Heart Ki

4 Things That are Pointless in Life

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A list of things that we may indulge in, and to which we may react emotionally, but that actually serve little purpose and just occupy energy, time and space of our short lifetimes.

1. Drama

A problem either has a solution, and you can do something about it, or you have to accept it as it is and move on. Sometimes it isn’t easy to see a clear solution to a problem, but that simply means relaxing, raising your mood, and allow your mind to wrap around the issue.

Drama is sharing and gossiping with friends whose opinions about someone else are pretty strong, but in reality are as clueless as you. Drama is not knowing how to handle something, and then feeding off of others who don’t really know either – so you don’t feel alone. Drama is going around in circles in a mud pool and pretending to be solving something. Drama is 100% useless. There is no useful drama whatsoever, at all.

Drama may be fun in a sense, but it’s just that: a diversion. Entertainment. A way to tingle your raw emotions, your insecurity, and your ego, to keep you flustered and distracted. Enjoy drama all you want, but be detached from it. Know it’s simply loud noises and flashing bright lights, with no real substance.

Like creativity, all inspired solutions come from a still, relaxed, and joyful mind. Drama does the opposite: it stirs the waters and raises all the sand in the bottom. When you have to handle something that is personally meaningful to you, the less drama you indulge in, the better.

2. Competition, Comparison

You may argue that competition among companies is beneficial to the consumer. To a point, in practical terms, I agree. Coming in contact with a different perspective always puts your own vision in… perspective. However, personal competition is absolutely unnecessary. In that sense, there is no such thing as ‘healthy’ competition.

Wanting the best for yourself is not ‘being competitive’. Everyone wants the best to oneself. What is perceived as being the best thing varies along each person’s path, spiritual and otherwise. Being competitive, however, is trying to have the best for me, while believing that such a thing (whatever it is) is limited, there isn’t enough to go around. So now I’m in direct competition with my neighbor, which might  get there first, or fare better than me, and steal the limited stuff.

You came here on Earth with a very specific set of abilities and talents that are completely unique. Each person is absolutely unique. If you allow yourself to walk your own shoes and life path (and this is a big if), that which you do will be unique. That which will match you perfectly will be absolutely unique. Your relationship(s) that match you perfectly will be unique.

Even if you engage in a business, if that business comes forth from your inner unique Essence, all competition that you may perceive will essentially be an illusion – or simply a way to improve and perfect your business core model and your expertise – because the service or product you’ll offer is unique in itself, or offered in an unique way, that no one else will be able to replicate.

Even if there are 10 other persons in your street selling the same thing you’re selling, the unique way you deliver your services or make your product will necessarily find a niche for you. If you are a healer, doesn’t matter how many other healers perform a therapy with the same name: you will attract the people who will need to receive that therapy from you. The trick is always to follow inner discernment and nothing else. Whatever you’re being called to, is the right thing. The calling is the marker. It’s the arrow that points to the path, and you simply have to follow it.

There will be no reason whatsoever to compete with anyone. There is no-one to appease to, no-one to convince, no-one to rise up to. There will be no need to look sideways to the neighbor’s grass. There will be no need to comparison – although our human self loves to check itself for progress by doing it. But this is drama. In absolute terms, if you’re aligned with your uniqueness, you find your own sweet spot.

3. Promises, Resolutions

In your personal life you are absolutely free to deal with things by whichever way it works for you. Whatever floats your boat. That is, in fact, the lesson: you are your own experiment. However, when you make a “resolution” that is external, this creates stress. You’re putting yourself in a cage that you will eventually want to come out of. There is a separation between your mental process and your actual reality.

“I won’t eat meat” (but you may need to). “I won’t eat chocolate” (but you may actually love it and need it to feel happy). “I won’t watch T.V.” (but sometimes you’d like it to unwind). “I’ll save money instead of buying this [___] that I wanted” (but you may needed a little pampering at that time).

Resolutions may be appropriate if you as a whole feel the same way about them. This is often the case when something “struck a chord” within you. The resulting commitment is less of a resolution and more of a shift in paradigm. But if one side of you is “determined” to do something, but at the expense of another side which is being omitted or coerced, there is unbalance.

A way to handle this is by treating everything in life as temporary. Everything is an experiment, everything is dynamic. Now I eat chocolate, now I don’t. No I pamper myself with this “toy”, now I save money. No rules. Deciding as you go.

Life is less about rules and more about finding balance. Analyzing your own impulses, and discerning from desires that are unbalanced from wishes that are appropriate and healthy, can be challenging. But it comes with practice. Doing so allows you to learn lessons by watching results in yourself, how things work for you. You take responsibility for what you rather than externalizing your behavior in external rules.

4. Judgement

A preference is when you like something and dislike another. A judgement is labeling something as “right” or “wrong” according to a specific set of values. You are, of course, making a kind of “judgement” when assessing if a situation is good for you, if you like it.  But by judgement I mean the prejudice, the labeling of something or someone as intrinsically wrong.

You may react strongly to something you perceive is negative and inappropriate to you, insofar that it allows you to cleanly detach and liberate from a situation. You are entitled to reject and protect yourself from situations and people that by your preferences you do not wish to experience or engage with.

But a judgement of value is destructive, as it neglects the whole portion of the truth. You don’t know what you would do if you were in the other person’s shoes. You don’t know if the thing that is destructive to you, is needed by someone else, or what benefits it brings. A judgement is made from a partial belief, a belief of separation, and all actions based upon this belief will hurt both you and the other person.

If you find yourself having a peeve against some element in your current reality, it’s actually a part of your own belief systems that calls for attention.

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