Heart Ki

Quick Reading: Grace

The following is a Quick Reading originally performed for a client. This is a reading of the Akashic Records that takes me a few hours to perform, and is delivered as text by email. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, but no changes were made to the original meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Quick Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

Part I – Memory

As I connect with your energy, I’m shown a past-life. This is a girl in the 1700s or 1800s. Socially the feeling is that of a social upper class with had balls arranged as social events. In these balls classical or orchestra-style music would be played, and to which attendees, formally dressed to the occasion, would dance in pairs and groups, in a synchronized manner. I’m uncertain about the location; the greatest similarity that in a cultural sense strikes me, would perhaps classical period of Austria – but it could also be further East of the same time period, such as the areas of Poland, or even Russia, for example.

The girl is around 16-18 years old. She has dark brown hair and fair skin. Despite the lightness in skin tone she doesn’t come across as frail, or even child-like. Rather, she’s just blossomed into a grown woman with a healthy, ‘robust’ but fit appearance, “in the pink” if you will. This recent spur/leap in growth she just went through marked, in physical terms, the transition from a being see as a child, into adulthood, and would definitely tend to impress others around her, especially those who had previously been used to see her as a child.

The girl is shown wearing a white, adorned gown, an elaborate dress used to attend the formal balls and parties of her time. As she entered the room in the ball, her appearance was nothing short of splendorous. She had an impressive, imposing presence, in a charming and graceful sense. Everything about her seemed to glow, and captivate nearly all of the attendees present. The numerous atendees, for various reasons, couldn’t help but have their gaze lay on her as she entered the hall.

Her splendorous effect she has on others is not just about the way she looks, or because of her growth. To complement these things, there is a aspect of Grace to her. She knows (i.e. it’s natural to her, it’s ‘of’ her) the subtle, nuanced aspects of body language, movement, eye contact/placement, vocal intonation, etc., together with the elements of social cues and customs, replies in interactions, and so on, which are required to navigate and handle attention received from others socially (interest, curiosity, admiration, etc.) without feeling or becoming awkward, puzzled, overwhelmed, and so on, by them.

This natural affinity wasn’t something that was practiced, ‘manufactured’ – nor is she doing it on purpose. This is simply something that’s of her already, that comes naturally and simply to her. She can hold a subtle, perfect balance between coming across as a little shy and guarded, while retaining a certain openness and approachability; all the while, she can handle the myriad of subtle social rules and formalities, while also placing a little bit of distance between her and the sources of attention – mostly for self-protection, to guard herself, but which also created a certain aura of mystery around her, adding further to the captivating effect.

She’s not doing any of this for ulterior reasons. She’s not manipulating others, trying to get their attention, or trying to be the center of it. Being the target of the attention of others is a pleasant and enjoyable feeling, to be sure – but she’s not actively seeking it, or to take advantage of it. Like a ship sailing through water, she’s simply navigating the energy others are directing towards her. She has been placed, or is, in a certain context – social status, age, physical appearance – that facilitates this energy being sent in her direction, and she is handling it naturally and gracefully.

This moment, and memory, are stored within the Akashic Records, the Memory of the Soul, as a moment of being ‘in the zone’, a ‘sweet spot’ if you will, and it holds spiritual significance in that regard. It works a reference for being ‘happy’, for what happiness means, at least in this or similar contexts and sense. It was a particular set of circumstances that generated happiness: a balance between a favorable context (which was, again, a combination of age, health, social status) where others were willing to direct their attention towards her, that in turn allowed for her natural Grace (which is an intrinsic spiritual attribute of her) to come forth, become active, and be used to navigate such circumstances and energies.

In this past-life, moving forward from this moment in time, the girl lived a peaceful, if unremarkable life. This specific moment was the highlight of the lifetime – which is why it is being addressed in the reading. In this moment and stage of life she felt what may be described as a peak experience, in terms of energy/acceptance received from others in a social setting, together with a sense of youthful exuberance of the discovery of that same experience at a young age, as well as, also, the underlying spiritual tones standing beneath it. On the back of this moment she experienced a clean, pure, legitimmate connection with her own spiritual attributes and Essence.

There is nothing wrong about the experience of being accepted, or even loved, socially, romantically, etc., in the human experience. As an experience in the physical realm, it can simply be an opportunity for the reflection back to oneself of some of the attributes one holds on a spiritual level towards oneself (or at least the momentary allowance for it). In other words, receiving acceptance from others feels like the Love the Higher Self feels towards Itself, and the acceptance/belonging/Love the Universe feels back towards oneself on a spiritual level – which is one of the reasons we say this peak experience had a spiritual component to it. Experiences shared with others selves in physical matter are, or can be, reflective in some regard of attributes of the spiritual. So these experiences do matter, and can be seen as spiritual, also.

A little forward in time, and past this moment, she got married. It was an arranged marriage between the two families, with a level of of interests beyond just the two individuals involved, namely matters of preserving name, social status, wealth, and so on. However, she wasn’t particularly opposed to this arrangement, as this was the norm of the time, and therefore somewhat expected. Additionally, her partner/husband was seemingly also a proper match for her: young, of matching social status and wealth, socially respected, and even in terms of physical appearance.

Despite these elements, there was no particular passion/love (i.e. interpersonal compatibility, or ‘chemistry’ if you will) present between the two. It’s not that there was any specific fear, discomfort, or even animosity between them. It’s just that they weren’t particularly fond of each other. Perhaps because they didn’t love each other to begin with; perhaps because they simply were both inexperienced, coming from the protective umbrella of wealthy families and powerful parents, and so somewhat lacked emotional references from life experiences of their own, including on a romantic level. They had parts to play in the grand scheme of things, yet in a certain sense they hadn’t lived much more beyond the children they were a little while ago.

She had a marriage that, on the level of social status, was befitting of her, but was otherwise without spark, without connection. The marriage and relationship was somewhat cold and uneventful. It was this way, because that’s how it was supposed to be. Further, she in the relationship as an adornment, akin to a token or maybe a trophy – without any disrespect intended. It’s simply that this was essentially her perceived role and value in the marriage.

Over time, her glow faded. While there weren’t significant negative/traumatic events in her life, after the peak in her youth things tended to only, slowly, decline. She had a certain sense of loss of happiness, of joy, of personal worth – which she attributed to her aging. She felt as if the loss of youth led her to become less appreciated, less happy, and increasingly frustrated. She had the perspective she was losing value/worth because she was becoming less pretty. But she believed this, only because she didn’t have any other reference of personal worth. She didn’t notice love wasn’t actually in the equation to begin with.

Part II – Spiritual and Emotional Patterns

The following relates to the emotional/spiritual patterns that could be associated with this past-life memory. There could also be more elements I’m not addressing or I wasn’t led to address. It is essentially up to you to acknowledge how you relate with this memory, and establish comparisons between it and your current life, connecting the dots spiritually if you will, as this facilitates the understanding and growth that can be obtained from it. The observations that follow are meant only to assist with this.

I sensed a perception and frustration, on a spiritual level, that these types of ‘ideal’, moments when the ‘correct’ circumstances come together in life, to allow abundance, love, prosperity, and so on, are fleeting, fragile, and relatively rare, or at least uncommon, in the Earth experience.

In this specific memory and moment, the girl is relatively young (in the sense most of the responsibility and choice of life reside with her parents still, leaving her mostly devoid of burdens), free (in the sense she can behave and respond to the minutia of social interactions and attention on her own, by herself, without the added restraints and responsibilities of a partner/marriage), she is beautiful and youthful (which grants a good foundation for garnering the attention of others), as well as being in such an early stage of life that she has her whole lifetime ahead of her, and as such, she’s living mostly in the present moment, without too much concern for what time she has (i.e. the perspective that is unconcerned with expectations and life objectives due to the natural perception there’s a lot of time left). This is, at least, the perception/interpretation of this memory, associated with it.

Due to, or involved with, this past-life memory, there could be an inner perception that the passage of time itself, on its own, tends to drain away the youthful lightness and perfection of the individual, including in a physical sense, i.e. adding to the body wrinkles, sagginess, weight, and so on. Also, there could also be the perception that the burdens and responsibilities that come with relationships, and with marriage (perhaps also with adulthood in general, still, likely to be specifically about social and romantic relationships) tend to, over time, ‘suck away’ one’s youth, shine, and glow. The perception relationships themselves tend to stifle each other’s Grace, glow, individuality, worth, and sense of freedom (by having to behave by another’s rules for example).

These perspectives can lead to issues that could hamper the manifestation of new romantic relationships (or harm past /present ones).

#1. desiring new relationships, yet unconsciously fearing them due to the concern one will become lost/trapped/frustrated in them (losing your Grace) can and will lead you to prevent the manifestation of them, i.e. act as a force of resistance to their co-creation;

#2. the perception of not being handed the ideal circumstances for garnering the attention of others without effort (ideally youthful and/or attractive physical appearance, social status, moral support or encouragement from friends, family, and so on) from where you feel safe to apply you Grace in, can be especially impactful to you and lead you to a place of low self-esteem, lack, and discomfort, due to the perception you don’t have enough attention from others to work from;

#3. related with the previous point, there’s possibly the feeling of the passage of Time as something that works against you. You may perhaps feel the ideal moment for the best opportunity for connecting with, and receiving attention from, others, was that of early, youthful appearance, and this not just being over and passed, but inexorably pulling you further and further away from it, possibly leading you to be ‘racing against the clock’;

#4. also, possible ego-based/karmic patterns that are based in obtaining and controlling the attention from others. Like all karmic patterns, these would be fueled by your spiritual desire to be in Grace, deep down the core aspiration that is sought at the core of this lesson.

Let us not sugarcoat the fact human life is short, and the passage of time does take its toll – with perhaps noteworthy changes to the physical aspect. It is possible, and advisable, to manage one’s health, exercise, habits, etc. so that one’s physical body is in balance, and ages as best, and as gracefully, as possible (i.e. look good for one’s age). Still, it is still nonetheless important to admit the body will age in physical matter regardless of what one does. This is inevitable, part of life in 3D, and to some extent needs to be accepted, and/or worked around (as opposed to do battle against, or try to avoid). To an extent, there is also Grace in navigating and finding balance between what to resist/counteract and when, and what to accept/tolerate and when.

Additionally, it is also important noting life perspectives also shift and change with age as well. This is due to many aspects: part of it is due to a changing perception of time left to live; some is in due to experience, maturity, and also accrued responsibilities. Going through concerns, and bearing weights, tend to put things into perspective. As time goes on and the human being ages, one will tend to want to stick with what works, and what is known, as well as living more for the moment, these aspects sometimes replacing the vigor and willingness to explore and experience new things continuously. While a certain youthful predisposition, and willingness to stay open to new things and be touched by them can offset this, a proportion of it is simply a natural byproduct of accumulated experience, of going through things, and is, again, inevitable. Today’s new songs may less easily match the ones that marked one in youth; today’s forms of leisure may not sound as inviting as the ones experienced years ago; today’s movies will not be quite as amazing as the ones of our time. The human being is not ‘broken’. He/she has simply lived through things. In short, shifts and changes in perspective and feeling do happen due to the passage of time, and are inevitable to some extent.

Still and additionally, it is relevant to note the spiritual mechanics present here. In this situation and due to perspectives/beliefs, there is the holding on to external reasons/circumstances (ex: time, age, appearance, etc.) to disengage from, and shut down, one’s own Grace. This is perhaps the most important factor. In other words, if I wasn’t afforded – or I’m not at the moment – in/with the best circumstances that (I believe) are going to allow love from others, then I will allow myself to not feel worthy of Love.

Grace is Light (spiritual), and lights up the room. It was the component, the “magical effect”, that truly captivated and drew others towards the girl in the past-life. They were captivated by her due to this Light, her Light, a little like “moths to the lightbulb” in a manner of speaking. It was simply the matter that her circumstances happened to more easily allow her to engage with her own Grace; i.e. she felt it easier to activate It, allowing It to come forth, and stay embodying It.

Would you think this to merely be a flourish, something cutesy, wishy-washy to say? Let’s then offer an exercise. Picture the exact same girl, with the same appearance, parents, social status, and wealth, attending the same ball, and wearing the same white gown. Now, imagine that instead of behaving naturally and gracefully, she was crass and vulgar instead. How different would the energy be?

This example is meant to illustrate how Grace is what actually draws others unto you. So any excuse/reason/pretext you use to shut it down, will contribute to not receiving attention from others naturally, effortlessly. Instead, it will create the opposite effect: it will place a barrier around you, leading you to feel others aren’t interested in seeking you, and aren’t paying enough attention – possibly even leading you to believe you have to fight for their interest.

This type of perception is not necessarily exclusive to you alone. Certainly, most human beings may fall into it, to some degree or another. Still, this is part of the core spiritual lesson present here.

The spiritual lesson, as it pertains this reading and the romantic field, is to connect with your own Grace again, how you know it, and experience it, this attribute of Grace being close and familiar to you. This Grace is already there with you, part of you, therefore you don’t have to “go” anywhere to discover it, you don’t have to invent it, to “have it”. You already do: it is you. What happens is that this Grace of yours may simply be blocked, from yourself by yourself, out of a number of reasons and pretexts, which won’t allow you to activate it.

Another way to put this, is that you are to find ways to allow you to love yourself – which will then lead you to co-create others that truly love yourself back, as a reflection of your own spiritual love you allowed. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean (or only mean) going to sit in a dark room and ‘feel love’ towards yourself. It could be. It may be a part of the equation. If it works for you, perfect. But much like in the past-life it was easier for the girl to be in Grace, sometimes it may be opportune to make the job of self-love easier for yourself, by assisting yourself in that regard. For example, if you have areas of yourself and/or your body you like or admire, then by all means focus on them, appreciate them, value them, and use them to de-focus from the ones you care less. If you find you need to work more on your health and physical balance, so that it becomes easier for you to be in your own Grace, then this may be the path of least resistance. Fundamentally, this is not about others might or might not think or like; but about you: you doing what it takes to get yourself to allow your own Love and Grace. It is a process and a journey, not a one-step magic fix. And it is as spiritual as it is pragmatic.

Finally, it is possible that there could be a tendency to level up the ‘playing field’, so to speak, in other words, to compensate for the lack of favorable circumstances for Grace, with the aforementioned attempts at capturing or drawing away the attention from others. This would be a karmic attribute, in the sense it seeks to control the attention/energy/love/worth of others to replace the attention/energy/love/worth others aren’t naturally willing to afford you. Any such attempts – which can be subtle, as subtle as asking someone a question, implying an accusation in a sentence, and so on – would be aimed at getting and holding the attentions of others towards oneself. While this might be mistaken with Grace itself (as exemplified in the past-life), the difference is that Grace is an effortless and natural navigation of the bountiful energy/attention given from the external (in turn a reflection of the Love/acceptance from Creation) while the karmic pattern is an attempt at controlling it. These are therefore systems of energy control.

The true issue with such an attempt of control, is that it can work precisely in the opposite manner, and push others away instead. Grace itself implies a degree of receptivity, openness, as well as an aspect of ‘shyness’ or ‘innocence’, in a manner of speaking, representing feminine energy open to be engaged without trying to exert control in that regard, other than perhaps protect itself from external imbalance. It permits, allows, others to approach and come, in a safe manner. On the other hand, patterns/systems of control trying to get others to come – again, even if merely subtle, on the level of intention, energy, emotion, and so on – imply the opposite motion: one of action, control, pushing, taking. And so they will tend to create the opposite effect: oppression, suffocation, and/or pushing away (ironically, something which is attempted to be evaded within relationships). Then, the effect of pushing others will compound on their unwillingness to give you attention/love naturally, further cementing the perception you don’t deserve it, thus creating a negative (i.e. karmic), self-fulfilling cycle, generating precisely the effect that is feared.

As such, I consider another aspect of the message of the reading to be, that part of the lesson in allowing Love, and being in Grace, implies actively culling, pulling back from, and/or healing, any possible patterns that envision chasing the energy of others, or attempting to control it. And instead finding ways to feel/sustain one’s own Grace instead – one being directly incompatible with the other. By relinquishing/healing the karmic attribute, one is automatically making space for, and allowing in, Grace. Grace, again, being a spiritually intrinsic to the self, and which is being sought spiritually.