Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading [Written]: Red and Blue

The following is a Akashic Records Reading (Written) originally performed for a client. This is a reading performed over two weeks and delivered to the client in written, essay form. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would impact the original, intended meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Written Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

Part I: Spiritual Overview and Insights

1.1 Angelic and Devic Realms

Clara’s spiritual background contains connections to the Angelic, as well as Devic, Realms (both).

In the reality on Earth, a human being has one life, lived from one point of view, seen and felt from behind their two eyes. This is what he/she knows, this is the perspective they’re familiar with. But on the spiritual level, he/she is multi-dimensional. This is a ‘trendy’ term that means the Soul had experiences other than in the current lifetime, but also, how the Soul can co-exist in several multiple places, often at the same time. Consciousness is complex, and exists beyond the linear (clock) time of physical matter. The one we see on Earth as the human called John or Alice, may have been (or be) in other places, as Ingrid the angel, James the deva, and/or Beatrice the spirit guide, for example. This can be somewhat strange for the human to comprehend. Still, Consciousness can project to several different places, for lesson and experience, like a source of light can separate through a prism. Without going through a exhaustive list of all manifestations Clara has ever had – as this is not the purpose of this reading – this is nonetheless what we mean by ‘connections in the spiritual background’: generally speaking there is a familiarity, experience, and closeness, of Clara as a Soul in manifesting into not just the physical realm on Earth, but into other realms, of other types, as well.

A word about the Angelic and Devic realms. Again, the idea is not to perform a comprehensive analysis of these realities, but rather offer an overview of them so you may get the gist, an idea, of what they are about. The Angelic realms refer to the entities assigned in support primarily to those Souls who are incarnating as human beings in the physical plane. They provide service and support, depending on what is needed, to personal lessons and experiences of each Soul, during their physical lives, and help steer said lives so that they serve the person’s spiritual purposes and aims. The focus of Angelic service is the Soul and its spiritual lessons.

It is usually said angels, strictly speaking, do not incarnate themselves. While this is not “incorrect”, for the purposes of this explanation let’s interpret this statement in a general, rather than strict, manner. Angelic energy itself serves in a fully altruistic fashion, without any type of concerns or agendas of its own, i.e. without any physical body or human ego, purely aligning with the Light’s directives in service to the the human being. But, you can have an aspect of a larger, broader Soul serving in the Angelic hierarchies, without the broader Soul being exclusively (i.e. only) Angelic in nature. In other words, the Soul can be Angelic in a certain context, from a certain perspective, but It may also be other things, fulfill other roles, also. Additionally – and perhaps complicating things further – entities who serve both in angelic service, while also having close experience with incarnating or (re)incarnating themselves in the same context, may be referred to as spirit guides.

These are just terms, words, and ideas used in this written document, to attempt to describe what happens to be deemed necessary and relevant for the purposes of this reading. Going too far and/or too deeply into specifics of them wouldn’t necessarily serve the purposes of the reading. The only thing that is essential is having an essential notion of what the terms are intended to mean.

The Devic realms, on the other hand, refer to the line of service dedicated to support the physical setting itself – in other words, the animals, the plants, the environment, the geology, and otherwise the planet itself, and not just on its physical level but especially the superimposed subtle, energetic layers. Granted, the planet isn’t disconnected from those who are incarnating in it and their lessons – but it could function without, or apart from, them. In other words, there’s a level of functioning to Nature that is ‘automated’ so to speak, i.e. it doesn’t “depend” on the Souls incarnating there. This functioning can be cared for by the entities of the Devic realms, or Devas. The more known entities of these realms are those commonly referred to as fairies, gnomes, and so on.

Both the Angelic and Devic realms have hierarchies of their own, naturally described, and composed, by the levels, roles, and responsibilities of the entities operating within them. Much like an enterprise may have a CEO, plus an array of managers, analysts, consultants, etc.; and a family has grandparents, parents, children, cousins, uncles, etc., nothing is really preventing one from having multiple aspects participating in the various spiritual hierarchies – it would be like being a CEO/manager/consultant in a company, while also being someone’s parent, child, grandparent on a familial level, for example. Or having cousins and uncles while being a cousin and uncle to someone else, within the family. And so on, and so forth. This is simply intended to transmit that these hierarchies and realms, while certainly having rules and definitions to them, aren’t to be interpreted as strict, restrictive definitions, rather describing roles entities may fulfill and subscribe to, at any one time.

1.2 Idealistic and Pragmatic

Clara’s spiritual energy could be observed, under a certain perspective, to be composed by two core sides. These are not specific past-lives, personalities, etc. These are two lines, two “modalities” of her energy, co-existing together and simultaneously. They are as if two ingredients in a soup, blended together and not apart, but you could still refer to either one or the other to describe them.

The first aspect relates to her close proximity and familiarity with the Devic and Angelic realms. From her experience in these realms, she knows how it is to be immersed within a constant connection with Source’s energy, and Love. One side of her as if knows how Love should be like.

This connection with Source isn’t just about ‘love’ in terms of feeling, emotion (it is also, but it is more than that). It’s just as much about service, duty, and responsibility, as well. Angelic and Devic entities provide their service and support based on their pure connection to Source/Spirit/Light. Angels are, and need to be, in constant attunement with the Light and its directives, in order to discern at all times what it is most appropriate and serves the Soul’s greatest good. What serves the Soul isn’t always what the human being would choose for himself! And it is not always necessarily mellow, pleasant, or leisurely either. Yet, the Light is, or can be, supreme, direct, powerful, and straightforward. And it may take a degree of discipline, of a dutiful mindset, to apply Light’s directives. It is from this clarity, from this directness, a ‘choiceless’ strength (it is what it is) that Angels ‘function’. Angels are loving beings, but they need to be focused and disciplined as well.

Devas, on the other hand, provide their service in a different, but similarly direct and powerful manner, in their own way. While intelligent and witty, devas tend to be emotional, curious beings, of relatively simple behavior. They discern what they do next based on their sense of curiosity, and their feelings: what element of nature, what flower, what tree, what part of the geology, what part of the ecosystem, needs tending the most. And they do so simply by behaving how they feel: where they feel they need to go next, they go; what they feel they need to do, they do. They let themselves be ‘touched’ by what surrounds them, so they know what needs to be done next. This straightforward, unfiltered following of inner impulse is possible, it works, due to their close proximity with Source’s energy. No more is required. They are sensitive to know the truth of things, by paying attention to how they feel, and acting upon it.

These forms of service are fundamentally different from the spiritual service entities perform by incarnating in physical matter. In the Angelic and Devic realms, entities are projecting from Source, but there isn’t a clear separation from it. Whereas the process of incarnating into a physical setting involves a degree – depending on the physical setting – of ‘forgetfulness’ which creates, simulates, the illusion of separation from Source. The individual in a physical body will not recall he’s one with, connected to, Source – or, perhaps, that such a thing even exists. The nature of service that is ‘produced’ by incarnation (other than the service Souls perform to each other of course) is based in Free Will. Learning comes from understanding some choices bring you closer to the Light, while others take you farther from It. Spiritual service is carried out by the Soul and shared with Creation, to a large extent, by learning which choices are aligned with the Light, or more aligned, and which ones aren’t, or are less.

Clara’s spiritual background from the Angelic and Devic realms lend her a reference of true connection with Source, and therefore, of genuine Love. This reference applies to life perspectives in general, involving concepts of happiness, hope, joy, etc. but also to ideals of romantic love. These would be the ideals of happy endings, the living happily ever after, perfect communion, harmony, and agreement (alignment with the Light in the angelic/devic realms implies one ‘truth’, therefore, usually, a form of intrinsic, automatic “agreement” of all, about what truth means). The notions of love prevalent in such fictional things as those of soap operas, movies, or commercials. A love that’s true, potent, and immutable. A love that, once major hurdles are conquered, goes into a pedestal and is set in stone.

This side could be described as, perhaps, idealistic. It’s the side of puppy love. It imagines what Love truly is, how it could be like, how it should be felt. However, it’s not that it’s false. This isn’t coming from some fantasy, in the sense of being an illusion, a fantasy. Rather, it is real: it comes from Clara’s references of what a pure, uninterrupted connection with Source feels like, in the types of realities this is possible, or easier. It comes from ‘fairy tales’ – literally.

The other side of her energy is maybe an opposite end of that spectrum: it’s about the practical aspects of living in physical matter, and the inherent difficulties of doing so.

It just so happens Clara is profusely experienced at incarnating in the physical realms as well – not just on Earth, but on many other realms, going back into the past.

When incarnating in physical matter, the degree of separation creates a kind of difficulty that doesn’t exist in either the Angelic of Devic realms. As you might imagine, it’s quite difficult to manifest and live the same level of spiritual connection, and Love, as it’s possible/viable in other realms – because of the inherent separation from Source induced by incarnation. Naturally, this extends to the experience of relationships and romantic connections, themselves, also, a form/opportunity of experiencing Love in the physical realm. This is to say, that it in practice it can be quite difficult to experience true, genuine love in romantic relationships. There’s always something getting in the way: love that started strong but faded and is no more; love that was powerful and overwhelming one moment, then disappearing in the next; trust that is broken; thing that were loved but became unloved; or, simply love that wasn’t there to begin with.

As a result – and as far as experiences in incarnation go – this gives rise to a strong contrast between the ‘ideal’ level of connection possible in other realms, and the multitude of possibilities for failure, in love, during life in the physical. This gave rise to a second side to Clara’s energy: a far more pragmatic side, in stark contrast with the first, more idealistic one. This side is almost expecting things to fail, to not go well, if not at the start then eventually, and for things to never really be ideal/perfect. One that is very practical-minded, almost cold, coming from a long path of holding the (legitimate) high expectations about love, aiming for the ideals of love and harmony held within, but almost always, sooner of later, being disappointed, disillusioned, and now, being in a state of almost expecting it by default. This pragmatic side is strongly practical-minded, to the point of being even cynical at points. It is so used to difficulty that it is almost in a permanent state of discontentment, maybe even anger.

It is to be noted that within this same side there’s also the extremely strong sense of focus in diligent service, which, again, also comes from the nature of service provided in other realms. These, each in their own way, are about a type of spiritual service that is highly focused, clear, and strong, as previously explained. In a sense, in those types of spiritual roles there’s no room for “personal choice”: things are what they are, they are clear, they are straightforward, and so what needs to be done will be done. So this more pragmatic side to Clara is also a side that’s used to the seriousness and discipline side of spiritual service – in a broad, subtle, spiritual sense – and in performing it dutifully and efficiently. Much like the first aspect knows pure/true Love because it has experience of it, this second side is also very real and legitimate: it knows, from within (knows “the ropes”) the focus and strength of service on the spiritual levels.

This more pragmatic aspect of Clara is very clear-minded about what’s necessary, and what needs to be done, in any given situation. It’s about practicality, pragmatism, and focus. It undervalues embellishment, bells and whistles, and tends to disregards generalizations, abstractions. It is ultimately practical: it renders down things to what they need to be, and no more. What’s important and practical come first. It can be quite stoic, spartan at points, and unrelenting: if something’s deemed necessary, it will happen, no matter how unpleasant. This energy feels like a harsh taskmaster. There might be an unconscious tendency to co-create, draw unto the self, experiences/situations of intense difficulty and/or setback, without warning or preparation.

One side effect of this, is that the self has an acquired a in-built level of courage or steeliness, in the sense that it can cope with difficulty without being terrified, becoming out of control, or lost, in the presence of challenge. Pain is pain, and difficulty is difficulty. But, consciously or unconsciously, the self is aware that even experiences of pain can contain productive lessons. Here, for better or worse – and even though it might not appear at first glance – there is an ingrained sense of trust of a spiritual nature: the trust that even pain can be a spiritual teacher. We could go so far to say that the self isn’t fazed by a little pain, if there’s something to be gained from an experience of it, such as acknowledging what’s truly important in life, re-ordering one’s priorities, or simply the value of enduring hardship. Note that it’s not like the self actively seeks out pain, nor is this reading offering a justification for suffering; it’s just that the self is able to seek the value it the experience of pain, when pain is experienced, and to to the extent that’s possible and applicable.

Unconsciously, and on a subtle, spiritual level, it may be there’s some saturation of bias towards pain. The self got so used to such persistent levels of pain and discomfort of the physical setting (to a large extent, due to never getting the ideal level of connection/love it knows it exists) that this pragmatic side is now almost as if embracing pain as the service that needs to be done. “If that’s how you serve in the physical, then this is how I’ll serve”. “If that’s how it’s supposed to be, then that’s the way it will be”. Which is to say – and even though there isn’t any pleasure in going through pain and difficulty – there’s perhaps an over-focusing in it i.e. assuming pain “has” to be there, that it needs to be that type of experience. You could say there is an abundance of bias, perhaps excess, towards pain as a source of lesson.

We would observe, on top of the previous considerations, that Clara is going through an intense stage of discontentment and assessment of her personal life. We’d also observe she’ll likely not be satisfied with any information presented by this reading in a wishy-washy or generalist manner (“all is well”, “all is Love”, etc.), i.e. things that would perhaps be nice to hear, yet may not be of much tangible, applicable value. On the other hand, it might be difficult for the reading to convey a final, global message in a way that is optimistic, inspiring, uplifting. This is simply because the reading is bound to the energy being read. We’ll nevertheless make the effort to transmit the information in a positive and uplifting manner, and providing clarity, as much as possible.

On a deep, spiritual level, but perhaps with some visibility in applying to the romantic theme, a side of Clara naturally holds ideals of true, genuine love – while the other sees such perspectives as fantasies, illusions, utopias: things aren’t real, or at least are extremely difficult, if not impossible, to exist in real life (or be sustained, maintained that way). But there’s an intense level of frustration about this as well. Neither one of these sides seems to fully provide satisfaction, peace. Clara would want answers and solutions that could go further than just ‘pain’.

1.3 Trust Issues (1)

In the Angelic and Devic Realms, feeling is everything. Angels feel into their perception of the Light, Devas feel into their emotions, and all of those are spiritually true and sound. It’s not just about trusting feelings, you actually rely on them to direct your actions. Feelings are the foundation for acting in these realms, as they directly reflect truth and alignment, in a direct, clear, simple manner.

In the physical world, this is different.

Modern-day spiritual messages often say to listen to one’s feelings. And, granted, nowhere in this reading will you hear this is untrue. One’s feelings/emotions are a reflection of one’s inner state. So ignoring them, or blocking them out, is a surefire way to disconnect within and live life in dissociation with oneself – which, needless to say, is unbalanced and unhealthy. Feelings remain a reflection of truth.

However, it isn’t necessarily true that one’s feelings and emotions are always to be taken to the letter, followed to a T. The fact one bears intense feelings doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll take you in a ride to Never-land. In life, nowhere is this more true and poignant than with romantic relationships. This is a practical consideration above any and everything else: how many times does falling in love means the person is actually right for you? How many times does it mean the couple will get along harmoniously, live a long married life, etc? How many times do intense emotions mean to a stable, enduring relationship, where both partners are able to truly trust each other? How many times do feelings mean true love (whatever that happens to be)?

In the physical world, and in a practical, experiential sense, feelings on their own may not always be trustworthy, i.e. to be interpreted as the sole truth one has regarding a certain matter, or person. This alone seems to question the validity of the mantra of trusting one’s feelings.

These things are a complication derived from the nature of the physical experience. We’ll go a little further in this analysis. For example, the biological/social self may become attracted to a potential partner who is perceives as being powerful and/or socially influential, and well adjusted to society, even if otherwise this partner is psychologically or emotionally unstable or incompatible, and unable to form a healthy relationship with the self. So you (not you specifically, the human being in general) may end up falling in love (and, therefore, perhaps interpreting this falling in love as a sign of love) for someone who’s actually incompatible. In other words, falling in love without the presence actual love.

Going one level deeper, when the self encounters someone in this lifetime with whom they share intense karmic (negative) connections from unsolved experiences from past-lives, the self may almost immediately and/or very easily experience intense emotions and a strong pulling towards the person, often as soon as they see them, when they first meet them, sometimes experienced as the ‘punch in the stomach’ (the area of the 2nd chakra). This type of sensation tends to press on the exact same buttons the process of falling in love does – and will usually be intertwined with them – and so will mistakenly be interpreted, again, as falling in love, and love. It is, and it isn’t: the self is willing to venture once more into the “adventure”, to try to solve the karmic issues it shares with the person. But, again, without necessarily the presence of actual, true love of the spiritual kind. This is another aspect contributing to a level of unreliability of one’s feelings.

Whenever in the past Clara manifested in the physical throughout Creation, the accumulation of experiences gradually, bit by bit, one at a time, undermined her confidence in the truth of her own feelings. Even if emotions were felt intense and strong, they could still lead to situations of lack of love, lack of harmony, or, strong initial love but then to its fading and dissolution over time. This was a stark difference with her experience in the Angelic and Devic realms, where she could (and was supposed to) trust her feelings.

Trust Issues began developing in Clara. Initially, it was about her own feelings. This was a significant matter to her, due to her familiarity with Angelic realms and the Devas, where feelings were a pointer, in those realities, to (actual) truth – a pointer she was habituated to and confident about. But in the physical, they didn’t always seem to point in the right direction. When in the physical, she began questioning feelings. And she began questioning if there was such a thing as ‘true’ love. She questioned if it existed, and if so, if it was possible to enact it on the physical. Over time, Clara explored various possibilities across many past-lives, such as for example not following one’s feelings, i.e. engaging with others, and marrying, without the presence of feelings/emotions, etc. Feelings were questioned, and so were choices based in them.

Trust Issues also gradually began developing between the self and the partners. This was in part an external reflection of the trust issues within, now manifest in the behavior of partners: a degree of distrust in love manifested externally as partners whom she could not trust. In part, this was influenced also by some difficulty in dealing with the metaphysical concept of Free Will.

In the angelic realms, the Light as perceived by angels is, for all effects and purposes, evident, adamant, in a way, unilateral. This effect is because things are apparent and evident, and so there isn’t that much space for individual doubting, guesswork, and so on. What is, is, and isn’t, isn’t. The same thing happens with the Devas, in that they’re following their emotions closely, without much need for any other manner of thinking and being. Furthermore, we’d observe that, in a general sense, in the Light/Spirit there is wholeness, completeness, Unity – as opposed to separation, disagreement, disharmony. This lack of separation equates to a state of always being immersed in Love, permanently, which is the natural state within Spirit (capital S).

In the incarnating Souls, in the physical world, once more there is contrast with these things. Individuals being free willed means that, in a relationship between a couple, each person is free to choose their own way – and this implies one is free to choose to leave the other, abandon the other. In particular, any and all experiences of rejection and abandonment – the chosen partner choosing to leave the self, for example – were especially difficult, taking into consideration the expectation of Unity/completeness (unconditional Love) the inner self of Clara would otherwise expects, when aspiring for the experience of Love. Because Love to her equates to Unity.

1.4 Trust Issues (2)

The experiences of abandonment/dissolution of the relationship, whenever they took place, were felt as 1) a form of separation/unlove, and 2) a failure. And so there were attempts to cope with them, and their possibility of happening.

These attempts involved, to some extent, seeking adherence and affiliation to family/social/cultural constructs endorsing/enforcing partnerships and marriages in such a way that they maximized the possibility of the couple staying together. There was the perception that love alone was a weak thing; in other words, feeling wasn’t enough (distrust). Bonds purely out of ‘feeling’ weren’t strong enough to keep two partners reliably together, for any considerable amount of time. They didn’t provide “guarantees”. Underneath this belief was the suspicion, distrust, about feelings, and about love itself. When explored deeply enough, the distrust would doubt the existence of love altogether. This was a theme that was explored extensively while incarnating the physical.

It is possible Clara in this lifetime found herself affiliated with, perhaps subscribing to, familial and cultural beliefs that were somewhat rigid and conservative in nature, in the sense they’d promote the married couple staying together as the cultural norm, and regardless of ‘personal feelings’, or whims, of the moment. Feelings were seen as volatile, shaky things, which can’t be relied upon (trusted) to any significant extent. The family and cultural beliefs would then provide external support that would contribute to “anchor” the relationship and hold it in place, without which it would otherwise probably crumble.

However, these sets of familial values can be taken to the extreme of disregarding all personal feelings completely. The issue comes when the adoption of such conservative perspective/values implies disregarding feelings. This can be taken to the point of seeing feelings as actively false, an illusion, and the adoption of fixed, culturally established relationships as the only connections that are possible and “true”. In other words, I see the word ‘love’ as something that’s purely childsplay (idealistic, naive, volatile, feeling-based), and choosing the institution of marriage instead, as the only possible safe choice. Partners are then chosen who conform to such beliefs, so the relationship can exist and be maintained.

The problem is that this will actively lead to Loveless relationships – that is to say, relationships without any love. The self believes there is no actual love, and so this is reflected as the type of relationships it has. Or, it believes that there is either short, quick intense ‘love’ (young, naive), or the version of ‘love’ (?) of the marriage that is dry, stale, and disconnected, and no other possibilities in-between these two forms of love. Stuck between two things that aren’t really a solution, the self chooses the one that is safest, most stable – because it provides some semblance of union, unity. Or, at least, it tends to prevent the experience of abandonment.
Going one step further in the scale of undesirable consequences, in this line of choice neither the matter of absence of Love, nor the spiritual issue or Trust, are solved or even addressed. Relationships are made to be rock-solid and whether the test of time. However, they don’t mean anything.

They also don’t actually mean the Free Will of the other is under total control.

The spiritual issue of mistrust could and would lead to partners who could, and would still ’embark on adventures’, in other words be unfaithful, even in marriage. The partner would abide by the mantra of staying in the marriage no matter what (since they’d been chosen for those shared values) but at the same time they’d also cave in to the desire to explore outside of the relationship, i.e. still making use of their Free Will.

Multiple factors would contribute to this. The fact that there wasn’t actually love in the marriage, could lead the partner to seek to fill the “gaps” it felt in it, the way they conceived it. The intrinsic, spiritual lack of trust within could metaphysically co-create partners that were not to be trusted.

Also, this mold of relationship was unconsciously chosen to limit the Free Will of the other person (or of the self, if that was to be the case) so that one wouldn’t abandon the other simply on a whim, or because of a moment of weakness/frailty/vulnerability. But this underlying intention would inadvertently lead to a heavy, individually oppressive climate within the relationship – because the underlying, energetic intention was to restraint the Free Will of the other. Free Will is a metaphysical, sacred property of the Soul. When energy is suppressed, becomes trapped, and has nowhere to go, it tends to leave in an uncontrollable fashion, and sometimes in a less than appropriate manner. One such possible manifestation would be the unfaithfulness of the partner. But because of these things, Free Will itself, i.e. the ability of the partner to think and behave autonomously, was increasingly seen as the cause of the problems. These things seemed to justify the distrust that was already felt to begin with.
There was a continued tendency across multiple lifetimes to seek of an ever stronger external framework to support the failings of ‘only love’ – yet those frameworks would support less and less Free Will, and less and less love, making relationships sturdy on paper yet brittle on the inside. Untrustworthy partners were drawn to the self out of inner beliefs and fears that were never addressed, and who could only respond to suppressive relationships in their untrustworthy manner, further perpetuating the beliefs about lack of trust, and lack of faith in love. The patterns of lack of love and lack of trust became more and more prevalent.

The self, forced to deal with continued situations of mistrust and betrayal, experience upon experience, lifetime after lifetime, would cope by seeking refuge in those external frameworks more and more. Until the self became accustomed to, almost expecting, betrayal. In the present lifetime, given the level of proximity and frequency of the experience, Clara may almost expect unfaithfulness from a partner, regardless if this is actually manifested of not. The choice at this point became less between a) volatile love or b) stable but loveless relationships, to being between either a) having low-quality relationships, or b) having nothing at all. What was perceived as the lesser of two evils would usually be preferred: being in a poor relationship, even one fraught with mistrust and betrayal, if it meant its cessation wouldn’t happen. Safety was exchanged for respect. Affiliation grew with any and all cultural beliefs that promoted couples being together as a rule, even if implicitly admitting infidelity, betrayal, or otherwise lack of integrity in any way – even accepting and even endorsing them i.e. “this is how relationships are supposed to be”.

In this karmic pattern, out of deep disenchantment with love and relationships in life, loveless relationships were accepted, and actively endorsed. Consequently, by these beliefs loveless relationships were manifested and chosen. Situations of lack of love from partners did not arrive by chance or fortuity, they were fundamentally created by the self’s choice. The critical point of karma for the endorsement of loveless relationships is the belief/fear that the other person will leave if afforded complete freedom to do so (i.e. if they were to be left to their own Free Will). Hence relationships designed to prevent the freedom of choice of the partner would be preferred. This is the pattern and spiritual background Clara is ‘coming from’ spiritually, and which likely had influence over present of past relationships in this lifetime.

But while the concept of ‘strong/durable’ relationships may sound appealing for someone disenchanted with love, Love is something that is real and does exist. Albeit difficult at times, it is not an illusion, a falsehood. Any and all Souled beings will eventually feel unsustainable to endure relationships without Love, demanding It instead.

1.5 Limitations of the Reality

This Akashic Records reading is based in the metaphysical truth the outside reflects the inside at all times (often labeled as ‘law of attraction’). In other words, one is at all times creating their own reality via their perspectives and choices. Therefore, in order to fundamentally change one’s reality, one must focus inside first, working on those perspectives and choices. In other words, the solution is not external, it is internal. Focus must be given to this, so that a new type of experience can manifest. Without this focus within, nothing can, or will, change. Situations might come to a close, and new ones may be started, but they will be a continuation of the same energy, or similar. What is genuinely new only comes when something different is chosen. It is in this sense we’re offering the explanation.

The perfect state of Love/connection present in other realms (i.e. both the spiritual connection with Source, and also the idea of perfect Love of romantic kind) are impossible on physical Earth.

Don’t get us wrong: the point of any experiment in a physical reality, its long term goal, and this includes society on planet Earth, is to gradually elevate the level of consciousness, so that the society as a whole reaches the highest possible levels of harmony, peace, Love, and connection with Source. When such a stage is reached, we’d refer to these as Enlightened Societies (enlightened in a spiritual sense, in the sense of attunement of awareness).
So, in this sense, it is possible, and desirable, to reach high levels of harmony, spiritual connection, and Love, in a physical reality, equivalent, matching, those held on realms of a different nature, both collectively, and in terms of individual experiences.

But Earth, at this moment, is very far from that state. Earth is only just now beginning to get to grips with its own separation, and it’s just firing up the process so to speak i.e. the journey is, in a way, only just beginning. To refer to the changes in mindset and perspectives to this journey as it develops on Earth, we’ll be using the terms “new energy”. This simply means the gradual, progressive transition of those on Earth from 3D consciousness (the current one) to 4D (the next one).

The level of awareness of human beings on Earth – “life on Earth“, if you will – places a broad, overall limitation on the type/level of Love, and including the experience of Love in romantic relationships, that can be had and shared. This is not Clara’s individual ‘fault’ or responsibility; this is simply a reflection of how the broad level of awareness of a planetary society places limitations on the types of experiences that can be had there. The various points previously described represent various limitations placed upon the Love that can be experienced and shared in relationships. True Love (capital L) is difficult to distinguish from the impulses and urges of the biology. Karmic attributes can have strong influence over the emotions one feels for another.

And even if these didn’t apply, the nature of the physical setting by itself would induce a level of separation between the spiritual self and Source, that tends to impede the pure, unfiltered perception of Love from It, and Love for another, also. This is the metaphysical veil. This veil exists, to some extent, in all physical realities, being stronger the lower the vibratory state of that reality. Earth is in 3D, the lowest possible vibration for Free Will settings, and therefore where the veil is strongest.

Furthermore, human beings on their own also have certain traits to them, that play along with the 3D nature of the setting they live in, and which add further difficulty.

In 3D human bodies cannot sustain peak experience for very long – in fact they cannot sustain peak anything for very long. Let us give an example. Individuals may be able to place themselves in a period of heightened focus and effort, during which they can work at peak efficiency at their profession when they need to – and they will be able to. This is the final week of a project, or a all nighter before a deadline. However, they cannot work in this state of peak efficiency all of the time – it would be (and is) unrealistic to consider otherwise. The human being will need resting, unwinding, and periods of comparatively slower-paced, less-than-peak working, between these specific, peak periods.

The same happens with Love.

It is in the nature of the human being to not be able to sustain the peak experience of being in Love for an extended period of time, indefinitely. Regardless of the nature/type of Love between the couple, there will typically be an initial, blissful period of ‘being in Love’, after which this will fade and be replaced for a more stable, soft emotional state. At most, what can sometimes be experienced, is for the two individuals to fall in Love more than one time, on multiple occasions, should they remain together and the appropriate circumstances are met for that to happen. But being in Love is not in itself a sustainable, enduring state. It will fade out inevitably. For a number of reasons, the human body won’t be able to sustain this peak state for an indefinite period of time.

To summarize, Love is a complicated, difficult matter. It is something difficult to experience, especially in its pure, blissful state. There is no way around this, and there’s no sugarcoating it either. It is what it is.

Additionally, human beings have an intrinsic trait of adaptability, which renders them able to adapt and adjust to just about anything: to any experience, to any circumstance. This works both for the pleasurable, and for the unpleasant, i.e. for “good” and “bad”. Unfortunately, this also means humans can take any and all forms of Love, even, say, the most true, blissful and/or intense one, and render even that love normalized, becoming more or less desensitized to it, neutral to its presence, i.e. “take if for granted”. To some extent, this is a ‘natural’ (in the sense of being expected) process, working in tandem with the previous point. In other words, you can get so accustomed to something – even if it’s very good – that you naturally end up accepting it as normal. It also works for the bad. This is how some can get accustomed to, tolerant, and even supportive of, the greatest suffering, disrespect, and/or toxicity, in relationships for example. This is one of the reasons why sometimes contrast is necessary for the self to re-acquaint itself with what’s truly important, what is truly a priority in life – and what isn’t. Contrast is one of the tools that breaks this effect of normalization.

This effect can be cause for some to display a certain tendency for a level of ‘boredom’ in relationships, regardless of the nature and true-ness of the Love with the other person – i.e. even if Love exists in a relationship. It is not certain to happen, but may, is not uncommon, depending on the type of challenges of the spiritual self in the physical reality. In other words, it is possible to have the greatest possible level of relationship you can conceive, while also being possible for you to get used to it and take it as granted, depending on your spiritual context. Please mind this is not an excuse for infidelity, deceit, or otherwise lack of integrity in a relationship. Remaining affiliated and in integrity within a relationship is still within the responsibility, and accountability, of each partner.

Managing the consequences of the inner, kernel-based potential of human ‘boredom’ is reliant not just on the personal intentions and free will of the human being, but also, and additionally, on their own spiritual guidance teams, whom are tasked with providing personal life experiences that provide a satisfactory effect of preventing the ‘normalization’, whenever deemed required, including of the ‘good things’ in their lives, so they can may continue to choose them, over what’s perhaps less of a priority, and/or not a long-term goal. The consequence of doing otherwise would be, of course, the possibility of choices of lesser alignment to be made, in detriment of those of higher. This is valid not just for the arena of romantic relationships but for all areas of life in general.

In a new, improved energy for planet Earth, the human being is (increasingly) meant to actively work closely with his/her own guidance team, with one of the points of that participation being precisely to facilitate the process of managing this effect. In this context, the human being in the new energy knows experiences that may initially appear as unpleasant or undesirable, may come about with the purpose/utility of letting him/her re-define priorities, re-working them, and/or reminding oneself of what’s truly important to him/her. Understanding and opening up to this will actively help mitigate the negative/unpleasant impact of any of such experiences, if not negate the need for them entirely.

1.6 Choice

What IS possible in the physical reality, is to have a stable relationship, while true Love (capital L) being present in the connection between the two individuals. This is the ideal, yet realistic, and achievable, expectation.

True Love (capital L) is a spiritual attribute. If present, it is part of the connection between two human beings on the spiritual level. For all effects and purposes, the attribute of Love between two individuals, and the nature of that Love, cannot be affected by anything that happens in the physical life, or what each individual chooses in their life. In other words, if present, the connection of Love itself cannot be affected or changed. During the physical life, as the two individuals meet, this Love can of course be discovered, explored, and built upon; but it cannot be affected. It also cannot be created if it isn’t there. In other words, Love (capital L) is either there or it isn’t. This is the Love we refer to when we say ‘true Love’, and that’s meant to be present, ideally but still realistically, in a relationship.

Even if Love is present, the two human beings are still tasked with dealing with their own, and with each other’s, human-level attributes: beliefs, emotions, biological selves, personal choices, as well as any and all circumstances of their personal lives. There is still, after all, a real life to be lived. But the added attribute of Love, existing beyond the human level, is meant to provide support and meaning to the relationship. This is a ‘model’ of romantic relationships in the new energy.

In order for a relationship of true Love to be viable (to exist), the following circumstances need to be met: the two individuals must have reached a sufficient degree of maturity/personal development, such that a) they are able to acknowledge true Love in the other if present, and b) the two are simultaneously committed to treasure that Love they’ve just found, to protect it, nurture it, and share it – in order to not just start a relationship, but willingly maintain it in a sustained/stable manner.

Without these conditions being met strictly, any potential relationship will be just as brittle, frail, or volatile as any other, even if the connection of Love on the spiritual level is actually present. In other words, if one of the two isn’t committed to treasure the true Love, then a relationship that honors that Love is simply not possible. Once again, it comes down not to Spirit, not to God, not to the Angels, but to the Free Will of the human being living his/her real life on the physical plane. The Earth remains, after all, being an experiment in Free Will, and this is valid for romantic relationships as well.

For this type of relationship to have a change of being drawn to the self (i.e. co-created), and experienced, this is where the aforementioned analysis and change of beliefs, as well as personal choices, comes into play. In other words, and again, it’s about Choice. We could explain how such process of co-creation works as a series of steps, applicable in this context of this reading. The following steps are numbered for ease of understanding, however they don’t necessarily need to be applied in any one specific order. Rather, what’s important is getting the gist of their meaning.

The metaphysical principle is the same: external reality will always tend to match what is held within. Which means that by shifting core beliefs into matching a new experience, will contribute to become closer i.e. ‘draw nearer’, said experience. Similarly, sustaining and feeding old beliefs, and making choices based in them, will contribute to sustain, keep closer, the old reality which is a match to those beliefs. Hence the important of this inner work.

#1. Un-Choosing Loveless
The practical principle is as follows: you either have a situation of Love, or of lack of Love. Love and lack of Love can’t co-exist at the same time – much like you can’t have Light and Dark in a room at the same time. Further, the spiritual nature of a situation won’t change, i.e. where there isn’t Love (capital L), Love will never be; when there is Love, Love will never not be.

While you could, in theory, consider there are gradations/variations of Love (in other words, things are not black-and-white, have-and-have-not) in practice you’ll have time to think about those gradations from within a situation of Love, if/when one is present. Until then, there is no point in considering ‘degrees of Love’ – this will most typically be an excuse and cover for a situation without Love. The presence of a reality where there is absence of Love i.e. Loveless (relationship, marriage, etc.) will be occupying the relationship “space”. Think of it as junk: if present at all, it’s is not serving any meaningful purpose spiritually, and it is simply occupying the space for new potentials, possibly even actively preventing them from manifesting altogether. In this sense, there will be the need to clear the junk, that is to say, to remove what is Loveless from one’s life.

These types of choices may actively go against the self’s karmic fear of relationship dissolution, as well as possibly the old beliefs of affiliation in value to the social structures of relationships/marriage. This is, therefore and undeniably, a move of bravery, of courage. Still, if the information in this reading rings any true, it is possible any situations of ‘junk’ in need of clearing become more clear, more visible.

How to how to discern Love from Love-less? It’s not complicated: a relationship either has a Love, or it doesn’t. No questioning: it’s a yes or no answer. It’s an answer you already know instinctively, within. You’ll know, within the space of two weeks, a month maximum, of meeting them, whether you share a connection of Love with someone or not.

#2. Willingness to Relinquish Models of Oppressive Relationships
This one might be challenging. Past relationships were created by subscribing to a framework of cultural beliefs that prevented each member of the couple from leaving the relationship. In other words, the responsibility of the choice was placed on the external “framework” (of beliefs/values) subtly placing pressure on the partner to prevent them from leaving.

However, this is a form of oppression, which inevitably creates both imbalance and karma – the context of which was previously addressed. In a new energy of relationships, each person’s Free Will must be honored absolutely – is it Love without Freedom? So responsibility must be given back to the other person’s Free Will, who’s free at all times to choose – not on an external belief system designed to suppress that choice. Clara must therefore choose, be willing, in her perspective, to take away responsibility from external beliefs and structures, and ‘put back’ that responsibility where it truly belongs: the other person.

In part, there’s perhaps a certain sense of subtle relief in this proposition: the self is spiritually giving up on something: placing added pressure on the other to prevent them from leaving. This is a burden to be shed. However, there will always be the remaining karmic fear: that the other person will eventually lead if left merely to their own devices and feelings. But remember: new relationships must only be chosen if the other is equally willing to honor the relationship – that is the foundational tenet. This commitment is meant to guarantee the partner isn’t going to leave on a whim. But it must be based in mutual trust, not external pressure.

Even if this willingness or decision initially doesn’t suddenly erase the core karmic fear – it’s not expected to, it’s not meant to – it is the willingness, the intention, to not oppress, that can draw unto the self new potentials for new situations, with further potential for learning and practice. It is, therefore, a principle, an intention, an initial step: something that’s meant to be decided, and held, on your own, before new relationships with a different energy can ever manifest. In other words, it is an inner decision. Even relationships in new molds develop, there will likely be more learning in this regard. We said relationships are not ‘perfect’, rather they’ll have grounds of true Love, in that, among other things, spiritual lessons may carry on developing from within them.

#3. Choosing Only Relationships in Matching Terms
Provided your intention is to experience genuine Love in a relationship as described, you choose to engage with a new, stable relationship, only if both you and the potential partner share a connection of spiritual Love, and you and the partner are on the same page regarding committing to the relationship. If the partner is not acknowledging the true, special Love they’ve just found, recognizing It as something truly unique, special, and that they actively want to treasure, but you still choose to be in a relationship with such partner, you’re again exposing yourself to an insecure, shaky situation – that will only fuel your karmic fears and lack of trust.

This point is about choosing strictly only what serves you, going beyond the immediate feeling/emotion, and making use of the strong, pragmatic wisdom of your spiritual self. This may not always be easy – relationships by nature can get complicated – but still necessary. This is how both Love/feeling and pragmatism/focus need to be present in relationships. Both aspects are to be combined/married together. Both perspectives, feelings and practicality, are true and valid: they’re meant to assist each other, instead of having either one or the other but never both.

#4. Defining Personal Path and Purpose Individually
The same way inner choice comes first, and what’s externally experienced only afterwards, you will never be able to find true purpose in life because of a relationship.

Relationships, even those with true Love, will never be able to justify your existence. They’ll never give you a path, a direction, a route. No one can take steps for you, if you’re not willing to do it. In the new energy, relationships aren’t meant to provide personal definition, direction, purpose. Relationships are meant to provide a background of Love, but they won’t offer you your own inner meaning, your own tune, your own song, i.e. your own self-direction. Only you can discover it and align with it. It’s cliché, yes, but it’s vital.

Relationships are meant primarily to establish a framework of Love, from which each person can work from. So the final step is a shift in perspective: to not expect relationships to give a sense of purpose. To not wait for a relationship to take action. Instead, be willing to work on finding your own, personal sense of purpose. In other words, to think with your mind, and stand for yourself, independently of relationships, and if you have one or not.

Part II: Akashic Background

2.1 The Gloomy Deva

The following depicts a manifestation of Clara, in a distant past, in a different form – but still on Earth, at some point in time.

The image isn’t explained in clear and rational detail. I’m simply shown the point of view of the one experiencing the situation, from their perspective, ‘through their eyes’ if you will. Anything else about the situation, i.e. what is what, what’s the meaning of this etc., are all things I have to ask explicitly, and receive input for, as the image unfolds.

I (and by “I” I mean the one living the memory) am at ground level, standing on the floor. Around me there’s dense, thick vegetation. Somehow, these plants, to my (the reader’s) eyes, look like they’d be, next to a human being, as tall as grass maybe, at knee level at most, generally speaking low ground-level vegetation; but to the eyes of the entity living this memory they feel enormous, gigantic, as if I’m in a tall, thick forest made of these plants. The ground is composed of brown, somewhat loose, soft soil -brown-colored dirt that seems to agglomerates in small clusters – while the plants and vegetation growing from it are green, lush, vivid. High above, through the vegetation, where not blocked by it, a blue clear sky, lit by the Sun, can be seen.

As I look into the empty space above – a ‘clearing’, if you will – from which the sky and sunlight can be seen, I can occasionally see small flying figures fluttering by, appearing from one side of the clearing above, crossing it, and disappearing in another point. They don’t stop, they fly by quickly and in a continuous motion. I can’t get a clear focus on what they are at first. But they aren’t insects/bugs, they’re something else entirely. They are devic beings. They’re going about their daily routines, busily. The generic term for them would be fairies. The one on the ground, the eyes through which this memory is being seen and lived, is also a Deva, just like those occasionally flying above. So what we’re seeing, is Nature from the eyes of a Deva, who is a projection of the spiritual energy we today call Clara, at one point in time.

But there’s something odd about the image. The general notion about Devas is that they’re innocent, curious, and energetic beings. But the Deva watching this scene is standing on the ground (not flying), and having trouble dealing with the sunlight. The impression is as if she’s just awoken from a slumber, and came from within the thick vegetation where she’d slept, stepping into the clearing. She places her hand in front of her eyes to shield them from the sunlight, closing one and squinting the other – like when a human does when they’ve woken up and their eyes aren’t used to sunlight yet.

However, this isn’t just a moment of sleepiness that will pass in short order. I feel this is not something temporary, transient. This Deva has difficulty in dealing with light, she has trouble being exposed to the light of the sun. Whether this would pass over time or not, I cannot say. But it’s an emotional situation first and foremost. Accompanying this uneasiness in standing in the light, there’s an emotional sense of a vague but intense sadness, pessimism. I feel the Deva prefers, and likely spends her time, in the shade/shadow, on the ground, hidden within and beneath the thick vegetation. She feels more comfortable there. Once she’s done observing the clearing for a moment, she considers ‘going back in’.

Right away the image strikes me as the precise opposite of what Devas, typically, tend to be (and how other Devas otherwise appear in the image itself). Devic beings, typically, can be described as some combination of happy, energetic, lively, and curious. They tend to go about their own routines, their ‘daily lives’ so to speak, merrily, without giving a second thought about any of it. On the other hand, this Deva is, by contrast, strikingly lethargic, holding a profoundly sad, negative emotional state. There is also a sense of aimlessness. There’s lack of notion of activity, things to do, roles to fulfill. She holds no joy, no desire to venture forth, no curiosity about her surroundings. An illustrative representation of this, is that she could presumably fly, yet she doesn’t. She’s simply staying on the ground level, walking and hiding.

The feeling held by this Deva can be compared, with a high level of accuracy, to that of the human being with what’s commonly described as a ‘depressive’ state: a deep, intense lack of joy, and an absence of energy/motivation to move forth and engage, instead preferring to lay as low, comfortable, and inert, if possible. She’s not aiming to live, she’s attempting to cope.

Additionally, there’s also a sense of absence of notion about what she’s doing there, or who she is. Within the general state of sadness – a gloomy outlook that hinders motion – there’s also in the midst of it a vague sense of absence of identity: what her own role aught to be. A vague preoccupation that she should be doing something, yet she doesn’t have any tangible notion of what that’s supposed to be.

For this reader, observing this aspect is a telling sign. The fact this inner questioning is within the Deva’s awareness, means the Deva is a Souled being, i.e. has a Soul. A word about what this means.

All of the beings we’ve been mentioning, including the Devas, have spiritual energies to them. So, they have souls of a sort. However, when using the term Soul we specifically refer to the ‘special’ projection of Creation/Source who inherits Its sacred properties of Free Will, and is able to manifest/project the external reality around It. Souls are usually involved in tests of Free Will throughout Creation, such as human beings on Earth, and are tasked with the exploration of said Free Will. Entities in other types of hierarchies, generally speaking, may or may not have Souls, like human beings on Earth do. These may realize a Soul as part of their evolution i.e. an entity at some point may “develop” a Soul, that is to say, may realize they are a Soul. This means not all entities have/are Souls – in this sense, with this meaning.

With the Deva of this memory, by the fact there’s a level of questioning within her awareness – a vague sense that equates to “I don’t like this”, “what am I doing”, “I should/would but I can’t”, or even the absence of direction/intention – imply the Deva is a Soul. We, of course, already know Clara is a Soul. The relevancy of this is that this memory is not the moment when the inner Soul was awakened/realized. Instead, this moment represents the Deva is a projection of the Soul from higher realms. But, something happened in this projection that led to this extremely difficult emotional state.

The image ends here. It seems only to convey an initial stage of Clara’s spiritual presence on Earth, as this Deva, but with a strong contrast between her nature/emotional state and with the other Devas. In this memory, there’s an emotional outlook that is extremely depressive. The Devic being is lost, aimless, deeply affected by a void of drive and happiness (which to a Deva would be a natural thing). There is also a questioning from an absence of identity, aim, and purpose.

What comes across is that the Soul projected into this reality (on Earth) as a Deva, but something must have happened: she didn’t bring her own heart with her, in a manner of speaking. The Soul was lost, awareness undefined, in a spiritual/emotional space of emptiness/absence of something.

2.2 The Two Angels

Upon further inquiry, the reading proceeds to show a second memory, on a different level. It describes a situation taking place before, and higher, than the memory of the Deva. It provides a context for that memory, what happened leading up to it.

Please keep in mind the following explanation, and to a large extent the materials of this reading as a whole, are largely a simplification of things that are metaphysical and abstract in nature, residing outside space and time, and detached from the thoughts and concepts we use on the human level. Angels are not human beings, they don’t have human emotions and feelings, nor do they make decisions from a human-level mindset. A number of simplifications have to be made in this reading, through the usage of more relatable human-level concepts, ideas, to provide a minimally coherent explanation, within useful time frame, that holds the potential for practical, effective understanding for the reader. The simplifications used are considered to hold a sufficient degree of accuracy that serves the purposes of the explanation.

I’m shown two angels, in an otherworldly scenario, standing next to each other. They are not in a specific location, more in a realm or ‘zone’ apart. They stand outside planet Earth, which appears in the background, at some distance, as if observed from space, relatively small. The they are in a “place” that feels outside space/time itself, you could call it ‘spiritual’. This place feels both like space, yet like a room at the same time, with a solid floor or platform upon which they’re standing. They are observing Earth from afar, discussing it.

Earth is seen by them not just as a physical planet, but as an environment inhabited by Souled beings in lesson. The term ‘angels’ here carries two meanings: a) to represent their affiliation and experience in the Angelic realms, and b) also in a general interpretation, ‘angels’ as in entities in Creation. These two angels often participate in incarnation affairs, either directly (incarnating in physical matter themselves) and/or indirectly (in service to those who are incarnating). Which is to say, they are involved in the overall process of evolution of Creation, a process which incarnation in the physical, broadly speaking, is meant to serve.

The two angels are Souled beings themselves. Each of them are Souls with Free Will, also. They are spiritually whole and complete entities, in the strict sense that at this specific moment/stage they are not subscribed to any one specific place of lesson, or any one modality of spiritual service. They are at this junction evaluating where to go, what to do next. Their broad purpose and intentions are about assisting Creation’s progress. Spiritually, they feel fairly evolved, mature. If they were to participate in the Angelic hierarchies, they would be of some status.

I’m also sufficiently comfortable using the term ‘Twin Flames’ to describe who they are to each other. It’s not so much that they are ‘connected’, but more that they are, two partners, two figures “of each other”. It’s challenging to put it into human-level terms, still, they could be likened to being a combination of two twins, two siblings, and two members of a couple, in their connection. They are two sides of a coin, two aspects of the same ‘unit’. This is not a matter of biased perspective or transient opinion, it’s just who they are. This is the case for Twin Flames in general. It would not be incorrect to refer to them as two parts of the same Soul.

The Angels are presented in a ‘color code’ that is fairly familiar. One of them has a more assertive, direct and dominant energy, and is presented in blue; while the other has a more pondered and observant energy, and is presented in a soft hue of red. Bear in mind spiritual entities have no gender like human beings do, still, their energies may at any given moment be characterized by being more masculine-energy or feminine-energy in predominance. This serves to illustrate the dynamics between the two, and to better convey the explanation to the mind reading these words. Again, there is an aspect of this imagery that needs to be understood as an abstraction.

On one hand, at any point of this explanation, you could interpret these two angels in an abstract, non-personal manner: they represent the dynamics between the masculine and feminine energies within the same, one Soul.

On the other, it is also perfectly valid, and relevant, to interpret them as two separate, if you will, personalities, each embodying the more masculine-energy or the more feminine-energy aspects of the Soul, but, operating independently, as separate individuals, so to speak.

When we deal with Twin Flames, we must always keep these two interpretations in the back of the mind: the two beings are the one and same Soul, and also, simultaneously, two separate/different Souls. The two considerations are equally valid. Each of the Souls may then incarnate as individual human beings, independently, in the physical. These various ‘metaphysical’ nuances in the equation can be tricky to explain, but will become relevant later. Proceeding with this line of thought, we may liken the Soul the soft red Angel to Clara. In other words, it would be accurate to state she is the red Angel. Thus, these two Angels refer to Clara’s spiritual background in the Akashic Records.

For the purposes of the explanation, we’ll be referring to them as Blue and Red. This is not intended as their actual names in a literal sense, rather a terminology used in this reading to serve the explanation. They’ll also be addressed with the pronouns he and she, respectively.

2.3 Debate and Deliberation

With planet Earth in the background, the two Angels are shown debating whether to participate in the test about to be performed there, and if so, to which capacity.

Souls aren’t obliged to participate in tests and lessons. There isn’t any obligation, on any level, to do so. If there is an appropriate spiritual advancement that permits this choice to be made freely and from a state of wisdom (we could describe it as an ‘illuminated’ or ‘free’ state of consciousness, if you will) then Souls are free to decide if, and to which capacity, they participate in a setting of lesson. This, in fact, what these Souls do, what they specialize in doing, and have done so often in the past.

Blue is determined and committed to participate in the test of Earth. This is something he truly wants to do. The test is of great spiritual importance, a crucial junction in the progression of Souls in all Creation. So he assembles a comprehensive argumentation, presented to Red as carefully and clearly as possible, as to why Earth is of vital importance, and why they should participate.

Red is observant of Blue’s argumentation, largely noninterventive. She is respectful and attentive, but hesitant and unwilling. The truth is, within her, Red has no need, desire, or necessity, to go to Earth, at all. This isn’t a right or wrong thing, it’s just how it is. To put it simply, she spiritually doesn’t want to. She would decline, if she were to voice her inner, individual opinion outward. She doesn’t, however.

This decision is being addressed in a co-joint manner (as opposed to individually, each of them making their own separate decision) because they are One with each other, and because they’ve participated many times in other trials before, in many other places, in other cycles of reincarnation, and always together, loosely speaking, i.e. never too far apart from each other. I’m shown them as living beings in physical bodies, being human (or equivalent) individuals, in physical planets, living through journeys and stories in them, as part of those cycles.

In those journeys, they were never apart from each other for very long. Even if momentarily they weren’t in each other’s immediate vicinity, and/or if they went into some sort of separation (be it in a single lifetime or over multiple lives) they’d always, eventually, find each other again, go back into each other’s arms. From practical experience, they became used to trust that they’d always be close, they’d always be together, and they’d always come back to each other if they found themselves apart somehow. The Universe would seem to arrange it, in some way. Metaphysically speaking, you could say that in a state of spiritual relaxation, fluidity, allowance, and balance, their ‘natural state’ is being with one another, together.

In the stories they lived, while they sometimes had disagreements and differences – especially when the energy of a planet was very low, such as in 3D – they would more or less inevitably end up working together, being partners, supporting each other, covering each other’s backs: either romantically, professionally, spiritually, or any combination of multiple of those things, to some degree. They would, more often than not, find each other supporting each other’s mission, agreeing with each other’s perspectives, and standing for one another in case of challenge or opposition to them from others, sometimes rescuing each other from situations of deep despair and difficulty.

Also, the higher the vibration on a planet grew, the more they could feel just how aligned, how matching they truly were, on subtle levels. This was a reflection of who they were to each other on a spiritual level. It was the truth of their connection, filtering down to their physical existence. The higher the planet allowed the energy to be (vibration inevitably starts to rise, eventually) the more levels and intensity of their Love they could be feel/realize, and experience in the physical. And the less they would feel apart, and feel themselves as separate, alone, isolated individuals. This Love was them; it was their Soul connection, manifesting during the lifetimes. In fact, Blue and Red had never ventured into a setting of test without one another – at least as far as I’m shown by the reading. They’d always been together, either virtually or literally. This is why they are now making this deliberation together, in a joint manner.

2.4 Choice

Blue was adamant in participating on the Earth experiment. There was no talking him out of it – so Red didn’t even try. She (for the most part, silently, as a non-response) conceded to his commitment.

He would go down’ to Earth, in other words, project as Consciousness onto the physical plane, begin incarnating on the surface, and spiritually serve from there. He would come to be a somewhat prominent figure in ancient Atlantis in particular, later in ancient Egypt, having a few notable lifetimes/manifestations. The reading reveals no further in this regard.

As for Red, the joint deliberation for her was designed to establish a compromise between his perspective and hers. It was clear, apparent (there was no strict barrier between the energies of the two, so both could be aware of each other’s predisposition regarding the matter at hand) that Red wasn’t as determined as Blue in going to serve to Earth. And, please mind, this reading does not, and will not, place any sort of judgment on this, in any way. It is being described simply as it was, without judgment.

Even so, Red didn’t want to be left out of the equation either. There was some willingness to venture to Earth, on some capacity. This was in part because, although she didn’t aspire herself to go to Earth in terms of inner drive, she did concur with Blue in that Earth was indeed an important test which required spiritual service. In part, it was also because she wanted to remain close to Blue, as they’d always been in the past. She didn’t want to stay completely out of the same scenario Blue was in. The analogy would that of a spouse in a married couple who wishes to work close to her partner’s job, with the intention of not being left out completely of his/her world, of his matters of interest and concern. She wanted to be able to relate, at least minimally, with what was going on ‘down there’, on Earth.

Spiritual entities have ways of discerning what’s taking place in the physical settings of a planet, if they aren’t present there, from distance if you will. But at the same time, there are limitations to this. You could say that if they aren’t there, they can’t see what’s going on. You don’t really know what is happening in a physical setting, in its low vibration, unless you have some sort of direct experience of it, if you are actively participating in it to some degree (such as for example incarnating there). If Red was to not participate on the trials of Earth at all, she’d be apart from the context that she couldn’t relate to whatever Blue went through, to any meaningful extent. In other words, she wouldn’t be able to offer support and help him, like they’ve done so many times in the past. And she didn’t want that separation to happen.

The Consciousness of a Soul projecting down onto the physical plane (incarnation) never does so in a total manner, i.e. it’s not the full Consciousness that projects, but only a portion of it, of a lesser ‘quantity’ than the whole. That is to say, that there is always a part of the Soul that ‘stays behind’, remaining in its original vibratory state and awareness, for each individual incarnation, as well as a whole, I.e. during the entirety of an incarnation cycle. To the portion of their ‘higher’ consciousness that doesn’t incarnate into the physical and is not directly affected by experiences in it, human beings often use the terminology ‘higher self’. You could say both ‘the original’ Blue and Red continue existing, all the while their incarnations are taking place. An incarnation in the physical equates to Red experiencing a lifetime being known as Clara in this lifetime, for a time.

But even if a spiritual entity still exists in a simultaneous manner with their own projection in the physical, that doesn’t mean they aren’t completely unaffected by it. There is a degree of, we could say, involvement/investment of the energy of the Soul, that goes into every project of incarnation, and which can take away swaths of the the attention and focus of the Soul while participation in the cycle is taking place.

For these reasons, during his investment on the physical world, Blue the Angel would predictably become greatly invested in the experience. To put it in simple terms, to some extent Blue would be gone – like one partner going to work in the morning, with the other staying home. What happened, was that Red didn’t want to experience this (degree of) separation from Blue while the Earth experiment lasted. In other words, she didn’t want to go through the feeling, on the spiritual plane, of being separated from Blue.

So in order to A) become sufficiently involved with Earth on the physical Earth (i.e. to “have eyes on the ground”), B) be able to potentially be available to offer/help and support to Blue eventually, even if only energetically (also taking advantage of the fact they’d inevitably gravitate towards one another for metaphysical reasons), while at the same time honoring the comparatively decreased level of available investment in the experiment, it was decided Red was to project onto Earth into the Devic Realms instead.

The Devic Realms would in theory require a lesser amount/portion of her conscious energy to be projected, as well as invested effort – Devas on the ground don’t need to ‘think things too hard’, they aren’t about Free Will and complicate choices, but simple, fun, playful service. Also, the presence of Earth would still keep the doors open for transition into sentient physical beings (humans) in the future, if at all necessary, to be decided down the line, as the experiment went.

So the memory we saw earlier corresponded to the stage where Red had projected herself onto the Earth’s surface as a devic being. But we could say things went sideways from the start.

2.5 Trauma

The energy Red projected wasn’t nearly enough to hold and sustain a sufficient level of awareness that allowed Red to be a stable, functioning entity. What happened was that a strong sense of lack of Love created a depressive state that immobilized the Souled Deva, locking its awareness in place and rendering stale, inert, depressive and without joy. Further, she was fundamentally a Souled being, and an evolved one at that, so the intrinsic ‘existential’ questioning would always be present within. The Deva could not recall to any extent, explicit or subtle, who they were, why they were there, what they ought to be doing, or anything about Blue, for that matter – yet this was somehow important, because it’s important for the Soul. In practice, all there was for the Deva was lack: of Love, of purpose, of direction. A sense of void. A lack of, well, everything.

Why was there this lack of purpose/love? Simple. One aspect to this, was that Red didn’t really want to be there.

When a spiritual entity, any spiritual entity, makes decisions in misalignment with their heart, the resulting consequences that are going to be experienced, will reflect the absence of heart energy. The Deva had no ‘drive’ to her because her heart wasn’t there with her. In turn, this was because there was no true inner desire of the Soul to be where she was. But, she was there now nonetheless.

The Deva was, by design, a being of a reduced size. But, and additionally, the fact the portion of awareness projected was also spiritually small if compared to the dimensions/scale of the original Soul, created a type of a contrasting effect, which made the Deva feel extra small. That’s what made the world around it feel gigantic, towering, overwhelming, and oppressive, and her feeling diminutive as a result. This stacked with the effect of lack of purpose, of depression.

An additional point was that Red seemed to have projected onto a point in time far earlier than when Blue was meant to venture into Earth to incarnate himself. [I don’t entirely know why, and I’m not shown in depth. My conjecture is that it has to do with the difference in nature between the Devic and the human/incarnation realms. Perhaps it had to do with the ‘subscription’ of the Devas on Earth happening at a different time, much earlier than the Souls incarnating as human Souls (Devas do have to tend to Nature which existed before, and independently, from human beings). Perhaps this was also influenced by the partial commitment of Red in the metaphysical process of the projection.]

In any case, the Deva (Red) was projecting onto Earth at a point in time when Blue’s Soul still wasn’t present there. While the human being and a Deva wouldn’t normally and explicitly interact with each other, their spiritual selves – and in the case of Twin Flames specifically – can often incorporate portions of each other’s energies within their auric (subtle, energetic) fields during their manifestations into the physical, so they can both feel, and/or carry, each other’s presence/Love, and guide each other if needed. But the fact Blue still wasn’t present on Earth, including spiritually, meant Red, as the Deva, felt the complete absence of Blue.

And this, she felt deeply. This was the first time Blue and Red were apart.

Not only Red was not used to feeling this at all (Blue’s absence) but this was, specifically, precisely, what she actively didn’t want to experience by coming to Earth. So the experience, on an emotional/subtle level, was of absence of Love – which was what was feared. It was like a nightmare. To compound with it, she was a Deva, a being whose nature is purely emotional, meant to feel things deeply.

Red, as a Soul, now had a projection onto the physical plane of Earth, which was undergoing a form of, so to speak, “critical failure” of her spiritual/emotional integrity, i.e. a situation of loss of stability that created an effect of shock and trauma in the being, one virtually impossible to recover from, at least quickly, easily, right away.
Red could not simply ‘recall’ its own aspect from the physical world as things went sideways – it doesn’t work that way.

Red had willingly submitted a projection of her own self onto the new domain, and the rules are that all consequences of projections are acknowledged and accepted, if the tests of that domain were to be valid. Red had to resign to the fact she now had an aspect of herself that would have to carry on in the Earth plane. She would have to be gradually recovered in consciousness, trough her own experiences. She could be steered, guided, but not ‘saved’ altogether, not without her own active choice and participation.

Eventually the spiritual entity was sufficiently able to function within the Devas that she could transition to incarnate as a human being. The transition itself into becoming human wasn’t especially challenging: as a Soul she had vast experience in Free Will of material worlds. So she adapted. The added difficulty this time, though, was specifically working through the trauma of dealing with the Free Will of others – due to the initiative of Blue which had seemingly created a division between them – and with the initial trauma of separation and lack of Love/purpose that had shocked the Deva to the core.

The eventual goal was to, through her spiritual progression, eventually remember who she was, and why she was there. This was the only way possible.

Part III: Clarification of Akashic Background

3.1 Choice of Misalignment

The trauma in the projection to the Earth plane, together with the difficulty in handling Blue’s stance which was different from Red’s, is the cause of the karmic patterns addressed in the reading.

The core point of karmic trauma, is the appearance of a choice in the partner that is dissonant with my own choice (from their independent Free Will) which ends up causing separation. In the original situation, all that happened was seemingly derived from Blue’s decision of wanting to go to Earth – “had he not had chosen to go…”. In the present moment, the karmic pattern tries to find ways to suppress/control the Free Will of the partner, so they’re not simply free to leave the relationship. This is unconsciously performed to avoid a repetition of the original moment of trauma.

There is a difficulty, therefore, in dealing with the Free Will of another, especially if it’s different from mine. There’s also difficulty in knowing what to do if that does happen – a difficulty in finding my own way, individually.
Before proceeding we’ll have to once more offer a disclaimer – we do apologize for doing it so often. What we’re describing isn’t the whole of the story. We’re using human terms and ideas to portray the state of spiritual beings on a high level of abstract consciousness. But the spiritual beings, the levels of consciousness we’re referring to, are not human beings. Because of this, this explanation will always be an approximation, a simplification, necessary for said explanation to even be possible.

Further, on some level the Soul IS aware of the broad picture about the situation – and is not “lost”, or “struggling”. The Soul is Infinite Consciousness, and has many ‘layers’ of awareness. When we describe how an aspect felt, or what an aspect did (including the two angels) we are referring to parts of the Soul that have engaged with spiritual lesson in the Universe, and are involved in it, deeply, even if just in a spiritual state. In other words, how things are described here isn’t necessarily all there is to the whole of the Soul. Once again, the explanation will always be a simplification to some extent.

On the other hand, simplification doesn’t imply inaccuracy. If we say the Soul fears something, the Soul fears something – on some level. If we say the Soul finds something a challenge, then it finds something a challenge. As above, so below, and vice-versa. Things are what they are, be it in the most abstract planes of existence, or walking in the cobbled streets of Earth.

Going back to the original karmic event, there are two primary sides we can analyze it from. The first (#1) is to observe this is unequivocally, a situation of choosing in misalignment. This is straightforward: Red didn’t want to go to Earth. Because she didn’t, when the projected as a Deva, the Deva’s heart “wasn’t in it”.

When one uses their Free Will to make a choice that isn’t aligned with the heart, the choice will bear misalignment – in other words, it won’t represent what the heart wanted. Free Will means you are still free to make that choice, though. The result will be that you’ll then have to contend with the outcomes and consequences of that choice, the nature of which was misalignment. In other words, consequences of misalignment will be experienced.

In turn, the choice itself was made in an already sensitive context. Red chose how she did because she was weary of becoming separated from Blue. She didn’t want to risk confront him further, and deepen that possibility of separation. It also wasn’t entirely clear to her where was the ‘right thing to do’, between how her heart felt (not going, not serving) and what was correct “on paper” (spiritually serving on Earth). Because of these factors, she didn’t speak up, and went along with the situation, so to speak.

One additional factor contributing to the Deva’s lack of agency and energy, was that she spiritually represented Red’s own absence of agency. When Red was confronted with Blue’s dissonance – and seeming lack of empathy – towards her own inner state and perspective, Red was somewhat at a loss about what to do. The Deva herself was as if a representation of this same lack of agency (but also of the inherent potential for lesson).

The choice of projecting to Earth was still of agreement with how both Blue and Red felt. For Red it was, technically speaking, a compromise between the absence of commitment she felt and the desire to remain close to Blue. Still, it wasn’t a determined, concise choice. It wasn’t a choice made from the heart. It was a soft choice, made out of a stance with a high level of doubt. In a manner of speaking it was half-baked, half-hearted, if you will, directly reflecting Red’s partial commitment.

Red/Clara may have felt they were serving Source/Creation poorly, in not wanting to go to Earth, i.e. in lacking the desire to serve others. Comprehending the causes on her more subtle spiritual levels didn’t help, as it seemed all the trauma and complications in her story were caused by this lack of commitment. Thus an added level of guilt doubled down on her, with deep spiritual roots. She felt she needed to serve, she needed to be committed more – even as the heart didn’t want to. Here began the separation/rift between the soft idealist and the harsh taskmaster within her. One side was that of the heart; the other was the discipline to serve. They seemed to be in dissonance as well.

But the truth was that Red had all the right in the Universe to not serve, if that’s how her heart felt.

The heart center is the indicator of alignment and appropriateness with the Light in all situations – the heart not being there with you, probably means there’s either something strongly out of place and in need of adjustment in the situation – or, you’re simply not supposed to be there. It just so happens Red had more or less achieved most of what she wanted to spiritually, and at that time and place, and in that ‘spiritual moment’ if you will, Red simply didn’t need to serve on Earth. It’s as simple as that (spiritually, Red/Clara did have one ‘open’ point of lesson. This will be addressed in #2 – but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.)

Yes, it is possible for the heart to want to not serve. Yes, it is possible for this to be a spiritual and appropriate choice. In a certain specific situation, in a certain set of circumstances, it might not be appropriate for the self to go and serve there! For others it might, and that’s fine. The heart knows things that the consciously aware mind may not be able to process at any given moment – but the heart still knows what’s true.

Red/Clara ended up mistrusting how their own heart felt. This was spiritual irony, given how much the truth of the heart was a matter of importance to them. You could say this is the core karmic aspect of lack of trust at the spiritual center of the matter.

Point #1 is about assessing the original event as something that comes as close to being a mistake – as far as Free Will choices go. The term mistake means the choice was made in misalignment with the heart, and resulted in consequences reflecting that misalignment.

In addition, Red, for a number of different factors, didn’t speak up for herself (spiritually, metaphysically) at the time of the decision-making. She didn’t stand up for her own heart and how she really felt. She wasn’t used to doing so on her own, and towards Blue, who had always supported her. So she felt in a certain way, but didn’t adopt a stance to protect it. Uncertain, they went for the softer compromise route, rather than for a stronger, determined stance. The suffering factor from misalignment would be able to be prevented, if not entirely at least to an extent, had she been able to do so. An additional observation regarding this point would therefore be, that a spiritual lesson for Clara will be to think for herself, and stand up for how she truly feels.

3.2 Profound Spiritual Requirement

Point #2 is about assessing the situation from a broader perspective. For that, we’ll need to go deeper.

Over the course of their many experiments together, in many realms and worlds, Blue and Red had always been together. This meant that, no matter the odds, no matter the challenges, they were at least always in each other’s presence or at least vicinity. This meant they always had the love for each other. Even if not everything was okay at any given time, generally speaking they were always there to support each other, to cover each other’s backs. In other words, they were nearly, virtually, always operating within, being ‘bathed’ by, a protective context of Love.

This is, of course, a good thing. But the downside of always being within Love – if there is one – comes from knowing you always have a fail-safe to fall back on. You always have a safety net, a plan B, a last resort. Again, while this is a good thing, you may also feel you’re not going to be truly tested to your limits, to your core, down to the studs so to speak.

From within the depths of their Soul (they are ultimately a ‘unit’, the same Soul) they began questioning what it would be like to not have, be in, that Love. It wasn’t overnight. This was a subtle whisper first, then became a vague doubt, and it came about very slowly, growing over time, with the accumulation of experiences. The fact the protective layer of each other’s Love was there, meant they didn’t really know if they were being pushed past their limits, and they didn’t know what those limits were. After a time, when Consciousness really wants to place itself up for a test and wants to learn from it, it will desire and aspire to go ‘all the way’. The Consciousness of their Soul increasingly began asking itself, what it would be like to not have each other’s presence around. What would “I” do, if the other wasn’t there. How would I cope. What would I learn. Would I be strong enough?

It was also a matter of contrast: how could they truly know their Love, if they were never apart from it? How would I know what I would do outside of Love, if I’ve always been in It? This was a deeply spiritual necessity from the Soul in knowing Itself, in a way that couldn’t be answered with what had been experienced before. There was a need to be away from Love, at least for a time, to understand it. There was a deep desire to stand on one’s own. Even though theirs was True Love of the highest order – precisely because of it.

This reading makes no judgment upon the Soul’s deliberations to serve its own progress and service. If it felt it wanted to explore being on its own, placing itself operating without the safeguard of Love, no one in the Universe would ever be able to talk it out of it, or remove the desire. The Soul is self-directed and has Free Will, and this holds as much power as the Universe itself. It is never a matter of whether it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but it’s about the spiritual nature of what is held by the Soul.

And so the doubt would only spread and grow. It began reaching a ‘significant mass’, in such a way it began becoming less subtle and more tangible, and being felt by each other, within, individually – again, both feeling the equivalent doubt within themselves, since both are the same Soul. Each experienced it as a form of questioning: if I ever want to go truly deeply into this matter, I’ll eventually need to be alone. But they were both afraid. Even after they were feeling the questioning intensely, they delayed. They delayed acknowledging the doubt. And they delayed going into any experience of such type, for as long as they could. Why? Because it would be unpleasant – especially for the two beings who, given i) their Angelic/Devic ties, ii) their commitment to serve Creation, and ii) them being used for eons in being in each other’s presence, were supremely biased towards Love.

When you know something’s going to be unpleasant, one of the things you may do initially to cope is avoidance. You delay. You delay even recognizing the thing is there in the first place. Then you delay reacting to it. Maybe the thing will go away. Until the thing is too big to ignore.

Because you know it’s not going to be good. Maybe it’s going to be “good” in terms of acquired wisdom, sure; but it’s not going to be a lesson learned nicely, in a soft, cushy manner. Being outside Love is rough. And risky, and dangerous – including spiritually. But for the same reason, they Soul knew Love afforded a level of safety that past a certain threshold hindered the depth of spiritual lesson and wisdom – and the level of service that could be provided to others as a result.

They both delayed, out of a very natural sense of fear. They both feared being without each other’s Love. They feared being alone. They feared the separation (in a spiritual/metaphysical sense first and foremost, as in, the energy of not-Love; but which could then result in literal experiences of separation from each other). They both did. This is why they delayed.

3.3 Blaming

At the point of the decision-making Blue and Red’s Soul(s) had reached such a point of this inner doubt that they more or less knew they were going to have to venture into an experience in a manner that was individual, self-driven. But Blue was the first with the initiative.

Both felt it first. He was the one to face it head on, and allow it forth. It was from this mindset that he was choosing. He was allowing himself to self-determine what he wanted to do. It was from this energy he was operating. Knowing it would be very challenging, it was a highly courageous move. Blue was determined, precisely because he knew he had to be. It wasn’t easy for him.

When in a partnership – including Twin Flames – a situation is calling for a difficult but assertive stance, even in perfect energetic alignment it is very rare both members have the initiative to move forth at the same time. There’s always one who gets there first, i.e. who holds the courage to do it before the other, or others. At which point he’s the leader, because he’s leading the charge towards the issue. This is not due to difference in ‘quality’ or worth, it’s simply due to the variation of energy: the two partners aren’t the exact same, they have a degree of difference in their energies, which makes them react slightly differently to different situations. Each will be ‘good’ or better at facing certain situations, while the other will be better, or feel more at ease, with others. At this point, in this situation, it was Blue who happened to be the first to face the spiritual quest for what it was, and dare to tackle it. But the spiritual doubt and necessity was of both. It was shared and it was the same. It wasn’t just of Blue.

Because Blue took the initiative, and displayed that initiative to allow a certain individualistic behavior coming from within him, Red sensed this, and this sparked the fears in her of separation she already had, without necessarily being prepared for it. She was still in a moment of “avoidance”. She sensed (and feared) separation, because deep down, this was what this energy represented: a certain degree of separation/distance between them, which was necessary for the next step in the lesson. This separation didn’t mean they’d stop Loving each other; it didn’t mean severing their spiritual ties of Love (they couldn’t). It strictly meant there was a spiritual need for each other to think for themselves, and be left to their own devices, at least to an extent, for a while. But Red dealt with it with discomfort – she hadn’t arrived at the point of courage herself, thus she was still in fear. So she felt pushed, coerced, akin to being imposed something by Blue which she felt she wasn’t ready to endure.

Within the various spiritual layers of Red/Clara consciousness in subtle levels, there was a tendency to blame Blue’s sense of initiative, i.e. thinking on his own terms, “by himself” (his Free Will). This tendency perceives other’s Free Will as a source of separation, the cause of problems. This was ‘cemented’ as it resulted in the heavy trauma, and separation within, upon the projection onto Earth. However, there’s some bias in this perception, because a) the desire for individuality was necessary, and not exclusive to just one of them, but was spiritually demanded by both; also, b) Blue had shown a great deal of courage, as any separation would be just as hard on him as well. Blue didn’t abandon Red, Blue would be feeling the separation equally – he just took the initiative to venture forth and face it first. Perhaps he was more courageous, perhaps he caved to it first, it depends on the perspective.

Additionally, taking initiative, leading, as its upsides, and it has its downsides. Being the first in doing anything, means others who aren’t the first will tend to place any consequences upon the shoulders of the one who leads: it’s their fault. Heavy is the head that weights the crown. Difficult is to go alone, to stand your own ground. Going first is a lonely, ungrateful task. Particularly difficult if your own partner, the one and only Soul in Creation who shares a bond of True Love for you, is blaming you for doing it.

3.4 Difficult Situation Regardless

Point #1 observes the choice made by Red as being of lack of alignment with the heart. Point #2 is about observing the same situation, but from a broader vantage point. Both #1 and #2 are valid; they don’t mean one is any less true than the other, they are equally valid at the same time. They are the same situation seen from different, hopefully complementary, perspectives.

Even if Red had stood her ground, and adopted an assertive stance about how she felt – remaining true about not descending onto Earth at all – the point of spiritual lesson for the Soul would still remain, and would still have to be addressed at some point, in some way.

Let us place the alternative scenario of, at the point of spiritual decision of both, Red having been able to speak from her own mind just as Blue did. This is not what took place, and it’s not meant to delving in the past. This is purely meant to provide insight into the situation. Had Red been able to stand for what she felt, knowing her heart’s truth to be valid and choosing according to it, Blue would have ventured forth to Earth while Red would have stayed back, not participating altogether (at least not in the molds that were described in this reading).

But in this alternative scenario, with the progression of linear time, two things would have happened.

First, Red would still have strongly felt separation from Blue, on the spiritual level, while he was ‘away’ (to the extent this was perceived/experienced). So there would still be separation regardless. Secondly, Red would have felt extremely passive and powerless, simply waiting for things to happen, all the while not knowing how Blue was doing, and feeling she wasn’t ‘there’ to assist him – if by any chance he needed it, and she could do so. Another way of putting this, would be that Red would miss Blue.

In this alternative scenario, halfway through the Earth experiment, the separation from Blue would have been too much for Red to handle. And, at some point, she would have decided to venture onto Earth regardless, in the hopes of meeting up with Blue once more, to assist him if he needed and it was ever appropriate, and also, to quell her own frustration of ‘sitting around doing nothing’. By this we mean Red is a Soul who also incarnates in the physical, and not participating in the experiment all the while Blue was doing so, would probably not sit very well with herself.
All of this to say, that while #1 observes venturing onto Earth as a Deva as being a ‘mistake’ in the sense of being an ungrounded, out-of-alignment decision, at the same time #2 observes the situation was difficult to begin with, and would have presented challenges of separation regardless.

It was a difficult situation. There was no easy solution to it. Not speaking up was a mistake in the sense of being out of alignment, but not a mistake in the sense of being irrevocable, destructive, or spiritually inappropriate. What truly defined the nature of the situation altogether, was the spiritual challenge residing at its core: to be able to have agency, to think and act for oneself, individually. This was to be explored, no matter the type of decision Red made.

So no matter her choice, one way or the other she would have always have to go through the same type of ordeals, and roughly speaking, end up in the same place, “at the end of the day”.

It is perhaps fair to say that speaking up, adopting a stronger, more assertive stance (self-agency) would have been the route of, perhaps, less instability, less difficulty, relatively speaking. Situations of difficulty are most efficiently handled from within a collected and focused mindset – if possible, whenever possible. The experience of separation would have still been felt, but honoring the truth of the heart would at least have lent Red a closer control over her own actions and choices. This would have somewhat protected her against the experiences of separation, helping prevent suffering in a ‘chaotic’ manner, so to speak. In turn, due to a certain level of guarding, or anticipation, which tends to lead to greater depths of planning and foresight. The projection as a Deva was especially traumatic, because a somewhat unprepared, agency-less portion of the self’s consciousness ended up ‘diving’ into the very separation it feared – and by nature felt it especially intensely.

Still, the existence of the core spiritual lesson (self-agency) means that, beyond this hypothetical analysis, there is no point in delving too much into ‘what ifs’. There is no value in wondering what would have happened, in a different scenario without the lesson being present, because that wasn’t the reality. The necessity of spiritual lesson was what led to what happened next.

The nature of the situation was always going to be of difficulty, because it involved experiencing absence of Love. Lack of Love is difficult by definition. This wasn’t avoidable. Even if portions of the equation intensified the separation felt in the path, spiritually there are really, ultimately, no “mistakes”, in the sense all Free Will choices concerning spiritual challenge will lead to learning. If route A is chosen and route A is marginally harder/longer than route B, then you’ll acquire wisdom corresponding to the difficulty of route A. But the lesson is what defines the destination. Even if you choose a longer route, the destination will still be the same.

You see, choosing in alignment with the heart doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be blissfully hopping across a field of roses in a sunny evening. Following the heart isn’t about ‘fairy tales’. When there is spiritual lesson, they can be difficult and challenging on their own, even if navigated with the heart. Not choosing from the heart, on the other hand, simply means you’ve chosen to learn it ‘the hard way’.

3.5 Waging a War

You asked about your love life, and about the feeling of missing someone. Spiritually, you miss Blue, and Blue’s Love, and support. In a more ‘abstract’ sense, you also miss yourself.

I inquired whether meeting with Blue in the physical was a possibility. Unfortunately the reading adopted a strong stance in preventing this information from being answered. The only thing I’m was shown was that Blue’s energy and Love are an integral part of your energetic/auric fields. In other words, his energy is part of you – always was, always will be. While you may perhaps not hold a conscious, specific awareness of this energy at this time, it will nonetheless provide you with a context of Love ‘in the background’ so to speak. I don’t have any further information available in this regard.

In the past, within the karmic patterns addressed in this reading, you have waged a war against Free Will. You’ve seen the possibility of choice of partners as the cause of problems, the source of instability and suffering, and you held the intention to block that Free Will, suppress it, prevent it. Spiritually, it was an attempt to avoid the repetition of the original spiritual event, which threw you off guard, and created a cascading of events that resulted in separation and suffering.

The Free Will of others is not the cause of your problems. The cause of your problems was the pattern that was developed,where you tended to choose the Loveless – individuals without Love, situations without Love, choices without Love – in attempting to deal with challenges. Because of these choices, you’d find yourself in situations without Love, in misalignment with your heart, by definition against you. Challenges can already be difficult enough when you make choices out of Love and alignment; choosing or going along with lack of love does nothing but to make things harder, more difficult, more painful. Suppressing the Free Will of others will only make things worse, intensifying their behaviors of misalignment.

Suppression of Free Will will likely also work against your as well. If you believe complete Free Will is bad and is to be avoided – freedom of feeling, freedom of choice, freedom of self-determination – then by those same values you’ll also be suppressing yourself: from feeling, from acting on your own accord, from thinking on your own terms, with your own mind and heart. You will also distrust what you feel – thus feeling lost, clueless and powerless. You will distrust the choices and actions you may aspire to take, dismissing them, or not being able to connect with them at all. You may also manifest others around you who inherently are invested in suppressing you, holding a tight grip over your identity, over what you say, think, and/or act. This would be a reflection of the inner karmic attributes herein.

You’ll need to stop waging war against Free Will. And you need to embrace it instead.

Embrace Free Will for others, and for partners, current and/or potential, accepting and allowing their freedom of choice. But also, especially, for yourself. Acknowledge your heart, i.e. what you really feel about situations, and then stand your ground about it. Make choices based on that truth, about what you really want to do, and how you want to do it. In other words, threading a path of her own.

Threading a path doesn’t mean turning on a switch and all of sudden wham you’re “thinking on your own”. Threading your path is a lifelong series of intentions, steps, and choices, made with a certain seeking in the background: the seeking of a place (vibration, situation, role, circumstances) to call home; the seeking of a vibratory state of inner alignment. It means connecting with what you really want to do – not whim, not the transient/emotional impulse, but the deep aspiration, the drive that doesn’t fade – and then seek to do it.

Discerning this may not always be easy, straightforward. Is X a whim or a true spiritual aspiration? Is this coming from Love, or from fear? Am I honoring my heart, or simply indulging? These things may not always be perfectly clear. But this discernment is involved in the process of threading the path. And so is the courage to move forward with self-driven decisions, when they’re identified and acknowledged. It’s as much about intention as it is about training, and a process of trial-and-error. A journey will then be formed by the sequences of steps made in a certain direction.

In a certain sense, it is the seeking itself that matters, along with the journey that seeking will describe. But that doesn’t mean one becomes able to think for themselves, on their own, after a single step. A certain enduring willingness is required. It is necessary to start, and then follow through. Such is the spiritual journey on Earth.
Red didn’t need to venture into Earth for service or learning – apart, perhaps, for one remaining, yet crucial aspect, which was what led to her current lessons: self-agency. To be able to acknowledge herself, stand up for what she feels, and then be able to act upon it.