Heart Ki

The Structure of Love – A Tale For Mother’s Day

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Two grownup siblings, brother and sister, were constantly getting upset over their two children, as one of the kids would frequently hit the other. Both children were boys, about the same age. The child who got hit would then run to its mother crying, complaining that his cousin had hit him. An argument between the two brothers would then ensue. But at one point, the brothers realized they were always going to argue over their children. So they made an arrangement: every time one of the children would get slapped by the other, he would either have to hit back, or get hit by his own parent.

This was a real conversation I heard over coffee.

Aggression is not something I endorse, however in this specific case this was a pragmatic decision made by both parents to teach their own children how to stand up for themselves, as well as the consequences of aggression towards another. Apart from overlooking and monitoring the situation from a distance, paying attention to further developments, this executive decision by both brothers gave a degree of responsibility back to their children, ensuring they themselves wouldn’t constantly get upset with each other anymore.

On mother’s day, remember that Love is not only about Caring but also about Structure.

The Structure of Love teaches your children how to stand for themselves and to try to work things out on their own, and also discards burdens you don’t have to carry yourself – being, in this case, the ever-present risk of dealing with the drama and argumentation resulting from every single fight.

The Caring of Love ensures your children are truly loved for who they are, unconditionally, and you’re there to support them should they need to, no matter what.

A balancing of the two will provide for a balanced being.

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