Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading [Written]: A Tale of Two Astronauts

The following is a Akashic Records Reading (Written) originally performed for a client. This is a reading performed over two weeks and delivered to the client in written, essay form. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would impact the original, intended meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Written Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

astronaut floating in space1. Energy

1.1 From Purity to Challenge

When I connect with Margaret’s energy from afar, I feel she is very connected in an emotional and spiritual sense: someone who is deeply caring, compassionate, and sensitive, and who is able to be profoundly trusting spiritually.

At the same time, there is also a strong and rigid element of discipline or structure to her. I feel as if the story of this Soul – in a purely abstract and broad sense – began in purity and innocence: a sensitive and pure-hearted being, very in tune with the spiritual and the subtle nature of reality; but then at some point underwent a series of harsh and difficult experiences, and came out of those lessons a little bit scarred, a little bit cautious and hesitant. Worried if things are being done “right”, if the outcome is going to be good or not.

Margaret dreads the possibility of failing others in some way, or of failing in general. There is a strong fear of failure (and suffering, or causing suffering to others), and a strong sel-fimposed pressure to make the right choice, and do things “the way they must be done”.

Out of the challenges she underwent in her journey, Margaret’s Soul developed, to herself, a number of systems, beliefs, habits, and supporting structures, meant to help her navigate difficulty and hardship, or at least prevent them if possible. However these systems can make it difficult for prevent her to connect with her more ‘soft’, or pure, inner self.

Margaret perceives she has difficulty in connecting with her true, inner self – for example, with what is important and meaningful to her or not. Perhaps Margaret has the perception that she doesn’t feel things properly, for example in personal relationships, or about situations and circumstances that were supposed to be meaningful to her. It’s like there’s a void inside.

Maybe Margaret’s childhood in this life reflected this journey in some way, like a summary. She could have been a creative, intuitive, sensitive little girl, but raised in an uptight manner by rigidly-thinking parents. It is not necessarily the case she went through intense disrespect of violence; but that an external element of discipline and structure (and also dullness) overcame the original purity of the little girl.

She could, for example, have been educated with strong long-term life purposes in mind, such as working for a solid and reputable job or career, but without being allowed much freedom in the simple joys of playing, running, simply being a little girl.

1.2 Sense of Duty

Margaret holds a very strong sense of duty towards others. She feels the need to be, and appear to others as, a solid and strong person. Someone who is reliable, dependable, tough, grounded, and protecting.

She may, for example, have or aspire at having a family with children of her own, and be highly focused in doing everything right, especially in terms of caring, protecting, and educating her children. She could also be caring for senior members of her family who became less autonomous and more dependent.

She may for example be be trying to build a business of her own, and in doing so holding a very strong sense of duty and responsibility towards the employees at her care, to make sure nothing bad happens to them.

Within Margaret there is a soft, subtle inner core of the energy of sensitivity, caring, nurturing. This energy would correspond to her pure, original spiritual Essence – the one she’s trying to re-connect with. Then, as if surrounding/enveloping this core, there is a comparatively more solid energy, of structure, discipline, duty.

This is not a particularly detailed analysis of Margaret’s aura or anything similar – merely an abstract image mainly intended to convey an idea.

In this image, the first inner energy has a soft, smooth surface and round corners; whereas in contrast the outer energy is jagged, rigid, with razor-sharp edges. These edges look as if they could hurt or cut anyone or anything that would simply touch it, at the slightest contact.

This image represents Margaret’s inner world: a pure, soft, subtle core of meaning, encased – and to some extent bound, conditioned – by an external energy of structure. The purpose of the outer shell was benevolent: to protect and shield the more subtle core from pain, from trauma, from unpleasant experience, and from failure. It is a coping mechanism, a protection.

Margaret’s external circumstances in life reflect this inner scenario: she desires to be a protector to those under her guard who appear more vulnerable, ‘softer’. As inside, so outside. However, the protective structural energy has now grown to be so rigid and sharp, that it can often hurt others – and also the self.

1.3 Structure

The concept of structure is difficult to convey because it is ultimately a practical, pragmatic notion. However, it is important to establish this concept for the remainder of the reading.

Structure is an energy, an attitude, a vibration, a stance that is held. “Structure” could be likened, for the purposes of this explanation, to the concept of discipline.

Structure is first and foremost the inner resolve to align with a specific task or goal, and stick it out until the end, for as long as it takes, unconditionally and without caving in – neither to external or internal pressure, until the intended goal is achieved. It is perhaps not so much “understood”, as much as it is trained, practiced.

Structure, as energy, is also the aspect of solidity and sturdiness of things, people, and situations. So for example, if you build a house, the aspect of structure of the house would correspond to how solid and resilient house is in a physical sense; how well it functions in its plumbing and heating; and how good it is at providing solid and enduring shelter to anyone who lives in it. How much and for how long it resists the continued use, the erosion of nature and the elements, and the test of time.

These are opposed to how well the house is designed in an aesthetic sense; how well it is adorned and decorated, giving it a pleasing atmosphere; how well it is lit, heated, and how comfortable, “cosy” it is. How well the design and decoration match the personal preference of the owners. These aspects about the house would not about “structure”, but rather about the comparatively more subtle energies of “meaning”, or perhaps “love”, in a loose sense, if you will.

The energy of structure/discipline also goes by the name of “masculine energy”, while the energy of meaning/love also goes by the name of “feminine energy”. Both energies are important. The house needs both solid structure, and a solid component of love, to provide effective shelter.

If the house doesn’t have a good component of aesthetics and design, if it is uncomfortable and unpleasant to live in, regardless of how well built it is, living in it, in the long term, will become unbearable, unsustainable. Likewise, if the house doesn’t have a solid structure, it will break apart often, requiring costly maintenance, and being a constant nuisance. Worse, it will crumble and collapse to the ground, thus failing in its purpose altogether.

Structure is an energy, and as such it isn’t bad or good – it is what one makes of it. Structure can be taken to the extreme of becoming authoritarian and despotic, denying space for the energies of sensitivity and freedom, and seeking order at the expense of anything else. In this state the component of structure has become exaggerated and unbalanced. Structure can also be lacking. The state of lack of structure is, for example, when one can’t say “No” to someone, or to a situation, even when that would be his/her preferred course of action.

1.4 The Structural Self

In the image offered, Margaret’s outer structural energy is made out of ideas and beliefs that are practical, pragmatic in nature, and are concerned mainly with what works and what doesn’t in “real life”. Such ideas essentially deal with rights and wrongs, what is success and failure, what is correct for each situation for a person to be or do.

Many carry over from past lives and past attempts of the self in making sense of the external world, and in trying to deal with what went wrong. Many are acquired and absorbed from parents, figures of authority, cultural influence, and otherwise external figures and values, from this life.

Examples of structural ideas would be: “being successful is having a high-earning career”, or “to have a successful career you have to study in University and graduate with the best possible grade”. However these beliefs – if interpreted on their own, by themselves – may not correspond to the truth of what is inner.

Let us go back to the example of the strict parents raising the little girl. From the ingrained, unspoken perspective of the parents in life, the truth is that whatever the girl happens to prefer on a whim, ultimately what is most important in the long run is her success at education, and her achievements at her career. This is how they think the girl will be prosperous, and how they can rest assured they will be classified as successful parents.

We’d like to contest this reasoning by asking the following: was that what the girl wanted to do before venturing into incarnation? Was this her spirit’s intent for this life?

Our point is that the reality of one’s inner self is what it is, irrespectively of whatever ideas about what is right or wrong, what should or should not be done – held by others or by the self.

And if such ideas take precedence over the awareness and realisation of the actual reality of inner self, then, the inner self, the only place where one’s truth lies, is left forgotten. This is one of the reasons why Margaret feels disconnection with the genuine inner self.

1.5 Essence

In Margaret, it’s not so much the case that the pure inner self is absent. Rather, it’s simply not being seen and acknowledged for what it is.

Margaret doesn’t seem to be finding her inner self because she’s looking through the lenses of the rigid structural perspective. This perspective can’t see the reality of the inner self, because it doesn’t know what it’s looking for, and it doesn’t know where to look. It doesn’t what it looks like. It doesn’t fit the mold of what is correct and appropriate (according to its views).

Let’s say you’re searching for a main centrepiece to finalise your home decoration. So you ask a construction builder to go to the nearest large DIY, house improvement department store, and you say to him: “find me something nice for my house”. So he goes to the store, and he goes through the many isles, seeking building tools, flooring materials, painting colours, and so on. Finally, he decides to bring back a pair of window curtains – which to you, happen to look absolutely ugly.

If you asked the exact same from a designer of your trust (or had you gone yourself to the store) you’d have noticed the large brick portable fireplace/heater right at the entrance, which just so happened to match your taste and expectations perfectly.

This scenario is not meant as derogatory to construction builders, only as a generic example of a mind more focused on structure – in this case the know-how and experience to build a house from the ground up that is sturdy and resilient, resists wear and tear, and properly services those who live inside – but that wouldn’t perhaps be the ideal choice to handle the design and decoration of the house.

The construction builder couldn’t see what was in front of him, simply because his thought process didn’t conceive it. Much the same way, if you try to seek for spiritual inner Essence coming from a place of external structural perspectives, you aren’t going to find it.

1.6 The Nature of Essence

The human spiritual Essence is subtle, direct, immediate, spontaneous. It exists before any though, idea, or concept. It knows what it wants without question, without thinking twice. It’s as much about feeling as it is about knowing.

Children typically hold an immediate connection with their Essence. When the child goes into a toy store, immediately it gravitates towards exactly what she wants. When the child is in the garden playing with a twig, watching the bugs in the ground, looking for a tree to climb, she isn’t using her mind, saying “what is the most adequate thing for me to do right now?”. Instead she just does. She’s floating along the flow of her imagination and curiosity.

Much the same way, when you go to the theatre, you will (normally, typically) choose what movie to see with your Essence. You don’t think “what movie would be the best for me to see now?” Instead, you browse though the movies and you become aware of the one you want.

But while the Essence does correspond to inner truth, it does not mean it’s always something final, absolute, definitive. It’s not always in a mature state, so to speak. Maturation comes from tempering the raw child-like Essence with the human experience.

When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up, many will answer something like this: “a firefighter, a police officer, an astronaut”. But as you know, not all children grow up to become literally police officers or astronauts. Yet, if the child was connected with her Essence as she gave the response, maybe part of her Essence resonated with the idea of the profession. Perhaps she was drawn to the idea of selfless service; courage; or, the allure of the unknown and its discovery, associated with the idea of space.

Then, as the child grows up, she will refine and reformulate the original idea she had about her purpose, step by step, stage by stage. Perhaps the child who wanted to be a police officer ends up becoming a lawyer, or a judge. Perhaps the one who wanted to be an astronaut ends up becoming an academic of theoretical physics or astronomy. Or not. Perhaps they’ll look at what they had chosen the day before, and make a new choice today.

It is for this reason that care must be taken that the Essence of the child is not to be conditioned or stymied as she grows up. It is through the manifestation of her Essence that she will get to know herself, her purpose, and her role in the world.

Let us now offer a complimentary perspective about the Essence. In the example of the toy store, just because the child asks for a toy doesn’t necessarily mean the parents must concede. Perhaps they’re concerned about the emotional balance of their child, and wish to avoid giving up to her every whim. It is up to their discernment to give the toy to the child or not.

Even so, the child’s desire for the toy will usually be a manifestation of her Essence, to some degree. If she is unable to receive the toy right away, then perhaps she needs to wait for her parents to give it to her – then becoming a lesson in patience and valuing what is desired. Or, even if the child is systematically asking for toys as an emotional compensation for something else, the desire in itself can be an indicator of this mechanism, and consequently, of what is important and relevant for the child emotionally.

Our point is that the spiritual Essence of the human being, while being spontaneous and direct, is not necessarily something to be taken as a rigid, monolithic truth. But it always points the right way.

1.7 Essence and Structure

Margaret’s challenge is how to discern between the structural beliefs of common human nature, from her own inner Essence. And then, how to strike a balance between the two. We do not wish to convey that the practical perspectives Margaret acquired about life are completely wrong and should be thrown away. Rather, she is to acknowledge her own Essence, and then use that practical, common sense wisdom, in a discerning manner, as a support tool for the manifestation of that Essence.

One of the main key ideas this reading wishes to suggest to Margaret, is that her general purpose for this life, or the overall learning process if you will, is not PROTECTING her own; it’s not about being SUCCESSFULL by the measure of external ideas of what success looks like. Instead, it is to acknowledge and ALLOW the inner spiritual Essence to come forth – whatever that Essence happens to be, and in whichever form it happens to
manifest – while using the principles of structure to provide a framework of safety, nurturing, and support, for that manifestation to take place.

These two perspectives might look similar. You are, after all, deeply determined to do things the right way. You want to be protective of your children so they can be successful. Yet, there is a fundamental difference between the two.

In the first idea, the structural element of order and protection takes precedence over the inner Essence. It can hide it, suppress it, and cause suffering that way, for the sake of doing things “right”. While in the second idea, the acknowledgement and putting forth of the inner Essence is mandatory and non-optional, all the while any and all ideas of structure, protection, the desire to do the right thing, are only ever there as support to that Essence – but always secondary, a mean to an end, and never the ultimate goal.

This guideline, applied to herself individually, means that Margaret is to acknowledge her inner Essence for what that Essence is, first and foremost, and then, utilise any principles or beliefs of discipline and order, to temper that Essence in order to keep it in balance – but without suppressing or trying to control it.

When applied to the example of raising children, Margaret’s goal will not be to PROTECT and keep her children safe, in and of itself. Instead, it will be to provide the best possible circumstances and framework for the children’s individual Essence to be seen, brought forth, matured, and refined. Success, then, in a spiritual sense, will be measured by the way they will be able to grow by carrying out their individual exploration of themselves, and live a fulfilled life aligned with that Essence in the physical.

This reading isn’t intended to convey an obligation of having children, be it spiritual, moral or otherwise, i.e. that you “must” have children – only that, if you hold a desire of having children (of if you already have), then that desire will very much aligned with your current lesson/purpose for this lifetime. In other words, raising children would be a way for you to allow the Essence (in this case of another) to manifest, while providing them the supporting and appropriate circumstances for that to happen.

If applied to the example of creating a company or business, Margaret’s main guideline while doing so is not be to protect and safeguard the employees themselves. Instead, Margaret’s priority must be to ensure that the intent and function of the business matches her own vision and idea for it; and that it is successful at what it does – all the while dealing with, and treating, the employees working for her in an ethical and respectful manner.

One thing is to place the success of business above the respect for individuals, “the ends justify the means”, an insensitive and unethical approach – that would be negative, and in that sense, not an option. However, if the priority of a business becomes protecting the employees above the functioning of the business itself, them it will tend to grow neglected, uncared for. It will, ironically, lose its ability to be successful and consequently, to provide for its employees. Now it’s in the other end of the spectrum: an attempt at being “good” and “caring” that is “too good”, and not functional.

So to Margaret’s eyes and for her discernment and understanding, given that she is already mindful of the ethical aspects of dealing with others, we say this: relax a little. Spend a little less energy caring for others. Focus more on the truly crucial aspects of the task at hand, and less about what happens to others. They can take care of themselves just fine.

When one cares too much, the spiritual lesson can often be: don’t care so much.

1.8 Connecting with the Essence: Exercise

Acknowledging her own Essence is Margaret’s desire, and a lesson suggested by this reading. However, Margaret has great difficulty in being in the present moment aware of her Essence. At this point it will not come easy to her.

Connecting with the Essence is not be an on-or-off switch: one moment you aren’t connected, the next you are. Instead, it will be more like a process of learning. An ongoing exploration of the self.

An example of exercise aimed at discovering the inner Essence, can be done with the act of shopping: going to the store or mall with the aim of acquiring clothing, house decoration, domestic appliances, media devices, and so on. The example of watching a movie is also valid.

As you enter the store in search for an item, you will generally be able to tell when you connect with the item of your choice as you see it. You will know the one you want to take. This desire will be a manifestation, or at least a pointer, from your inner Essence. There won’t be much thought necessary: the Essence lies before any thought.

If you need help with such an idea, remember the following: it is the item you would take ideally, i.e. barring any limitations you believe you may have such as available money, the object being or not the most appropriate for your situation, etc. In truth, such considerations will generally be afterthoughts of the structural mind trying to block or impede you from connecting from your Essence – or disprove it if you do.

Your challenge in this situation will be to leave the store with the item you ideally wanted – within your proper circumstances and discernment. As opposed to acquiring an item which was, for example, slightly cheaper, or the one you though would appease those around you, or otherwise the one that seemed the best choice on paper, yet it left you slightly insecure, slightly unsatisfied, in doubt, after the process of acquiring it.

Even if the reasons (structure) for the purchase seem sound at first, an item acquired that does not align with your Essence will not be the most suitable for you energy-wise. It will not serve you as it ideally could. Such an item may for example degrade quickly, break easily upon use, of get lost, for example. Or you will not use it spontaneously in your daily life on your own volition. You will not connect properly with the item – because it wasn’t aligned with your Essence.

Your sense of discipline or structure should aid you in the process of making a purchase, but it should not have the final world in it. It should not be an impediment.

The structural aspect should never say “No” to the Essence.

“Yes”; “maybe later”; “perhaps not now, but some day” – are all valid choices (when meant); but “No” is not an option. “No” is the answer that is harsh and insensitive, and thus causes pain and suffering on contact. It cancels the Essence out and causes it to fade away (or rather your connection to it). Eventually the Essence gives up on trying to manifest itself. And you’ll then feel as if you have no Essence at all.

In many occasions in the human experience, saying ‘No’ is important. For example, to those who are toxic and seek to take advantage of you to unwanted situations; or to situations not aligned with one’s Essence. It is an aspect of the spiritual/energy concept of structure.

However, if one speaks from the Essence, then ‘No’ can never be the answer. The Essence always points in the right direction – nothing else does. The structural aspect is only ever accessory. It is only there to serve, to support – never to be the master. The only master within can only ever be the Essence.

1.9 Be Like the Skyscraper

Much like reconnecting with her Essence will be an ongoing learning process, re-integrating Margaret’s structural self will also be a long-term balancing act.

She might not always know exactly what is the Essence and what isn’t; when to apply structure and discipline or not; how much or how far. And that’s okay! It’s not about discovering a magical solution for all problems. It’s a process of learning balance, and also of trial-and-error process.

The main guideline here is to not to say No to Essence, both to you or others, while using structure to provide a degree of discipline and protection to the experience.

We’ll offer the analogy of the skyscraper. Modern skyscrapers can be built with extreme heights as far as man-made structures go; but at the same time they also need to be flexible – as a defence against natural phenomena such as winds, and most notably, earthquakes. If and when an earthquake hits a skyscraper, its defence mechanism is for the structure to be just flexible enough so it can shake and “dance”, in a way that to a degree it is able to absorb the shock waves while remaining intact and without significant damage afterwards. The same happens with large-scale bridges and many other structures.

If, on the other hand, the skyscraper – already built out of concrete, metal, and otherwise dense and solid materials – was to be completely rigid and unable to move, what would happen when a strong earthquake hits? It’s unable to “shake”, so it just breaks apart.

If you are too rigid, inflexible, and overly demanding – of yourself or of others – you will necessarily stifle the expression of the Essence, perhaps preventing it completely. You will be too disciplinarian, and you will cause suffering simply by not allowing yourself, or others, to be themselves. You will not allow them, or yourself, permission to make mistakes and learn, which is a process necessary for an healthy human existence.

If your structural component is too demanding, part of yourself will crave freedom and liberation from such impossible levels of expectation – from yourself to yourself. By the same measure, those who happen to be under your wing, children for example, will feel suffocated and crave escaping such a demanding figure of authority. This will lead to the possibility of escape patterns that are very lacking in discipline, thus also out of balance.

Such patterns will seem to justify the need for more discipline, control, authoritarian measures. However it is the other way around: the unbalance is being caused by an excess of unmeasured discipline.

Again, you are not meant to completely discard the need for some discipline/structure, or pragmatism. You are to be mindful, conscious, of if and when to apply discipline. You just need to not be so strict towards yourself and others, and in that sense, relax more.

In your structural perspectives, you need to be flexible like the skyscraper.

1.10 Combining Essence and Structure

Let us give an example: if a child wants to play and run outside, a very structural parent would immediately say “No! You’ll get dirty/hurt yourself/get lost”.

These concerns are all valid: but the price to pay for the child’s safety, will be that the child is denied an experience that is not only spontaneous and healthy for her, but critical for her development and growing.

The answer here must not be to block the child entirely, and instead allow her to play. If you’re worried about the child’s safety, about your own schedule, or any other concern, then you’re free to arrange circumstances for the child to play that you are comfortable with. For example, you could go with the child to the park at a given agreed time, and monitor her through the corner of the eye while she plays and runs, from a distance – but without being on top of her.

In this manner you are allowing the child to play in a free and spontaneous manner, but at the same time in an environment and circumstances that are controlled by you. This ensures the risks involved, as well as the gravity of any unforeseen events, are reduced to a level that is comfortable enough for your sensitivity.

You’re allowing the child what she wants, while at the same time honouring and addressing your own concerns regarding her safety, or any others you might have.

Also, if you feel you have gone too far in applying structure or discipline, you need to allow yourself to correct yourself. This is not to say you need to become over-apologetic to others, or to feel as if you’ve made an “error” – it is simply an allowance from yourself to yourself to balance your behaviour.

Without being able to perform self-corrective measures, than can be no balance.

1.11 Inner Child

In many ways, to say Margaret is reconnecting with her Essence is equivalent to say the is reconnecting with her Inner Child.

The Inner Child is the memory of Margaret when she was a little girl, when the connection with her Essence was the most pure and straightforward. Because she then grew farther and farther apart from this state of being, to reconnect back with her Essence is akin to saying she is also reconnecting back to when she was a child – that is to say, with her own child-like ability to experience reality in a spontaneous, simple, and truthful manner.

Margaret’s challenge is, also, how to balance the inner child-like view on reality with her more strict and rigid, structural perspective.

On one hand she might find it difficult to connect to a state of inner purity or meaning; on the other she could also hold certain aspects of herself, for example habits or patterns in her life, that are lacking a component of structure and discipline and therefore grew out of balance and work more against her than for her.

One could say that in balancing both aspects, Margaret will be given the opportunity to be both the child and her own parent: the inner Essence is allowed to manifest and point her in the right directions, thereby lending meaning to things in her life; then, the structural self is tasked with balancing and supporting this Essence so that it is carried out in balance, and in a manner that is healthy and adjusted to the outer world.
2. The Astronaut

2.1 Introduction

What follows is a description of two memories from Margaret’s past.

These accounts could, perhaps, be described as out of the ordinary: they are not past-lives on Earth, but on a different planet. They belong to another cycle of incarnation, one Margaret’s Soul once was a part of.

At this point I usually offer a disclaimer that goes like this: if you find it challenging to take in the information, it could be useful for the purposes of your understanding of this reading and of yourself, to interpret the information as a metaphor – a fictional story meant to convey an idea.

Nevertheless, as far as I’m concerned – and the spiritual teams participating in this reading – what is about to be described is real and did happen.

2.2 In Space

In the first memory I see an astronaut floating in space, in a spacesuit. This is, again, not planet Earth, and not a human astronaut. It is a different being, floating in space around his own home planet.

Focusing on the physical appearance, these beings look short (by human standards), and their body is rather featureless. They strike me as a cartoon-like depiction of a space alien: a short simple body in a beige tone, a small mouth and two very small dark eyes. There’s almost no neck differentiating head from torso. Also, two antennae at the top of the head.

Compared to the human society, they are more or less at the same technological and social stage on Earth of today. They are roughly in the beginnings of their space age, being the voyage of this astronaut one of the first – if not the first – travel to space achieved by this society.

Yet, their consciousness and way of thinking is also more simple-minded.

The precautions they took to have individuals going into space would look underwhelming by our standards today. The technology of their craft is simple and doesn’t have much protection against the environment of space; the space suit is also simple, almost flimsy; the beings in space don’t have much more in the way of special training. Everything about this experience is new for their society. They also didn’t make too much testing with unmanned aircraft or satellites prior to this launch – they virtually went with people first.

Everything about this situation looks and feels very haphazard, at least compared with the seriousness, investment, and preparation such an undertaking involves on Earth.

2.3 Earlier Stage of the Societal Development

On Earth, the standards and safety protocols of, for example, commercial aviation, 50 years ago, would perhaps look rudimentary, naive, maybe even dangerous, compared to those of today. A similar example would be car racing. In the early days, racing cars didn’t have many safety features for the driver. This resulted in very high risk for racers – and consequently, high mortality rates from accidents.

Over time, lessons learned along the way – many of them tragic, costly – generated the need for continuous refinement of the safety procedures, protocols, and technological levels, related to such fields such as aviation, car racing, and any others where there is high risk involved. One could say that out of necessity, the awareness and standards related to these fields grew over time.

In this memory, the standards of the beings appear paltry not only because they are in the very beginnings of their space age, but also because comparatively to the humans of Earth, they belong to an “earlier” experience of evolution of society on a planet.

Their consciousness was perhaps less refined, less mature – not just for the stage of their society but also in broad terms, as a whole – because they belong to an earlier stage of the experience of Souls in the physical. They had less experience, and references, and lesser standards, regarding experience in matter in itself.

Having said all of this, they did have the merit of being intrepid, of being pioneers. They did get things done: here was an astronaut in space.

2.4 The Experience

The memory starts with the astronaut floating in space. The small capsule – quite similar to the simply-shaped capsules that sent astronauts to space using rockets on Earth – floats beside him. He is connected to the capsule by a thin hollow and flexible cable, or tube, that helps provide air to his suit.

I don’t see a specific reason or purpose for the astronaut to have gone outside the capsule on this occasion, other than perhaps doing so as an experiment, a test, scientific in nature. But he’s flustered. As he’s floating without gravity, he’s spinning slightly – not too much, but still a movement that is out of his control.

He has no idea how to deal with the lack of gravity. He has never experienced this situation before. He’s somewhat caught by surprise.

As he’s struggling with his movement floating in space, his visor and view turn towards the planet.

Time stops. A few fleeting moments that turn into an eternity.

In front of him stands his planet, surrounded by a very light and soft blue halo. It’s surface, once was an ever-present solid ground always taken from granted, now a myriad of small details on a distant surface, of a sphere floating in the middle of nothingness. Behind the planet, a sunrise. Beyond and around it, a deep blue sea of infinite, immeasurable darkness.

The astronaut had no true reference or idea of what to expect to see. For all purposes, he is the very first individual to ever see the planet from above, with his own eyes, from that perspective. I don’t see that many pictures or photographs had been taken, up until that point, of the planet from that perspective.

Because he was caught off guard in a moment of anxiety, and because this was as an entirely unknown and unexpected experience, this moment was as raw and potent for him, as much as such a moment could possibly be.

It was a deeply transformative moment, that could never be appropriately put into words. This is the one significant moment of this memory. The astronaut later carries on with his mission, and with his life as a whole. But he is forever marked by the experience.

2.5 Overview Effect

On Earth, there’s a transformative experience astronauts often go through, usually called the “Overview Effect”. This is when they are able to, for a moment or span of time, contemplate the planet from space.

When they see Earth from above, they usually describe seeing a sphere capable of holding life floating in space, with nothing but a soft halo protecting it. The experience is about the realisation of how fleeting, precious, and valuable life is, and also, how in truth nothing separates mankind, other the concepts and ideas people have in their minds.

Much like they are able to see the planet from a broad, overarching perspective, so too, in that moment, they perceive life and existence themselves that way.

The astronaut in this memory had an experience that was of a similar nature – if nothing else, perhaps even more powerful, as powerful as such an experience could ever be.

He was awestruck. It was an experience of raw, pure, unprocessed, awe.

Much like the “Overview Effect” Earth’s astronauts describe, the experience wasn’t merely mental, conceptual. It was a deeply marking moment (maybe even scarring, in a good way) on the spiritual level, for his Soul. It was akin to taking a photograph, where the light is suddenly allowed to go into the inside of the camera and imprint itself on a negative. This situation was left as if “a photograph”, imprinted on Margaret’s Soul.

2.6 Spiritual Transformation

This experience was the precise moment when this specific being, in his cycle of incarnation on this planet, made his transition from the spiritual 3D level of consciousness to the 4D one.

3D is the main level of consciousness on Earth up until this point. This is when individuals, despite having a number of friends or ‘enemies’ in their life, fundamentally consider
themselves as being isolated, alone, left to fend off for themselves in a reality to which they are unconnected, and can at times be dangerous and violent. A person operating from a 3D level of consciousness can at points invest in behaviour that is competitive and can sometimes become unethical and negative, as he/she seeks to survive and thrive.

Transition to the 4D level happens when the person realises, on a spiritual level, that all are One, and all are connected to each other, as well as to a reality to which they belong and are an integral and legitimate part of. This transition may happen, for example, when one gains sensitivity towards the suffering of others – for why would the suffering of others be any relevant to the self, if implicitly others aren’t connected to the self?

In a transformative experience that consists in some way in a transition to 4D, the self realises or feels in some way the connection – which fundamentally is spiritual in nature – between all individuals. This is exactly the kind of experience the astronaut in this memory had.

2.7 Following his Purpose

The Soul was already ready to perform such a powerful transition even before being born. Before the lifetime, it was realized that such transition would be carried out during the incarnation, through a significant memorable event.

After being born, soon the child-future-astronaut felt inside a deep passion towards “going to space”. This desire – which you could call Essence, “from within” – stemmed directly from the knowing on a spiritual subtle level, of the event that was to take place.

When he was growing up there was no such thing as astronauts. Even the concept of space itself, or “sky”, was halfway between folklore and metaphor. The idea of performing any attempts of venturing beyond the known heights was only starting to grow and be carried out by the society. So as you might imagine, the child faced all manner of conceivable adversities and invalidation from others – including from his own parents – about the idea of “going higher” (there was no word for astronaut).

Yet the child’s dream – or Essence – was so powerful and intense within him, that he never really allowed it to be cancelled by the pressures around him. In fact, he couldn’t see anything else in front of him. All he wanted was to be in the stars.

You see, the truth is that, deep down, such a burning desire stemmed from the spiritual realisation of the transition that was meant to take place. And this is true in general for all true desires of Essence: they represent something meaningful and important for the Soul, small or big. That is why they are important.

So our astronaut, even before being an astronaut, got educated, grew and learned as a young “boy”, always being drawn to, always circling around, the general fields of aviation, technology, pioneering science, and flight – even has he had zero clue why he was doing so, or where that would ultimately lead him. He really didn’t know. He didn’t consciously had a “purpose” specifically. He didn’t have any guarantees. He simply couldn’t do anything else.

And at one point, as he was nearing the final stages of his education and learning, he was offered the possibility of participating in some new trials and tests that were being made to “test the skies above them”. It was required the participating of “brave intrepid” (i.e. foolish!) scientists that could go “up there” and make measurements – or at least this was how going
into space was advertised.

He knew about the opportunity firsthand, because really had his antennae “plugged in” to these topics, so to speak. He was tuned to the news. And while for the majority of listeners to these news this was a frightening experience – many turned down, looked the other way immediately – to him this was exactly what he was meant to be doing. You see, this was his call. He was the one to was meant to be doing it.

This was an example of the child who wanted to be an astronaut, and the he grew up to literally become one.

Notice that his choice was still needed. This means that he still had, during his lifetime, to make choices, and carry them out, to “walk” towards the experience he was meant to be. Had he not done so – had he given up or postpone his dreams at any point during his life – then the experience would not have been possible, and would not have happened.

After the experience, after coming back, he was hailed as a hero, a pioneer. He had gained recognition, status (a little like their equivalent of receiving the title of “sir” from the Queen of England). This was not just because he had gone “out there” when no one else had done so. But because he was brave enough in his life to go all the way, and face all the denial and adversity around him, and still do it.

3. The Explorer

3.1 Further Ahead in Time

The second memory belongs to the same incarnation cycle: the same species of beings, from the same planet. It is further in the future, and it is not the same individual who was the astronaut. It is a new lifetime.

However, because there was little complexity and variation in the physiology of these beings, and also because their frame of mind was relatively simple, as discussed previously, what happened was that the same Soul incarnating in a new body, in a new incarnation, would tend to have a physical body that was almost identical to the one in the previous life.

This is because the energy of a spiritual entity does have some impact/influence in the shape and attributes of the physical body it is incarnating in. In other words, even though this is a different life, the individual in this new life is, physically and psychologically, almost like a replica, or clone, of the astronaut in the first memory.

Furthermore, in this life the individual is also connected to the fields of astronomy and space exploration, just further ahead in time. So in many ways, this lifetime is a continuation of the same line of purpose of the previous astronaut.

At this point in time, this society has already made some progress in their space exploration. In particular, they established a small precursory outpost in a different planet, within their own solar system. This would be more or less equivalent to humans on Earth having gone to Mars and built a small, rudimentary base there. And the one who was the astronaut in the previous life, is now part of the the expedition on this planet.

3.2 The Planet

The planet has roughly the same gravity, air pressure, and temperature attributes of their home world. The air on the surface, while not breathable, is closely matched to the air of their own atmosphere, to the point that if they had the possibility of making only a few minor adjustments, they could breathe it directly.

The planet is nonetheless not as easy to live in as their home world. Its atmosphere, of a brown-ish hue, has a slightly greater density compared to their home. At a short distance the visibility was relatively clear; but at medium to long distances, the density of the air makes it turn opaque to the observer, much like watching a bank of fog from afar. And this mist would never cleared up at any point.

This meant that at any given moment, one would not be able to see anything at distance other than a hazy, brow mist, in any direction.

It was the same with the sky. On a clear sunny day on Earth, if you look up you see a wide, clear, blue backdrop, that looks to be far in the distance. This gives the sensation of a clear, open environment. But in this planet the air would turn into a brown mist, including upwards. For this reason there wasn’t so much of a sky, but more of an opaque haze, in all directions, that was constantly active.

Over time, this had the effect of making anyone living on the surface feeling like being in a cramped, closed environment at all times – a little like the “cabin fever” effect, if you will.

3.3 The Base

The base built on the surface of the planet was a single construction, shaped as like a long circular tower, mostly built with a metal of a silver tone. To have an idea of its general shape, imagine, if you will, that you have a spiral staircase and then you cover it with a metal sheet all around.

The tower rises vertically, loosely representing a living environment that was familiar and natural to the beings. The tower also has a large dome at the top covered in glass (or an equivalent transparent material). The diameter of the dome at the top was larger than the diameter of rest of the structure.

The base was located in a somewhat uneven and hilly ground, and its vertical shape was also meant to be able to give the occupants the best possible clear view of the outside around it, in all directions, a little like a watchtower. Since they were relatively short, they instinctively felt comfort in having access to a higher perspective of their surroundings.

Having said this, the construction is not too tall or spacious. It is relatively cramped environment built with limited, rationed resources. In human terms, it would perhaps correspond to a thin habitable structure of around three or four floors, with enough room to stand upright and move about, but not much else.

The base is merely a short to mid-term outpost, meant strictly for scientific and exploration missions, and largely precursory to any more concrete undertakings to have individuals living there – which at this point are only speculative, but do not exist yet.

3.4 Alone at the Base

The memory begins with the astronaut inhabiting the base, all by himself. He is alone at his post, acting as the sole inhabitant. Presumably other astronauts are either in a long-term voyage elsewhere in the planet, or, he will only receive further contact when a new supply trip reaches the planet. Either way, there is the energy of being alone at the base, not in short term temporary circumstances, but of being stationed there for some time.

He is rather agitated and stressed. He’s lucid and aware, but I feel he’s unknowingly suffering from “cabin fever”, or otherwise a claustrophobic reaction to being alone in the cramped base for a period of time – the only place where he can be without a suit and breathe normally. This is further compounded by the claustrophobic effect of the planet in general.

He is feeling the need to go outside in a suit, in order to achieve something. I believe it would perhaps be fetching nearby minerals, or perhaps clearing the space around the base; or perhaps another reason. Honestly I cannot tell for sure – I feel confused and stressed out, not thinking clearly, certainly a reflection of the mental state he was.

Leaving the base alone was a risk in itself, much like leaving the capsule of the Apollo program onto the surface of the Moon. If anything happened to him while outside, there would be no one to assist or rescue him. This was actually one of the reasons the base had a dome: so that anyone inside could easily see if someone outside needed assistance, and be able to help on a moment’s notice.

I feel the reason to leave was not pressing, and it could have very easily been postponed. I feel clearly that his crew members would be back relatively shortly, and at that point they would be able to lend him the support he needed. But, he’s feeling an ever growing need to go do something, as an excuse to leave. It was an urge, a necessity, to feel he was making something happen – as a reaction to the enduring claustrophobic state.

So he says to himself “what the heck, nothing’s going to happen”. And he leaves.

3.5 Outside

He walks outside towards his task, dragging his feet. I feel as if the suit he’s put on is too short for his size – the top of the helmet or hood of the suit is pressing against the top of the head. Neither was the suit meant to be used by him, nor was he supposed to be walking outside. This is also a metaphoric representation of the haphazard manner by which this situation is being carried out, and also further impacting on his feeling of being cramped.

He reaches the spot where he’s supposed to carry out his task, a short way from the base behind a hill, from which the top of the base and the dome are still visible. He then kneels down on the ground and proceeds with his task (which I still can’t quite discern what it is). It looks like he’s manually doing something on the ground, like spreading dirt and soil away with his hands. He’s cranky, in a mood, and does this with sudden, abrupt movements.

This lasts for a short moment, after which he gets up and proceeds to walk back to the base. As he does so, he notices the suit has a very large tear along his left upper arm.

Perhaps it was due to the stressful manner in which he moved, combined with the mismatch of size the suit. He didn’t quite understood when or why the tear was made. He only noticed it the moment he got up. The suit is now leaking, letting all the air out and letting all the unbreakable atmosphere in.

The suit doesn’t have a large air supply: it only carries the air inside it, without any air reservoir or similar mechanism. These beings have a physiology with a small and slow air intake; the air inside a suit would last around 15 minutes under normal circumstances. Still, all walks outside the base had to be fleeting, and were dangerous precisely because of this. That’s why the dome was there, as a precaution.

He tries to walk fast towards the base. It’s the only thing he can do. But at the same time, he instinctively knows he’s gone from the second he saw the tear. He just has no way to go back in time.

And just like that, in the most unceremonious of ways, without anyone else being there to see it or help, he topples forward and falls to the ground.

And there he stays, in silence, face down, stretched in the sandy floor.

3.6 Essence vs Carelessness

The two memories in this reading can be used to offer clarity concerning the difference between following the Heart/Essence, and acting on impulse without the Essence’s support.

In the first memory, the person (or the being who Margaret’s Soul once was) was moved by an intense passion and drive towards something he felt from within. As he made his choices in life, he had no certainties or guarantees; there was nothing concrete, palpable about it. Therefore, surely, there was a level of risk and uncertainty involved in his life choices. Yet, deep within there were as an incalculable element of certainty, and of trust, that at the same time was very strong and reassuring.

This was an example of following one’s Essence from within. And because of having the courage of following his Essence, he was rewarded in his life with the most absolute and intense experience of awe, and also with the recognition by others.

It is also an example of Margaret’s spiritual capacity to trust Spirit and devote herself to her Essence, to an extreme and positive degree.

The second memory is not an example of following one’s Essence. On a first glance it could look like it is – the person is “doing what he wanted” – but he was acting out of state of anxiety and stress. The background feeling behind this memory is not positive, rather it is of stress, impulsiveness, and loss of control. The astronaut took unnecessary risks without a particularly meaningful reason. He was also trying to have more control (to “make things happen”) in a situation he had little control over. But because of that, he was left even more out of control.

3.7 Non-Conductive

The truth was that the planet in the second memory was not only inhospitable on a physical level, but in metaphysical terms as well.

In simple terms, much like a planetary body (a planet, a moon, for example) have a set of characteristics that make them more or less suitable to physically sustain life, this also happens on the metaphysical level: a planet may be more or less suitable for a Souled being to comfortably exist and live on its surface, while still sustaining a stable inner connection to his/her own spiritual self.

This planet wasn’t very conductive to the inner spiritual connection of a Souled being. In particular, it had on the spiritual self a similar effect than that of the physical: over time, one’s connection with one’s own spiritual components would as if “cramp up”, become oppressed, and eventually close down. The mental/emotional self would feel psychologically suffocated by the general conditions of the planet; and the spiritual self would also feel suffocated in an equivalent manner.

So the astronaut was all alone for a significant period of time, in a cramped metal habitation, in a planet with a cramped environment, and with his spiritual connection starting to become cramped and destabilised as well. Together with the relatively superficial levels of safety measures and protocols, this simply was a recipe for disaster. Without being aware of this, the astronaut (the being who Margaret’s Soul once was) cannot really be faulted for acting the way he did.

This memory was cleansed, and rescued from that scenario in a spiritual level.

3.8 Residual Patterns

Some elements and patterns regarding Margaret’s memories in this incarnation cycle, and the second memory in particular, could have carried over into her current experience. An example of this would be he sensation of claustrophobia/suffocation.

The accumulation of experiences in this incarnation cycle, both regarding directly these two memories as well as the overall experience in that society as a whole, would have lend Margaret in her current reality a vague sensation that in life, there’s little room for error: that life is extremely harsh and unpredictable, and every minor accident or distraction will incur in critical, catastrophic consequence.

The perception that anything can very easily go very wrong at any time, would lead to an attempt at exerting high amount of effort in doing everything absolutely right in all pursuits and goals.

This is due to the fact that part the nature of that specific society, and that specific incarnation cycle, was getting to grips with the notions of structure and discipline. It was one of their core spiritual goals, or themes: to learn and develop structure. But because of this, they were inexperienced in that regard.

They were aloof and simple-minded; their standards were simplistic and shallow. So what happened, was that they had a general life experience that was very risk-laden and accident-prone. Accidents with severe consequences were relatively frequent, being the second memory of this reading an extreme example.

However, for Margaret, this stage of learning belongs in the past. She is no longer in a context of experience where she is to be vulnerable to frequent high-risk, high-stake situations (although she could attract or have attracted at some point in life situations or scares of such kind due to these memories).

That is not to say that physical matter does not require mindfulness and discernment; just that the high-risk reality Margaret fears is no longer here.

Margaret’s stage right now is different: it is precisely to adapt the structure acquired from her past, and implement it in her life, in a balanced and appropriate manner, while allowing the manifestation of her Essence, and that of others.

That is, in truth, the core message of this reading.