Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading [Written]: Amaratren and the Beasts of War

The following is a Akashic Records Reading (Written) originally performed for a client. This is a reading performed over two weeks and delivered to the client in written, essay form. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias to protect their privacy. For the purposes of this publication, some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would impact the original, intended meaning. Additional readings are published at the Patreon page. For more information about Akashic Records Readings in general, please see: Akashic Records Readings. For more information about Written Readings specifically, please see: Reading Types at a Glance.

image of desert dunes

Part I. A Moment of Transition

1.1 A Moment of Balance and Assessment

When I connected with the Amelia’s energy, the first thing I felt was not knowing who I was, at all. I didn’t have any clue what my traits were, what I was good at. I didn’t know where to begin looking. I felt I’d spent a long time in dedication to others, so much that I lost touch with myself, with my own identity. Next, I accessed the Akashic Records, and in doing so I saw the following image.

I see myself as a point of consciousness in the vastness of space. There isn’t a physical body, and there aren’t any visible objects, planets, etc, nearby. I’m simply in middle of the void of space, as pure consciousness, observing the whole Universe in the distance. I’m standing still, as if in the same place, but my “eyes” are free to look in around me.

Even though there aren’t physical objects close, and all planets and stars look tiny specks in the distance, in some way I know, or I can easily perceive, the nature of each object, each planet, and I can focus on it if I so choose to. I can at any point focus on what each planet is, what happens there, what’s its nature and its story. When I do, it’s as if the planet is magnified and comes into focus, like when you see a distant object through a telescope.

In particular, I can easily connect with planets where I (Amelia’s Soul, or Amelia as a spiritual being) have had experiences, where it manifested. This broad overview of the Universe, is also concerning Amelia’s various experiences and manifestations across reality.

In this image I feel very calm, quiet. There’s a sense of stillness and isolation, with no negative sensation or thought ever crossing my mind. I feel only a profound, deeply enjoyable, sensation of relief, surrender, tranquillity, and absolute peace. This sensation fills me up, satiates me, as if I had been desperately thirsty and craving for it for a long time.

This image represents the Soul, on a purely spiritual level, perceiving the broad overview of all of its experiences, not particularly attached or involved with any one in particular, but knowing them all. At the highest levels, the Soul has this perception naturally. This image connects with Amelia’s current moment in life.

Amelia’s moment in life is,primarily, one if introspection, assessment, making a balance of past experiences, and of transition. The events in her life leading to this moment have made Amelia, correctly, observe that there could be a transition happening. Amelia is insightful and interpreted this correctly. Having had significant stages of her life coming to a close, or having their importance lessened in comparison to the past, now will allow for new things, new priorities, new information, for her.

1.2 Tranquillity

Up until this point much of Amelia’s time, energy, effort, and life in general, had been spent caring for and in support to others, and towards family. There’s no judgement about this. It was an honourable choice of the Soul. However, we do point out that spending a long time in devotion to others can detach, distance someone, from one’s own sense of self, since there’s a high amount of focus on others and their priorities, rather than on the self.

As circumstances change, experiences come to an end, and past priorities shift, the current stage in Amelia’s life is like a changing of the guard, a transition. It is also, again, a moment of assessment. Amelia is more and more questioning her own identity and sense of self. Who she is, and what is she meant to be doing.

One aspect of this stage is that Amelia is longing, craving, for tranquillity. Moments of peace and quiet will naturally feel very good, very pleasing to her. She must not feel guilty or embarrassed by this in any way. It does not mean she does not care for others, or that past priorities weren’t appropriate. This is a new energy and a new moment that are being offered to her, and they are completely correct in a spiritual sense. Therefore she can and should accept and embrace them.

Amelia will naturally desire and want moments of isolation, being on her own and with her own things, and also, silence – perhaps physical silence, but most importantly, energy silence. Even if those around her are loved by her,love her, and are well meaning, she will still require this personal space and time. It is by design.

She might feel at some points emotions and reactions she never had before. She might feel annoyed and irritated simply by the presence or the speech of someone else. She might feel lacking in patience to others, even if it’s simply being open to listen to them. She might feel especially sensitive about what others say or think. She might be short on energy to do menial tasks or everyday chores. This is something that is not in grandiose, “big”, but happens in the minutia, in normal day-to-day situations.

When these kinds of feelings come forth Amelia should allow them, and respect what she’s feeling, as a priority over trying to understand why, or find reasons to justify them, and possibly deny them. Amelia allow others saying she’s being “overly sensitive”, that “it’s age”, or anything of the sort, to be a deterrent to feeling these things.

There will be reasons for her emotions, even if she doesn’t know them yet. For example, if she’s in interaction with someone and she feels lack of patience or irritation, even if the person isn’t saying anything offensive, that might indicate that Amelia at that moment, spiritually, would prefer to be alone and in relative quiet, as opposed to be in interaction with someone else.

This opening of space for for herself, and perhaps a little less patience, if you will, again does not mean she does not love or care for her relatives and friends. It simply means she spiritually desires to spend more of her attention for herself now.

There is a desire for an increase in lone time, personal space, and open up the opportunities for them.

1.3 Turning Inward

This desire for tranquillity, in truth, is in a significant way the desire for tranquillity from others. This is not so much about protecting herself against bad, offensive energy or ill-intent. Rather, it the creation and maintenance of necessary personal space and energy, and a healthy dose of the emotional detachment that allows for this to happen.

This necessity for tranquillity is a reflection of a spiritual desire to take a step back and make a balance of things. It’s a desire to withdraw some of the energy invested in others, in the stance of being always open and receptive to the external, and instead focus more on the self. It’s a turning inward. It’s also a desire to detach a little from being invested in the external, and be able to calmly assess reality from a broad perspective, in a manner that is healthy and balanced.

By allowing herself the time and space for this to happen, for this new energy to come in for her, this will allow her own consciousness and awareness to naturally expand, rise, aligning itself more and more with the perspective and views of her own self as a spiritual entity.

On a spiritual level, Amelia has grown tired of the experience of spending a lot of her energy on just one person at a time, or with the same 2-3 people. Not in the sense that she is against it, but that she has grown satiated from such experiences, and now she’s ready for something different. In particular, she is now opening up, and preparing, to the possibility of helping others meaningfully and spiritually, in a larger scale.

Being open and receptive to others is a giving of energy. It takes energy to always be available. Should Amelia ever come to a place where she’s being of service to others in a broad or professional sense, she will need to have learned and trained the management of her own energy. Instead of being always emotionally available to everyone in a permanent basis, “by default”, she’s slowly learning how to balance (1) openness with (2) having personal space and energy for herself.

So this new energy of, let’s say, “lack of patience”, or lack of energy, might perhaps appear to go in the the opposite direction. But they are indeed aligned. To wonder for a way to help others is a reflection of the desire to do something in a larger scale.

We do point out that, within this same desire, there is also an energy that is kind of a lunging forward, a necessity that is almost an obligation, to help, assist, be there. Part of this energy is (a) the habit/tendency of always being needing to be openand emotionally available to others, and (b) the programmed human notion of what responsibility is, and the necessity of working for a living as a priority above listening to the heart and the spirit.

As explained previously, Amelia will feel a general sensation of not only lack of identity, but also lack of purpose, not having concept of what to do next. Ideas seem to not be flowing. In this sense, it’s felt as if a blockage. But this is because Amelia – not just for this lifetime, but for her journey as a spiritual being up to this point – has been adjusting and living for everyone else. It will take a little time for her to “re-calibrate”.

It is indeed the purpose of the need for isolation and tranquillity.

1.4 Fun, Enjoyment

This new stage of learning for Amelia is not only about quiet time for herself, but also for quality time in general, such as enjoyment and fun. Part of this process involves the allowing of the things that make her happy and vibrant, even if they may seem small, juvenile, unproductive, or “silly”.

This is not just about toys and “unproductive” fun. Fun is a fundamental aspect of Life. Without fun Souls wouldn’t exit the infinite state of God, they wouldn’t be on Earth.

So this training, which is part of her current stage of personal learning, is actually very important. It is very important that you acknowledge what makes you happy, and allow yourself doing those things. For example if you like playing with dolls, knitting, or watching soap operas on T.V., you must allow yourself such things – or you must allow yourself to experience them without guilt – in your life and daily experience, regardless of what they are.

It’s also important you accept whatever little quirks and quips you might have/do. Again, not grandiose/large-scale things, but the smaller ones in the day-to-day, things that affect your daily personal mood. [Nuno: I keep seeing the image of Amelia wanting to watch television on her own, to relax, and them someone comes next to her and says “you have attention for the television, but not for me”? So I had to come back from finishing the reading, and adding this: watching television can have a relaxing and detaching effect, in a sense, because it can be less wasteful in terms of personal energy than being in conversation with someone else. Because you don’t have to speak to the television. But in a conversation you must actually listen to what the other person is saying. So if someone puts into question that you have more energy for the television than for him/her, you should say that you want to watch television by yourself, quietly, because it relaxes you – but not when someone is at your side demanding attention.]

Part of this stage for her, should Amelia choose to accept it, will also involve the feeling that “only know I’ll be able to live life as myself – but am I not too old?” Amelia might think something along the lines of “I’m 50, most of my life is gone now. So what’s the point?”. However we’d suggest a different train of thought.

First and foremost, we’d like you to ask yourself the following: what’s the point of enjoying your time, if it’s not with something that you want to be doing?

Spirit knows who you are and what you want to do, and is now providing you with the allowance to move on from previous commitments and into new things for your life. Therefore we’d like to challenge the thought of “what’s the point if I’m fifty”, with the following question: what’s the point of renouncing something when we’re giving it to you? Do you happen to think we don’t know best?

Furthermore, we’d also like to say that circumstances on Earth at this point are allowing for increasingly longer lives in health and comfort. All you have to do is look around you, and see for yourself that individuals, in general, and in practical terms, are living longer, and with more vitality and discernment. For these reasons, while it is understandable the degree of anxiety related to the realization that “time remaining is becoming shorter”, at the same time it is not logical to see the year 50 as the milestone for when life is done and finished. Life is done and finished when it is, and until that point, there’s work to be done, things to be lived, experiences to be had. Otherwise, if there was nothing else, you’d already be gone by now.

The 40/50-year mark is, in fact, a period that typically corresponds to the maturing of the human being in an emotional and experience sense.

Youth is extremely malleable and influenced by the external world. It’s also particularly pulled around by biology, and by a deep desire to belong. There is much to look forward to in the future, and with that comes an intrinsic energy of excitement and freedom – the future is not here yet. But these feelings tend to fade as this stage is passed, and attention shifts from a potential future to a more real and “already arrived” present. And so at this point humans begin to question if the excitement of youth was really truthful or meaningful.

But it’s at 50 when the human being it’s at the peak – and never leaves it. Hormones, and the vibe of “excitement”, are not quite as strong as before, and don’t exert as much influence. There’s more space for careful discerning, more calmness, and particularly important, there’s enough accumulated experience about life and about the self in order to begin to have a sense of actually “knowing what you’re doing”, as opposed to having many questions and few answers.

Humans are wired, and to some extent culturally programmed, to love the natural excitement and beauty of youth, to worship youth and youthful things. Everything is easy, abundant, natural. Energy is just there, because youth. The river flows powerfully downstream. However youth is not the be-all and end-all. In this perspective dismiss the calmness when the river widens and calms down just before entering the ocean. They only like being pushed around. They love the initial roller coaster, the tumultuous and exciting descent, but when they reach calm waters and clear skies, they dismiss them, and spend their remaining time wanting to go back to the beginning, rather than enjoying the ride. Or at least, this is what tends to happen at this moment in time. Humans are neglecting, not embracing, dismissing, their own maturity and wisdom as they reach their peak.

This is not meant to say all humans only go through the same cycles, or have the same stages of emotional maturity. The 50-year mark is not a fixed milestone. No life is the same. This is simply an observation of a pattern that exists in the human existence, and our point is simply to contradict the idea – conscious or subconscious – that life is gone by the time you’re 50.

You’re short on energy because you’ve been living detached from your own self. You’ve been longing for a more youthful self that had energy, excitement, hope. It gave you long-term objectives, such as starting a family and building a home. But now that those things are more or less “done”, you now crave for the same sensation of purpose, of direction. You crave for something to live for, which you feel is now missing somewhat.

1.5 Alignment

Perhaps you feel tired and saturated. Perhaps you feel old and worn out. In truth, you are tired, yes, but of carrying burdens and living disconnected from your own self. Granted, of this you’re tired.

However, you are not tired of living life. And particularly, if it’s a life you want to live.

Energy comes from living in alignment with what you want to, and this includes the spiritual level. When you align yourself with what your spirit wants, you begin receiving natural vitality and enthusiasm, regardless of biological age. This vitality and enthusiasm are not the youthful ones. The ones who look for a future that hasn’t arrived yet, the ones that think “there is time” and relax because of that. This vitality is the joy of living in the moment, in the present, and of doing what you want. It’s the energy of Infinite Creation that comes through from your own spiritual self, as you live a life that aligns with it.

Now is when the fun truly begins.

At this moment your spirit no longer wants to devote as much to family and friends, and to small-scale menial tasks, but instead to a focus that has much more to do about yourself. First you’re beginning to allow your-self to rise to the surface, because you’ve been largely unfamiliar with it. As you do so, that allows you to know better how it is you want your life to look like.

On a side yet related note, you might consider hiring a cleaning person for your house if you haven’t already, or, reach an agreement with family members to share those tasks. Or, at the very least, allow yourself the inner decision that at some point down the future you’ll eventually be able to cease spending energy on those duties. The energy from your spiritual self for such menial tasks is rapidly coming to a close, and this will happen regardless of the consideration if it’s “correct” or not, if it’s “responsible” or not. Your spirit is above the mind and knows best for your life, than what the mind can conceive.

Part II. Amaratren

2.1 The Man and the Army

We’ll now depart from the previous topic, and move on into a memory of Amelia’s Soul.

In the previous image of the point of consciousness gazing the Universe, the focus is now placed upon a specific planet. This planet is one among the myriad of objects and lights, indiscernible in the background. The point of awareness doesn’t move, doesn’t “go” anywhere. Instead, it knows that in the background there’s a planet, which comes into view as if looking through a telescope. It’s seen from a distance, small, spinning in place, light brown in colour. Amelia’s Soul had experience in this planet. It is one such memory I’ll proceed to describe.

The first image I see is of an individual standing at the top of what looks like an elevation of light brown terrain, which looks like a dune of sand, or similar. He appears human, although I don’t feel the biological appearance as particularly relevant. He’s dressed elaborately, with a cape, standing with both arms over his right leg, bending slightly forward. His energy seems to be of a military general or leader.

I will refer to this man, an aspect of Amelia’s Soul, using the name Amaratren. This name simply attempts to capture the energy of the memory, and to stand for the person – so we don’t have to constantly say “the man”, or “the aspect of Amelia’s Soul”. From now on he’ll be referred to as Amaratren.

Amaratren is overlooking the terrain ahead, from the top of the dune. He is leading a military campaign, and he is enthused about it. He looks in the distance, upon lands towards which his troops will be advancing. I feel a great amount of confidence, anticipation, exhilaration even. Not only there isn’t any doubt that he’ll succeed, but it’s almost as if he’s anticipating something.

Next, along the ridge of sand elevations along and behind the man, coming up from behind the dunes, suddenly start emerging a number of very large, bulky animals. These animals are trained, and are part of the army. As they appear from behind the dunes, the man’s eyes widen, and he smiles. His expression seems to indicate that these are his trump card, his element of surprise.

Because of their role in this story, before we proceed further we need offer some description about these animals.

2.2 Puffing Animals

The hide or skin in these animals is pale brown, perhaps beige, in tone. They have an round, spherical torso, almost swollen, like the appearance of a filled air balloon, and short and stocky legs, neck and head, small in size in comparison with the rest of the body. The animals look something like a cross between a elephant and a giraffe, with a large bulky body, akin to that of an elephant, with very short limbs and a small head. Actually, the animal’s head doesn’t even seem to be there at all, or perhaps it’s immersed, tucked in the rest of the body, without being a prominent or discernible feature.

Each animal is mounted and directed by a single rider, and they’re being used as part of the army, like a war machine, much like elephants were at times used on Earth with the same purpose.

While not particularly fast – they would perhaps be slightly slower than elephants in comparison – they nonetheless were built like tanks, quite literally. The insides of their bodies are filled with a high amount of air, which made them look like enormous balls, much like when a puffer fish swells. When they do this swelling up, it makes them extremely tough and difficult to harm, impervious to most weapons. The leathery, smooth skin is not only very tough, and it can partially absorb external impact by retracting inward into the accumulated pockets of air, but also, when the animal is puffed up, this conceals most exposed body parts, and places a safe distance between the outer skin and vital organs. So it was extremely difficult to harm them with the weapons of the time.

At this time the technological level would perhaps correspond to somewhere between the classical and middle-ages periods on Earth. There’s some little technological innovation, in some places, but warfare is primarily made in close range, on foot, with medieval-like hand-held weapons like the equivalent of swords, spears, bows, etc. This planet was primarily a desert planet, in other words, the majority of the surface of the planet was arid, a little like the African, North-American, or Australian continents on Earth have large portions of desert land. Civilization exists mostly in larger, independent cities, which were mainly situated near points of abundance of water or resources, and by scattered desert-dwelling peoples, who lived as loosely associated tribes, in small-scale dwellings and/or in a nomadic lifestyle.

The usage of these animals was an innovation at this time, directed by Amaratren, who is the leader of his society. It’s not so much that there wasn’t general knowledge on how to somewhat train and use the animals before. It had more to do with reaching a sufficient level of organization and economic power, that would allow to breed, produce, and train these animals on a large scale. That was the merit of this civilization, the first on the planet to be able to so. No one else had previously managed to organize themselves to make this even remotely viable.

These animals were immensely costly to maintain, both in the intake of food, and also in the time it took to properly train multiple generations until they were usable in combat. The animals were herbivorous but rather temperamental and aggressive in the wild. Think of large African wild fauna, such as Rhinoceros or Elephants. Their bloating feature was used not so much to defend themselves against predators, but to fight among each other for social standing – which they did a lot. So taming/domesticating them was seen as perhaps possible, but risky, and generally inadvisable – particularly more than one at a time. To approach such animals to begin with was extremely dangerous, let alone train and use them for anything.

One issue with Elephants on Earth, was their famed volatile temperament, which was still present when they were trained to be used in armies. When Elephants were harmed or spooked by something, they would frequently turn around and flee in a random direction, beyond the control of the handler, and quite possibly, trampling over their own troops. Elephants, for that reason, were always powerful and scary, but relatively unreliable.

These “bloaty” animals however, when tamed, were rather focused and disciplined. In part through breeding, in part through learned training methods, the civilization managed to harness the natural vicious temperament and fury of the animals, under control of the handler’ s bidding, by maintaining a strict 1-on-1 bonding between animal and his handler – whom were frequently paired for life. Such level of training and bonding (it involved an elaborate emotional personal connection with the animal) was also an innovation developed by Amaratren’s society. So when battle was about to happen, it was possible to make the animals “puff up” and bloat on queue, reveal them to the enemy all at once, and make them descend upon them by performing a charge.

This was a scare tactic. It’s what is depicted in the first image of this memory. It was terrifying to watch, and instantly demoralizing, because everyone on the planet was instinctively primed to fear these animals, much like humans are afraid of snakes or spiders. This was because there was no counter to them. Nothing man-made at the time could harm these animals.

So what happened in practice, was that this civilization had managed to control and develop a weapon that was both terrifying, and impossible to defend against. If the handler ordered the animal to walk somewhere, stand somewhere, or knock something down, very little could prevent it from happening.

This was an economic and military development similar to the invention on Earth of actual tanks, to the first use of the horse, or perhaps, the innovations used by Alexander the Great of Macedon – only greater. The civilization, to which this leader belongs to, secured themselves a weapon that was unbeatable with the technology of the time.

2.2 Disclaimer

At this point we’ll need to take a moment to make a disclaimer.

Spirit does not endorse war. Spirit is not, ever, invested in any activity that involves the suffering, injustice, or infringement on the free will of one being towards another, both individually and collectively. The themes and topics addressed in this reading, namely those related to war and to the memory being explained, are not to be interpreted as any type of justification to the waging of war, between human beings, or any other entity in existence.

Spirit, however, is bound to work with the beliefs and perspectives of Souled beings incarnating on a planet, in service to them and in assistance towards whatever matters concern them. Spirit is meant to assist whatever experiences can be conceived and have been chosen, by the collective of Souls incarnating in a planet, at any point in time. The free will of individuals is what determines what can and cannot be done, what can and can’t happen, and how can service be provided – including by Spirit from the other side of the veil.

The awareness level of 3D, which is the stage of consciousness planet Earth is still on at this point in time, and the one of this planet at this time, is characterized by such a contraction of awareness, such a level of separation, that the self often perceives others – other individuals, other groups, other countries, other ideas, other ways – in a quite distant and impersonal manner. Often, threatening and menacing. There’s a profound fear of what’s different.

In 3D, perspectives don’t necessarily involve empathy, compassion, heart, or understanding. An idea is either completely right or completely wrong; someone is either completely good or completely evil; different perspectives can’t co-exist with one another; resources seem limited, and so intentions of survival and prosperity may, and often do, conflict with each other. Struggle on one side can very easily be blamed on the neighbor’s success. The ability to place oneself in others’ shoes, so to speak, is limited. And so, it is quite common that the neighbor next door can either be seen either as a vital friend, or a bitter rival. Sometimes it can quickly cross between the two.

In 3D, different groups, territories, cultures, can harbour and accumulate within themselves, sometimes for long periods of time, beliefs of tension, animosity, rivalry, conflict, with each other, even if they’re not actively acting upon such beliefs. Such is valid for aggressor and victim alike, since it’s not possible to draw into your reality a situation you’re not matched to in some way. Such beliefs of separation were not placed there by Spirit. They are to a degree part of the 3D experience, and they are held implicitly by the free will of the Souls incarnating at that time.

And so, in certain circumstances, it is possible that in order for consciousness to evolve, to progress, and to reach certain thresholds in its evolution, there’s no other way for collectives and individuals in 3D than to go through the experience of war – even if such experience involves suffering, pain, and grief. Consciousness often needs to go through suffering to learn that suffering is not necessary (or that it can and should be refused). Only when consciousness, on all sides, learns to recognize war, violence, conflict, rivalry, as barbaric concepts that are not to even be considered, that is the moment when war, in a collective agreement, is seen as intolerable, and becomes non-viable as a solution. In a sense, reaching this level of awareness, is the goal, the threshold, towards Spirit is always working towards, particularly throughout the 3D experience. Until then, it may be that the experience of war can’t be avoided.

Nothing justifies war or suffering. The only thing that might be closely interpreted in that sense, is when incarnating Souls have chosen such experiences through the course of their lessons. The necessity for suffering is strictly restricted to the need to reach a point of evolution, when consciousness no longer perceives suffering as tolerable.

Sometimes, old energy must be purged before new one can occupy its place. And sometimes, the only way to purge old energy, the only way to work through built-in tension, fear, animosity, accumulated over long periods of time, is to go through the experience of conflict, where both sides meet can can work through their own fears. Regardless of experiences Souls choose to go through, we can offer protection, and lessen harm done, to a degree – but not to the point that the experience is denied if it has been chosen. Only when the Soul (and Souls) actively refuse and deny suffering for themselves, that’s when war truly comes to an end, and that is when we can intervene in that sense. But not before.

Spirit learned a long time ago that sometimes it’s of no use avoiding or delaying in perpetuity experiences that are negative, if those experiences are the choices of the Soul, or the collective of Souls. This choosing may not be done consciously, explicitly. But it is done with beliefs, perspectives, concepts, attitude. You are always manifesting your reality around you. You are always making a choice, whether you realize it or not. That is the trait of Souled beings.

Throughout the course of 3D cycles, civilizations and societies can grow to admire the archetypes of leaders who are strong warriors and conquer as many territories as possible. This is why Alexander the Great is called “the Great”, and not “Alexander the Barbarian” or “Alexander the Brute”. He was Great to his people because he was successful in conquering the lands of his long-time enemies, the Persians, and beyond, even though this was done by military means, by the shedding of blood. But this process was what was “admitted”, if you will, or conceived, by the consciousness of the time.

On Earth today, it would be nearly inconceivable for an European leader to declare war on all others in order to occupy them by force. Consciousness has reached some maturity where it largely has refused the idea of war – at least to some degree, at least in some parts of Earth. But this happened at great cost, namely, going through the experience.

Spirit does not make the choosing. If we did, we’d never choose war. Infinity is benevolent and loves Life. It’s the Souls in the grand cycle of incarnations, that make the decisions, explicitly or implicitly, regarding their own experiences. And we are to work with what you allow us to. It is under this context that we will proceed.

2.3 Comparison with Alexander

We brought forward Alexander the Great, because there are some similarities between his story and the story of Amaratren.

Much like Alexander, Amaratren used a military innovation, a breakthrough, in order to achieve significant military dominance in his time. Alexander took advantage of some innovations left to him by his father Philip, and further developed them and used them in battle. These were using close phalanx formation with long spears, and using “companion cavalry”, were groups of cavalrymen were bonded together by familiar ties – brothers, cousins, and so on. Alexander somehow clearly knew, felt, these innovations would allow him to win most battles, and other armies of the globe would not be able to match it. This, together with his vision and courage, is how he was able to take an army and march across a vast territory.

Amaratren’s story is similar, in which he used a military innovation, mainly using the bloated animals, trained and in large numbers, which gave him a tactical tool that would always leave him in advantage. Much like Alexander, he did not come up with the whole thing by himself, on his own. The building up of his society, and the decision to try and invest in the breeding of these animals, were slowly developed through the course of multiple past generations, by his predecessors, the leaders before him. The innovation was not simply a military one, but it was also cultural, economic, on multiple levels, from that specific society.

Amaratren was not responsible for doing all of these things from scratch. By the time he came to be in his position of leadership, he already had both the economy and the possibility to field these animals at his disposal. What he did was simply to place all the pieces together, and follow his clear vision. He saw the tools he had, and what he could to with them. It was clear. And as the puzzle pieces fell into place, he knew he’d simply be the one to implement them.

On Earth, in the times of Alexander, the Greeks/Macedonians had lived for a long time in fear of being conquered by the very large and scary eastern empires, most notably Persia. These tried often to do so, and at times came close, most notably the incursion of the Persian army in the more famous battle of the “300”. The Persian Empire was extremely large and powerful, and generations after generations of Greeks lived in fear of some day “the Persians coming” to conquer them. So you may observe that the Alexander’s exploits were, also, a resolution, a defiance, a release: the facing and resolving of high amounts of accumulated fear by an entire group of people. This is also why Alexander was called “the Great”: a hero. Because he not only took, very rapidly for those days, all of the Persian and Babylonian lands, largely seen as the bogeyman up until that point, but then he kept going, all the way into India. It was truly a reckoning, a catharsis, the facing and conquering of old, ancestral fears. This is what Alexander meant.

Furthermore, there was also yet another aspect to Alexander’s story. On the broader scale, Alexander’s life would be about the expansion of the Greek-based culture throughout the world, bringing it closer to the eastern peoples.
After Alexander died, the whole territory he had conquered up until that point was then divided and managed by his Macedonian close generals and family members. As they did so, these would often actively merge the cultural aspects of the region they were ruling over, with Macedonian/Greek ones, creating a cultural blend.

The Macedonian/Greek culture was a progress in its day, relative to others. It saw clear and significant developments in philosophy, art, mathematics, thinking, reasoning, and also, for example in how women were treated, and how the human being was understood. In general terms, this culture had a relative less tolerance for slavery, and higher standards of treating and perceiving the human being, particularly in comparison to the eastern empires.

While it may sound contradictory, Alexander’s life had the long-term broad purpose, which was truly on a spiritual nature, of spreading the Greek influence throughout the world, and of bringing peoples closer together. This was achieved through the act of war because, at that time, it could not have been differently. The peoples involved perceived, regarded, each other, as little more than scum, below-human mortal enemies. There was an abundance of the energy of hatred, fear, and conquest, towards each other. The way it was achieved was in accordance with the Soul’s perceptions and lessons at the time. Without it, the populations of the warring territories would always have perceived themselves as foreign, distant, foes, hostile. It was a necessary step in the long-term, broad evolution of Earth’s consciousness as a whole – even if it was achieved through conflict.

This is not to say that consciousness on Earth today is perfect In this regard. As you might observe, conflict and war still exist. However what’s fundamentally important at any given moment is the improvement, the raising of energy. Evolution in consciousness is gradual, in steps. It takes time. It rarely happens suddenly, in an instant, in an explosion. Rather, it’s a long, drawn-out process, where it matters most the gradual raising of energy, and the direction where things are headed to, of which Spirit is permanently aware, at any temporal scale.

When incarnated, the individuals involved might not be clearly aware of such considerations to the highest degree, of the big picture. They may perceive their actions as being divinely inspired or “supported by God”, for example, according to their beliefs and interpretations at the time. But they’re rarely seeing the broad scope. They simply felt inspired into action, because they were part – they are always part – of something bigger. For example, by seeing Alexander as “good” and not “bad” or “evil”, the Greek peoples knew of his role to them in an intuitive, subtle level.

We are going through Alexander’s story in this much detail (it’s almost the Alexander the Great’s reading!) because Amaratren’s context was precisely the same. He was the “Alexander the Great” of his time.

His country had struggled to develop against adversity in the past. Their bogeymen was, historically, being raided and threatened by many of the neighbouring peoples coming from the desert, to which they were historically exposed to, in permanent vulnerability. Thus they had grown defensive, careful, shut down, due to the accumulation of long-term fears and trauma of being frequently sacked and plundered. Of others doing of them whatever they liked.

Amaratren he was now at the front of a military action that, on the spiritual level, had the broader purpose of resolving old feelings of fear and injustice, the spreading of cultural aspects which had improvements in comparison to others, and the long-term bringing together of different peoples, which in the past saw each other simply as “evil”, as foes and enemies, without any kind of connection or common ground among them.

2.4 Critical Mass

And so Amaratren did succeed in his goal.

His planet had one Pangea-like, primary landmass, a big main continent surrounded by ocean, with large portions of arid land. The planet had a few other islands and smaller continents, but the significant portion of population, and the most developed societies and groups of people, were located in this larger landmass. If you were to look at this main continent in a map, the country where Amaratren came from was located near the north-east corner, and as he proceeded to conquer the neighbouring areas, he rapidly spread his territory “down” and “left”, in the map.

Even though in the beginning he had a clear and significant military advantage, from theory to practice goes a long way. That is, in fact, the importance of the energy of the leader. He sees the potentials, what can actually be done, and then he does so going beyond the barriers of uncertainty and fear, which might keep others held back.

In theory, there wasn’t any certainty of winning. While the war was ongoing, it could always be possible for rivals to develop an answer. They could find some way to counter the elephant-like animals; a new leader could appear using new never-before-seen tactics; or, they could create some kind of special weapon of their own. So in the beginning of the campaign, despite the advantages, there was nevertheless always the uncertainty in the air, and the sensation that it was important to rapidly conquer others before they had the time to adapt and develop.
But indeed, there came a time in his campaign when Amaratren reached a threshold, a critical mass, if you will, in his conquests.

At this point he had taken roughly 60% of rival lands land, and these 60% included most of the developed territories, the ones that were more likely to challenge or threaten his progress. At this point, the territories that did remain no longer realistically had the power, even if they all united together, to stop him. While it wasn’t something that was absolutely certain, much like when a team has mathematically won the championship before all games are over, from this point there was a more or less clear sensation that the complete unification of this main continent by Amaratren was just a matter of time, a formality, more than anything else.

2.5 A Shift in Perspective

When this moment was reached, something within Amaratren changed, almost literally overnight.

He was resting in his quarters, during the campaign, in a recently conquered city. And he realized what we’ve just explained: that the main challenge was over, and that the prospect of attaining his goal was now a near-certain, tangible reality. He suddenly realized that his lifetime goal, his vision of uniting the world under his domain, all he had worked for and dreamed about, had been reached.

In this moment, his vibrant excitement and enthusiasm suddenly gave way to a kind of emptiness, a purposeless void. All of his existence, role, and even identity, had reached the conclusion they were aiming for… so what now? What would his life be about from now on? What would happen? His mind turned forward, to for the first time realistically contemplating a future he hadn’t given that much thought until then.

As Amaratren did so in his mind, for the first time in his life he was uncertain and hesitant – as opposed to the typical unwavering confidence and determination he had always known. He felt as if he was threading undiscovered waters. His mind did not wrap around it. This alone scared him, again, because it was something he never had experienced before. The fact that he was feeling scared, scared him further.

One of the things Amaratren thought, was how would the new territory – which was, in practice, most of the world – be ruled, and by whom.

Amaratren had mobilized the noble family leaders and high-profile figures and leaders of his country with his inspiring confidence and vision. This determination was what united, mobilized, convinced others around him to fight alongside him, and bring the country together so that these efforts could be possible, much like Alexander had done with his Companion Cavalry members, which were simultaneously elite soldiers, and, for the most part, related members of the noble and high-profile families. This union and empathy was vital for his success.

Amaratren had sold his generals the idea that once the territories had been conquered, they would be equally and justly divided among the various families, like awarding nobility titles and lands in a monarchy. But now Amaratren considered the following: what will happen once the war is over? And he instantly realized once that was achieved, there would no longer be any particular reason for all the family members to unite and stick behind him, and trust him to be the leader – or any one leader in particular for that matter.

In his thoughts, the fact that he was feeling uncertain and doubtful, undermined by his own lack of faith and certainty, and his ability to mobilize others. He realized that he wouldn’t have the same charisma and certainty, and therefore he wouldn’t remain being in the role of the leader everyone mobilized for.

No longer united under a same cause, Amaratren realized that, once it came to be decided who had power over what, and how would the kingdom be ruled, with time the noble family members and high-profile figures would inevitably descend into fighting among each other for power, and possibly even conspire against him, should he remain in a position of leadership.

In these considerations, Amaratren was not so much concerned about losing his own power or leadership in and of itself, but that the world’s territories would not end up remaining united, but split apart again, each divided among internal factions and family members. Most likely the world would see itself again with the exact same territories warring against each other just the same, simply under another name, banner, ruling. In fact, as the uncertainty of victory was dissipating, such quarrelling and disputes could begin to happen at any time, starting that very moment.

All of this, Amaratren saw in the middle of one night, in his own thoughts, without speaking to anyone.

In this moment, Amaratren realized that the great beasts of war conquered territories for him, but they would do nothing to keep the territories united after that. Amaratren realized that all that mattered all along, were the people themselves. The beliefs, feelings, views, of the people, and of whoever was in charge, was what ultimately determined the fate of what would happen at any given moment – not some new war machine or tool. He realized that even if leaders and the ones in charge were different, if opinions and internal views didn’t change, the world would revert to being exactly as it was before, only with different names and labels.

Amaratren felt deflated and frustrated. He could conquer territories, but he couldn’t change people. In considering possibilities to keep the world united and in peace, he felt he didn’t have true, heartfelt support from those around him – they were all egotistically after power and wealth, and seeking revenge – but he felt they didn’t actually care for him, enough to remain by his side after the war had ended.

Amaratren felt he didn’t have as much skill with people, as he did when planning and organizing. He didn’t know how to make others trust and genuinely care for him, beyond a pragmatic military vision and might that would bring about power by force. He felt he wasn’t likeable, and that he didn’t know how to make people like him as a person. This made him feel very vulnerable and alone, despite being at the forefront of the greatest conquest his civilization had ever seen up until that point.

Amaratren was an aspect of a Soul – Amelia’s Soul – which is a Master Planner, a Leader, and a Visionary. He could very easily and naturally have an overview of any situation, see all potentials clearly, and plan his actions accordingly, before anyone else did. Prior to incarnating he knew, and prepared extensively, for a scenario which was unprecedented, and very important, for that planet’s history. This is why, when he incarnated and became leader, he was supremely confident, trusting, and enthusiastic about his own vision. He knew what to do every step of the way. And his certainty and energy transpired to, and inspired, all others around him.

But he hadn’t planned, at all, what would happen if, and after, his actual goal had been reached. On one hand, this was simply because he was so excited and enthusiastic about playing such a big role in such a large event, one which would potentially change the course of the planet’s journey, that didn’t he focus much on anything beyond it. It was this lack of planning beforehand, part of the reason that made him feel uncertain and uncomfortable. Being the master planner he was, he felt very confident about what he had planned from a spiritual level, but very insecure and frail about something he hadn’t. He was uncomfortable not knowing how to deal with the situation, not knowing how to control it.

2.6 Options

Being the master planner he was, at this moment Amaratren clearly realized that his vision of uniting the world under one domain was achievable, and at the same time it wasn’t. If his side could physically conquer land, but keeping the territory united as one, however, was a whole different thing. He would not be able to prevent squabbles and infighting to happen among his own leadership, and the risk of this happening would only grow bigger over time.

And so he pondered his options.

One possibility was for him to keep himself strictly in the role of military leader, and then step down once the war was over, letting others take over the ruling. While he wasn’t able to prevent others from fighting for power, he could at least keep his integrity and remain the rest of his days largely uninvolved and observant – perhaps in some form of advisory or overseeing role – but letting others sort whatever disputes they could have between themselves.

However, he saw this as copping out. How could he leave behind precisely the very same idea towards which he was fighting for? Without this nothing made sense. He also thought he would most certainly lose his own aura of wisdom, as seen by others, if he would simply step down from absolute power once he had attained it by his own merit.
But Amaratren wasn’t interested in fighting or competing for power. His primary and true goal, even on a subtle spiritual level, was just the unification of the planet, which could finally, hopefully, bring peace to his people. And that he had achieved. So instinctively, at some level, he felt content, and because of this, he had little need or desire to get involved in more power disputes after the war.

The civilization in that planet was in 3D and highly power driven, including Amaratren’s society, even if they had been largely victims and reluctant warriors up until that point. He had promised power and prosperity to them. So he perceived he would simply lose the respect of others if he took the decision to step down. If he did that, he’d lose whatever credibility he had. And as a consequence, he’d lose much of his ability to influence the course the world would take.

For all of these reasons, he couldn’t conceive just stepping down. While perhaps he would prefer to do so, he himself felt it was like a copping out, a giving up.

He feared that would completely destroy his credibility for the remainder of his life, and together with it, all the principles he had fought for. He would live the rest of his life embarrassed, in shame. Others would never understand why he would do such a thing.

From his current position, he could only be the King, or nothing at all.

2.7 Amaratren’s Solution

Amaratren was therefore stuck between a rock and a hard place. He could only assume absolute power to himself, but at the same time, he knew it was a matter of time before those around him would start to betray him, and everything would fall apart. There were no solutions. It was a lose-lose situation.

And so he decided that he didn’t want to be around waiting long enough for that to happen.

In the morning of the next battle, Amaratren unexpectedly mounted one of his war beasts, and drove by himself straight towards the enemy. Instead of staying back and directing the battle, he went himself, and on his own.
He did give the order for his troops to advance, as usual. But he did this only after already placing himself in motion first. Since the beasts weren’t particularly fast and took a little while to reach significant speed during the charge, Amaratren in this way ensured he would arrive early, on his own, to the enemy. This also resulted in the element of surprise and terror for the enemy, this time, was reduced, since they’d see a lone beast first, and would have a few moments to manoeuvre and prepare for the charge.

Amaratren had decided to end his life, in the most honourable manner he could think of. The idea was to give the impression he was riding the “wave” of success, and he’d take the liberty to charge the enemy on his own this one time. But in reality, he would then place himself in a position of vulnerability, pretend to lose balance or be harmed, and allow the enemy troops to end his life.

This was something he decided to himself alone. Also, he would have to improvise, since he couldn’t simply talk to the enemy to arrange for his killing. He was still invested in his own society, in the outcome of the war, which was still ongoing. Had he tried to arrange with anyone, particularly with an enemy, to have himself killed on purpose, that would have all the ideology and purpose of the war fall apart instantly. He didn’t want to tell anyone he wanted to die. He wanted to keep his image in the eyes of others. He wanted to make it look purely like an accident. His aura of invincibility and genius needed to remain intact, even after he was gone. Not only would he not lose anything, but perhaps his martyrdom could help keep the spirit of his own intact after he’d gone. This was his way of not feeling he was copping out.

However, Amaratren wasn’t particularly adept at improvisation – acting without planning. Despite his intentions, his actions looked uncharacteristic from the get-go. Overnight, the fearless and shrewd leader, who left nothing to chance, suddenly decided to charge the enemy by himself, jumping and screaming, forfeiting the element of surprise in the process. This alone looked completely unrealistic, if not surreal, to others. No one could understand what was going on. It had never happened. Even his own troops took a moment to realize what was happening.
This moment of surprise, between Amaratren charging, and his troops commencing their own charge, contributed for Amaratren to go much further ahead than the rest of his army. This worked against him rather than for him. Because the world seemed to stop, now it seemed that all attentions were on him, as he ran down the slope all by himself.

2.8 The End

Those in the village below saw a lone beast heading towards them, with a single rider on top of it. While scared and terrified, because they were expecting an attack, they were more or less prepared. Also, seeing a lone man charging them shouting and screaming, had not so much an effect of intimidation, as it had of surprise and confusion. But they rallied and prepared as best they could to face the beast with their spears.

Amaratren arrives next to the ones defending, and as he does so, all the while still screaming and shouting, he subtly signals his beast to come completely to an halt as he meets them. As he does this they are quickly surrounded by a mob of spear-wielding men from all sides, who are attempting to pierce the creature but without much success, as they can’t seem to harm it while in its “puffed up” state. However, because the animal is not very fast, it’s now as if stuck between all the spears, and rendered immobile, not being able to move forward or back.

Amaratren knows this, of course. He’s has done so on purpose, to look trapped by the enemy.

As his army is riding a little behind him, Amaratren acts as if he’s unexpectedly gotten stuck by the enemy, appearing to trying frantically to move forward or back, all the while screaming and shouting. He’s doing this on purpose, acting While he’s making these wild forwards and backwards motions, he then takes the moment to leap out from the creature, again on purpose, pretending that he’s fallen by accident or was knocked down, throwing himself against the sea of enemy spears.

But in his fall he doesn’t meet any of the sharp ends of the spears. He simply falls to the ground, next to the creature, without major harm.

The enemy (as well as his own army, still riding some distance in the back) is caught by surprise by whole the situation in itself. They have never seen any of this before. Also, it might not have been entirely obvious, but there was something off about the whole situation. The actions of the rider didn’t really match what was going on; there was no reason for him to fall; and there was no reason for him to want to charge them to begin with.

Amaratren stands up from the ground, with sand all over him, but realizing he’s just fine. For a fraction of a second, the enemy soldiers just stand there, completely still, mouths open, in a moment that can only be described by the word “awkward”.

Amaratren had gotten this far, he can’t stop now. His army is charging down the slope, watching everything and not really understanding what is happening, but instinctively running towards their leader to help him.

So Amaratren needs to do something. What he does, is to lunge forward in a menacing posture against the spears of the enemy, still shouting and screaming. As he does so, in the middle of what was, after all, war, and with an army coming, the soldiers are pressed into defending themselves, and they pierce him. Finally Amaratren’s life is ended.
The creature has been immobile for a few instants, and without a rider and direction, begins to lose its puffed up state. All the spears together manage to knock it over, and as it’s on the ground and partially deflated, they are now more easily able to pierce it and take its life. Its body is lying on the floor next to Amaratren, flat and deflated, like an old car tire.

2.9 Peace

That battle was still won, despite Amaratren’s loss. But his death was by far the most significant event, because it changing the nature of the conflict.

This was a small-scale, simple, routine attack on a small isolated village, which was done solely for the purposes of formally taking it as part of the territory and eliminate any resistance. It was so small, in fact, that one could argue if it needed to happen at all, or, if Amaratren himself had to be there to lead his troops. In fact, it had been Amaratren to, out of the blue, suddenly and unexpectedly, suggest enthusiastically to his generals to perform this attack, with the objective of “allowing his tired army an easier fight”.

Amaratren was interested in having a battle where there would be zero risk, with no real stakes on the line, so he could carry out his personal plan without putting any of the strategic efforts of the war in risk. Even with him dying, there was little risk that his troops would lose – or, even if they did, that such loss would affect the outcome of the conflict in any meaningful way. He wanted to look like that it would be a battle with little risk, as if to “unwind” and boost the troop’s morale, so he could, by himself, ride down with his own troops, to go along with that theme.

However, all of this was right away perceived by his own peers with confusion. It struck them as odd. Amaratren never wasted time or energy, he never did anything “for sport”. For him to have this idea out of the blue was very peculiar, very strange. However they didn’t have any reasons to doubt him at that point, so they gave him the benefit of the doubt and went along.

Then, there was the battle itself, and the circumstances he died in. Amaratren had covered his high-ranking general outfit with a generic soldier’s garb, to appear less distinctive. He had charged forward alone, screaming and shouting, without any composure or seriousness. The whole situation about him plunging into the enemy, harmlessly, and the circumstances where he lost his life, were seen as bizarre, by both sides alike.

Amaratren’ death was by no means perceived as he had intended. It wasn’t seen as an honourable, a casual misfortune. There was a clear perception that something was not right about the situation, although no one could actually lay a finger on what it was exactly. But everyone, more or less explicitly, speculated about it.

For some, particularly to those closer to him and that knew him, it was evident that he wanted to end his life, but the question was, why? What would have happened for him to overnight suddenly decide to do that? Had he plan that all along? Had some kind of occurrence, perhaps a disease, some bug biting him, made him lose his mind? Or, ff he had always been this unstable all along, how did he managed to deceive everyone?

Whatever the possibilities, none were good. Either Amaratren was crazy to begin with and no had noticed it, and therefore everyone, including his own country, were deceived by him; or he was afflicted by some sort of unknown malady. Or, perhaps worse, he wanted to abandon the war but was afraid to do so openly to his men, and so he took the easy way out.

The only certainty was that the situation was a complete shock to everyone, and did not match the idea others had of him. This left his remaining leaders in a state of wondering. If Amaratren was not who he seemed to be, then what was the whole purpose of the war, and how far they had been wrong? This wasn’t enough for them to forfeit the territories conquered thus far. They still defended the idea of expanding and taking control of the new lands. But their primary motivation, impulse, drive, which was Amaratren’s leadership and enthusiasm, evaporated overnight. And deep down they too were left in a state of confusion and uncertainty.

Also, news quickly spread that one of the war beasts had been defeated for the first time. Soon there was now an idea for a strategy to fight them, which was to try to surround and pin down each one, so it could be possible to attack the rider. The creatures had such a close bond with their riders, that without direction they would simply stand still or directionless, unable to act on their own, and would quickly begin to deflate. They were also not very agile. If they were somehow make to stop and surrounded, it would be difficult for them to get themselves in motion again.

Mind you, this wasn’t much of an effective strategy. It was based in a Amaratren’s situation, which wasn’t actually “real”. Riders were still mounted on very large creatures and therefore difficult to reach. Being faster than men on foot, a large mass of grouped creatures charging would still be nearly impossible to stop, and would easily trample anyone who came close. This tactic would be something only possible with luck, on occasion, if by any chance during the battle one of the creatures became isolated from the rest.

But the idea still had aspects of truth. Amaratren knew the beasts’s difficulty in moving from a standing position if it was challenged. That was their weakness. This is why he had his own creature come to a complete halt next to an enemy, because it would look realistic.

The most important thing, was the fact that there was some idea of a strategy, at all, on how to deal with the beasts, from the enemy. That in itself was an improvement. There was some hope now. It was better than just being terrified, having no idea on how to deal with them, and seeing defeat as inevitable.

The beasts still retained their fearsome reputation intact, but they were no longer seen as 100% invincible anymore. The X factor was lost. The enemy lands, still sizable, now were in less in a situation that was complete desperation, and instead, now had a small slither of hope. They felt they could fight – or at least try.

Much like the Amaratren’ beast itself, the bloated image of the war machine had now deflated, or was beginning to. The aura of total invincibility somewhat dissipated, having their enemies the beginnings of an idea on how to deal with them. Amaratren’s desire to leave his country’s armies in good hands, inadvertently gifted the enemy the possibility to spot the vulnerabilities of the beasts, and see beyond their image of invincibility. And this was key.

In this climate of change and uncertainty, a few battles ensued, but in a short while, peace was made with the territories that remained. Even if they still retained the edge, Amaratren’s leaders knew that from now on, the more they would go into battle, the more they would give the enemies an opportunity to learn how to fight the beasts, and further lose their aura of power and might. They were also without leadership, and they were interested in keeping and retaining what sense of power they still had, holding to the territories they had conquered.

Perception of power was important. When a warlike leader was/is seen as weak or vulnerable, this can often lead to unrest, and maybe revolt. The conquered peoples could try to reclaim their original sovereignty, if they felt they could. So the leaders decided it was preferable to keep the newly conquered territories as they were, rather than risking exposing themselves further.

So the war ended more or less at that point.

The country was divided into a few main territories, each managed by one of the families, and ruled by a King chosen among them. While some internal disputes for power would break out here and there, the country remained as such for quite some time, for that period of history at least.

Amaratren, at least, had succeeded in his objective in uniting much of the land and spreading its civilization’s culture.

Part III. Clarification and Healing

3.1 Trauma

This memory represents the moment in Amelia’s journey as a spiritual being, when there was a shift on a spiritual level from a focus in external objectives, into the nature of people. There was the realization that the spiritual self wasn’t comfortable dealing with the nature of people, in an emotional and close sense, if you will.

Ever since, Amelia, as a Soul, has been exploring more closely the relationships between her and others, again in more of an emotional sense, as opposed to roles where she would affect reality in a larger scale but in a more distant and impersonal way. This corresponds to the stage she had been until now.

As Amelia has been contemplating in her current life the possibility of doing something in a larger scale, she has been reconnecting with memories of doing just that. Hence this memory being addressed in this reading. This is not to say that “doing things in a larger scale” implies conquering the world! It just means an activity or role which affects not only her closer circles of family and friends, but in a way that services others beyond that.

The memory of Amaratren is a particularly difficult, traumatic one. It was so painful and embarrassing, that it was as if discarded, shunned away, forgotten, as if it never existed. For one, because it’s fundamentally a memory of shame and ridicule (it was felt like it). It made the spiritual self feel the same as others did as it left them: that everything was foolishly thrown away, for no reason, embarrassingly and shamefully. The intention was to keep honour and reputation, however precisely the opposite happened.

Secondly, the scale of it was just so large. We are talking about a whole planet, which for all effects and purposes, much like Earth is today, would be the whole world, the whole Universe, the only reality these individuals would know. The scale of the undertaking, and the stakes involved, were simply enormous. They were all that existed. And as such, its outcome affected Amelia’s spirit by the same dimension.

So what Amaratren did, was to blame his inability in reading people, and being loved by others, and then he decided, as a Soul, to train, practice, explore, how to be in relationship with others, how to be liked. He blamed the whole experience in his inability, his lack of preparation. The pain of failure was also so overbearing, so difficult to accept, that it was, literally, rejected. Any difficulty by Amelia in conceiving herself as capable of doing any activity, for example of being in spiritual service to others, is because on a spiritual level she had completely blocked it within her.

By bringing forward this memory, we gamble. We run the risk of Amelia simply not relating to Amaratren at all, to his story, and completely rejecting it.

However, it was extremely important for us to do so, because it is part of the process of facing the memory to healing it, and to help Amelia opening up once again to the notion of performing working on a broader scale – as it is her own desire at this point.

3.2 Patterns

We’ll offer a brief description of a few emotional/spiritual patterns within Amelia related with the memory, which might manifest in her life today. Even when a memory was blocked and shut down on a spiritual level, at the same time a memory can only ever be dormant, numb. But it will still affect the existence of the being, everywhere and anywhere it goes, until it is healed. Amelia’s personal realization of any such patterns, “connecting the dots” so to speak, will be a contribution to that process.

3.2.1 Blockage

The first aspect of this memory, as we’ve mentioned, is a blockage related to the self-canceling of a memory which was extremely intense and horribly painful. The blockage relates with difficulty acting in the world, and with lack of energy. It also relates with trouble making decisions, and with the flowing (or not flowing) of creativity and ingenuity. It seems like ideas are not there, they do not flow. This block is also related with the distancing from the essence of the self. Which in turn, is also related with renouncing this memory – and similar memories – i.e. past actions and achievements by the self.

There is also one other aspect to consider about this, and that’s the energetic nature of the self. Your energy is naturally adept and seeing all, and particularly, about foresight. You can handle and use a very large amount of information to understand the reality of any situation, and predict or visualize potentials of what might happen. Again, it’s the planning aspect of the Soul. But this energy at the moment is being compressed.

Imagine you have your bedroom in a house. Within this room you’re meant to have the bedroom furniture you’ve chosen for yourself: your bed, wardrobe, maybe a nightstand or two, lamps, maybe a dresser with drawers, maybe something else. And imagine, that you, Amelia, have a lot of furniture, or a big-sized furniture – like your energy. You have an enormous bed. You have an enormous dresser. You have huge lamps that go all the way to the ceiling. You have a majestic wardrobe. And your bedroom is quite spacious, and is actually capable to hold all this furniture comfortably, and still feel open, airy, cosy, comfortable.

Now, imagine that someone now decides that in your bedroom, you now have to keep your children’s bedroom furniture, some of the living room furniture, and also, the some of the things stored in the attic as well. Perhaps you could store many of these things within the space of your spacious bedroom. Perhaps you could keep your original bedroom furniture tucked to the side, in the corner, while the other furniture is on the remaining space. But, what would happen to all your furniture? It would be stacked, clumped together, on top of each other, almost in an impractical manner, that it wouldn’t allow you to use it at all.

This analogy is meant to represent, that by allowing too many external things into your energy and space, and many obligations and responsibilities towards others, you do not leave much room to your own energy. And so your natural energy becomes compressed, as if in a tight space – and it clogs. So there is a sensation of confusion, of saturation, of lack of flowing, and lack of clarity. The energy is stuck.

Hence, the importance of learning how to allow space and time for yourself. It will allow your own energy to unravel, if you will, to loosen up, in a manner that you will slowly begin to use it in a practical manner.

3.2.2 Groundhog Day

It is curious Amelia has mentioned the “Groundhog Day” type of experience, i.e. the constant repetition of the same things day after day, in a loop, without change, even as time ticks forward. Because this is not only about a repetition of dull, less meaningful life. It has a larger scope.

The memory is also one of interruption. Amaratren was the figure at the forefront of the greatest achievement of his day. One could argue he was the greatest leader that ever lived in that planet. However, he did not stick around to reap the rewards, the fruit of his labour. He exited early, enjoying nothing of it.

This is the situation where the spiritual being goes through a great challenge, a grand experience, all the trouble and hardship, and in the end he does indeed bring his labour into fruition. He has achieved what he had set out to do. He more or less completed the challenge. He also accumulated the experience, the know-how, the reputation, and the visibility. Now he could more or less sit back, enjoy his earnings, and teach. He has earned it. However, he instead throws it all away, ending the experience early, and denying himself the enjoyment of the fruits of his labour.

The acknowledgement and validation by others are part of the experience of the Soul. It is an inherent part of experience. When an experience it is complete, a challenge is surpassed, the Soul has learned much, and then it is ready to pass on this knowledge to others, without the burden or obligation to prove itself again, of having to go through through the same ordeal again. Been there, done that.

These “fruits”, this validation, are not in the sense that the ego wants to call itself the greatest, it wants to draw the attention of others to itself. Rather, in the sense that allows the Soul to be seen by others for what it really is. It is a direct consequence of having gone through a practical experience and learned from it. It is mastery. Which in turn, it is what allows the Soul to be in a position where it can teach others, or be recognized as knowledgeable in its field of expertise.

From the Soul’s perspective, everything is known, but not everything has been experienced. Theory is different from practice. Experience is the greatest teacher there is. The external validation resulting from experience, while not always achieved right away, immediately, from others, is nevertheless due. It is an intrinsic part of the experience cycle. Without it, the cycle is not complete, and the Soul is not satisfied, satiated.

So what happens, is that the spiritual being has gone through all of the experience, so it feels no necessity to do it again. But at the same time, for some reason, it denied itself the appropriate reaping of the reward, so it remains unsatisfied. So now we have a catch-22. The spiritual being is stuck in the past, in the memory, trying to go back to the experience, wanting to, maybe, re-do it, or going back to the moment when the mistake of denying validation was made – in order to reach the intended, and rightful, satisfaction.

While this is just one memory, there’s definitely a pattern, not just in this life but in the many before it, to terminate experiences early, denying oneself the just and rightful, abundant, rewards, and fulfilment. This in turn causes the spiritual self to repeatedly and continually be starved: of acceptance, of enjoyment, of nurturing, or validation, of respect. Basically of everything and anything that was rightful and due.

Amelia will be extremely starved for fun and enjoyment. Which is why it is of paramount importance she allows herself enjoyment, and TLC, regardless of norms, responsibilities, or the opinion of others.

Amelia will also have the tendency to get emotionally stuck in situations of the past, namely those where she might have been rejected, invalidated, or when things that didn’t go so well, outcomes were not as she expected, and she was perceived to have failed. Amelia’s perceived “failures”, even the very minor ones, where she might have been criticized or judged, will each feel literally like the end of the world. She will mull over all of them even after many years have gone by. This is almost an inevitable, repetitive, circular, where she can’t seem to help herself. This is because of this pattern, and of this memory.

This will lead to a circular habit, where more and more of one’s spiritual energy, focus, attention, gets stuck in the past, leaving less and less space for new things to appear. So in practice, Groundhog Day is everyday. Everything just stays the same, because the spiritual/emotional self has a very hard time moving forward.

At the very core of this pattern, lies the perspectives/beliefs/experiences that in some way have caused the self to shut down and deny itself its own fulfilment. The fundamental lesson in this regard, is the allowance for merit to come back to the self, so the self can be satiated. The validation that results from experience is due, and never lost – it can only ever be blocked by the self, which is precisely what’s been happening right now. The bringing forth and healing of this memory in this reading, as well as the continuing clarifications we’re providing, are meant to assist, and are in themselves a progress towards this.

3.3.3 Only First Part is Exciting

This is also a pattern where experiences are cut midway, given up, so they don’t get to complete, and closure is never reached. The enjoyment ‘phase’, if you will, the reaping of the reward, is never allowed.

The memory translates to enjoying the natural high energy and excitement of the early parts of life. The stage when there are objectives to fulfil, but “critical mass” hasn’t been reached yet, and there’s still some uncertainty is in the air. But, once those objectives are indeed reached, suddenly a big void appears, of lack of purpose, of lack of direction. This relates closely to the previous two points, as it’s also a reason for the sensation of blockage.

Amelia reaching her current point in her life is almost like a mirror of this situation: there were clear objectives during the early stage of her life, of building a family, a home, and so forth; but now that those objectives are achieved, there is a certain degree of emptiness, lack of direction. It’s like there’s only energy recognized in the young, “exciting” part of life, when there are things far in the horizon to be reached; but once they are, existence suddenly might be felt as dull and uninteresting. So this stage is often overlooked, dismissed, not acknowledged, if not even, bypassed entirely. This is also an echo of the memory. The moment his shift in consciousness happened, Amaratren was engulfed in a big void, where he felt uncomfortable.

One possibility that was open for the future of Amaratren, was for him to step down. It was what he really wanted to do “in his heart”, if you will. To spend, in the long-term, the rest of his life after the war with his reputation intact, and in advisory and overseeing roles, but detached from actual ruling. This was because his broader spiritual objective had been reached: the spreading of culture and coming together of peoples.
This would, in fact, be strange, weird for others, that the greatest and most successful leader that they’ve ever known, would abdicate power. But the truth was, he was above them all. He was loved by the people. He could do whatever he liked from then on. He had nothing else to prove. There was nothing and no one above him that would have the nerve to tell him he knew better.

If after the war had he calmly sat down and simply said “I’ve been considering this for a very long time, and I feel my lifetime goal has been reached. I’ve given our people the righteous power it deserved. I no longer feel I have energy to rule, which would be unfair to our people. I will remain here at your disposal, but as I promised, I will give you the power of ruling, and you can do as you wish.”, this would be something that would be relatively reasonable. No one would object, and no one would dare stand against him, precisely because of his reputation. But he would need a degree of detachment to do this.

The problem was that Amaratren was too deeply attached to the opinions of others about him, to his own sense of reputation, and to the success, the outcome, of his mission. He also felt in complete panic and with a high degree of tension, because of the feeling that he was outside of his depth, a fish out of water. He didn’t give himself enough time and space to think things through. And so it was, that the greatest, most meticulous planner that world had ever seen, succumbed to the rashest of decisions.

3.3.4 Shame

Amelia lives with a sense of inherent shame about herself. There is a constant sensation that if one thing faulty about herself is discovered by others, her world is completely doomed thereafter, and she goes from faultless to absolutely worthless.

There might be a transfer of this sensation to something specific. She might have a part of her body, or her body in itself, that she deems as faulty; she might have made a choice in the past that is considered completely wrong and shameful; she might think of some habit she does currently as shameful. And she will do her best to completely conceal any of these things. She might be always worried tying to conceal things about herself, or herself, trying to go unnoticed whenever she goes. There’s a very, extremely, strong dependence of the opinions of others over her. It may look like the world is out to get her.

This is, of course, an echo of the memory here addressed. The experience of throwing everything away by a rash decision, and particularly in the manner that it happened, left a very large scar in Amelia’s spiritual tissue, one the size of the world.

This was further intensified by the sensation, after passing away, on a spiritual level, by Amaratren, that he had completely failed in the broader objectives of which he was a part of. He blamed it, mostly, on him not being able to handle people, of others not loving him. Thus, the intense sensation to please others at all times, to gain their favour and trust, also associated with the scar of pain and shame.

However, we need to offer the information that Amaratren failed at nothing.

3.3 Truth

Amaratren succeeded in everything he had planned and set out to do. He managed to take the world by storm and conquer nearly all of it, until there would be not much else to conquer. He did succeed healing the deep fear and sense of injustice born by his people in a great catharsis, and also, in spreading his country’s culture. This also had the significant long-term effect of bringing closer together peoples that previously saw each other simply as savages, as sub-human individuals, not worth existing or respecting.

Yes, the consciousness of the planet was not left perfect. The world did not see the last of war. And yes, his personal image suffered. His reputation in the eyes of others was shattered.

But he did not fail. There was nothing better he could have made as far as his spiritual goals went.

He was not expected to take a leadership role, and that was the reason, in fact, why he didn’t want to do so in the first place. He though that his loss of reputation would damage everything. But it didn’t.

Amaratren hampered himself because he did not know how to deal with the intrinsic nature of people, of emotions, and of love. He panicked as he realized he knew nearly nothing about it, and he had no power over it, contrary to everything else. But he has learned since. Since this time, he’s learned that Love is the energy that binds all things and all beings.

In fact, he had realized it instantly the moment he knew that it was the people, not any tool or instrument, that ultimately mattered. It was, and it had always been all along, about the people, and not about Kings, not about territories, neither about power, courage, or might.

That precise moment when he realized this, was, in fact, his spiritual transition from 3D to 4D: from war, to peace. From things, to people. From power, to love.

What he thought was his fall, was in fact, his ascension.

That is not all. Deep down, by shifting his focus from things to people, in that very moment, he intrinsically became resistant, unwilling, discouraged by, the very idea of taking lives.

This was not completely obvious to him. It was an emotional, spiritual thing. Had he chosen to continue to wage war, this would had become increasingly obvious. He would feel worse and worse for every life taken, from that point forward. He knew this intuitively, and this is the core reason why he felt he had no options, no exits, nowhere to go. From his position be could only be a King, the King everyone expected him to be. But, not only did not want any more struggle for power, but he didn’t even want to proceed with the war itself. He wanted out of the situation entirely.

This is the deepest and most important reason why he truly panicked in that night, and why he felt the absolute urge to put an halt to the situation immediately. He didn’t want to continue the war, he didn’t want to take any more lives – he, precisely the one who had the idea, the leading figure, the torchbearer.

His spontaneous, seemingly panicked decision, which lead to the unusual circumstances of his passing, indirectly resulted, almost immediately, in the ending of the war itself.

So you see, perhaps his ending was not so silly after all. Perhaps there was purpose to what he did, even if himself didn’t understand it at the time. His intentions were fulfilled. The war ended.

His experience the night before his passing was extremely intense for him. He was overwhelmed by it, even if he didn’t completely realize its scope. As I’m sure you can understand, a SPIRITUAL GRADUATION can sometimes result in effects, decisions, and events in Souled beings, which might not be completely understood by the ones observing.

But what looks crazy to some, may sometimes be the deepest, most wise.

We look at Amaratren’ passing, not with disappointment, not with shame, not with ridicule. But with tenderness. The tenderness of who knows what’s going on. And, maybe, perhaps, with a little bit of a smile.

Amaratren graduation into 4D was not affected by him not realizing it, nor by him shunning his own memory. He simply was marked so much by the experience, with such a deep sensation of shame and failure, that even as he passed to the spiritual realms he didn’t understand what had happened to him. He thought he had to fix himself by understanding better people, his relationship with them, and love. But he has done so all the while operating in the 4D level of consciousness all along, ever since.

And now, here you are.

3.4 Closing

Amelia is now reaching a new phase, not only in this one life, but a whole new age in her spiritual evolution.
As Amaratren she made the shift in consciousness from things to people, from war to peace. Since then, Amelia as a spiritual being has been exploring relationships, emotions, and love, closely. Now, this stage also is coming to a close.

The next stage is now about merging combining the two. It’s about Amelia tapping into her natural ability to oversee, to process and know a large amount of information about reality, and to plan, possibly in a scale that goes beyond her closer connections and relationships; and combining it, with her more “recent” (in a relative, long-term sense) experience with people themselves, and with their emotional and spiritual nature. Now is the time to apply both of them. This is why she now desires to be of service to others.

There might be a sensation that by being 50 you’ll no longer will have the time or opportunity to anything significant or meaningful, in such terms. However we’d like to offer further clarification about this.

Amelia naturally deals with a huge amount of information. A testament to this is this reading itself, much longer in comparison to the average of my other readings. As she begins to learn information about other realms, other planes, other planets, other experiences, and so forth, her interest in these matters is akin to having lived inside the house’s four walls for 50 years, and only now exploring with curiosity what’s “out there”, finding out you loved to travel all along, and that you just never did so up until this point.

So part of your spiritual tasks – again, if you choose to accept them – is, in some way, to explore and understand, and register what’s “out there”. You are clearly aligned for this, as it’s something you can clearly connect and understand.

Amelia will have the feeling that there are mountains to climb, a huge amount of effort and training, before she could be of any meaningful purpose to others. This will further press within her on the sensation that it’s “too late”, that she won’t possibly be in time to be of practical use. The effort/work waiting her looks insurmountable for her.

The sensation that there’s too much to do, closely relates with Amelia’s affinity with dealing with a lot of energy. As a natural by-product of that, she assumes anything she does will have to be a lot, in a large scale. Also, because of the memory of Amaratren, she feels credibility was forever thrown away, and that she must prove herself to others. Which in common human terms usually means presenting others with a lot of effort, with a lot of visible work done, in order to have credibility.

However, you do not have to reinvent the wheel.

You do not have to start everything from scratch, in order to get things done. Sometimes the gift is not a “transcendental” ability, but having a vision of what can be done with the resources already available, and the open mind to use them. Much like Dolores did, such as Alexander the Great did, and such as Amaratren did. They didn’t use particularly astounding gifts. Their gift was having an open mind, a clear vision, and allowing themselves to be guided, using the resources at their disposal, and using resources that had been left to them by others.

You will find, should you choose to, that to be in service to Spirit, is normal, spontaneous, naturally occurring – as opposed to trying really hard to push against a wall. All you have to do is to ask yourself what is it that you want to do next, what is it that you want to explore or try out. And then do it. As you do so, we’ll be with you at all times to guide you.

If ideas do not appear instantaneously, if they don’t appear overnight, do not worry. This is because of the stage you’re at right now, where you’re calmly unravel your own abilities, getting to know yourself and your own essence.
Believe us: there’s no shortage of opportunities for those who wish to work with Spirit. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

All you have to do is to ask.