Heartki

Heart Ki

Akashic Records Reading: Tuhjk, “The Great One”

The following is a transcription of a reading of the Akashic records, originally performed to a client. All references to the person's identity were replaced with a fictional alias. For the purposes of this publication some portions of the original reading may have been rephrased, edited out, or added to, but no changes were made that would alter the original meaning. For more about readings please see: Akashic Records Readings.

the great spot of Jupiter

Jupiter’s Great Red Spot taken by Voyager 1. Credit: NASA/JPL, digital processing by Björn Jónsson

The Planet and the Ships

I see the surface of a planet. My point of view is just above the atmosphere, not far from the surface, as if I’m very high in altitude or in orbit. I can see the darkness of space and stars, and also the curvature of the planet’s horizon in the distance.

The surface of this planet, as seen from above, is composed by long “curves” and long “waves” in different tones of blue and brown. A stretch of dark blue is surrounded by another stretch of slightly lighter blue. The image (above) is a photograph of the surface of Jupiter, and it’s the closest comparison with the “curves” I see. However Jupiter is a gas giant planet, while the planet’s surface I see is solid ground, and the planet’s size is closer in scale to Earth.

I now pan my view to the left. As I do, I can now see the planet’s sun, or star, shining brightly. I feel the star may be relatively close to the planet, compared to the distance of the Earth to the Sun. I now notice small ships flying, at the level of my point of view.

These ships resemble the shuttles in “Star Trek”. They are small and have a simple, boxy, rectangular shape, which doesn’t look very aerodynamic, and a large wide transparent window in the front, from where the pilot can see forward, and through which he can be seen from the outside.

These craft are “buzzing around”, with the overall feel of being “busy”.

The Age of Flight

There are no other artificial objects in space – such as, for example, space stations, or larger ships. All that exists are these smaller ships. I feel that their purpose is primarily to perform readings of atmospheric parameters, electromagnetics, air pressure, things of that nature, from high altitude. Unlike our satellites today, they are piloted manually. Each craft either has one pilot, or a pilot plus an engineer/scientist. Occasionally these craft are also used to transport people or items from one point of the planet to the other, and to perform scientific experiments.

While it might sound this civilization was reaching the age of space exploration, in reality their technological stage would be equivalent to the beginning of the age of flight on Earth, when the first airplanes began to be developed and used, in the beginning of our XX century. This planet had a relatively thin atmosphere, and relatively weak gravity. What they discovered was that, by applying rocket-like propulsion in a ground vehicle downward, vertically towards the ground, they could easily make it fly across the air. The key for their ability to fly was therefore developing the equivalent of rocket propulsion – more than discovering an aerodynamic bird-like shape for the vehicles, like on Earth. So at this point, flying vehicles were approximate to their ground vehicles, they were very boxy and square, since there wasn’t as much need to decrease air resistance or oppose gravity.

Low air resistance, coupled with low gravity, meant that very quickly they discovered that, with little effort or technological advancement, they could bring flying vehicles to very high altitudes and even outside the planet’s atmosphere, close to outer space.

So at this specific point in time, much like when airplanes began to be used on Earth, there’s a “vibe” about these flying ships that is somewhat experimental. There isn’t a lot of history using them, but there was a lot of curiosity and excitement. Suddenly the civilization could travel almost to space, which almost anyone had ever done before, at least not this easily.

Most of the pilots, developers, and engineers involved in this context, were a little like inventors, intrepid explorers and daredevils, for the standards of their time. There was an energy of experimentation and exploration that was both exciting and naive. Everything was new, and to be explored.

The Pilot

When I inquire for Laura [the client, not her real name] in this context, I see a female pilot in one of the small ships.

The female pilot’s skin is smooth, almost shiny, dark blue in color. Her eyes are small, beady, very dark. She is very petite, with a round-ish face. She is smiling. The expression on her face reminds me of a child that wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force, and is now flying an airplane as an adult. A dream come true. She is piloting one of these crafts, alone, by herself, and she’s enjoying it fully. This is a good memory, a memory of exultation.

Around her head, where ‘hair’ would be, I see strips or “columns” of tied hair (or equivalent ?) each with a small, loose, larger round tip of hair at the end. Each of these strips of hair is relatively thick, and rises vertically from its base. Between the strips, in the head, there is empty space, smooth regular skin, without any hair.

This ‘hair style’, or arrangement, even for the standards of that civilization, culture, species, and time period, strikes me as being extremely masculine-like, very assertive, bold, radical. She is “all out”. This image, and the fact that she is female, is very significant. In more ways than one, she’s extremely, wildly, “avant-garde” for the cultural standards of her time.

As I ask for a name, In my mind I get something that put into words is: “Tuh-Tuhjk-Mar”. The middle “Tuhjk” is voiced with the sounds of “Too-hook”, and “Too-gee-k” simultaneously in the same word (as said in English accent), which would be complicated for us to voice in one word. This middle name is how she was most commonly known for.

When it comes to names, I usually state that whatever names and sounds I receive, may be both approximations of literal true names, and/or a symbolic representation of the energy of the being/person at that time. I do feel this is literally the actual name. I will address her as “Tuhjk” from this point forward.

Cultural Context

The civilization on this planet in many ways is not as varied and complex as on Earth. There aren’t many countries/territories with different cultures and customs. The society as a whole is more homogeneous, less fragmented and complex, compared to Earth’s.

The planet as a lot less, much more scarcely distributed, population. There’s far less completely liquid water (or equivalent liquid?) on the surface of the planet. Most of the surface is dry land. Instead of having rivers and large masses of oceans. the majority of water on the surface of the planet is as if “embedded” in the planet’s ground, fauna, flora, etc. I see as if the surface, as a whole, works as a large “sponge”, where there are places of more or less water concentration or humidity in the environment, instead of existing a clear separation between primarily dry parts and primarily running or liquid/ocean parts.

The energy of the culture of the peoples on the planet is primarily, and very strongly, one of calmness, stillness, smoothness. The individuals are calm, collected, cold and cool, in terms of mood – I see a parallel between the physical color of their skin and of planet, and their demeanor.

Individuals culturally foster a way of being that is harmonious, and that doesn’t create any problems, “bumps”, “hiccups”, that doesn’t “raise waves”, a mode of being that is in harmony with all others. On one hand this created a society that is mostly at peace and working towards common goals; on the other, there was relatively small room for individuality that goes against the current of things, that differs from the norm.
Any sort of difference is perceived very negatively in the eyes of others. There weren’t many laws against “difference”; but I do see that if you tried to “raise waves” a little bit, try to be a little unconventional, do things in a slightly different way in life – even if with the best of intentions, even with the smallest things – you’d immediately be “marked”.

If you were different in any way, your cultural stigma would be similar to someone on Earth who had served time in jail, committed crimes, did drugs heavily, etc. Individuals would be denied certain opportunities, and faced social exclusion, even for small things. And there was virtually no way to regain your reputation back. Once you were labeled as something different, you would always remain with that social stigma placed upon you.

This would be a cultural aspect only easily noticed by someone observing from outside, with a different perspective. To them this was simply a de facto norm.

Furthermore, the cultural roles of genders were extremely polarized. Men (or beings of the masculine genre) were expected to fulfill all roles related to research, innovation, exploration, bravery, tenacity, flexibility, intelligence, quick thinking, and agility of the mind. They were expected to handle all things new, exciting, potentially dangerous. Women, on the other hand, were expected to stick rigidly to all conservative norms possible.

I’m being shown the stereotypical image of the middle-aged, middle-eastern woman on Earth, completely covered in cloths, tasked solely with raising children, cooking, mending clothing, and tending to the household, and absolutely nothing else being (traditionally) expected from her.
The same way, women in this civilization were expected to handle all things that were monotonous, non-exciting, boring, mundane. They were expected to tend to all things that didn’t involved any novelty, instead merely required menial, perhaps repetitive, chorus tasks. It could be said all things “fun”, “excitement”, and intellectually demanding, were reserved for the male gender, since this was considered a pushing of boundaries by itself.

Again I don’t feel there were many punishments or strict laws against anyone diverging from these ideas or expectations. It wasn’t a particularly violent culture in terms of physical aggression or harsh punishment. But it was a culture that would heavily condemn and outcast those who veered off norm in a social sense.

Those who’d condemn the ways of being of another, would’t necessarily speak or act. They simply would not connect, engage, or give attention to, the person being that was being outcast. It was an emotional suppression, of unspoken words, disapproval, rejection, lack of connection.

Over time, this was a form that this society had found to prevent violent or criminal behavior. Any behavior that was unexpected, “wild”, or divergent, would immediately be frowned upon. The civilization had reached a collective non-explicit consensus to handle most dissent and possibly extreme behavior, in a non-violent way. It was a peaceful culture – but at a cost.

Because of this cultural trait, experiences for Souls incarnating in this culture were extremely polarized: you either lived a life were you were perfectly accepted by social standards; or you wanted to live completely free to do as you wanted, but then you’d risk living your entire life being emotionally rejected, mostly by yourself. Again, it was more of a social outlook than something written on a rulebook or in the law. It was a little like the “culture” of a company – an attribute which is not written anywhere, but exists in the minds, expectations, and in the way of relating to one another, of those working there.

The minute you gave so much a hint that you were possibly different, acted differently, thought differently, all eyes were immediately on you. There was an unspoken fear by everyone, that a source of difference could at any point act aggressively and bring ngative and destructive actions towards others. Such a person would always be a possible source of negativity, violence, and destruction – of “evil”. So the minute you did something different, you felt an immense pressure and weight coming from others, who were themselves fearful that dissonance would be source of harm in some way.

All things remotely different were immediately placed under the spotlight, watching your every move, waiting in anticipation if you were going to do something bad – even if you never once did so. It was the potential, the unknown factor, that scared others. The moment you were labeled as different, a heavy stigma was placed upon you, one you never really could disprove. It was as if a ‘disease’, a ‘flaw’ was discovered in you. The uncertainty would follow you forever to the eyes of others. Such was the hidden fear of this culture.

Someone who behaved differently wouldn’t necessarily be openly rejected. There were still jobs, activities, useful things that could be done. But the social connection to others would be next to gone. Suddenly the individual wouldn’t feel accepted, connected, or ‘loved’ by the rest. Such individual would receive far less energy and acceptance from others, and instead, it would incur in a vast weight of social pressure and anxiety caused by the anticipation of possible fear, due to the uncertainty. There would be a high degree of unspoken ostracisation, a “soft” form of cultural/social banishment.

Because of this, doing things differently wasn’t something most individuals were willing to do. There was a great fear of rocking the boat, doing something out of the norm. This fear was always present, in some way of another, in every individual. That fear, in fact, was the same fear that ostracized those who appeared differently.

The society, in many ways, was frozen in its own fear, from the inside out.

Individuals that would differ from the norm would be labeled as ‘outcasts’, ‘mavericks’, ‘daredevils’ – in a negative sense only.

Such as on Earth the Eskimo people have many words for ‘snow’ – because snow is such an important and relevant topic to them – so too did this society had a plethora of terms to describe the social standings of the different, the outcast, the misfits.

Beyond The Norms

For these reasons, you may understand how Tuhjk, in every way imaginable, was breaking all the norms and social customs of her day and age. On those days only males would be expected to pilot these ships, and travel to the skies past the point “where it’s always dark night” – that was the expression used to describe the novelty of the edges of space. In the beginning there was little technology to actually prevent a surface-built ship to go past a point of no return, and not be able to come back from space. The flying was made manually by the pilot, and involved a degree of bravery, the ethos of attempting to go as far as possible, farther than before, without crossing the invisible point of no return. Of course, some flew so high that they never came back. Pilots were a little like test pilots today, when new prototype aircraft are being developed and tested. There was high risk involved, but also the energy of bravery and temerity.

Despite the social tension towards going against the norm, technically nothing would stop a female from going through the tests, applying to the vacant spots, proving she could fly. Tuhjk had been born as a female to live a lifetime in the opposite pole of social customs: to be the absolute daredevil, to dismiss all social norms, and with that risk being completely exposed and rejected by everyone else. And being a particular area of bravery and novelty, cultural stigma was slightly lower than in the rest of society. So she had an opening there, and her sheer fearlessness gradually opened the doors to her.

Laura, Tuhjk in that lifetime, had spent many incarnations in that planet experiencing and balancing both sides of this duality: either completely fulfilling the norms, or breaking them. Prior to this lifetime, she had accumulated such a large amount of memories doing what others expected, conforming, that as Spirit she wanted to be born with an extremely high degree of temerity, on purpose. After being born, she wouldn’t cave in to the social pressures of others. She wanted to boldly break as much norms as possible during her lifetime, in an age where all kinds of boundaries were rapidly going to be expanded – both the boundary of the sky, and within people’s minds. She wanted to be a teacher to others, to show the way. She wanted to show how to widen the limits, expand the boundaries, stretch what was frowned upon, not allowed. She wanted to teach others that it could be okay to breach some norms, if it meant following your passions. And now there she was, flying through space, on her own, as a female. Going boldly where no female had gone before.

Inner Tension

Tuhjk had been born suppressing the side of her which believed in the rigidity of rules. This was the intention she had given, in order for in her lifetime to pay little attention to social norms, so she could go beyond them. However, this didn’t mean she was completely unaffected by this.

Deep within her there was some tension. She knew she was pushing the boundaries and what most other individuals though. While this was what she wanted to do, a part of her still doubted this was the right thing to do, or how much it was correct. Deep down she was unsure of what was “right” or “wrong”. It was a doubt of principle, of ideology. And by crossing the boundaries in this manner, she was always tempting, stirring this doubt.

There was a duality of beliefs in this civilization, as well as within herself:

  • the rigidity of sticking to the norm, which provided safety and peace but stifled emotions and individuality, vs
  • not sticking to the norm at all, which provided personal freedom of expression but complete social isolation, being “on your own”

Just because she had chosen to suppress within her the latter perspective, she had still some doubts, which caused tension. She felt it more unconsciously than consciously – after all, it was suppressed. But all the while she was going fearlessly against all possible norms, the tension within her was rising. She doubted and feared not having support, not knowing what she was doing – and not knowing what she didn’t know! On top of this, she was a female, and females were believed to be unsuited to all activities that were daring, that demanded bravery, and thinking on-top-of-the-knee. She was afraid she would be caught by something unexpected and that she didn’t know how to handle. Females were believed to be inflexible, non-adaptable, and intellectually slow. Just because she wanted to prove and teach otherwise, didn’t make her invulnerable to the opinion of the collective.

This was a lesson she wanted to offer, not only to society but to herself. But she was walking a tight rope. She relied on being validated by her own actions and choices – never by others.

The Vow

One day Tuhjk was piloting her craft, by herself, returning to the base after another flight to the edge of space. It wasn’t the first time she flew, but it was still one of the first occasions. She was still at high altitude but had entered the atmosphere of the planet, and she could see in the distance the base where she was supposed to land.

One moment she is flying forward, in control of the ship. In the next, she is falling.

Something wasn’t right. The ship wasn’t responsive. The first seconds seemed like an eternity to her, and was what she spiritually most remembers. The ship was still horizontal and straight, but instead of having an impulse to fly forward, now was dropping down, falling. “Lift” – the force that sustains an object in the air – disappeared rapidly. It was now only gravity. It was like when you’re standing on solid ground and suddenly the ground vanishes from under your feet; or when you’re in a roller-coaster and suddenly the car plunges.

All the doubts and tension that had been building up, that had remained almost subconscious before, now all rushed forward. This moment, this memory, and all of its thoughts and sensations, stayed engraved in her Soul until today. The sensation of physically falling, suddenly and unexpectedly. She felt she lost her control, lost her grip on the situation. She didn’t know what to do to fix this. She wondered what she did wrong. She considered herself guilty for not being able to think straight. She questioned she wasn’t good enough for piloting, if it was true what they said about females, that they were incapable of thinking quickly. She questioned if the social norms were right after all. The ship began plunging down nose first, and began doing that typical noise of a large object falling through the air uncontrollably, which she never had heard before. The physical sensation of falling uncontrollably, which she never experienced before. The moment was of complete shock, with many things that were unexpected and new, and only added to the shock.

As her Soul left her body, she decided she did not know enough. “There’s too much I don’t know. I need to know more before daring to venture forward.” From then on, she would do things much more slowly. Every time she had to take risks, she had to think differently, she would do so very carefully, very tentatively, paying very close attention to whatever she did and to all the details. Maybe society was right about going against the norm.

Karmic/Emotional Patterns

In this section I’ll address karmic patterns that I detected in the previous memory, and which I believe may be present, or may be relevant, to Laura today.

Emotional Suppression

In this lifetime, there’s a presence of an element of emotional suppression made by figures of authority. It is the disapproval and judgment against what is different, risky, adventurous, playful, pleasurable, unique, individual, or that “rocks the boat” and causes uncertainty.

The disapproval doesn’t need to be explicit, spoken about, or acted upon. It can be emotional, and/or unspoken. It exists primarily on an emotional level. All it takes is for the child to feel that her parents, or one of the parents, systematically disapproves her. A child naturally has the tendency to seek approval and belonging from parents, so immediately there’s an element of control that forms, as the child attempts to nervously seek the approval of the parent who systematically disapproving her.

This is a form of control because this disapproval is karmic, repetitive, exists outside reason, and is not bound to a specific event. It is not motivated by whatever the child has done. Instead, it’s a repeating cycle that forms within the insecurity of the authority figure that disapproves. It is a subconscious reaction to the potential loss of power, control, etc.

A way for this pattern to manifest is by a childhood family environment that is enclosed, conservative, where spontaneous emotions, feelings and desires are habitually suppressed. Laura might have had one or both parents that fits into this pattern with her. She might have also picked up and repeated the pattern herself as a figure of authority herself.

It’s possible that in her family there are tales, stories, about family members that attempted to take risks, make daring decisions , or attempted to “follow their hearts” (both romantically and in a business or professional level) and that these stories ended badly, in suffering and/or with loss. These stories are habitually used as examples to justify never abandoning the norm, never veering outside of what is supposed to be done or chosen.
However such stories are used as excuses to completely cut off each individual from following its own individuality and life course in an autonomous manner, of experiencing indulging and pleasurable experiences, and of thinking independently, at all.

A typical example would be condemning sex that brings pleasure, with the excuse of fear of venereal diseases. Another example would be condemning the pursuit of self-employment by fear of poverty. Typical examples involve condemning pleasurable experience because it involved the risk of loss or pain of some kind. Religious or cultural elements may also be involved.

In this specific pattern, while the reasons and risks themselves might be legitimate and worth considering, and steps taken to safeguard against risks involved, by themselves they aren’t necessarily a justification for completely canceling out pursuing such options. This form of backwards thinking uses these reasons as excuses to control the behavior of others, by preventing them from assessing and taking controllable risks in their lives, and learning from trial and error. It is a form to imprint enduring feelings of guilt on children, and to prevent adults from living lives where they feel free to make their own choices.

This pattern is not simply a call for attention, an healthy advertence, an action that is informative and useful. Instead it uses legitimate reasons as excuses to entirely reject a choice, possibly withdrawing emotional or material support and belonging if the “correct” choices are not made. As such, it is not an act out of love and caring – although it might be coated this way – it is instead a form of control that is negative, a form of blackmail.

This pattern of emotional suppression may not necessarily apply only in “big” life decisions, but in the smaller daily elements of life as well. It also is one of the contributing factors for Laura feeling guilty of making her own choices, or unsure of pursuing an independent or new professional life – being that the other factors will be addressed further ahead.

Polarized Beliefs About Safety vs Risk-Taking

Laura as a Soul has been exploring the duality of norm vs freedom across many lifetimes and experiences. Her beliefs about this duality are extremely polarized: either one behaves completely within the norm, bringing safety, stability, and peace, but sacrificing all possible individuality, pleasure, and excitement; or, one is a complete daredevil, a total rebel, paying zero attention to rules, and risking everything, with much instability and without any safeguards whatsoever. There is little middle ground. The action of taking risks is seen as extremely scary and “wild”, although a part of her is interested in doing so to some degree.

Although Laura knows both roles very well, in this lifetime she has experienced mainly the first one, in the sense of experiencing a childhood, a family environment, a professional route, and generally a way of living, that would leave relatively small room, and instantly condemns, an expression of the self that is different, free, or unattached.

It’s also possible for Laura to have both “modalities” within her: being capable of living conservatively and mindful of what others think; but also have a mode of being that is very over-enthusiastic, extremely excited, reckless, “all in”, when she is in full throttle, going extremely fast, and not want to stop, or know how to. Quite possibly these types of fast-paced sensations or experiences are a source of excitement, fun, and pleasure to her – even if there may be feelings of guilt attached to them.

If this is the case, it’s possible, for example, that in her childhood she would display moments where she would be very energetic, very enthusiastic, moving very fast – and then she would be scorned and reprimanded by her parents, at which point she would feel criticized and revert back to the programming of being completely quiet and obedient. She could have drawn unto herself the stigma of being clumsy, reckless, not being careful, not being good at doing things, being “wrong”, not knowing how to do things, crossing the line, hurting others when she would let go, etc. This would then made her assume she did “wrong” when crossing boundaries and taking risks, when she was free to do as she wanted.

Making Things Controllable

There is a tendency to narrow down possibilities, controlling everything, and plan. There is an emotional pattern to try to control things (and herself). This pattern comes from the memory of something unexpected and unknown suddenly escaping Laura’s control, leading to catastrophic failure. So Laura tries to obsessively know everything, plan everything, control as much as possible, in an attempt to reduce the things that are unknown to her or give her uncertainty.

This planning tends to be drawn “in straight lines” – as opposed to curves – with things clearly outlined, separated, equal, perfectly organized. However reality might throw Laura “curve balls” (unexpected things), and when this happens, there is a large degree of anxiety, panic, the sensation that she can’t adapt or be flexible. This fear and panic of things that were unpredicted comes from the memory of the crash described in this reading, were she couldn’t adapt to save herself, and also, from her own polarized beliefs about uncertainty, where something is either completely safe, or completely unpredictable, explosive, unsafe.

The unknown is a dreadful monster that is just waiting somewhere to come in unexpectedly and ruin things that are good and perfect. Therefore, there might also be a pattern of getting to a point when things are finally pleasurable and good, only to be undone and interrupted by bad things that were unexpected.

But this is a way of the Universe to show Laura that reality does not work in a straight, predictable line, instead it works in curves and waves. There’s an aspect of reality that does not follow how the human wants or expects to. The trick is to find a balance between a routine, things that follow the norm to a degree, but also being able to adapt somewhat to things that are new – because it is in the new that discovery and excitement resides.

Uncertainty

There’s an heavy concern with what others believe. Laura is sensitive to the alignment in belief with others. She becomes lost when she perceives she may believe something different from others, or others believe something different than her.

Everyone is somewhat vulnerable to what others think or say, however this is a karmic attribute where if someone speaks differently from what Laura believes or has chosen, a large amount of uncertainty and doubt will come over her. It’s a doubt sparked by divergence with the external world.

The uncertainty is crippling. She becomes permanently indecisive, not knowing if A or B is better, she doesn’t know what to do and she does not make any decision. This comes from the polarized beliefs discussed in 2.1.2, by being (or having been) mainly in the role of complete conformity. When we don’t make any decisions for a long time, things around us stall and stop moving.

This uncertainty may also manifest as the habit of delaying and postponing the act of facing what she really feels, and doing what she really wants to do. It may involve occupying time and space with activities, thoughts, conversations, or otherwise things that aren’t exactly, quite what she was really interested in, but are meant to fill the space and delay facing how and what she really feels and wants.

It’s the pattern of avoiding facing inner truth and desires, by fear of what’s going to happen.
Feelings and emotions that she may have that may be controversial, that may not be externally accepted, or may “rock the boat” and the way things work, are self-suppressed. She pushes these feelings downward, towards the semi-subconscious, and she may not even acknowledge them to herself. She may have the tendency to to do the same to others.

This is a reflection of the karmic attribute of emotional suppression discussed before, and as such this assessment of karmic patterns comes “full circle”.

Admiration

Tuhjk’s passing was greatly felt by all those involved in those new technologies, and to some degree, her whole society.

She thought she was widely rejected and frowned upon by all others. But the accident there was a wave of compassion, sadness, and sorrow that swept through everyone, all those involved, and all society to some degree. The accident itself was unexpected, but it was also unexpected the way everyone reacted and felt.

The truth is that, while it was socially correct to look sideways towards Tuhjk, deep down, secretly, in each individual’s hearts, they admired her. No one ever spoke to one another about this, because it wasn’t “right”. But she was greatly admired by everyone because she was fearless. She didn’t mind the risks, the norms, or what others thought. So the fact that nothing held her back, at all, sparked something in others’ hearts that made them support her and want her to succeed, much like when you begin rooting for a favorite race driver, or a favorite character in a movie.

All were secretly rooting for her to break all the barriers.

In a way she answered a call of her own society. People wanted to let go the social norms, and be able to feel and express themselves more. Tuhjk embodied this collective subconscious desire, and she struck a chord within everyone. Again, it wasn’t something that was open or widely discussed. It was more or less suppressed, much like everyone would suppress their own feelings and emotions. But when she passed, the tragedy of how it happened, and the fact that people secretly wanted her to go far and succeed, all of these feelings as if came to the surface, individuals realizing them.

I’m at the control center, or base, where she was supposed to land. When it was known she was lost in the accident, I see people bringing their hands to their heads, looking downward, in their expressions disbelief, wide open eyes. A wave of silence, speechlessness, in the air. At that moment, true feelings finally surfaced. Everyone felt the impact of the loss.

Safety Measures

On Earth, especially in the first half of the XX century, race car drivers were exposed to extreme danger without much safeguards. Racing cards were more prone to having accidents, and the pilot was not much physically protected. The life of a pilot was very hazardous and risky, because not many safety measures were implemented. For a long time, racing teams/companies were swift to replace pilot fatalities with other pilots, with not much regard for the lives that were lost. Looking back at those days, the level (or lack) of safety, high level of risk, and relative disregard for the live of a human being, would appear to us as nearly surreal, barbaric. Only with time, and with accidents and fatalities that were noteworthy, were increasingly strict rules enforced about car and safety designs.

It may seem sad and incorrect that it takes fatalities for people to implement such safety procedures. But it is, in fact, a matter of raising of consciousness. At one point consciousness is less sensitive to the real value of a life, potentially placing money, competitiveness, and other values, above it. But when a fatality happened, it brought a wave of compassion and sorrow, which was a form for individuals to realize, within themselves, how they truly felt about the value of the one they lost. In this way, the level of consciousness and sensitivity would rise, and along with it, the development of better safeguards and safety measures.

It was what happened with Tuhjk on her planet. Nothing about the accident was her fault. No one had ever thought what to do in that situation, since no malfunction to date had resulted in complete loss of power. Neither was she trained for this possibility. She couldn’t have done anything, because there was nothing she could have done. In fact, it was a mistake, an overlooking, in maintenance by technicians, which had caused the malfunction.

Directly resulting from her accident, a kind of ‘parachute’ device was developed and installed in each ship. If the pilot would find himself in distress, a large button could be pressed in an emergency, which would release a kind of large parachute, that would slowly float the ship down to the ground, instead of having it crashing.

The emotional impact of Tuhjk’s loss brought to everyone’s attention the need to introduce better safety to the technology of the ships, and more strict maintenance.

Doubt

As a Spirit and across many incarnations, Laura has been exploring these two dualities: absolute conformity vs absolute nonconformity. Many times, this was done by suppressing one side so only the other could be felt, lived, and explored. When she wanted to “play by the norm”, she would suppress the side of her that could in any way be different, her emotions or feelings; when she wanted to “be free and break all the rules”, she would suppress the side that payed attention to the norms and common-sense. It’s a spiritual technique she’s been being using for a long time.

But attempting to suppress something of ourselves has its side-effects. Both dualities become very extreme without one another. Without having both feet on the ground, the act of being spontaneous becomes very hazardous, very unsafe, prone to accident. But without acknowledging one’s true emotions and feelings, one’s life is devoid of significance, color, and forward movement. One continues living but disconnected within, on auto-pilot.

The crash in Tuhjk’s life happened because she spent much time not paying attention to the side of her that believed in the norms. Part of her still belonged and aligned with the cultural belief systems of her context, which thoroughly believed females were completely unsuited for what she was doing. So part of her spirit asked, “Is it true? I’m afraid of not being able to handle this. Who is right?”. But she wanted to ignore this question in order to move forward fearlessly. She was living an energy of extremes.

By dismissing her own emotions and feelings that brought her grounding, these began to build up inside her. The doubt, the anxiety, while subtle, were being unaddressed within. The unaddressing itself brought her anxiety, because she had doubts that weren’t being answered, satisfied. She had a world of uncertainty within.

This anxiety accumulated for so long within her, that when she came in contact with a potential of vulnerability (error in the ship’s maintenance), that energy made the potential for catastrophe materialize into an actual catastrophic situation.

Every Soul attracts unto itself the situations that mirror its own inner state. This is also known as “Law of Attraction”. As Tuhjk’ harbored a large amount of doubt and uncertainty that she wasn’t addressing within herself, she ended up co-creating a situation that reflected the world of fears and doubts she held within. And as the moment unraveled in those seconds, all these doubts and uncertainties came gushing forward to her. In the middle of the terror, it seemed to her that the doubts were almost validating themselves: “It’s true, I shouldn’t be doing this after all. I’ve made a mistake”.

However the extreme situation only happened because there was an extreme separation between both beliefs: a completely safe mode of living vs a completely reckless mode. You could say that it’s the act of suppressing itself that makes the two sides of truth grow farther apart.

The Great One

In the end, by virtue of Tuhjk’s journey and processing her own life lessons, she was able to bring to her society more openness regarding strict social norms and rigid separations of what one should and shouldn’t do.
Even if the life ended tragically for her, after her passing individuals became more in tune with their honest emotions and feelings, and most especially, it was more accepted that females could perform as well as males, in activities and functions that prior to this weren’t really available to them.

There was a general sensation of guilt by all the technological realms regarding the airborne ships. It was generally felt that it was because of lax maintenance rules and poor safety measures, they had lost a great pilot, a great breaker of boundaries, and potentially a great leader. They assumed the guilt/responsibility for the fatality. It was because of them that they had lost Tuhjk, too early, too soon.

In the end, Tuhjk did what she had wanted to do: to widen the boundaries and social norms of society, to show that females could do anything males could do, and to loosen the grip of cultural stigma and social judgment, that had strapped and silenced the voices of everyone’s hearts for so long. Her intention was fulfilled. It is each being’s intention that ultimately governs the outcome of his actions, whatever they may be. It’s often said that “God writes straight with crooked lines”.

Everyone in the planet, which circled a star called Veja – pronounced “Veh-ee-ha”, meaning “Lady”, on Earth resurfaced as the name “Vega” – would forever remember the memory of Tuhjk, “The Great One”.