Akashic Records Reading: The Fairy
1.1 The Young Planet
When I connect with Mary’s energy from afar, I begin by seeing a planet floating in space.
As my attention closes in on this planet, its surface resembles when molten lava has recently cooled down, and formed a solid dark surface. The surface of the planet has varying degrees and shades of this volcanic-like dark. In some areas there are, naturally, cliffs, abysses, jagged edges, and also bits of active volcanic activity. But there are also many portions of the surface which are very wide, flat, and smooth-looking, as if long streams of lava had been pouring abundantly, and then at some point cooled down and became a long, smooth surface.
This image is both literal and symbolic. The planet has recently (in a relative sense, considering the scale of time these things take to happen) been formed. It’s in its infancy stage. It has just coalesced and solidified into a solid ball of matter, and at this time major extreme volcanic and geological activity has already, for the most part, subsided and stabilized. The planet seems to have no atmosphere (I seem to be able to see the surface easily), and no sign of life. It is quite literally a rock floating in space.
I now notice that, right next to the planet, in space, there’s another object.
This object is also spherical, but much smaller, similar to a moon. The proportion in size between the two is similar to that of Earth and the Moon. This other object or planet is very close to the first one. However it looks much different.
The other planet has a very bright light emanating from it, making it look like a big light bulb, or chandelier, in the ceiling of a room.
Its light is very intense yet very subtle, very soft. It does not project strongly onto nearby objects, it does not shine like “regular” light – it simply envelops, surrounds the object, but “stays” around it. It’s as if the object is made of this subtle light.
The light of the object has different layers with different tones on top of each other, like the layers of an onion. It also has within it many subtle nuances and effects, like when you look at a ray of sunshine reflected in the surface of water, or in the glass of a window, and you notice multiple rainbow-type specks of different colors dancing and forming patterns. The light of the object makes it appear to an observer as almost magical. In a way the planet reminds me of one of those “orbs” that are sometimes caught in photographs (but in a very large scale).
The Light from this object does not come from a physical process, like the light emitted by Star for example. This is a planetary body that is vibrating in a higher frequency, if you will, than regular physical matter.
This is not meant as “scientifically accurate”, only to offer a descriptive explanation of the materials covered by this reading.
In a metaphysical sense one could say all matter is Light vibrating at a certain frequency. The lower this frequency is, i.e. the slower the vibration, the denser and “heavier” matter becomes, until in the lowest end of the spectrum you have tactile, solid physical matter. The opposite is also true: the higher the frequency of vibration, i.e. the faster the vibration is, matter starts to become lighter, less dense, and more subtle, or “ethereal”. Until in the higher end of the spectrum there’s only pure Light from Source.
In the context of this explanation, the physical characteristics of the object are much more subtle, much lighter – rendering it more light-like – than regular solid physical matter.
This is the reason of the Light effects described.
At this point I wonder that it would be logical to assume that when a new planet forms, and there’s much geological and volcanic activity, there would perhaps be some form of atmosphere, if anything, mostly comprised of early and toxic elements. However in the image it’s as if one can observe the planet’s surface in an unobstructed manner (at least the portion shown to me). That is to say, the surface isn’t covered or shrouded by any kind of clouds. In fact, visually it looks and feels as if the planet literally doesn’t have any atmosphere at all.
As a reference, I’m then shown the image of Earth, with a soft blue halo around it.
When one observes Earth from space, besides the occasional formations of clouds that can cover the planet’s surface, you can more or less see the its surface, the seas and continents, relatively unobstructed. And you can also see, a kind of a halo around the planet.
This halo is soft blue in colour, and it’s very subtle, translucent, like a thin layer, or bubble, enveloping the planet. It is more clearly seen when you look at the edge of the planet’s surface, bordering the darkness of space in the background.
The Earth’s halo corresponds to the top layers of the planet’s atmosphere, but metaphorically, it also represents the planet’s ability to sustain life.
Earth’s atmosphere is perfectly fine-tuned, balanced, for the purposes of having breathable air, relatively temperate conditions, and comfortable environment, to the presence of all living beings on its surface. When seen from space, the halo tends to appear as something very fragile, almost ‘dangerously’ thin, like a symbolic aura around the planet, representing the fragility, and preciousness, of life itself.
In the memory, when the planet’s surface appears devoid of atmosphere, I notice that the halo is missing, and so the planet is completely barren of life, and of the conditions themselves to support it. In the sense of being able to support any life, the planet has nothing on its surface. It is a blank slate. This is what the sensation of absence of atmosphere means.
And this is the reason for the presence of the other object next to it.
The light-like planet, or sphere, next to the first one, by contrast feels teeming with life.
The energy of the object feels full, bright, vivid. It feels as if it’s full animation, excitement, potentials, and intelligence.
The Light planet is not a common planet, at least by human standards.
It would be called by some spiritual or metaphysical circles as a subtle or “etheric” planet. As previously described, its vibration or frequency is very different, higher, from the rock/barren planet, and generally from planets as they are commonly known by human science. Its matter is subtler, lighter.
To a human of today, the planet would not be seen to the naked eye. There could be, perhaps, some form of measurable effect in and around the space where it was. Perhaps that area of space would reflect light and radiation in a different way; perhaps it would be more brightly lit than the areas around it, for no apparent reason; perhaps it would cause some other uncommon effect. But generally speaking, the planet itself would not be visible to the naked eye or regular instruments. It would easily go entirely unnoticed.
Besides being an etheric planet, it is also mobile.
This object was not here during the previous stages of the forming of the big rocky planet. It did not form the same way, i.e. by physical means. Instead, it came here, and it is here now. I feel as if the object either have popped up, in place, as if a portal from higher realms, “out of nowhere”. Or perhaps it moved here through space, now standing next to the rock planet at a time that happens to be meaningful and appropriate. Or maybe some combination of the two that is not familiar to my mind at this time.
Either way, the planet is now here, at this stage of the planet’s evolution, and for a purpose.
1.5 Seeding the Basics
The subtle planet is full of intelligent forms of life. These life forms, much like the planet itself where they stand, are not entirely physical, but instead vibrate on a different, more subtle frequency than regular physical matter. They, themselves, are subtle and made of Light. These beings are commonly referred to as Devic.
The “Devic realms” or beings, is a designation commonly used on Earth to refer to the multitude of subtle beings of Light that inhabit, and life “behind”, so to speak, in an energy level, the natural elements and locations of planet Earth.
They are subtle and have simple, instinctual and/or child-like playful behaviour. They are rarely seen by the naked human eye, but they can and do appear to humans on occasion, either because they choose to – for example to a child, or to someone they feel has an open mind and heart – or, sometimes, simply, by distraction.
Because these beings are occasionally seen, they’ve frequently been alluded to in several cultures, and incorporated in myths and child stories. They are most commonly associated with Natural settings and their child-like demeanour. They are known as fairies, gnomes, leprechauns, elementals, and so forth.
And so, come this point into this reading, we are describing a memory where a young barren planet is neighboured by a smaller, etheric planet, which is made of Light and contains life in the form of fairies and many other beings, of the Devic hierarchies.
The mission of the subtle planet and of the beings in it, is to seed the new planet with the energy blueprints for the sustenance of life.
The Devas are here to imprint the planet with the forms of energy, which in turn will govern, direct, sustain, how physical matter will reorganize itself and develop into the basic elements of an ecosystem, and eventually, into actual physical life.
The barren planet has no halo. It can hold no life. It has no “aura”. The subtle planet’s mission is to work towards giving it one.
Fairies are depicted in folklore as being able to sprinkle a magic powder, or “fairy dust”, and whatever is sprinkled by that dust is benefited in some way. Tinkerbell’s magic powder in Peter Pan, for example, allowed children to fly. Fairies do have this dust: it is the way by which they project and direct their energy onto what they wish to nurture.
Beings from the Devic realms, such as fairies, are specialized in maintaining and nurturing Nature and its elements from “behind the scenes”, in other words, in an energy sense. They do not plant actual physical seeds in the ground. They don’t physically water the plants. What they do, is to work the energy behind matter, or the energetic component of matter.
When fairies direct their energy towards a thing (sprinkling their magic powder) they convey vital life force to that thing. In that way they shape the energy component of the thing, in turn strengthening its manifestation in physical matter. In this sense they work as bridges, or translators, between pure energy and solid physical matter.
This is akin to when a human talks to a plant, and then that plant seems to “like it”, and be nurtured by it. The plant will then exhibit the tendency to, over time, slowly, grow more vital, more colourful, more – in a way – joyous. Talking to a plant is not watering or feeding it physically: it is nurturing it on the energy level, with love and attention.
This is very similar to what the beings from the Devic realms do. They shape and nurture matter, in particular the physical matter that is, or can become, alive. It’s just that humans don’t have literal magic power coming out of their fingers (they can’t see energy at work). But they do have the ability to move energy, much like fairies can.
The entourage, if you want to call it that, from the Devic realms, came to the barren rocky planet to begin developing the energy and subtle components, blueprints, and systems, of that planet, to establish energy foundations so that the planet could, over time, slowly, begin developing the conditions to, eventually, have its own “bubble of life”.
Granted, this would happen on a large scale – that is why a whole planet of beings was assigned to this – granted, it would take time, and granted, it would have to happen from the ground up, quite literally.
Part II: Fairy Issues
2.1 The Fairy
In the context previously described, my attention now focuses on one fairy in particular.
The fact that my attention is singling out a single, specific fairy, within the context of this memory, means Mary was this fairy. In other words, at one point in time the spiritual being who is Mary today, was experiencing reality as a fairy. It is not the case that Mary is “connected” with, or is “related”, to this fairy. It is more immediate than that: Mary was this fairy, in a literal sense.
This fairy, like others like her, was minute in size, perhaps as tall as a toddler – if she was to stand next to a human being today so we could see her size. In terms of energy or, if you will, mentality, the consciousness of her and many others like her would be equivalent, perhaps, to a 5 year-old human child.
This subtle planet was a setting that suited fairies and other Devic beings perfectly. The best analogy we would give would be to imagine a kindergarten, or playground, with 5-year-old children endlessly playing, frolicking, running and laughing, living simple and very light lives and existences. This was how life for a fairy in this planet was. The subtle planet was an environment of energy and light, designed to hold, be a container of, a carrier for, beings of the Devic realms. It was, in a way, a paradise for them – their paradise.
In this setting, fairies and beings of similar nature did not have ‘fairy parents’ or ‘fairy caretakers’, like 5-year-old children in a human playground would. Instead, there was a presence or energy they perceived to be ‘above them’, ‘watching over them’.
This energy was seen by them as an overall brightness, or a diffuse light, in the skies above. It was not perceived by fairies in an individualized manner, but in general, non-specific way. It was known to them as ‘The Fathers’, ‘The Elders’, or simply as ‘The Light’. This light could and would sometimes communicate with them, speak to them, and nurture them, but without ‘coming’ from one place in particular. When it communicated with them in some way, the brightness in the sky seemed to flicker, like lightning inside a cloud turning it on and off like a light bulb – but in a manner that wasn’t scary, but gentle, warm, caring. One could say it was a consciousness that was in, and was the, very Light of the planet itself.
These were, in truth, the beings of the higher hierarchies of the Devic realms, which to the fairies would appear to be the Light above and around them.
Much like 5-year-old children generally aren’t at a point of their development to consciously question what’s around them, fairies also didn’t question the existence of this presence. It just was there. It was their reality.
This light was ever-present and it was all around them, always on. In this subtle planet there were no nights – the ambient was always lit.
At one point in time, the multitude of Devic beings are called to descend onto the rocky planet’s surface, so that they may begin the, albeit slow, process of building from the ground up the energy infrastructure and blueprint on the planet. These blueprints, in turn, would allow the planet to develop past the point of being simply a lifeless rock floating in space.
But the fairy of this reading’s memory, the being who Mary once was – which we will refer to as simply ‘the fairy’ – does not want to go.
The fairy is absolutely terrified of going onto the planet’s surface – even though, at the same time, she’s feeling the “pull” to go. But she feels the surface of the planet as something that is extremely dark, cold, lifeless. She feels as if the planet’s surface is even darker than the infinity of space itself. She’s looking upon the planet and its deeply dark surface, and she dreads going there.
Much like a young child terrified of a new, unknown experience, she is metaphorically sinking her heels on the ground leaving a dragging mark, so to speak. This is an image intended to illustrate just how absolutely terrified the fairy is of going into the planet, and how much she’s resisting and delaying the pull to go.
So, on one hand she’s feeling a strong push, a strong calling, to go onto the planet; on another she also fears doing so, and therefore is resisting actually going.
It’s not that the descent from the fairy’s Light realm onto the rocky planet would in any way be dangerous to them.
There was no risk involved.
Picture the two planets, or objects, next to each other, in a relative sense, in space. Now imagine that the process by which the fairies, and otherwise Devic beings, are being asked to actually go from the Light object to the rocky planet, is like the tilting of a bucket of water, or a watering can. Once the bucket or can is tilted to a sufficient degree, a small stream of water starts to form, descending from the can to the ground.
The mechanism by which the Devic beings were to travel to one place to the other, would be akin to gliding along this very gentle stream of water – in this case, a stream not of water but of energy – almost like the seeds of some trees are able to float and glide in a soft breeze.
The Devic beings, being subtle entities made of light, would not suffer in any way during this descent. There would not be any problem in transiting space between one planet and another. It would be something very smooth, very gentle for them, perhaps even fun, if they saw it that way.
Our fairy does not fear the descent itself, in other words the movement or travel, she would go through to get there. What she fears is the idea of going to and being in the actual planet.
Feeling is everything to fairies.
A fairy does not usually communicate with words. Nor is she told what to do, where to go, or where to sprinkle her magic pow(d)er.
A fairy is simple, highly instinctual being, who feels where she’s supposed to go, where’s she’s meant to be; what plant needs her affection the most; what place needs care and nurturing the most; where is she’s most needed at the moment. A fairy, and Devic beings in general, does not think too much about things. She is not logical or mentally driven. Fairies are naturally highly tuned with energy, which they connect with via what they feel. And so when it comes to decide what to do next, they are driven by what they are feel at the moment.
The same way, when the moment came for fairies and similar light beings to descend on the rocky planet, this “calling” was not verbal. Instead, it was a calling of energy: the intention from the higher echelons of the Devic hierarchies resonated and spiralled downward towards the fairies, and they began sensing it in terms of their own feelings and emotions, as if they were being pulled, guided towards, the planet below.
Using the analogy of the watering can from before, it was as if at that moment the can of water began being tilted. The water in the can first began by tilting to the side, and then started pouring down towards the rock planet. And the fairies felt this motion, the flow or movement of water (the current of energy) ‘running’ from the Devic subtle planet towards the rocky one. It was, in fact, gliding across that same current, that those beings would make their travel to it.
Yet, our young fairy was facing an immense conflict within her, because simultaneously she held two feelings that seemed to contradict each another: one (1) was leading her towards the planet; the other was (2) as preventing her to go there.
Fairies, as stated, live by their feelings. Feelings were supposed to guide and comfort them. But if that was so, how could she be feeling two such contradictory things?
2.4 Pull, Push, Stalemate
While we are talking about, well, fairies in space, the truth is that this memory lies at the basis of Mary’s essence, and is a very deep and strong one, of critical significance.
From this moment on, the fairy lost trust in the veracity and validity of her own feelings.
Feelings were supposed to be what guides a Fairy. They are everything to her. Yet at this moment, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if the right thing to do was to descend to the rocky planet against her own fear, or trust her fear and refuse the descent. She was being pulled to do something, but her fear also prevented her from doing it.
In an attempt to try to understand what was the right thing to do, she tried to create space for herself – ironically enough, space to think. That is to say, she tried to stop and feel what was the truth behind how she felt. This truth was an uncertainty at this point: it seemed to be in either end of the spectrum: the right thing to do was either going, or, not going.
This resulted in a stalemate.
The fairy could not descend, but neither could she dismiss the pull entirely. This pull was something she felt clearly, strongly, as clear as day, at all times. And so was her fear. So she could do neither. She was blocked.
In this state of confusion and loss of certainty, the pull became a push which she fought to resist. The doubts over her own feelings began also to extend to the perceived origin of the pull: the Elders. How can the Fathers order something I don’t want? And how can they keep pushing me towards this cliff, towards this agony, insisting on something I don’t want to do? And so the distrust in the benevolence of the Higher Power also grew in her.
The stalemate lasted for a very long time. Over that time the fairy could never see clearly from within her growing state of confusion and uncertainty. But the pull to descend towards the planet never subsided either. It simply kept pushing, without explanation, non-stop.
2.5 Trauma Within
Eventually, after a long time has passed, the fairy did decided to descend onto the planet.
At this point the planet was no longer in the same plain, barren rock when the calling began. While it was still very much a work in progress, it already have some (albeit rudimentary) traces of warmth to it.
It had a little bit of water on the surface. Not much, not pure or drinkable, but it was there, at least chemically. There was an early atmosphere with some moisture and not just toxic fumes. With this early atmosphere, the temperature on the surface, while not balanced, was no longer freezing cold, as if the planet was literally a bare rock exposed to space. Now there were elements moving about in the planet’s surface other than just lava and fire. Wind moved the air about. Some of the rocks had been eroded enough to become soil.
The basic foundations of energy were being laid, and physical matter was accompanying those foundations. The first traces of ecosystems were forming and starting to be noticeable. It was the very beginning of the halo around the planet.
At this moment the planet was a little less frightening and daunting, and the fairy’s fear subsided somewhat – enough, at least, that she let go of her fear enough to consider venturing down. And venturing down she did.
But by this time, an enormous amount of fear, doubt, frustration, and also anger, had seeped into the fairy’s inner beingness. Now she was a little less joyous and spontaneous, like fairies usually are. She was a little less subtle, less happy, less joyful. She was still herself; but now she also held within herself an immense amounts of grief, pain, revolt. Her stalemate, and all the emotions related to it, had taken their toll on her. Indeed, they had been endured for the longest of times.
If you consider the scale at which planets form and develop, we could easily describe this period of time as lasting for millions of years. Perhaps we can relativize this statement by saying time is experienced differently by subtle beings and subtle settings. Still, as far as physical matter goes, it was truly a very long time. It was virtually an eternity.
Part III: Energy Traits
[The following explanations in the original reading were extensive; some portions were summarized or edited out for the publication in this website.]
In the following section I’ll proceed to enumerate energy aspects and traits which might be present in Mary’s life today, related to the memory assessed in this reading.
It is ultimately up to Mary, as she reads the information in this reading, to discern if, and how, and how much, such information relates to her, thereby detecting and realizing any patterns, emotions, and circumstances within her and in her current life that might be associated with this memory. This connecting the dots, identifying one’s patterns within oneself, is an integral part of the process of healing. It is to assist in this process that I’ll be writing what follows.
Mary will be “fuelled” by sunlight, and will tend to feel better and more energized during the day rather than during night time. Sunlight will be the closest form of energy to the paradisical setting of the subtle light planet and the Devic settings, from where she came from and used too call her “home”. Sunlight will transmit to her peace as well as help balance her in an energy sense.
Whereas night time might transmit to her coldness and discomfort, or provide in some way circumstances for these things to be experienced, much the same way the coldness of the bare rocky planet gravely contrasted with the spiritual and ideal setting of the light subtle planet to the fairy.
While the (1) fear of heights/falling and the (2) fear of the dark/unknown are relatively common themes of human nature, these would be present in Mary in some way.
It is possible Mary derives pleasure in devoting her attention to small and simple things where she can ‘place’ her energy. A good example would be the habit of talking to plants, and taking care of plants. Nature, and elements of nature, will be a sure way, besides sunlight, to help Mary feel at home, at ease, useful and engaged, and more energized and in balance. If not able to live in a Natural setting, having plants – in particular those with flowers – at home which she can tend to, water with a watering can, nurture, and so on, would be a good idea.
3.2 Serving vs Pleasing
The fact that Mary’s background as a spiritual entity is rooted in the Devic realms will mean she’s extremely sensitive. She’ll be easily and easily influenced by the energies of others – although she might not notice it consciously, as it is and has always been part of her nature.
Mary will tend to perceive life as a constant seeking of opportunities to serve, to try to find where she’s most needed, where she can lend her service and apply or direct her energy. She’ll enjoy entertaining the idea of helping others, assisting and serving, how to support others in times of need and care. Again, if not holding such ideas in a conscious sense, she’ll nonetheless operate in a permanent mode of seeking to serve; being on the lookout for ‘openings’ where she can apply her service – for this is what fairies do. They are constantly seeking where they are most needed. This will also make Mary prone to easily cross the boundaries between what is serving others appropriately, and trying to please others.
Being in a mode of pleasing others is not positive, constructive, or good, in any way. It is a constant energy drain for Mary, and one of the reasons that keeps Mary with low energy. This reading therefore offers Mary the suggestion for her to be mindful of the difference between serving and pleasing.
Serving is when a person who faces a task in her life and is truly attempting to carry her own weight through the situation, by her effort she merits the receiving of external help from others. Because she does her part, the Universe will do its part as well – via the intervention of something, or someone, who “fits the bill”, so to speak, in providing the necessary help to the person.
Let’s say, for example, you have teeth issues, and you acknowledge that fact and make yourself available and willing to attend a dentist. Then, the Universe will be set in motion to place in your path the proper and best dentist for you and your specific case. In this case the dentist will be the one providing service to you.
But if you didn’t acknowledge your teeth issues (“there’s no problem with me!”) then nothing could be done about it. You didn’t acknowledge your own issue – in other words, you didn’t own your accountability in the situation. And so the Universe could not move to answer to you, because you didn’t have a question to begin with. Hence, nothing could be done.
To be of service means to answer a call of the Universe to a situation of another, where implicitly that person has taken due, proper responsibility in that situation.
Pleasing is different. Pleasing is shaping and moulding one’s own behaviour in an attempt to fit one’s idea of how others would react best, according to their own beliefs and perspectives.
Pleasing is generally done not because of the well being of others, but because of the belief that keeping others happy will protect me, or serve me in some way. Pleasing is most often than not, something that deep down – or at least partially – is being done for oneself, as opposed to altruistically, with the interests of others in mind.
In Mary’s case, she is so extremely sensitive to the energies of others that she unconsciously tries to keep them happy, in an attempt to keep them from holding negative energies that would indirectly be felt by her and make her suffer – whether those energies are explicitly directed at her or not. Hence, for Mary the act of pleasing is an instinctive form of defence, also a form of damage control and prevention.
It is possible to perform pleasing as a form of service. For example, a person dressing as a clown in a hospital for children, is attempting to make the children happy, with the intention of ameliorating their condition. The clown attempts to find the best way to make children laugh, and will not rest until it finds something he can do to achieve that purpose.
However, pleasing as a form of defence usually involves getting out of your own inner space, discernment, and best judgement, and instead acting and being something that is shaped and moulded to what others are thought to like and expect. So, in the context of this explanation, pleasing gets you away from your own core self, and your own inner spiritual connection. When done systematically, and over long periods of time, it erodes your ability to connect with your own true self, even “deactivating” the ability to do so. This is why living in a mode of pleasing others drains Mary’s energy away.
We hope to have offered a clear explanation of the difference between the energies of service and of pleasing. Serving is an answer to a call of the Universe, and it feels appropriate and in balance; pleasing is a form of defence that is born out of fear of being hurt.
The best way to protect yourself from the unwanted energies of others is to actively create barriers and boundaries for yourself, namely the maintenance of safe personal/intimate space for you, as well as safe intimate time, to where you can and should width drawn whenever you need replenishing of energy, or you feel overwhelmed by the demands of others.
Pleasing others as a form of defence, on the other hand, will only further fuel the invasion of energies of others towards yourself, because energy-wise you are telling others it’s just fine and okay to trespass on your boundaries and invade your personal energy.
In stark contrast with the drained figure always going out of her way to please others, there is a specific trait to Mary, an area of expertise to her, where she’ll feel absolutely assured and secure – possibly even to a degree she doesn’t find anywhere else in her life – and that perhaps will even seem to just come “out of nowhere”.
This trait relates to aesthetics and attention to detail.
Mary’s spiritual essence is profoundly connected and in tune to the appreciation and organization of aesthetics. In figuring out how something looks best, what goes with what, how should something be like, and to accompany a specific tone or theme – possibly regarding interior decoration, clothing, graphic design, or other areas where things are arranged and designed, and have to fit a certain situation.
Here Mary is at her absolute best. She’ll be the proverbial fish in the water. She’ll simply know what and how to do, without hesitation or space for uncertainty. Tapping to this capacity will make her feel strong, assured, and in charge of something she’s good at, as opposed to “dependable” yet frail and with low personal worth and self-esteem.
For this reason, Mary will be at her best – including, and especially, in a professional sense – in a position where she’ll have to take meticulous and “micro-management-type” control of many different little details, all of which are stored and managed in the confines of her own mind, and must end up exactly the way the imagined them and no other way at all, while at the same time attempting to frame these details and efforts towards a goal and within a theme, possibly set by someone else, typically the person or persons requesting service from her.
The archetypal profession or activity that fits perfectly this mould is that of the wedding planner, who needs to pay attention in thorough manner to many little details, such as the design of the wedding invitations, the choosing and placement of decorations and centrepieces, choosing what flowers to use and how to arrange them, choosing of music and dressing and direction of servants and professionals at the reception, possibly fitting all of these into a specific theme, and all the while, attempting to do so with the tastes and choices of the bride and groom in mind.
Let this be an illustrative example on the way you can be happy in service to others, using your inner expertise and sensibility, while at the same time moulding your efforts to the tastes of others in an appropriate manner.
3.3 Resistance Energy
The memory in this reading carries over with it an enormous energy of delay and blockage.
The situation where the fairy was for a long time stuck in a situation out of fear, may now continually manifest in Mary’s life, by means of situations that do not progress, do not evolve, situations that might not happen at the pace and rhythm Mary wants them to, in other words in a timely manner. There will seem to be a delay in everything around her. Also, situations where she might feel hesitant, without willpower, a clear aim, or ideas.
The fear of the darkness of the planet in the memory, may translate in Mary perceiving things in life as bigger and worse than they really are, often worrying, and thus suffering, by anticipation, about those situations before they actually take place. Everything will typically seem to be larger, worse, and more difficult, than it usually ends up being. Quite often, situations that looked bad, effort-demanding, and enormous before happening, will reveal themselves as not quite as bad, large, or worthy of the amount of worrying, they seemed to demand beforehand. Other times, tasks and undertakings will be extremely arduous and effort-intensive, possibly more than they need to be.
This issue is about the mental interpretation of the situation, perhaps more than the actual situation itself.
The amount of fear that placed on situations by anticipation will often lead Mary in avoiding, delaying, and postponing those situations, much like the fairy got stuck in a state of stalemate. Because everything seems so arduous and effort-driven, Mary’s instinctive reaction is to “sink her feet on the ground”, resisting not just in punctual situations but the flow of life in general, as a whole. This is the reason for situations not flowing in her life. It is a reflection of the energy of resistance Mary holds within. It causes as if a general “slowdown” of life and of the things in it.
In term of energy work, this reading aims at replacing some of the trauma and blockage regarding ‘going into’ tasks that are perceived to take a long time and effort, and replacing that energy with the idea that things in your life can be more expedite, more succinct, and be handled in a smart, subtle, or otherwise easier way.
An example of how tasks, including the small menial chores, can be handled in a smarter, more subtle way, is for example to go to the local market by foot, or riding a bicycle, joining together the activities of shopping and doing exercise, in a way that allows each of them, which could otherwise be felt as time consuming and/or arduous on their own, to be taken in tandem and more lightly.
One element about the memory relates to Mary’s relationship with figures of authority.
During the fairy’s stalemate, she always had the perception she was being pushed towards the descent to the planet. During that whole time, she was feeling, quite literally, as if a force or wave of energy was pushing her back towards this kind of cliff, or edge, from where the surface of the black planet could be seen, and fairies would jump to ‘glide’ towards it.
As so she interpreted this force as being her own form of “higher power”, that is to say, the higher echelons of the hierarchies of the Devic realms, wanting her to go to the planet, almost as if by force, without offering any explanation or consideration, and simply trying to make her go against her will or desires.
The force just pushed her continuously. And she fought it back the whole time, only adding the feeling of anger against it.
Mary might have created in her life situations that reflect the feeling of being pushed to do things or make choices that were unpleasant, undesirable, and/or were against her will, by figures of authority – particularly males. She could, for example, have had an authoritarian male parent who made her do things and make choices, completely disregarding anything she had to say or how she felt about the matter.
Should that be the case, the key in this situation would have been a severe degree of disconnection in terms of communication and emotion between the two. The parent would have made his will felt as if it was an undisputed and unilateral authority of a god: not to be contested, discussed, perhaps even not verbally alluded. Whatever such parent would say or want was like a decree, was meant to happen.
In the very least, she felt what she felt or what she knew wasn’t relevant at all by this figure.
I feel when Mary stands next to a figure of authority, particularly a male one, or simply someone that appears to be bigger in size, she feels as if she shrinks away, and feels totally devoid of personal power and even personal choice. Her self power just vanishes completely, down some unseen drain. It’s as if she feels so tiny and small, that she no longer holds any power over herself at all.
This is a reflection of the ancient memory of being a tiny fairy, particularly small in size, in complete contrast with an indiscernible, incommunicable, unreachable, yet all-powerful, demanding, pushy, and uncontested, figure of authority far in the sky, against whom she has no power of choice, whom she is not capable of confronting – it’s big and it’s vague, so it can’t be addressed, targeted, or interacted with directly – and whom she is meant to obey and serve, without being able to do anything about it. This also further compounds on the stigma of having to do things that are unpleasant to her.
Much like Mary protects herself from the power of a figure of authority by hiding her feelings, the fairy did the same: she resisted the force to go into the planet by disconnecting herself from her ability to feel. This relates to the metaphysical nature of the Devic realms, which is slightly different than how physical matter works. A fairy does not have a physical body or physical strength; she did not push against the energy with her hands. Instead, she avoided being dragged by the energy of descension onto the planet, by trying to “unplug” herself from the source of that energy.
This would be akin to you shutting down a radio, or changing its tuning, to avoid listening to a station you didn’t want to listen, because suddenly a specific tune came on that you didn’t want to hear. Now imagine the fairy is the radio, tuning (feeling) onto the energy around her. And imagine that the fairy didn’t like the music (the energy) that just came on, which was wanting her to go down to the planet. So she tried to “untune” herself from it.
From that point on, she believed that allowing herself to feel would lead to something bad.
Over the span of an eternity, in her struggle the fairy trained herself in tuning herself out of the energy she felt. That’s how she resisted it. She blocked herself out of her own feelings.
There’s a part of you inside that is deeply angry. You are angry since the times of the fairy, where she felt she was not listened to, nor did she receive answers from the Elders, or the Universe itself for that matter. You are angry because those around you don’t acknowledge you, and just push against you.
Deep down, your inner self is angry because you don’t acknowledge yourself. You don’t even acknowledge you’re angry.
This anger then makes you further insist on the pattern of withdrawing from your feelings. This is just as the fairy did: she resisted more and more the apparent wills of the gods, having her disconnect more and more from her own ability to feel freely. But this is a negative vicious cycle. You feel angry and so you disconnect. But the more you disconnect, the less energy you have, and the more powerless you become, and the more frustrated you grow.
A feeling is not always “right” or balanced. Sometimes there are negative attributes and soft spots about us we haven’t solved yet, and when those soft spots are touched and addressed, intense unsolved feelings come to the surface, because they aren’t healed. The reasons behind those feelings are not solved yet. We aren’t at peace.
But there are always reasons for them. Including anger itself.
Feelings don’t appear out of thin air. They aren’t there because you’re flawed, or because you’re a bad person. Feelings have a cause. Always. But that very cause no longer can be accessed or addressed, if the feelings it’s causing are suppressed or dismissed. So the last thing you want to do to feelings is suppressing them, labelling them as right or wrong, or dismissing them. To dismiss your feelings is to dismiss your own self.
This reading urges you to make peace with what you feel.
A feeling does not imply a meaning.
A feeling does not imply an action.
A feeling does not imply a choice.
A feeling cannot be dismissed because of a meaning, action, or choice, that is associated to it by the one who feels it.
If you feel angry, it doesn’t mean you should be violent to someone. It doesn’t imply if the feeling of being angry is “right” or “wrong”. When you experience a feeling, don’t immediately jump to conclusions about what it might mean.
Just be with the feeling. Without acting upon it. Without thinking about it. Just be with it.
Only after acknowledging what you feel, and accepting that you feel it, do you begin to ask the Universe what does that feeling mean.
Your healing, not only as related to this reading but as a whole, in your life general, revolves around the process of, by your own choice and intention, reconnecting with what you feel.
Feeling is, and always has been, the core theme of your being.
Part IV: Clarification of the Memory
4.1 No Judgment
The higher hierarchies of the Devic realms did not held, at any point, any form of criticism, grudge, or ill-intent against the fairy.
She did absolutely nothing wrong (contrary to what she believed).
The Devic hierarchies had as much judgement over the fairy not going into the planet, as much as the gardener holds judgement over the water that remains inside the can as he waters his flowers.
When a gardener waters his plants in his garden, does he flip over the bucket of water abruptly, in a fell swoop, over the plants? Does he throw all of the water at once? No. That would possibly be violent and harmful to the plants. Instead, he leans the can carefully, slowly, so that a small stream of water glides to the plants and the soil, in a gentle, controlled way.
This was what the Devic subtle planet was there to do. Much like the gardener waters his plants in a gentle manner, the deliverance of Devic energy to the planet was meant to be gentle, slow, careful – being the bucket of water the Devic planet, and its water, the multitude of energy and beings meant to descend on the rocky plan(e)t.
The first beings, and fairies, to respond to the call and descend – the first “water” to stream down – would naturally tend to be the more, shall we say, pioneering, or dauntless. These would not mind, and would possibly even revel, find it fun, going into the planet first, when it was still in its extremely barren state, entirely devoid of life, warmth, and energy.
But those were only the first of many. For indeed, even the planet at first would not be able to handle and hold much more energy than that.
The deliverance of fairies and Devic energy to the planet was meant, purposefully and intentionally, to happen gradually, by steps if you will, always following an appropriate timing. After the first beings went forth and descended, many more remained behind, like the water in the gardener’s can that remains inside it. Those who stayed, would then have their own correct timing to go at a latter time, gradually.
So you see, the Devic Elders did not want to “shove” the fairy off the planet by force, against her will. On the contrary. They would lean the energy gently, like the gardener sensibly pouring a gentle stream of water over his plants. Not all fairies were meant to go right away, nor was there any higher expectation for them to do so.
There was no problem, or criticism, at all, if a fairy feared going into the planet while it was still in its very raw barren condition.
You dreaded going into the planet in its very dark and early stages, because you are, you always were, so sensitive to the energy and aesthetics of things. The difference between the energy of your “home soil” and the energy of the planet was so stark and such a shock. It looked so dark and lifeless to you. It was only natural for you to not want to go to that dark place. And that was okay. That only meant that you weren’t one of the first ones to go.
The only mistake, if you want to call it that (perhaps a better usage of words would be ‘misunderstanding’) was your interpretation of what you felt.
Your fear simply meant you weren’t supposed to go to the planet right away. You were only supposed to go at a time when the planet was more warm, more inviting, at least relative to that very harsh stage. That was the natural stage, the natural rhythm, you were meant to go. So for this reason, your feelings were perfectly valid. As they always are.
Although this misunderstanding came from a false premise, from that point on you believed in the ill-intent of an higher power towards you. And so, even if that wasn’t the case in that situation, from then on you began to attract situations that would make you feel that figures of authority were pushing you, and would have no regard for how you felt.
The force you felt pushing you towards the planet was twofold. First and foremost, you were feeling the tilting of the watering can, if you will. You were feeling the tendency of the energy pouring, being called towards, the planet. This energy was the very calling the Devic beings were answering to, and their movement, their descend, that intensified the sensation.
Second, you tuned greatly into this motion of energy because as a fairy you were to sensitive to what everybody else was feeling, and to what the desire of the higher hierarchies. You had so much desire to serve, and at the same time were in tune with the wills and responses of all others around you, that you continually felt their movement, the flow of energy. You are very sensitive and aligned to the energy around you, as we’ve said. You always were.
This still leaves one thing to explain: why weren’t you explained any of this? Why didn’t anyone told you anything for all of that time? Or why weren’t you able to understand this?
To understand the misunderstanding, one must take into consideration this wasn’t a gathering of fully grown, rational adult humans. These were fairies in a Devic setting. It was a reality and circumstances very different from the physical reality on Earth.
The best analogy we can offer remains being the playground or kindergarten with many children never older than 5-6 years of age. These were simple beings, whose intrinsic nature was about immediate feelings and reacting to them. They did not have a complex psyche with which they could fully grasp the reality around them in a logical manner. In this sense the fairy’s ability to comprehend her own situation was limited (at least if we make a comparison with how an adult human being would deal with the same situation).
Furthermore, the fairy did not “grow up” over time. She did not become something other than a fairy – at least not in the scope of this memory. She remained being a fairy.
If she was a being whose nature incorporated an elaborate mind, or some other different way of understanding reality, there could have taken place different forms of getting the message across to her: “Everything is okay. You are fine. Nothing’s wrong with you. What you are feeling is this and this.”
But a fairy is a being that is 100% feeling. And from the precise instant the fairy disassociated herself from her feelings, she literally cut her cord from her own inner connection to Source.
Often, when a human gets furious past a certain level of intensity, he enters an out-of-control state where it seems like nothing can get to him. He can’t be reasoned with. He can’t hold a clear-minded though or conversation. He can’t be called to reason. He’s in an altered state.
There is a parallel mechanism that takes place on a metaphysical/spiritual level. When a human being gets upset, panics, or is otherwise temporarily polarized in a negatively-aligned state, he becomes as if shrouded in a mist of dark energy, and at that point Spirit can’t get to him. He can’t receive Light, clarity, insight, or love, from Spirit, while he remains in such a state.
But when he relaxes, when he takes a deep breath, when he goes outside to freshen his mind – or when he simply waits out his own rut – at that point solutions to problems start to come up; the situation seems to not be as bad as before. If nothing else, he’ll find it easier to calm down.
Yet another example: those occasions when the human insists and persists in finding a solution to a problem, but is stuck and can’t get forward no matter how hard he tries; but when he seems to walk away; when he sleeps over it; or sometimes when he gives up and lets go, at that point things just seem to unblock, and the situation flows again. He might receive a new insight; he might see the situation in a new light; or he might simply receive a different, alternative way of doing things.
When any being in the Universe becomes upset, and allows himself to be overcome by that state of being upset, his own inner connection to Source is as if shrouded, dimmed, temporarily blocked. At that point the Light from Source, which makes all things simple, easy, flowing, is not as capable of shining upon him like before – because of his own free will. And at that point everything seems worse to him; solutions to problems are not apparent or do not flow. The energy darkens.
Likewise, when you relax and go back to a calm state; when you are able to let go of an issue where you’ve gotten stuck, you even if temporarily; then at that moment the Light from Spirit (peace, tranquillity, insight, creativity, the optimal answers to posed questions) then has the opportunity to come in and bathe you. This is for example one of the purposes of meditation: to quiet the mind and the emotional state, and being them into the now, so that the person may reconnect back to her own source of Light within.
When the fairy disassociated herself from her own feelings, and became more and more embroiled in her state of desperation, she as if cut the chord of her own connection to the higher Source and the Elders.
Had she not done so, she would had felt clearly their energy as a response to her cries: “We love you. All is okay. You are just fine. You can feel fear. You are right in feeling fear. You can go later. Or you don’t have to go. You can stay here.”
This energy wouldn’t have been felt as “words” by the fairy, but as feeling. As a soft, smooth sensation of peace and harmony washing over her, as a response to her requests and doubts. But because she had disconnected herself from the source of that higher feeling, the less and less clear it would had been for her to be able to feel it.
In an energy sense, one could say the fairy was akin to a small infant throwing a tantrum so loud, so intense, so desperate, that the parents just couldn’t get to the child no matter how hard they tried. They couldn’t reach her. It just wasn’t possible.
And so, much like any good, loving parents would have done, they resorted to waiting, patiently, for the moment when the child’s tantrum would wear off, and she could finally be able to be spoken to.
Even if it was a tantrum that lasted for millions of years.
4.3 The Leap of Courage
The fairy did feel an appeal to descend into the planet and serve the energy that was calling for it. That was another reason for her to “tune into” the push. She did want to go. She did want to serve. It was just that she wasn’t supposed to go right at the start. Both the fear and the push were “correct”. Just the interpretation about them was off.
The fairy did eventually descend to the planet. She did so at a time that, otherwise, would have been the appropriate moment for her to do so regardless.
It was just that, by that time, she had already been quite affected by her own ordeal.
Now she held frustration, doubt, suffering, anger. She was holding the stigma that she was there by force, by obligation, against her will. She was now less happy or spontaneous than other fairies. She also held a permanent sensation of having failed, of being flawed, being under a permanent necessity of catching up to others. So even through she was not flawed, she believed she was. And from this point on this began bringing to herself situations that made her feel that way.
The experience on now being the planet was far from perfect. She still was there not entirely out of positive feelings, not entirely out of happiness. She held a grudge. She was bitter. She never truly accepted being there. All the feelings of bitterness, anger, frustrated, doubt, and inferiority, coalesced together to form an experience that was less about positive joy and service, and more a painful and heavy drag.
This was an energy the fairy now carried with her, inside of her.
There was a time, much farther in the future of the planet, where it began taking place a screening of Souls to begin incarnating in as intelligent human beings. At that point, still holding on to the old wounds that were never truly healed, the Devic hierarchies though of the fairy herself as a potential candidate.
A human existence encompasses the balancing of multiple traits by which Intelligent Infinity can manifest: mental acuity; logic and reasoning; emotions; physical impulses; higher spiritual thought – all in the same experience. The experience of being human, as far as Consciousness goes, is a balanced and complete experience, because it merges and deals with all of these traits within the same physicality. It allows for the experience and consideration of all of these attributes, virtually at the same time.
The Devic hierarchies saw this as an opportunity to allow the fairy to process her own pain, since this pain came from a much more complex inner self than the what a fairy existence usually is able to deal with.
Within the fairy there was a very strong polarity between light and dark; there was much revolt, anger, frustration, and conflict. There was a blockage that was of a more mind-based nature, rather than an emotional one – even though it was being held by the otherwise simple being such as a fairy. And so it became progressively obvious to them that this was something far too difficult for a fairy existence to be able to handle.
We saw the human existence as the opportunity for the fairy to finally, eventually, be able to process her own pain within. In the very least, it was hoped that it would provide the venues for her to finally receive the message she was asking for, but couldn’t receive: that she was perfect and flawless and that everything was well. We had been trying to reach her forever, but to no avail. Perhaps this message could be transmitted to her on the human mental level; perhaps on some higher spiritual level; or in some other way that a human would pick up.
It was not known how easy it would be or how long it would take. The best case scenario would be, that within a short while she would be able to finally hear the message, in some way, in a relatively quick process. The worst case would be that the spirit of the human being that had been a fairy for a long time, now was being afforded the opportunity to explore, and eventually heal, her grief – if not right away, then for as long as it took.
The fairy was deeply disturbed and distorted in the way she perceived herself and her reality. It wouldn’t be easy to try to explain to her why she was supposed to incarnate into the physical as a human. What was able to be transmitted to her, in terms she could understand, was that being chosen to be a human was a way for her to serve the Devic kingdoms.
Because she held the stigma of being worse than everybody else, she did respond to the idea of compensating for the service she thought she wasn’t being able to perform how she was expected to.
For a fairy to transition into becoming a human being is not unheard of. Many human beings today have roots in a Devic past. However the human experience, particularly in the harsh environment of 3D, is not for the faint of heart. It involves a very significant risk of (ultimately temporary but nonetheless painful) loss of consciousness, because of the exploration of the darkness within, for the most part carried out externally.
For these reasons becoming a human can be a daunting prospect, that only the bravest and most dauntless of Souls consider seriously. A fairy, typically a simple and innocent being, is usually not the first type of candidate that would come to mind.
But the courage that it would take the fairy to commit do so, was precisely, if you will, the “selling point” for her. This is how it was explained to the fairy that she would prove herself. Now she would have a new opportunity to ‘dive in’ into a challenging situation of service, on behalf of the Devic Realms.
This was actually not the case – it was how we managed to convince her, in a language she could understand. In truth, deep down, it was a last-resort attempt to heal her own grief, pain, and anger. Still, she would enter the human existence with the belief that she was meant to compensate for her own shortcomings and flaws.
And so it was, with a gust of courage, that the fairy ventured forth into the human existence, with a glimmer of hope that a new opportunity to serve was being given to her. The fairy was now human, incarnating in the same planet the herself had helped to birth.
This planet was Earth, where she has been ever since.