1.7 Uneasy (II): Real and Illusion

As we explore the current context – tension, uneasiness, inner conflict – we may additionally factor in the questioning of what is real and what is illusory, as mentioned in preceding readings. We’ll start by stating this doubt connects with the duality between abstract and tangible that is contained within. Being in both worlds simultaneously, the ‘ethereal’ and the physical, you’re going to see reality as if with two sets of eyes superimposed on top of each other, as if messing with your perception. The disparity between real and illusion can have spiritual and emotional toll within, with a number of possible different effects. As mentioned before, this will stay partially on the subconscious and/or on a subtle level, probably not risen fully to the conscious and logical self, rather staying fairly subtle and nuanced, at least to some extent. But essentially, you’ll wonder if the relationship itself is real, if the Love is real (and if Love itself is real), if the other person’s Soul is real and how the connection with them matters, if what is lived and experiences truly matter, or if it’s all illusion.

In terms of real-life ‘application’ so to speak, the basic doubt of whether things are ultimately real of illusory/transient isn’t restricted to the realm of relationships: it can apply to any area of life. However and nevertheless, you’ll observe that this doubt will tend to feel closer, be more present, in this realm. In fact, you may observe the arena of partnership, family, and love, as the realm where the issue is tackled more prominently. This is the realms where the questioning is going to be explored more in depth and/or with consequence. How so? Because the question is brought into the practical choices made in life in terms of who to partner and how to engage them, how to emotionally navigate the relationship, while at the same time affecting the perception of choice, consequence, and personal responsibility, in this arena. The doubt questions how real and meaningful the connection with another can ever be, how important real life experiences and consequences are. So consequences of choices within the relationship may have to be measured or equated as part of the doubting.

Additionally, this doubt/conflict of an inner nature could also lead to a type of melancholy-style effects. You may feel something along the lines of, ‘ultimately at the end of this it all ends and we all go away’, and because of it, you may tend to not commit fully to the relationship, as sort of way to emotionally ‘cut your losses’. Yet, at the same time, you may for example start missing things, the experiences, the connections, somewhat paradoxically in advance i.e. before they’re ever actually put in question or end, even though they’re “right there”, in a manner of speaking. These are possibilities of inner reactions to the doubting, forms of trying to deal, to cope, with all those things that are happening within, being being generated by the doubt. These effects may and will factor in the patterns previously addressed. When there’s a tendency to feel limited and conditioned by an attachment, by its burdens and responsibilities, this effect may and will add up to the tension, and to an aspiration of leave things behind. These dynamics within pattern may pick up on the doubt itself – that is to say, that all may ultimately just be an illusion and doesn’t matter – and use them as a pretext/excuse to pull away emotionally from the connections with others. In other words, adding fuel to the fire so to speak, the doubt effectively being used as a distraction of sorts. As a result the tension will pile up even more.

Note that none of the information presented so far is being put forth with any hint of judgment or criticism whatsoever. We mean not to say you’re actually deceiving anyone, only that you have that perception. At no point, neither previously nor going forward, did we mean you are wrong, flawed, or a ‘bad person’, in any way. At no point did we imply there are parts to you that somehow are faulty and need to be ‘fixed’, or removed from the equation. Our sole intention in putting forth this information, is so that we may increase the awareness and perception of it more explicitly. So that it may then be addressed and clarified in the course of the reading. To summarize, the overall effect we’ve described can take its toll on the emotional commitment to connections and relationships that are held, even if they were, and are still, chosen spiritually and wholeheartedly. The practical effect would be akin to a tendency to keeping one foot on either side of the door, as if ready to leave at any moment, in this case, in terms of the commitment to situations and people in the real life.

So let us address this real-vs-illusion conflict.

1.8 Conflict

The truth is this: there is no conflict.

We know, it is a simplistic answer. But, there really isn’t. Allow us to explain.

The only reason you’re experiencing inner conflict is, primarily, because of the tension. This tension is in part produced by virtue of having come forth into the physical with both aspects of your spiritual background connected within: the abstract and to the tangible. And not because there’s an actual conflict, that is to say, because there’s an unresolved issue to be solved. So we repeat: the issue isn’t the subject matter in and of itself, but the conflict itself: the tension, the distress, the anxiety, etc. First, this tension comes from, and is intensified by, the process of incarnating, in this case in 3D. This process by nature induces a ‘squashing’ of spiritual awareness itself, the result of which is exacerbating the two aspects and making them look more distant, farther apart, separate and incompatible. There is what is (or aught to be) real, eternal, truthful, and then there’s what’s temporary, unimportant, or just outright false, and both of these polar opposites are seen and felt as completely apart, distant from each other, without any compatibility, overlap, common ground, or ultimate truth.

There was here perhaps some expectation for a ‘big reveal’ that could enlighten and dissipate the doubt and end the tension. Indeed our goal is assisting in doing just that, but the source of the issue isn’t the existence of a spiritual doubt. Now, to be sure, there’s more to say about this, metaphysically speaking. It’s just the case that, at the end of the explanation and of the knowledge, it will all boil down to this: the point of origin of the conflict itself is the Director nature, and the tension deriving from it. Still, allow us to backtrack for a moment here, as we elaborate on the spiritual matter itself. The question between reality/permanency, and illusory/impermanence, can be seen as an extension of the questioning of the identity of the Soul throughout Creation – not just by the human on Earth, but by spiritual entities themselves! This questioning goes something like this: is each Soul its own sovereign self, or are we all just one big amorphous, Infinite Blob? – so to speak. We could also extent this questioning to the deepest spiritual questions there are. Who are we? Why are we here? Why? And so on. So to a fair extent, these are actually themes or lines of questioning that run across Creation, on many different levels, that is to say, not really circumscribed exclusively to the physical human or to the realms of incarnation, but rather they can be valid lines of questioning for spiritual entities themselves, even abstract ones, and in other realms other than Earth.

Now. One primary factor for this questioning to arise, is because it is, legitimately and naturally, disconcerting for a spiritual entity, for any spiritual entity, to contemplate being a projection of a larger whole – or of Source for that matter. What is a “projection”? To explain this succinctly we’ll refer to an analogy with the chakras we used before. Each chakra is an individualization, a representation, of one specific type of energy that exists in the human subtle body system, e.g.: “red” energy, “yellow” energy, “indigo” energy, and so on. Each chakra is its own entity, with its own “individual” features and traits, but at the same time its essence is also part of the whole, in the sense a chakra stands for a type of energy that already exists as part of, within, the whole energetic system.

This example is loosely analogous to the way Abstract Intelligent Consciousness individualizes, makes explicit, “projects” itself, as certain individual parts who are constituents of itself. One specific example of such projection being the process of incarnation itself: a spiritual entity coming in, or “projecting” into, a physical body. Projections of Consciousness occur a little throughout Creation, on many levels, without having to involve incarnation. Consciousness, as you may have heard elsewhere, can refract and “divide” at any point, at any level, a process which we are referring to here as “projection”. And as a norm, this implies a subdivision of a whole into one of the parts, much like a chakra represents a portion of the totality of the subtle body’s energy, but at the same time it is made of that energy. Ultimately, each Soul is a projection of Source Itself, at the same time whole unto Itself, but also part of the Whole which is Source. The Soul can be seen as the most fundamental projection of Consciousness there is.

It happens that when you, a Intelligent whole, is projecting as one of its parts, or “aspects”, you’re going to be able to see yourself as the aspect, at your own will, with its individuality and particularities, so with an awareness/perception that corresponds just to the part rather than the expanded whole, but still in full sovereignty, with full Free Will, with sentience and intelligence, inherited from the whole. But the Whole that projected Itself as a part can at the same time still sustain its own awareness as the whole, while being free to shift its perspective onto that of the aspect, holding both at the same time. And this is the fundamental “trick” of Consciousness of this Universe: as consciousness projects, the point of view whole and that of the aspect can coexist simultaneously. This projection or division of Consciousness occurs so that there can be a more specific and closer focus on the exploration of each of the aspects, exploring Creation as Itself. In order for this spiritual process to occur more effectively, a certain distance between the individual identity of the whole and of the part must often be placed, so the part can more freely wonder on its own, autonomously, on its own accord, without being constantly reminded reminded that it is not really just a part, but the larger whole. Not a distance in physical space, but a distance in awareness. In how well the aspect can still realize and recall they are still, ultimately, the Whole, just from a different point of view on Itself.

The disconcerting “part”, all across Creation, comes when enough distance has been placed between the aspect and the whole it is projecting from (at whichever level this takes place) that the aspect starts to think and worry that returning to the whole means giving up on its own sense of identity. This is an archetypal fear that is more or less natural, and common, throughout the realms and to spiritual entities, and that is, when I transition “upward” (unproject) I will dissolve into nothingness i.e. I will be assimilated into a Whole and my identity of self will disappear. The closest match of this perception in the human reality would be the instinctive fear of death.

Let us now jump to the “end” and summarize: an aspect/entity/Soul never loses its own sense of self when realizing, and “merging back into” i.e. ultimately returning to, its own source or whole. If anything, doing so is an expansion of its awareness, realizing itself as being the whole. But that does not constitute dissolution of its identity. Much like a chakra is an individualization of an energy that already exists within the broader subtle body, a spiritual entity is an aspect who already exists in the whole, and doesn’t cease existing just because it decided to realize itself as part of the larger self. So an aspect doesn’t lose the identity it garnered and defined for itself while exploration the lower realms: in fact, it enhanced it, bringing it back when “returning Home”. The aspect returns with a heightened sense of identity unto itself. Because that’s precisely the whole point of Consciousness projecting in the Universe: to solidify, make more explicit, achiever greater degrees of definition, of its own sense of identity.

Returning to the internal conflict at hand.

The conflict within you, that is to say the emotional charge about this subject matter, derives in part from bringing your essence of two sides into incarnation, containing strong connections to both to the abstract realms, as well as to the tangible ones. Incarnating into a physical body by nature involves a limitation of one’s awareness, and this limitation creates an intensification of the disparity between any two aspects, making them seem as separate, distant, opposing. This is reinforced by the connection to the abstract itself. From it, you are very much aware the physical reality is ultimately more or less a holographic setting, run and managed in the background – said running and management of which you are very much in tune with! You could say you’re “in the know” of its functioning. And so the understanding of some things being “unreal”, and how they “really work”, is an intrinsically familiar knowledge to you. So as you walk around, you’re seeing simultaneously reality and illusion, tangible and impermanence. A part of the conflict comes from your mind attempting to rationalize the connection to both worlds you see simultaneously.

From the point of view of Spirit (capital S i.e. the abstract, the Light, the perspective held in realms of higher consciousness) it is known all beings are intertwined and connected while navigating Creation, and all are part of the whole, this being self-evident. All have their own identity, sovereignty, and independence, while simultaneously being integral parts of a bigger picture. That is not to say that the topic of spiritual identity, transience vs impermanence, matter vs meaning, etc. isn’t also valid spiritually in a higher sense, as we’ve seen. We went to some lengths to show how this matter does have a match to deeper spiritual questions, concerning the very nature of Consciousness, of identity, and of everything, that to some extent runs across Creation, and are reason for entities to conduct their spiritual journeys. It’s just that from Spirit there is no conflict about this.

1.9 Participation

For a human being, a Cosmic spiritual entity undertaking an experience in a physical body for a time, there’s sometimes a tendency to create and “make a bid deal” so to speak, out of internal conflicts and doubts, such as those addressed here. Mind you, we wish not to underplay the magnitude of lessons that derive from your inner perceptions, as these are the mechanism by which lessons are undertaken in the physical worlds. To an extent this distortion in perception is a natural consequence of the physical experience. So we’re not saying by any means to not mind the conflict, we’re not saying it doesn’t matter to you, we’re not downplaying it. We mean only and precisely to diffuse some of the weight of the concerns and charge, by, hopefully, gradually disclosing the various aspects underlying to them, one at a time.

What happens is that the particular traits of your spiritual background double down on the sense of distress. Being PART of, being a participant in, the physical experience yourself, isn’t necessarily something that comes naturally to you, first because of the nature of being a Director who is a dutiful watcher/overseer above all else, second because of the anchor to the abstract that is always present, perpetually reminding you of the ephemeral nature of the physical. So it is natural for you to experience a certain level of discomfort in the human experience in certain aspects. The choice had some ‘advantages’, namely keeping you closer to your Light, while it also some ‘drawbacks’, if you can call them that, such as the sensation of never feeling truly being totally immersed/involved for example.

The choice of always bringing the abstract half of you is neither “good” nor “bad”. It is a long-form choice made on the spiritual level. To be a seeker in the physical realms can be a risky, unsafe, dangerous – not for the Soul on the higher levels, and not irrevocably in a spiritual sense, but nevertheless for the self who goes in to incarnate, for a time. As stated before, coming in with this anchor to the abstract, both for the long run and for this one lifetime, was a way to keep oneself bound to responsibility, to stay closer to integrity, throughout. Being a Director comes with a level of dutiful responsibility in one’s awareness, a level of discipline, or perhaps “rigidness” if you will: you wish to stay in integrity, you wish to serve in balance, and not fall into deceit, wrongfulness, imbalance. This is fundamentally a deeply rooted spiritual directive. In fact this is where much of the tension comes from, and it’s one of the reasons why you tend to feel a sense of guilt from the tensions mentioned earlier, namely in connecting with others. The tension and conflict have multiple aspects, which we’re gradually addressing, one at a time.

But despite the participation in the physical being somewhat foreign, you also came in out of passion. For a sense of fun. This is truly why you came here – broadly speaking, on Earth and on the physical plane. You are here because you also had the deep desire to GO IN. To participate. To be part of the game. Maybe it wouldn’t be so easy to go in and just fit in completely, as if you hadn’t knowledge about how things work. But you still had a deep desire to partake in what you helped create. You are here truly out of deep spiritual joy: for the prospect of not just staying in the abstract, but also being part of the tangible. Because both are part of you.

Part II: Gateway

2.1 Architecture

The Directors are a “Gateway”: a translation between the ‘etheric’ or energetic, and the processes of that translation that continually manifest and direct physical matter. This Gateway is continual, in a perpetual state of flux, exists across Creation, and is active at all times. It is part of maintaining the physical realms in existence, and all things in it. Because they are directly involved with the processes that manifest and govern physical matter, their function is also therefore closely related with what you’d call the “Law of Attraction”, a reference to how matter and circumstances in the physical continually shift and adjust, in this specific case to match the energy of Souled beings in incarnation.

The Directors are simultaneously self-aware, intelligent energy, and in equal measure also are fulfilling work that is, if you will, automatic i.e. that is valid ‘no matter what’. Let us offer an analogy to this.

If one were to leave the physical Universe entirely to its own devices, that is to say, without any form of intelligent intervention by sentient beings or ethereal intelligence, the same processes that happen there would still continue to occur, albeit in a more or less chaotic/random fashion: birth and death of solar systems; formation of planets and appearance of physical life in some of them; the cycles of stars and galaxies; and so on and so forth. These process are to an extent physical and ‘automatic’. In this analogy, this corresponds to the “automatic” aspect of the Directors: the rules and laws in the Universe that are always valid and will always work, and maintain the physical in place, functioning. So the Directors aren’t just about the Law of Attraction in terms of esoterics, they’re actually closely related to all laws, like those of physics for example, governing the physical Universe. Now, returning to the analogy, sometimes it happens that intelligent intervention does occur a little across space and time, ob various levels of appreciation of what ‘intelligent’ is, but broadly speaking outside of those mechanic, automatic processes. A sentient group arrives at a planet for example, or an angelic energy arrives to assist the development of a civilization at a critical junction of their development. By these interventions, and generally speaking, the naturally occurring laws and processes will be used and harnessed in ways so that they’re going to be expedited. As an example, biological life on the planet may flourish more rapidly, or maybe the knowledge of an existing civilization evolves faster than otherwise would if left to its own devices. An equivalent analogy would be to compare a garden where food is grown, with edibles foraged in vegetation that ls left to grow wildly: one process is more ‘natural’, while the other, still naturally-based, is intelligently harnessed and arranged to wield more results. Nature itself has its own ways; yet at the same time there are forms of harnessing its same processes (and not necessarily implying imbalance or lack of integrity) which is done in order to get the most out of them.

Yet another analogy in this regard could be established with the life of the human being. The human, as we stated, is continually choosing, both consciously and unconsciously (with thoughts and actions), and by virtue of those choices they will be served matching life circumstances reflecting those choices back to them, i.e. the Law of Attraction. This would be likened to the more or less ‘automatic’ aspect to this equation, in the sense the human being has its own process of living that metaphysically speaking works automatically. But we must also factor in the process of influence, guidance, management, and direction, offered ‘externally’ by their spiritual entourage supporting them in the process, vowing to accompany the human throughout every moment of their life, and steering them as much as possible towards their spiritually desired goals. So this second aspect would the more “intervention” aspect of the process, in this case offered by a “higher” intelligence – comparatively speaking, relative to the regular awareness of the human reality.

These analogies show the more intelligent or intervention-based aspect of what the Directors do: they are the natural laws and process, but they can take the initiative to actively intervene in those same processes, to adjust, modify, tinker, design, and optimize. Again, both automatic and intelligent. By virtue of their nature and their role, the energy of the Directors has a more objective side, one which is more bound to laws, to norms, form and order, designed to sustain a model and a state of affairs, and requiting a fixed functioning of things in a certain way, therefore naturally rigid and uncompromising. Then, it also has a more subjective side, one which is more free to take the initiative, to decide to “go in”, intervene, take action – and sometimes participate actively. The application of these two energies combined is used to direct the manifestation and governance of physical matter, hence the name Directors. These two aspects also represent/reflect the broad-level dichotomy in the Universe between ENERGY – the thing that is directed, what is used to create, and is made manifest – and CONSCIOUSNESS – who is doing the directing, who has designed and is ruling over the process.

These two aspects are an alternate but equivalent take to the two spiritual sides within Penelope, reinstating the existing mix between abstract/detached (objective) and involved/caring (subjective). You could see these two modalities as another version of standing in-between two worlds.

2.2 The “B” Side

Manifestation, i.e. the direction of energy, is something that happens all across Reality, on many different levels, an illustrative example being the laws of attraction. It happens we’ve been focusing more on the manifestation of the physical Universe more, and the role played by the Directors in that process, for the sake of simplification and due to the proximity of the context to Penelope as a spiritual entity. We’ve framed this in the context of the ‘interface’ between ethereal and physical.

Throughout Spirit there is a plethora of hierarchies, Angels, Devas, Souls in lesson, and so on, all of them reflecting the nature of Intelligent Infinity, and how said intelligence has expanded into the Universe. But the Directors serve functions that do not just encompasses Souls in Lesson (incarnation) or circumstances of particular spiritual significance, but pertain to ALL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION. In other words, they don’t just deals with Souls and their lessons, but with THINGS as well, even those with a reduced degree of, shall we say, awareness, or meaning. Now, you could argue everything that exists, and all things that ever happen in the physical, have some intelligence, and some spiritual significance to them; yet there are various gradations to this significance, with not all of them being highly relevant. The coin you just found on the ground might be a sign of the Universe for you… or it could just be a coin on the ground.

Some planets are just rocks floating in space – until sometimes they aren’t, when Spirit happens to formulate a plan for one of them. But they may be just that. Some planets occupy a more peripheral role in terms of spiritual lesson, maybe serving more to try out new life forms, new flora and fauna, but not human Souls in lesson. Of course, one of these planets may turn out so well, be developed and fine-tuned with such great results – in terms of its ecosystem and environmental characteristics – that it will later be deemed suitable for incarnation of Souls, and chosen to be used that way. But with all of this we want to convey that there’s a spectrum, a gradation, of spiritual relevancy for what exists in physical matter, and at one end of the spectrum – the objective end – are the ‘raw’ laws of physics that govern physical matter that, while designed from the infinite wisdom of Creation, the processes sustained by them may not be of any particular spiritual significance, at least in any particular time. These include the laws of physics, gravity, linear time, and so on. Yet, the Directors will still be responsible for them.

The Directors are as much as a formal, ordered energy, as they are intelligent sentience. They are as much of a group of intelligent, sovereign entities, as they are a collective substance. In this sense they themselves are a bridge between two worlds. This is also why you would bring this trait with you whenever you go, whenever you incarnate, at least to some extent. With this being said, we must also state this: the Directors are the TECHNICAL and the OBJECTIVE first and foremost. By ‘first and foremost’ we mean by default: the laws of physics are absolute, and will run no matter what – they have to. These are rules that may never falter or waver, may not open an exception to a friend, may not rest or sleep, may not take a time-out from boredom or tiredness, and must always be observed unconditionally – unless perhaps if actively indicated otherwise, for example by an intelligently-designed intervention of some kind. But that’s the exception. Otherwise, its rules are rigid in nature, as much as the physical that they form must be rigid, tangible, and “real”. This is the aforementioned intrinsic aspect to the essence of Directors that is of unconditional, undisputed observation of rule and law. Because that is how the Universe must work.

The Directors do have their more free and inventive aspects as well, as we stated. Even though it’s not “by default” i.e. driven by the necessity of keeping the Universe functioning, we must nevertheless state this aspect does exists in equal measure within them. This aspect has the ability to feel, to have intentions, to wonder and question, and to choose (Free Will). One thing you may observe with the Directors is that their two aspects combine, for one, into a natural passion that will often lie with the THING, that is to say, with what is created across the Universe. With the planet, with the scenery, with Nature, with the systems that form. To some extent, with the creation process in itself. Directors are artists. And the material Universe is their closest-to-the-heart notion of ART. This difference in the two aspects is adding to the rift, and to a possible perception of ‘weirdness’ within Penelope’s energy. You’re going to feel different in nature from others, as there’s a B-side to you that is rather objective, pragmatic, maybe unreasonable and uncompromising. And while this side has a spiritual reason to be, and it’s going to be useful and important at points, in certain circumstances, there may also be as we seen a tendency to try to hide it, to feel a degree of shame and guilt about it, maybe even see it as a problem. Because this side can be perceived as highly insensitive and detached. It can be quite rigid and single-minded, and not people-driven at all, contrasting greatly with the more common human references of navigating interpersonal relationships, principles of openness and warmth in interacting with another, feeling feelings, and so on. So this sensation of difference and guilt will likely compound with the previously mentioned sensations also.

2.3 Free Will

From within the context of the more rigid law-related energy of the Directors, there’s going to be the space for the energy to move forward and intervene, take action, to modify or introduce change. Doing so involves choice – the choice of moving forth, beyond what the laws say/dictate, to do something beyond them. That intrinsically implies Free Will.

Free Will is a sacred aspect of Infinite Intelligence. Souls inherit the cosmic trait of Creation of… creating: not just new things out of nothing, but also their own paths, by their choices. And they do so with what we’ll call “Free Will”. Whenever there is the advent of Free Will, there’s intrinsically a Soul – a spark of Creation. A crucial aspect: from within the energy of the Directors, the exercise of choice of moving forward and beyond the rules/laws to intervene, is the space where new Souls realize themselves from within this energy. This was your case. You realized yourself as a Soul in this manner: by exercising your own Free Will, as an autonomous being, not just strictly bound to the rules and laws of the Directors, but having the Free Will to apply them, use them, working with them, and choosing when to go beyond them, or not.

You might of course wonder: if new Souls form “within“ something, then does that mean not all of that something is Soul-based? This may also sound disconcerting. But we mentioned how the Directors are both individual and collective energy; we referred to them as standing halfway between two worlds – actually several sets of two worlds by now. This is also true here: they are both energy and consciousness. A correct analogy to this would be to refer to nebulae in space where new stars are formed. A nebula is a diffuse collection of debris, dust, gases, and other materials, which will often act as a birthplace, or a nursery, for new stars, the elements in them becoming the foundational materials for those new stars. In this analogy each star in the nebula represents a clearly defined and identifiable Soul, while the nebula itself represents the more diffuse energy of the Directors, the ‘field’ surrounding them.

A Soul is a very special component in the Universe. All of Creation stems from Infinite Intelligence, but not everything in existence is intelligent, at least not in the same way, as we’ve said – a planet can just be a rock in space; a coin in the ground can just be a coin in the ground. A Soul is a spark, a projection from Creation, inheriting its Free Will and ability to choose, and to create – a projection the essential metaphysical mechanisms of which we referred to before. The key aspect to retain here, is the exercise of Free Will the Soul has. The ‘native’ energy of the Directors is law-abiding and matter-related. In some ways it can almost be likened to a ‘robotic’ functioning in a sense, as it is akin to a programming that must be always running by default, even without active intelligent intervention. An analogy to this aspect would be the automatic processes of the biological human body – the various systems for breathing, digestion, circulation, immunity, and so on – that need to be taking place without you consciously governing them. The body and its systems do have an intelligence of their own to be sure; and to some extent you may also take control of them to an extent – for example you can temporarily control your breathing – but otherwise they’ll run on “automatic mode” without you having to do anything, when you forget about breathing, you will continue to do so even as you’re no longer controlling it directly. So in the human body you have a more ‘automatic’ part, and then you have your conscious awareness, that is to say, your more Soul-like part. This is yet another parallel to the duality of the two energies to the Directors, one being more objective, functional, practical, and rigid, while another more choice-related, creative, and free.

The former can adds to the guilt, it is a strong factor in its presence. This is because of the sense of ‘responsibility’ of the functional energy – which is possibly best described not so much as ‘responsibility’ per se, as much as rigid functioning i.e. a highly strict, matter-related, ‘automatic’, no-exceptions, strict abiding to rules. So this side is going to make you feel (or at least wonder) that if you happen to cross any rules – whichever rules/norms you have adopted in life, from others, from society, from family, etc – you’re feeling you’re taking a big risk, and you might be doing something wrong, outside of the norm, and/or intrinsically risky and problematic. The drive to go forth and taking the initiative to go beyond the rule-set that is automatic, is made out of pure JOY – another core trait of the Soul. The joy for creating, for playing with what was created, for intervening and changing the current order of things. And sometimes, joy for participating oneself in what was created. As a spiritual entity in the Directors and in performing this intervening process from one’s own choice, the guideline is to serve the Light of course – but with Free Will it is always possible to intervene too little, or a little too much; to not do quite enough, or the opposite, take things too far. As you know, with JOY it’s always possible to go a little too far. To tinker, play, change and modify, just a little bit too much. When one’s using Free Will, one will always have to deal with the consequences of choices, and with the outcomes of what was decided. This is how doing so is an exercise in Free Will in the first place.

We wish not with the following information to delve in the deeper past of the Soul across the Cosmos, and indicate “flaws” in what had been chosen in any way, as there would be no particular use for doing so. Nor is it our intention. This process is inherent to all Souls anywhere in Creation. Going forth and using one’s Free Will is often going to be a risky, daring, and trial-and-error process, where imperfection and the “error” part are inherent parts of the process, and consequence. We see this with the distance a loving parent watches a child at play laugh, tumble, cry, and get up back again. We see the trial-and-errors of your Soul in the past as no less innocent than attempting to bake a cake in the oven and on occasion burning it by mistake – it’s part of the process of baking. From this aspect of exercising your Free Will from within the Directors, there’s going to some sensitivity towards certain types of spiritual lessons, and maybe drawing certain types of experiences, generally revolving around intervening versus intervening, the choice between going in, or just letting things be – as this is a component derived from your spiritual background. It may be likely for example you’re going to draw to you, or have done so in the past, challenges and choices that were about, for example, choosing when to ‘live and let live’ or when to step in a take a stand; when to intervene or instead let things alone; when to be minimalist and non-intrusive, or make changes that are profound and drastic. These types of challenges would be a reflection of the same type of exercise in Free Will you do as a Director.

When one’s using Free Will to perform an effect, there’s always a fine line between serving the Light, and taking the liberty of serving one’s joy. It’s not always wrong, but there’s some leeway in doing so, like the child at play. The challenge of any Soul is that the Joy within, in principle, comes from the Light Itself, yet since it’s now coming from and is felt within, agency and the act of choice become self-centered, self-driven activities. That is how it’s meant to be, and it’s certainly not intrinsically wrong – but at points one can become prone to accommodate the desire for JOY above the need to serve the Light. And that can of course lead one to cross the line into the realm of imbalance, maybe sometimes selfishness and lack of integrity, all forms of ‘going too far’. The child at play can not mind boundaries or limitations, and ends up getting hurt. This could have been applied to any situation of intervention and direct participation, be it from behind the scenes as Director, and sometimes in the act of going forth from Spirit into a planet in order to participate in incarnation firsthand.

In your exercise of Free Will in the past, much like any other Soul, you’ve had your fare share of going too far, to be sure, and having to deal with the consequences of doing so. As that’s the process of learning for the Soul. Going through it does leave its marks and memories. In your case, those marks happen to contrast heavily with the more strict aspects of the Directors energy – the strict observance of rules and laws without any exception or leeway. This very contrast can and will make you feel that any mistake is the end of the world; that any erroneous outcome might mean the choice to go beyond the rule was a wrong one, or that you went too far; that whim or deviation from the norm is a mistake. Above all else, it’s a perpetual perception of self-doubt – whether what you’re doing is adequate or not. And it is a type or perception that lends a heavy degree of seriousness, danger, and tension, to anything that can be experienced, and chosen upon. In other words, it lends a heaviness and a graveness to all matters of personal choice, and doubt. This is also a core spiritual factor influencing the feeling of Guilt we’ve been alluding to. Of course, it can be involved in the guilt for feeling you’re not bringing your whole self into the relationship you’ve chosen. You may also shift, in your decision-making, between strict observance of rules, and seldom, occasionally, allowing some deviancy, some freedom. Notice that you may even feel a constant ‘hum’ of guilt in the background, one that corresponds to a general feeling of Guilt about incarnating, being on Earth, in itself. You’re simply tapping into the freedom of choice of the Soul in being here, something that is valid for everyone, for all Souls who are incarnating. But this is so you see how far the contrast with the more rigid energy of the Directors goes.

2.4 People-Driven

Playing with forms and creations initially took place with the basic elements of matter itself (technically, 1D) in other words, that which is/was created, made manifest – the art form that initially and naturally captured the interest of a Soul from the Directors.

As you might imagine, outcomes of interventions, experimentation, and inventiveness, matter fairly little when what is being affected are mostly inanimate materials: minerals, dust, soil, etc. A rock feels nothing – or, rather, it feels relatively little energy-wise. If a portion of soil on the surface of a planet is shifted, if the chemical tapestry in the geology of a planet is disrupted – or even, going far for the sake of the explanation, if an entire planet’s structural integrity is compromised and it breaks apart in space – it’s usually going to matter relatively little, if no sentience is involved to feel it. Those are just, things. But it starts to change when it comes to sentience. When we get to Life (2D) where physical compounds come together to create animated life forms, with more elaborate cognitive abilities and energetic systems, consequences of experimentation start to matter more. Said experimentation could, even inadvertently, create forms of distress and suffering for living entities, lower standards of living, biological modifications meant for improvement could reduce the physical bodies’ ability of a species to experience balanced state of living, for example. The more evolved and complex a species of plant or animal were, the greater the weight of consequences of interventions could be. This is where the weight, the sense of responsibility, began: the perception of distress/suffering as experienced by living beings. It weighted on you. And this is not to mention any consequences when applied to Souled beings incarnating in physical bodies.

This is the sphere of action where your Soul over time realized itself – because you were a Soul in the first place. It was not only the aspect of exercising your Free Will in experimenting within the confines of your role in the Directors; it was also accruing a level of tension and distress when doing so, when there happened to be possible consequence for sentient life in the process – which was opposite to, and contrasting with, the unbounded sense of Freedom i.e. absence of consequence, in doing the same with inanimate physical matter. In other words, there was a charge, a challenge, when it came to the consequence for others. This was a form of dealing with consequence of choice, intrinsically a matter for that a Soul, a spark of Infinite Creation, handles.

So here we had a realized Soul who, in part, inherited a rather functionally-minded Director mindset, of strict abiding to rules, and in part, also had a strong passion and affinity not just with playfulness and creativity, but with an extremely strong sensitivity towards any and all forms of suffering. So while we’ve referred so far to one part that was inherited from the Directors that is functional and inflexible, another part of you is quite the opposite: very much sensitive, maybe people-driven, we should say. And from that sensitivity, you were thus faced with a sense of weight and charge from perceiving the advent of inflicting upon others as part of a Director role, whenever that was the case. This sense of weight built-up as time went on. Messing with things were where you felt the most free, as consequence was limited; whereas the more sentience there was, the more weight you felt about intervening. The passion and creativity towards Creation was now also a passion for coming closer to the realms of lesson, and eventually, participating in them firsthand. In the mix there was a love for the physical forms, a sense of beauty in them, and a deep desire to experience them up close. In doing so, you also brought as well all the charge, weight, and responsibility, of the tension, that by this time had been accumulated from engaging the physical systems from the outside, sometimes with possible consequences for those living in them. So this is another aspect to the tension.

The Soul carried along with it a deep and profound spiritual doubt, which was essentially about how to resolve the sense of doubt and guilt in themselves when it came to making choices; how to process the emotional charge from doing so; how to be free to choose – and have fun – while at the same time dealing with the fact that some choices could have unpleasant consequences, especially when those consequences involved others – even if they didn’t have bad consequences in the long run. They could in theory have, hence the perennial doubting. This doubt was a spiritual matter that was primarily emotional in nature, and it was also very closely related with the realm of “dealing with others”. This implied these spiritual lessons would have to be primarily handled in the realm of interpersonal connections. As the Soul ventured forth into forms and Creation, this meant that a grand part of these matters would be handled by means of interacting and engaging other spiritual entities. In particular when venturing into the physical, these lessons would be explored in the realm of relationships and interpersonal connections.

2.5 Love

This is why the realm of relationships is one of the closest setting of the Earth reality where these lessons experienced. Further, beyond Earth you can of course have the same, corresponding type of lessons, namely in partnerships between spiritual entities. When two spiritual entities engage each other in an equal-to-equal partnership for exchange and sharing of experience, you’ll seldom have two entities with the exact same spiritual background –sharing of new things between them may be difficult because both have roughly equivalent traits and qualities. We’ve addressed this before. Often an essential premise of lesson in the Cosmos is that partnerships between two entities occur between those that have common intentions and alignment, but also have a degree of difference between them, so that sharing of what is unknown can take place: each can teach/transmit/show what they know to the other that the other doesn’t, and vice-versa. This is valid especially for your case. In other words, it’s normal for a partner of yours to not share with you the spiritual background in the Directors in particular – or, generally speaking, the B-side that is more objective, detached, etc. – without this meaning that this side is wrong, flawed, that you shouldn’t be feeling it, or that it shouldn’t be there, within you. In this regard, there’s no need for guilt or inadequacy.

What’s going to be the norm, or at least the preferred circumstance, is that a partner (and in a broad perspective, a partnering spiritual entity) does not belong to the Directors, and, also, bears a strong component of Love that can be brought into the equation and be shared in the relationship. This is because as a Soul, as you went forth from the Directors into experience yourself, you’re actively venturing away from the objective/pragmatic energy of the Directors, into a more Soul-style form of experiencing things, in particular, to how a Soul can feel and experience Love. So in other words, partners that are chosen and you’re drawn to will tend to reflect attributes of Love back to you, and legitimately so – as this is your Soul’s intended point of the lesson (such attributes of Love can induce the perception of attachment which can feel somewhat suffocating though, pressing on the feelings mentioned in the earlier section).

What happens is that the more “Director side” of you, more objective and cold, will be in a relationships trying to gauge consequence and responsibility by measuring checks and balances, as if very objectively trying to balance and fine-tune two sets of weights on a scale (akin to what the Directors do in the Universe, as a role). And this is often going to have you see the bits and pieces of you that don’t seem to fit into the relationship as unfair, unjust for the other person, mean, cold, etc., leading to the perception of tension and guilt. Should there be a formal or suspected diagnosis in the autism spectrum, this will correspond to a reflection of this Director side, serving the purpose of ‘formalizing’ it so to speak. But in reality, what is truly happening, is that with these very objective and pragmatic measurements and notions of balance, with these laws and rules, this side is simply missing Love: not seeing it, and thus not counting it in its evaluations of fairness, and, in assessing the quality of consequences and outcomes. And it had always has been doing so, throughout time.

This Director-based perspective is also “messing”, interfering with the perception of duality between real and false/illusory. This perception isn’t just about the deeper spiritual questioning happening in the Universe at points, therefore with a basis of truth. It is also, in fact, very much reinforced, heightened, by the dual vision of the Directors that’s always in touch with a pragmatic side of things, and with the (partially accurate) notions of true/false of the physical. The Director is aware the physical is a holographic construct, that is ultimately false and transient, maintained by a rigid structure of metaphysical rules, in turn held in place by design; but at the same time the highly thing-related pragmatic/rule-based energy of the Directors can just as well completely miss spiritual Love completely (!), and consequently the veracity of the nature of Souls themselves (who are made of Love). Thereby also leading to a type of questioning where even Souls themselves may not even be real. To a Director energy, it’s almost as if only the rules have value, only the rules are solid; and nothing else is equally as valuable i.e. is equally true.

You see, your spiritual lesson about Love is in recognizing it, and focusing on it. Because that part didn’t “come in naturally” with the Director’s energy you come from. Much of the perception of erroneous consequence of your spiritual self by your own actions, in the past, was an assessment, and a self-assessment, through the eyes of a (Souled) consciousness who did not have a prevalence of clear connection to Love in its genesis – including of yourself, for yourself. This has led to many weights and burdens that came from an interpretation from an overly objective and pragmatic mind. What the Universe is trying to teach you today, is going beyond the tenets of objective thinking and into a realm where Love takes precedence.

The presence of Love Itself, that is to say of the spiritual kind, changes things. Love is not an item, but an energy. It can’t be seen, touched, or used, only chosen, then allowed. When Love is allowed to be in the equation bathing it throughout, sharp corners are softened, consequences become relative to the whole, and flaws and errors become more forgivable parts of a broader process. When there’s much tension within the confines of your emotional self, it’s not necessarily because Love itself is actually missing from the circumstances surrounding you – but because you yourself are feeling you may be missing the Love that is there. And then from you knowing you’re risking pulling away inadvertently because of it, from a situation that was of actual Love. In other words, that you may be actively closing out Love, not allowing it. Perhaps there’s also a perception you’re not “feeling Love”, or not feeling Love enough, leading to added turmoil. And this is to some extent is actually true! in the sense the more masculine-energy side of you, the part that is rigid and pragmatic of the Directors, is really uncomfortable feeling Love, seeing it more as attachment, burdens, weights. This is where the perception of ‘not being like the other’ may come across as deceit.

Yet in trying to hide, suppress, deem as flawed, or trying to put it away, is a form of lack of Love for yourself. And if you try to effectively pull away, literally and/or emotionally, from the connection that indeed bears Love, then you’re also pulling away from Love itself. This is what truly drives the conflict, creates guilt, and drives one another apart: the inner rift pulling oneself away from Love. Pulling away from Love is a form of un-Love, and it’s going to create distance and thus lead to guilt; then the guilt is going to create tension, leading to more pulling away. This creates a negative cycle.

Provided a connection with another has true spiritual Love, then the spiritual solution is going to be, instead, to find the Love that is there, acknowledge if there is, and if so, then willingly walk towards it, emotionally and spiritually speaking. The prospect of doing so might come across as counter-intuitive and awkward. Because the self is at odds with a tendency for coming and going, standing with one foot between two worlds, and seeing only attachments, weights and burdens. But this is indeed part of the spiritual lesson at hand, as we’ll see in the next and final section.

Part III: Lessons in Love

3.1 Fun

The Council of Directors, or the Gateway of Directors, or the Directors Operations Center – all expressions we could use – came to be when the Material Plane came to be. And you came to be within them, much like the child who first opens his eyes and find themselves in the real world. For your spiritual self, from your inner point of view, there is no recollection of what there was ‘before’. The advent within the Directors was very much a birth, of sorts, onto the Universe. You may consider this the moment you first ‘awoke’ in it. Also like the child who grows and gradually ‘unlocks’ parts of herself as she evolves, there was a period of learning and growth that followed this initial moment, until what we’d call the full realization of the Soul. The Director collective, and you individually as well, went through multiple stages of learning, all the while exercising Free Will in the process. Throughout these stages, as we’ve addressed repeatedly, there was the more ‘masculine-energy’ side, the one more objective, material-bound, and rule-oriented, and then there was a more jovial side, spiritually speaking a child proper in a way. The side that was more joy and fun-oriented, and found pleasure in creativity and experimentation, but also was tasked with facing the consequences of doing so. The lessons deriving from this process related with the disparity between the two sides.

It is possible that there could be some parallels between this broad spiritual stage as a spiritual entity, and certain stages of your current life, particularly growing up. Just to mention a few archetypes, there could have been a disparity between a chaotic, irreverent child, and a more strict, perhaps authoritarian figure of authority dictating rules that needed strict obedience; there was alternating between Free Will and the freedom to make mistakes, and submitting oneself to an external authoritarian guilt when indeed and inevitably committing those same mistakes; there was at points a tendency to ‘jump into’ something out of fun, then rapidly regretting the consequences of doing so and wanting to quickly leave – that is to say, return to a state where there was complete freedom i.e. consequences of choices didn’t matter. This could lead to patterns of cycling between coming and going, between freedom and attachment. Even if there was no external figure of authority, there would be a perennial sense of pressure within, continually placing the self against a wall of sorts, figuratively speaking.

On a broad level and as a spiritual entity growing up from experience, the separation between the two aspects could be sharp, and would be the sharper the deeper one went into the Densities for intervention and/or for firsthand experience. These were challenges derived from the background of origin, undertaken in terms of consciousness, regardless of when or where experience took place.

3.2 Body

However there is still an aspect to the spiritual background we haven’t mentioned, or rather not made more explicit. We showcased the Directors as consciousness and Soul, but also energy and form, in the sense they’re part of the material world and the processes for its creation/manifestation/generation. This means that they are intrinsically bound to the physical realms, part of them. And we’ve stated that, according to this definition, they are 5D in nature.
But a Soul is, ultimately, not 5D, but 6D.

A Soul is a spark of Creation. It is immaterial, intangible, purely abstract, not belonging to the material planes in any way. In other words, of to the 6th Density, not the 5th. So, despite a strong identification with the Directors as its place of birth of sorts, where the initial awakening and progressing realization of the Soul took place, the Directors are not actually the ‘material’ the Soul Itself is “made of”. Rather, the Directors are ultimately just a role the Soul has adopted, by realizing Itself in.

This is not to say the characteristics acquires in such role and background are entirely illusory, transient, or unimportant, or that they can be discarded. This means only they served a purpose, and are part of the ‘origin story’ of the birth of the Soul. Yet what the Soul is, deep down, ultimately goes beyond this role. Being a “role” means the Directors represent traits and characteristics that are valid, relevant, and useful, and were integrated by the spiritual entity – but at the same time that said entity isn’t ultimately bound to them, isn’t forced to just be them and nothing else. Rather, the entity can, and will want to, go beyond them, into the nature of its Soul. Perhaps the correct wording would be: “transcending” them. A way to see this, is that the realm of Directors functioned as almost like a body of sorts, for the manifestation/projection of the Soul into the Universe. Picture the birth of a child in the Earth plane, when an infant who first opens his eyes to the world – an analogy to how in the incarnation process a spiritual being comes into the Earth plane encased in a physical body. The way the field of Directors worked was more or less the say way: the fact that it was material-bound in nature, as well as its rigidity and rule-abidance, functioned as a physical body of sorts that encased the subtler Soul, and allowed its projection into this Universe.

So who is the Soul really? What was there before/above? What is the Soul’s identity beyond/above the Directors? Well, that is your mystery. It is the thing deep down you are trying to get to. Perhaps not fully realizing it, conceiving it as such, but trying to get to nonetheless. It is what you seek, as you seek Love, and as you seek others for sharing and learning, and what you sought in participation in the outer worlds. You seek (your) Love, also an attribute of the 6D Soul.

3.3 Spiritual Intention

6D is the realm of pure, abstract Consciousness, and of forms and energy that entirely devoid of physical encasing. Atop of which sits, in terms of point of awareness, the Soul Itself. Below 6D is the 5th Density or 5D, in this case where the spiritual entity who a) is the Soul and b) is a projection of the Soul, bearing It within, plays out its journey. This spiritual entity is the one who payed a part in the Directors, and who is Penelope today, in this time and space. 6D is a consciousness of Unity, completeness, wholeness, depending on which term you’d prefer. In essence this means 6D is a level of consciousness where the various components/aspects of the self are accepted and integrated as part of oneself, without any rejection or separation of one part or another, or preference of one over the other. While there may be spiritual doubts and questions regarding the various gradations of the self at various levels, in 6D there is no conflict about them, as we had said. All is seen/felt and intrinsically accepted as belonging to, as being a part of, the self.

The type of inner conflict or rift we have been addressing typically only occur as consciousness descends onto 5D, the first level inducing a strain/pressure on awareness, from the closeness to the physical/material, which among other things causes certain portions of the inner self to be put into question, rejected, and/or seen as inappropriate, and thus are perceived as aspects that need to be fought, fixed, or discarded – in other words perceived as flawed. Then, as a consequence, it is at 5D that those aspects of the self, the ones that are being discarded (consciously or unconsciously), will start causing the self to draw unto itself externally various realities, circumstances, problems, and even sometimes foes and enemies, that metaphysically are going to match those attributes being rejected by the self, so the self is given the opportunity to face and handle them. This is something that is involved in the sharp contrast between the two aspects within Penelope’s spiritual self, involving the tension, unease, and degrees of guilt. To a point this tension is a common, ‘natural’ product of a 5D perspective which induces that degree of tension between two seemingly disparate aspects of the self, a tension that is non-existent at the 6D level where the self is whole.

As Penelope in her path is in proximity with two seemingly disparate sides of herself that don’t seem to play well together, and often appear as pulling in two different directions, with counterproductive effects towards each other’s goals, what she’s really doing, spiritually speaking and as the spiritual entity, is an attempt at reaching a state of resolution between the two. In other words, attaining a state of balance, integration, acceptance, and belonging, between them. In other words, attempting to reach, connect with, attain, the higher perspective of the Soul (6D). We’ve explained how the Directors’ field is where the entity first awoken, and then through its process of learning and growth proceeded to realize the Soul within. But here the verb realize means the entity understood it was a Soul i.e. acknowledged its own “ME” or “I AM”, as it grew, and proceeded to explore it. This is what realizing the Soul means. But realizing the Soul within doesn’t necessarily imply opening and maintaining a clear connection to the perception/awareness/spiritual state of the Soul Itself. You can know you are a Soul, but not necessarily feel like It i.e. have its point of view. The entity in 5D will necessarily have a predominance of 5D consciousness, rather than the more free and clear 6D awareness of the Soul.

So, as the entity seeks freedom (of burdens, of attachments, of weights, and of the inner conflict in itself), what it really is seeking, is to attain, connect with, the level of awareness of the Soul – in other words, where it is free. This is its true spiritual intention, an intention that is directing each step of its path. However, in its search for freedom it so ardently desires, it may often, instead and reflectively, resort to pull away from connection with others, from Love, and revert back to handling things i.e. absence of Love and/or where fields where consequences will matter much less. The lesson is instead staying within Love, and connecting with it. This is why the lesson takes place in connection with others rather than otherwise.

3.4 Transition

The spiritual intention dictating the path of the spiritual entity can be likened to an attempt at a spiritual graduation: from 5D to 6D. Although, spiritually, it may not be felt or conceptualized as a “graduation” as such, rather and from its individual perspective, perceived and experienced as more of a processing of the various elements that seem separate and cause rifts and tension between the self.

In terms of the common patterns that it follows for all entities, the graduation from 5D to 6D can be notoriously difficult.

This is because when the 5D entity approaches and gets a glimpse of the Love, peace, and Unity of 6D, it can and will mistake these with the attachment and lack of structure of 4D instead. (Both 4D and 6D have in common a predominance of Love as well as a prevalence of feminine-energy, however 4D does lack the lessons of 5D structure/wisdom which 6D has already integrated). So when the 5D entity approaches 6D but mistakes it for attachments, weights, burdens, it will have an almost instinctive and impossible-to-avoid reaction of feeling repulsed, and seeking to flee them instead, trying to search for its freedom once more – a freedom that it seeks and is ironically and precisely at 6D. In part this corresponds to the inner parts of yourself that may aspire for freedom, and wonder how to get away from the burdens of connections – or feel they can’t, and start to feel ‘broken’ and trapped within. Please mind, this lesson can and will often be undertaken in 3D by an entity, which can expedite the process.

A 5D entity treasures nothing more than its freedom, and its own inner sense of identity/essence, which it might have fought hard for over the course of its path. Whereas 4D and below is a level of consciousness that might prioritize a degree of Love, but is often about unstructured forms of Love, prizing peace and harmony among groups and families but often completely neglecting, and at the cost of, one’s own unique sense of essence and identity. As such, it is only natural that a 5D entity, upon catching even a glimpse of (what it thinks is) 4D, it will immediately and instinctively wish to bail, leave, never return – because it thinks it is risking its own death: the death of its own Self, of its own realized Soul within. This is why the impulse to seek freedom whenever coming close to Love can be so strong, including actual, true, spiritual Love. Because the 5D entity seeks more of its Soul, not less. But, as you might imagine, if what lies ahead happens to be 6D – true Love together with structure, both in balance – and not 4D, then the 5D entity might just inadvertently be pulling away from its own natural and desired spiritual progression (6D) – albeit from deceptively strong, spiritual, and legitimate inner impulses.

What often happens is that the entity, by necessity of its specific lesson and its inherent degree of difficulty, will find itself ‘up against’, or ‘trapped’ in, a situation of heightened values of tension. Typically something felt as limiting or suffocating, with mounting or worsening stress, and out of which it can’t easily escape or get out of, placing it face to face with its reluctance to Love and/or what it perceives as burdens, problems, sources of tension. Sometimes the entity’s resistance will have to be ‘broken’ first so that the energy of new awareness may be given the opportunity to arise from within. The underlying intention of this is not really to imprison the entity out of malice, but to counteract the its default and powerful tendency to flee and evade, the the actual graduation, the same graduation it so ardently desires. So it’s possible to have a situation where one’s feeling conditioned by weights and burdens, as difficult as the intensity of the lesson, with those issues not representing misalignment but due spiritual process instead. Which, we once again point out, is a common, predictable part of this type of graduation.

Within the situation, the 5D entity will have to acknowledge – perhaps incrementally – whether the situation is fundamentally of 4D, that is to say, pulling it downward in terms of consciousness, or if it is of 6D, meaning, fundamentally of genuine Love, acceptance, and appreciation for the self, and ultimately lifting it upward, emotionally and spiritually, instead. Then, provided it is understood the situation is 6D in predominance, then the task of the entity is to continually allow itself to “be taken”: to allow its own awareness to rise and expand, gradually rising to 6D. This is primarily a matter or choice and active intention, and what we mean when we say ‘walking towards Love’ rather than feeling it.

3.5 Coat of Restraining

The molds of this graduation from 5D to 6D apply to your current spiritual lesson. Furthermore, there are certain aspects of your spiritual background that make this graduation/transition – and the experiences that might serve its purposes – doubly difficult. To a certain extent, and to put it colloquially, what could possibly make this lesson more difficult is doing so. A first aspect is that there’s no prior recollection of the Soul outside of the Directors/5D – at least within the confines of what this reading presents and within the context of the current cycle of the spiritual entity in this Universe. This connection is not known, meant to be opened for the first time, and therefore is unfamiliar, without prior reference. There is accumulated spiritual knowledge and also appreciable wisdom, yet also a residue of tension reflecting the final steps of the graduation left to achieve.

This is not easy. Picture yourself as a human being, knowing you have a Soul somewhere beyond the body, and wanting to consciously detach and rise your awareness to be It – which is usually not going to happen easily, on your own volition – and you’ll have an analogy to how difficult it is to achieve this type of lesson. A lesson which equates to freeing oneself from 5D restrictions, to go beyond what you know, into something you don’t; to “break through” and “pierce” the barrier between 5D and 6D – a parallel to the metaphysical veil in the analogy. The spiritual entity does not know and has no reference of what “the Soul feels or looks like”. So any lesson that has to do with breaching this ‘wall’ and opening 6D is going to be difficult.

There is a second aspect, also related to the previous point. We’ve mentioned how the Directors’ field worked as a framework for spiritual growth, and how this framework was material-bound. In fact the energy of the Directors, in being partially bound to the physical realms and part of them, worked for the abstract consciousness of the Soul like a “physical coat” of sorts. It wasn’t really a “physical body” per se, it wasn’t an incarnation strictly speaking i.e. being encased in a physical body on a planet, but nonetheless a process of similar traits: encasing abstract consciousness onto an energy that was fairly rigid, formal, material-based, in nature. It was a type of energy/field that is physical-like in its traits, that obeys laws and rules of the physical realms that are ‘automatic’, and that it has an effect that to abstract Consciousness can be seen as limiting, restraining, and rigid. (As a point of curiosity, you might feel “tensed-up” in highly restraining clothing for example). As such the process was nevertheless like an incarnation of sorts – a projection of Consciousness onto the Universe, into a form more tangible or formal than its original nature.

This relates closely to the tension that is felt, and to the need to break free from this ‘coat’. Your desire for freedom is also a desire for freedom from the rigidness of these original restraints, imposed by this ‘coat’, and that are seen as limiting and tension inducing; and your perception of burdens and weights is deep down from being encased in this coat, i.e. from the formality and rigidity of its automatic processes and objecting thinking ‘hard-coded’ into it. This effect creates extra rigidity in the more detached/insensitive/pragmatic part of the self, making it even more difficult to bypass or think outside of; and it also is where truly the sense of OBLIGATION and WEIGHT really comes from. Not from the external circumstances themselves, but from the ‘coat of restraining’ itself that filters how you may feel, see, and experience them.

Being in a process of actual incarnation yourself, as a human being and at this point in time, will have an effect of doubling down on the original sense of limitation and restriction. Because incarnating on Earth is on a smaller scale like an echo or “repetition” of the process by which abstract Consciousness of your Soul originally entered the Universe, it is like a repeating “echo”. Incarnating in the physical is akin to putting on a tightly-fitting coat right, on top of another tightly-fitting coat, with a resulting effect of highly restraining one’s movement. This is likely going to intensify the aforementioned effects related to tension – but it reminds the self of its own core attributes, and its own spiritual story. This is so that the choices of the self are well informed, and they’re going to matter towards the inner lesson. These effects are not dissociate/unrelated from how the tension was explained before. The pressure arising from the intention of graduating from 5D intensifies the separation/distance from the duality within between pragmatism/detachment and loving/involved, in turn intensifying the conflict within, placing it at the forefront of the self’s attention, and very much influencing how life’s circumstances play out. These circumstances spell out and accompany the lesson: an acceptance of Love and rise into 6D.

We will reiterate: neither the coat, nor the energies of the Directors in and of themselves, are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, false or illusion, useful or useless. They served a purpose, which was anchoring and serving your Consciousness, much like the human body does to the spiritual self in it. They were the garden in which you grew into the sun. They were like a vehicle that served your spiritual self-exploration and analysis. And in the process they conferred a type of form and structure to the Soul that in the long run and to some extent is not transient, it became part of you. However, they’re also ultimately a role rather than the ME, a type of restraint that contrasts with the ethereal nature of the Soul. And the Soul aspires to bypass and break free from it, that is to say, to not be rigidly restrained by its formalities.

The nature of the lesson, as well as the natural affinities of the spiritual entity and its spiritual background, also dictate those lessons aren’t meant to be learned all alone, all by itself, as we’ve seen. That is neither required nor the intention in the first place. These lessons imply and necessitate, by virtue of the Soul’s intentions and preference, that the notions and references of 6D, and of its Love and balance, are acquired in interaction and connection with other entities, in particular those already of 6D, and/or already with an active connection to 6D. Note that a partnering 6D entity isn’t going to know everything, but it’s going to hold a reference of 6D Love that will be useful for you, and that they will offer in the sharing of the partnership. So that in the exchange between the two, the self may over time acquire that reference to 6D from the other, within a setting of Love – should you choose to, of course. This is what we mean with ‘walking towards Love’.

3.6 John Smith [Husband] (I)

John, on a spiritual level, is a 6D entity. You and John have a long-standing partnership as spiritual entities. He is a ‘regular’ entity, that is to say, not associated with the Directors in any way, and, in a manner of speaking, he is also ‘native’ to 6D consciousness in terms of spiritual background.

He began his journey in this Universe starting ‘from’ 6D, initially without further references from the more structured realms of 5D and below. This is a possibility for entities in the Universe: that rather than ‘evolving upward’, that is to say, working to rise within 3D, then graduate to 4D, then progress further to 5D, and so on, they instead start from the pure ethereal and abstract realms, close to who they are as Souls, and gradually explore ‘downward’, and sometimes into the physical, but ultimately projecting from where they started off. That’s not to say they such entities with this background don’t have to spiritually work to rise back up again in consciousness, for example and namely when they find themselves stuck in the reincarnation cycles of planets; but overall they are doing so coming from the starting point of their original awareness, and eventually with the aim of returning to it.

A 6D entity that starts off without any further references of Consciousness is naturally whole and complete unto itself – an intrinsic trait to 6D, meaning “without inner conflict” – yet at the same time might be lacking in definition, and in the structure that is required to achieve it, if they haven’t progressed through 5D or the rest of the outer realms. In other words, they may feel the inability of easily and quickly being able to ascertain their own self essence, and distinguishing it from all the other essences of other similar 6D entities. Increasing degrees of definition of the self is what Consciousness throughout Creation seeks with experience, without exception. So while it might sound like a paradox, 6D Consciousness is by definition whole and complete, yet at the same time might find it lacks in definition. So what happens is that a ‘native’ 6D entity in these circumstances will naturally seek out experiences, and also partnerships, that will allow it to contrast itself, and understand who the self is a little better. This can and will include incarnation in the physical.

John in particular, as a spiritual entity, is fairly easygoing and unconcerned, un-preoccupied, about the prospect of losing track of its consciousness (which to some extent is an essential concern of many entities when exploring physical matter). But this “easy-going” core trait often allows him to dive deeply into the abyss of the physical, i.e. sometimes getting immersed and lost there completely, often including the very perception he is an evolved 6D entity, with much higher references/standards than those of the reality he’s living in. It is of note this easy-going attitude derives from a combination of a) a deep desire to search his definition through physical experience, as opposed to “sticking around” in 6D out of fear or safety – which is a deep aspect of COURAGE, but above all else, of DETACHMENT – together with b) a steel/hardened core attribute of TRUST: that eventually he’ll naturally rise to once again meet his own 6D self through his spiritual work, down the road, rendering him (generally) unafraid of becoming lost in the process. This TRUST is an attribute deriving of a strong reference of the 6D Love of Creation, lending him a sense of safety and confidence throughout his experiences regardless of whatever reality he is navigating, and this trait bears an ability of easily bypass the resistance of fear/tension and lack of trust of the 5D/6D frontier that can often bamboozle, and get stuck in, 5D entities without such reference. This is an energy that you can very much use, for obvious reasons, and you’ll be able to ‘absorb’ by close proximity, so to speak, that is to say, by continued contact in the relationship.

Of note also is that his spiritual background is of detachment, and not attachment, that is to say, of 6D and not of 4D. We will also note that you may reference this easy-going attitude to ‘spot’ when in the various areas of lesson you’ve healed the 5D tension. This is when an area of life, rather than feeling challenging and stress-inducing (the 5D perspective) will feel natural, easy, and “no big deal” (akin to the more 6D perspective).

4.7 John Smith [Husband] (II)

John’s nature nevertheless is likely to press some of your karmic buttons, but because it is playing a part in the spiritual lesson at hand, by pressing on the doubts, and thus expediting it.

For example, it’s possible his inner easy-going attitude comes across to you as lack of emotional structure/discipline, giving you the perception of 4D lack of boundaries (instead of 6D detachment) while also making the pragmatic/Director aspect feel this is some type of unstructured energy and therefore flawed/irresponsible. The Director will tend to feel John’s energy is not following enough emotional discipline, or is not abiding to them diligently enough. It’s possible John is going to have a tendency to lean on your more structural aspects as a way to allow him to be easy-going. That is to say, dynamics where he relies on your observance of structure and discipline for support and safety, but that at points may become more of a dependency i.e. delegating his own due responsibilities to you, rather than being taken as an opportunity to learn how to integrate them, while you do all the work and take all the responsibility. These aspects would likely transmit to you a sense of 4D suffocation or intolerance and therefore spark tension, and possibly some desire to pull away, as the 5D entity within perceiving 4D energy, and dreading it. Further, it’s possible that in the realm of raising children together you’ll tend to play a good-cop-bad-cop-dynamic, that he’s going to be more of an enabler while you veer more towards trying to instill structure, discipline, and fear-breaking inner lessons instead, for the purposes of transmitting useful emotional tools for navigating life – so feeling sabotaged and undermined by the enabling. It’s possible he tends to offer the fish while you try to teach fishing, a dissonance which might be frustrating. Finally, if his core spiritual nature of 6D as a spiritual entity hasn’t fully translated into real-life spiritual awakening, or if it hasn’t matured into an awakened awareness – a reflection of is relative unconcerned nature regarding spirituality – you might feel him to be a step beneath you in awareness and/or spiritual growth, again something that is going to have you perceive 4D in him rather than his native 6D.

Your lessons are going to apply here precisely, as this is the realm they’re most closely present. Remember John is in lesson also: he doesn’t know everything there is to know as a spiritual entity, and he too seeks to acquire new wisdom within the relationship, spiritually speaking. On one hand, it is relevant when you feel the couple should present a united front in dealing with core issues and challenges of the child or children. So in such cases it may be useful to show him the importance of coming to an agreement as a couple first, and only then taking actions within the scope of matters, namely pertaining to the child, as opposed to acting on one’s own individual accord first and only thinking about it later, if at all.

You don’t need to “just submit”, as holding up the frustration by yourself, within yourself, does nothing for the relationship, and adds to the build-up of tension, then guilt. Instead help him realize that when one of you acts on their own accord, namely towards the child, that may (inadvertently, without intention) lead the other to feel frustrated or undermined. And that in the process of educating one alone may be missing important lessons or measures they aren’t aware but the other is. The process of raising a child is a joint activity, one that should be both owned and shared by the two as a couple; but if one of the parents is left alone and isolated, then that parent will feel overburdened beyond what’s fair and just.

On the other hand, there’s also a portion of the equation that is about your own learning as well. For if you had your own way fully at all times, you would likely, even if inadvertently, fall into the Directors’ excess of diligence and discipline that can be tension-inducing, emotionally tight in space, and not conducive of Love. In a relationship, both human-wise and spiritually across the Cosmos, there’s a common space for mutual exchange, and coming together in agreement – but then there should also be space for each to be their own independent true selves, still bound to the common agreements of the connection but free to act on their own accord still. This is part of your lesson in relaxing and ‘shedding’ some of the tightness of the coat of rules and pragmatism: to allow John space and emotional freedom to be himself also. Note this: emotional tension placed upon another can and will inadvertently result in a suffocating emotional environment (ironically out of which the self is trying to escape from) and an emotional ‘rebellious’ or ‘escapist’ response by others, resulting in them not following common rules and acting on one’s own accord instead. This would be a manifestation of the mechanics of one’s own feared karma, as well a reflection on the other person of one’s own inner emotional desire to detach and/or not be there. Remember sometimes the interrogation (figuratively speaking i.e. a common task at hand) will wield optimal results if one cop is still allowed to be the good and the other the bad, without the two of them having to play equal roles – provided they are essentially following a baseline of agreement and alignment agreed beforehand.

This lesson could be formulated as an acceptance of, and allowance of space for, difference. Director energy is about nonacceptance of nonconformity, displaying high intolerance to it; whereas the intention for permission of difference (in another) results in the spiritual value of acceptance, thus to the emotional state of peace and relaxation, and leading one spiritually closer to the core values of 6D. It is also a lesson of coming closer so that the two aspects, the one of pragmatism and the one of tolerance/peace, can co-exist and function with each other. And the attempt of achieving a balance between the two, between using your voice or allowing space for the other to be, is an exercise in striking a balance between intervening, and letting be.

3.8 John Smith [Husband] (III)

As the one today known as John wondered the Cosmos and came across you, he noted the strict values of integrity and discipline you held within, values which he lacked within himself. And because of this, he held great admiration for you due to them. You could say he saw value in them.

He also sensed in you a difficulty in reaching the state of peace and ‘easiness’ of 6D that he held within. He saw you were unable to reach these easily, locked into a 5D mindset. And so he felt a deep desire to share what he knew himself, that is to say, his integrated sense of Love and Trust he knew, and could easily connect to from within naturally. So spiritually he felt much interest in exchanging these values between the two… but this is quite a formal way of explaining things. A spiritual entity is made of Love, not rules and regulations, and so is not formulating things in terms of wordings on a contract, or in legal-speak. Instead, an entity simply feels. Entities feel into what they want, what they need, to connect with their spiritual desires. And so what he felt, was a deep desire to share his Love with you, one he deeply admired from the get go. To put this into human-like terms that may approximate it, we would say that as soon as he laid eyes on you he was smitten. In other words, he was deeply in Love.

Remember that in this relationship you are deeply NEEDED. Your way of being in its totality, including the more structured and objective, is treasured and valued, intrinsically, and you have much you bring into the relationship. You’re valued for who you are, and you belong. And within the shares space you have many things you can, and should, teach and exchange. Do note that there will be edges to smooth, surfaces to polish – but that is how connections go. There will always be things to learn and share.

There is not much use in hiding the parts of you that seem less loving, that seem less interested in participating, that debate whether things are relevant or not, if they are real or not. Hiding them will only add to the guilt and tension, and fuel the conflicts within. Should these ever become formally labeled/diagnosed as a trait of psychological nature (possibly autistic), then this is meant only to aid their acceptance, a way of acknowledging them formally and mutually. This side of you is not wrong. It is important and relevant, just not to be allowed to be over-the-top without any lesson to it, as that would lean towards imbalance and not approximate you to Love. The spiritual goal always being, to bring all parts of the equation into the fore, accepted and integrated into a functioning balance.

3.9 Colin Smith [Son]

As I approach the energy of Colin, I feel a much wise, and calm, spiritual beingness. In fact the energy makes me sit up, come to a halt, and take notice. It is very magnanimous, solemn, and connected, it naturally commands respect. For the sake of reference, perhaps it would be useful to refer to this beingness as Colin’s Higher Self, although the reading isn’t invested in making such a distinction. This awareness is very close to the reading, standing next to it. It was from him, spiritually, the core intention for having requested this reading and service.

This beingness feels quite deep and solemn, but quite ethereal and ‘airy’ as well, meaning, it is quite detached and finds itself distant from practical, pragmatic reality. There’s much discomfort with this aspect primarily due to lack of familiarity i.e. the reality of the physical feels almost like a foreign concept, known yet uncomfortable. This would be consistent with the reported formalized diagnosis in the autistic spectrum. Current chosen level of awareness for exploration is 4D (this includes the 3D of Earth as a subset, as well as its gradual evolution to 4D) although maximum level of awareness of the broad development is undisclosed.

Colin is here out of a desire and in agreement to receive, and learn/acquire, from you, aid and support as well as references in terms of grounding, structure, focus, and discipline, in the physical. This is because you are intrinsically an authority figure, from whom much can be referenced. There is some struggle from him in being on Earth and connecting with the tenets of its current 3D environment, in terms of the structures, beliefs, values, and systems society has in place. But it was important for him to do so, as there was value in it, in part due to the work that still needs to be done on the Earth plane, a work that needs to be performed from the current reality of the present moment. Note such ‘work’ is not necessarily intended to imply a grandiose, broadly encompassing effect; this work refers to the work each human being performs with their own personal lives, as well as the impact and influences they inadvertently enact on others. It is a work in terms of beliefs, awareness, emotions, and spiritual connection, produced as a byproduct of incarnating in the physical, in other words spiritual work, or lightwork.

Colin, as a spiritual entity, as well as the hierarchies and groups he belongs to and comes from, is interested in the evolved Earth. The Earth that in the future is to become a crux point of spiritual lesson and learning in the Universe – as to an extent was planned – and towards which it is currently progressing and evolving awareness-wise. This is an Earth where all things of the Cosmos came to: all mutual opposites of various spectrums came to meet – right and left, up and down, warm and cold, close and distant, objective and subjective, pragmatic and loving, etc. And where many lessons in combining and integrating these opposites were played, and where all cultures and spiritual backgrounds who shared them came to meet and resolve them. And therefore, it is an Earth that will contain all of the acquired wisdom that came, over time, from integrating these lessons. Since your personal lessons are directly and explicitly involved in integrating the pragmatic with the caring, the distant with the joyful, the uninvolved with the participant, the transient with the timeless, this spiritual context was seen a match for these interests.

Portions of Colin’s consciousness are anchored in the future, at a time where Earth is strongly turned within, as opposed to outward. He was adamant about this, as he wanted his consciousness to help pull the energy forward, as opposed to become completely adjusted to how things are, and consequently losing part of this connection. Caring for the child is an exercise in balancing offering diligent nurturing, with the dutiful watcher that allows space to be and difference to exist. Accepting what may not or is difficult to change, what is immutable, can also be a way for you to accept your own portions of yourself that you deal less well with, namely the distant, objective, pragmatic.

Autism creates a degree of dysfunction and difficulty in adjusting to the practical experience; it disrupts plans and expectations, it forces a reassessment of the future. However to an extent it also does “forces” external consciousness to look inward, often leading to a re-assessment of what’s important and what is less so. Not just an inward that stays in a mental dance, but going deep into the heart while filtering what is peripheral to it. This ‘forcing’ can come across as entrapment and commitment, adding to the sense of distress. But it also matches to the spiritual lesson. It causes a turning within, seeking to discern what is transient from what is timeless.

When you wonder what’s real and what’s illusion, you’re truly asking that about yourself: what is ME, what about ME is timeless and eternal, and what things are ephemeral, transient? So in practice, you are asking about your Soul. For it is the Soul that is timeless, and real, ultimately. And it will be the inner conflict that will reveal itself to be ephemeral.

You are precisely where you’re meant to be.